The College Life DLC Concept thread!
Hello and welcome to the College life DLC Concept thread, where we will see my concept for Rockstar to implement my ideas into the pathetic excuse of a game. This update will circle around the theme of students head back to College, just like the "Back to School DLC" thread.
Dorms - Ever wanted to live in a small closet and pay close to the same amount for a five star hotel? Well now you can! Dorms are now added as an option in every apartment complex to give you High School kids and little taste of what you can expect to suffer through if you decide to go into several thousands dollars into dept to get a job equivalent as a burger flipper and the Mac Shack.
Shuttle Buses - Now you can own the very vehicle where you were first sexually assaulted by a homeless man on your way to your first class. Take your shuttle bus that is nearly identical to the one available from Pegasus out into the night to pick up not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, but SEVEN HOOKERS. Thats right folks, seven hookers at once. These babies are practically selling themselves.
Textbooks - These really don't have a purpose in Online, and we really can't figure out a way to implement them, so we're adding them anyway. Textbooks are severally overrated and overpriced up to 300%! Help speed up the process of going into debt by buying a book you may only look at once and end up spending over $200 for a paperweight. If this doesn't scream, "spend more money, buy more Cash Cards" then I don't know what to believe!
STD's - Ever have an itch down there in your no-no square that just wouldn't go away? Or pain when you are urinating? Well, you probably have an STD and are wasting away as we speak. Like many college kids, you plan on spending your days studying hard and attending all your classes, but come nightfall, you are a party animal and a sex machine and your goal is to slay every pussy that isn't over 300 Lbs but you will because you're that desperate. STD will be given to players if the are lucky enough to contract it from a hooker. Once a player has an STD the player will have to pay several hundred dollars every week for an automated pain medicine and medical bills. STD's can also be transferred from player to player if they engage in hand-to-hand combat. Again, if this doesn't scream "we want you to blow more money and by Cash Kards" I don't know what does.
Meal Plan - Yet another way for Rockstar to suck every lost drop of cash out of your GTA Online account. Food will be delivered to your new dorm or apartment. You will be charged the ridiculous chargers regardless if you even eat the food or not. This terribly prepared and nutrient deprived food is sure to make you question who you even bother attending College when you could be sitting in your mothers basement, getting three meals a day, and not having to go outside at all except when your father regrets having you and asks you to take out the trash, where he secretly hopes you will be kidnapped and never seen or heard from again.
Bicycles - Tired of taking the shuttle bus where the old homeless man keeps sniffing you hair and keeps asking how much for a quicky? Well fear no more! We've added several new and improved bicycles that will show off your terrible traits as you peddle your way to school every day.
Loan/ Debt - Not a common thing that occurs in GTA due to the money hacks, car duplication glitches, or the fact that micro transactions are a thing in this game. Loans/ Debt is a new feature available in this update. You take out so many loans and put yourself so far into debt you will work your entire adult life just to pay off your school loans, not including your mortgage, taxes, cost of living, and most likely your drug addiction. So we implements Loans! With a loan from Maze Bank, you can easily acquire several million dollars to blow on anything you want with a sneaky 80% APR that you will most likely die before paying back. This is where Debt is implement. You have several days to pay off your existing debt before the debt collectors come knocking on your poor ass door, where they will take everything you own, even your spoiled children and ugly wife. Don't fret, "taking the easy way out" is always an option when it comes to debt.
University interior - With all this talk about college, wouldn't it be nice to actually be able to enter the University already in Los Santos? Well now you can! In this update you will be able to walk through the front doors and walk around the empty building since no one takes classes their because you're either a drug dealer or a stripper in the game.
Well that is all for my amazing idea of "The College Life DLC" Concept thread. I hope you enjoyed my ideas and I couldn't really care less if you didn't.
If you like this idea hit the thumbs up and subscribe if your an idiot and think this sh*t is really great content.
Have an idea for a funny concept thread? Let me know in the comments below or send me a PM! I might use it if it's funny, but it's probably not.
EDIT: If you are not contributing to the thread topic, please don't comment at all. K Thanks Bye.