Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

Online friendship/relationships?

105 replies to this topic
pouritup90
  • pouritup90

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 21 Apr 2014
  • United-States

#1

Posted 02 August 2014 - 02:34 PM

So I've been IM'ing this girl for a three months now and I think we are liking eachother alot, the only problem is that she is in a completely different country to me and I am worried I am getting attached to her. We talk on video and stuff and talk on Kik and Snapchat and all that BS and so far things are going great but I'm afraid of getting hurt. So far it has been talking every day but it will need to slow down at some point and I am scared of her losing interest or finding someone else. I jokingly said something about meeting her in the future and she said she would love it to happen but maybe she done that to be nice. 

 

What do we think guys? Are online relationships worth it and do we have any tips for me? I have made some friends from a baseball forum who I talk to on IM as well and we have planned on attending a Baseball game in the future however even with them I am worried they will become bored of me and I will lose communication with them.

 

I have a sh*tty job in a supermarket and spend all my other free time gaming so these friendships/this girl relationship are sort of interesting to me and adding a sense osf excitement. Hmmm

  • nkaujrog likes this

Max
  • Max

    The Port Vila Killa.

  • Zaibatsu
  • Joined: 01 Mar 2009
  • Vanuatu
  • Contribution Award [Sports]

#2

Posted 02 August 2014 - 02:42 PM

I don't see why she would have been lying about wanting to meet up in the future if you two do indeed get along well.

However, my advice would be to not get attached to a girl on the otherside of the world and actually make a concerted effort to meet people, both male and female in real life. The internet is great and I've met some great friends through this forum in particular, but there is no substitute for genuine inter-personal interaction. It sounds like you need it my friend.
  • Oddsock, Failure, Tyler and 8 others like this

SingularSoul
  • SingularSoul

    "Danger zonnnne".

  • Members
  • Joined: 31 Dec 2013
  • Scotland

#3

Posted 02 August 2014 - 02:56 PM

Go for it OP; Just be careful.

You clearly have evidence she isn't POSING as someone else, so that gives me faith that you could have something genuinely worthwhile to celebrate.

Thus, if you can, make it happen. You never know what might come out of it.

:)

  • nkaujrog likes this

pouritup90
  • pouritup90

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 21 Apr 2014
  • United-States

#4

Posted 02 August 2014 - 03:18 PM

I don't see why she would have been lying about wanting to meet up in the future if you two do indeed get along well.
 

 

Hello thanks for the reply. I would say we know eachother very well it's just I don't really know her intentions. So far it has been fun chat and flirting and maybe that is all she wants. I just do not want to try and turn this into a "relationship" or talk about meeting up and make it real life stuff when all she could be wanting is someone to talk to and have fun with and not have any emotional ties to. Of course I should bring it up to her but don't want to scare her or come across too clingy if you know what I mean.

  • nkaujrog likes this

Kristian.
  • Kristian.

    Dealux (ΣΓ)

  • $outh $ide Hoodz
  • Joined: 26 Nov 2011
  • None

#5

Posted 02 August 2014 - 03:20 PM Edited by Criѕtian, 02 August 2014 - 03:21 PM.

I don't see why she would have been lying about wanting to meet up in the future if you two do indeed get along well.

Especially if she talks to you a lot. That's usually a sign that the other person likes you.

 

I was pretty close to having an online relationship once but I had to put a stop to its development because there was no guarantee that I was going to meet this person at anytime in the future (although I never thought that it would be impossible) and I didn't want to wait around too long when I could just as easily meet someone here where I live. I mean what if you meet someone else in real life, someone just as nice who also happens to like you? Are you going to pass up that opportunity for something that is uncertain? All of this may sound egotistical but you should ask yourself: how much do I really like this person online? Is she worth the wait?

 

I would get involved in a relationship like this if I really really liked the girl. If she was that special, and you might find (if you're lucky) that some girls are really special to you and hopefully it will be someone that you can meet.

  • nkaujrog likes this

AceThaCreator
  • AceThaCreator

    Hiii PoWeReD

  • Members
  • Joined: 21 Dec 2013
  • United-States

#6

Posted 02 August 2014 - 03:26 PM

IMHO i wouldn't progress past just being friends because of the distance in miles & not knowing her enough in person but dude you only live once & if you want something then go after it & try not to put TOO MUCH thought into it.
  • nkaujrog likes this

Aby
  • Aby

    ★ Sexualizer ★

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 30 Jul 2014
  • Cuba
  • Biggest Like Whore 2014
    Most Improved 2014
    Best New Member 2013

#7

Posted 02 August 2014 - 03:33 PM

I don't think online relationships are worth it, but I completely approve of online friendships.  Like Max said, an online relationship doesn't come close to genuine interaction, so might want to make the effort to find a partner in real life, and hang onto your online baseball buddies.  Of course meeting friends IRL is an excellent decision as well.

  • BlackScout and nkaujrog like this

Mr. Scratch
  • Mr. Scratch

    The Business

  • Members
  • Joined: 15 Jul 2009
  • None

#8

Posted 02 August 2014 - 03:38 PM

False, there are no women on the internet. 

  • Plank., Kalvin, Jeone and 1 other like this

Coin.
  • Coin.

    Some motherf*ckers always trying to ice skate up hill.

  • Feroci
  • Joined: 06 Jan 2014
  • Australia
  • Best New Member 2014

#9

Posted 02 August 2014 - 04:05 PM

As someone who has done the whole online relationship thing once before, I don't think it's really worth it.

 

Meet her first, see what happens and go from there.


Marwin
  • Marwin

    tilgi dem ikke; de vet hvad de gjr!

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Feb 2008
  • Norway
  • Contribution [Music]

#10

Posted 02 August 2014 - 04:13 PM

Relationship as in friendly relationship? I've got this guy I've been chatting with on MSN and skype every single day for the last 6 years. It has its ups and downs just like a 'regular' friendship, but make no mistake; I'd live to see the sunrise if he died. Sure it'd have an impact, but could I ever really say I knew the man?

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's good to have 'online friendships' but don't mix them up with the real world. At least not until you actually meet the person you're talking about.


Dalamo
  • Dalamo

    Soulbrandt

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 May 2013
  • Puerto-Rico

#11

Posted 02 August 2014 - 04:49 PM

If you KNOW you like her enough and you KNOW she likes you enough back, make sure you two are working up to the point where both of you eventually meet up.

It is worth it. It doesn't take much to realize that.
  • nkaujrog likes this

Buckminsterfullerene
  • Buckminsterfullerene

    WHY AM I STILL GETTING HATE?

  • Members
  • Joined: 09 Mar 2014
  • Somalia

#12

Posted 02 August 2014 - 04:55 PM

My first relationship ever was an online one, yeah we didn't last long. She lost interest quick.

I personally don't think online relationships are worth it unless the person you're interested in is a one in a million, but even then it's still risky.

  • nkaujrog likes this

Kalvin
  • Kalvin

  • Zaibatsu
  • Joined: 06 Apr 2011
  • United-Kingdom
  • Most Desperate Campaign Poster 2015
    April Fools Winner 2015
    Contribution Award [Mods]
    Champion Guinea Pig [GTAFMC]
    Most Annoying Member [All Time]
    Best Total Overhaul 2014 [GTA SA Beta Edition]
    Biggest Asskisser 2014
    Biggest Asskisser 2013

#13

Posted 02 August 2014 - 04:55 PM Edited by Kalvin, 02 August 2014 - 04:56 PM.

There are friendships/relationships happening in the outside world? :O

  • Aby likes this

Alexander
  • Alexander

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 05 Apr 2012
  • Venezuela

#14

Posted 02 August 2014 - 05:11 PM

However, my advice would be to not get attached to a girl on the otherside of the world and actually make a concerted effort to meet people, both male and female in real life. The internet is great and I've met some great friends through this forum in particular, but there is no substitute for genuine inter-personal interaction. It sounds like you need it my friend.


This.

Online friendships are ok, I have a few, but there's nothing like reality IMO. Of course, it might be different for you, and about online relationships I have no experience.
My sister met her current boyfriend online, they lived in different states, and he's a great guy. I know him now and we are very good friends.
Who knows? maybe when you meet the girl, things get to work out well. Getting hurt is always a possibility in any type of relationships, don't let that stop you.
If you like the girl, and she likes you, go for it.
  • nkaujrog likes this

Tyler
  • Tyler

    Keep what you have built up here

  • Moderator
  • Joined: 22 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Best Poem 2014
    Best Story 2014
    Most Talented Writer 2014
    Newcomer of the Year 2010

#15

Posted 02 August 2014 - 06:05 PM

It's interesting-- I used to consider online friendships and anything more to be superfluous. I thought they were completely unnecessary and that one could get by just fine with relationships in real life. I mean we had been doing that for all of history up to this point.

 

I'll be honest,though: I've rarely found anyone in real life who shares the many interests I have as deeply as I do. It's just a matter of chance that this is the case, and of course I don't let it impede my gaining friends-- I rather like socializing with everyone and I'm pretty talkative unless I'm in one of those moods. It's just that I've never really been able to uh, let my guard completely down and just say everything I want to say, with most real life friends. I mean I've met maybe four people I was comfortable doing that with in real life and they were all partners for a time because of that capacity and the interests we shared.

 

Online it's different, though. I have fostered some pretty great friendships with people I'd otherwise have never met. We can talk about most anything and our fragmented humour or passions or whatever fit in well-- it works just as well as real life friendships minus the occasional drunk-accidental-groping that you sometimes get with friends. Still, the flip-side of this is that most online friendships are rather long-distance. I sometimes feel a bit down knowing these people I've otherwise become great friends with are people I'll probably never meet. At the same time I've met a few people I knew online and it went very well.

 

It's a mixed bag, really. I don't think you should exclude the opportunity to foster a relationship online if you're willing to shorten the distance and meet them a few times. This is especially important if you're going to be in an intimate relationship. There's ways to make it work, it's just not a very easy thing to do. In fact I think it's probably more difficult than just maintaining a relationship in real life. However if you think the person is worth it then give it your all. No point waiting around or holding your feelings back because you're scared someone won't like you. That's a line of thought that will lead to you looking back on your life choices with disappointment.

  • RedDagger, Kristian., a20characterusername and 2 others like this

Titania
  • Titania

    Winky face! ;)

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 28 Nov 2013
  • Netherlands

#16

Posted 02 August 2014 - 06:07 PM

While I agree a real relationship is better, there's nothing wrong with an online one either. If you're absolutely sure she's into you, go for it.
  • nkaujrog likes this

El Diablo
  • El Diablo

    "The Devil"

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 03 Aug 2002
  • Mars
  • April Fools Loser 2015

#17

Posted 02 August 2014 - 06:11 PM

what is with you guys meeting girls who are 10 countries away from you?

why can't you meet people locally?

  • Harley and nkaujrog like this

Aby
  • Aby

    ★ Sexualizer ★

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 30 Jul 2014
  • Cuba
  • Biggest Like Whore 2014
    Most Improved 2014
    Best New Member 2013

#18

Posted 02 August 2014 - 06:39 PM

what is with you guys meeting girls who are 10 countries away from you?

why can't you meet people locally?

 

I think because it's easier to find someone with the same interests as you online.  Also of course the online interaction is obviously a lot easier as well.  Just my guess.

  • orbitalraindrops and nkaujrog like this

 dice
  •  dice

    Always rolling

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 12 Aug 2008
  • None
  • Best Server SAMP 2009

#19

Posted 02 August 2014 - 06:45 PM

Of course online relatioships are better. How could I show funny cat pictures to someone IRL?
  • Eutyphro, Titania and nkaujrog like this

El Diablo
  • El Diablo

    "The Devil"

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 03 Aug 2002
  • Mars
  • April Fools Loser 2015

#20

Posted 02 August 2014 - 06:50 PM

if all of us only did the thing that was 'easier,' we'd still be living in caves.

  • Mister Pink, Marwin and Aby like this

Alexander
  • Alexander

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 05 Apr 2012
  • Venezuela

#21

Posted 02 August 2014 - 07:04 PM

if all of us only did the thing that was 'easier,' we'd still be living in caves.


Caves with internet connection, I hope.

OT: I forgot to ask a while ago, how far is her country from yours?
  • Titania and nkaujrog like this

a20characterusername
  • a20characterusername

    \_(ツ)_/

  • Members
  • Joined: 06 Nov 2013
  • None

#22

Posted 02 August 2014 - 07:04 PM

Establishing friendships and relationships online is pretty common nowadays, so I don't see the big deal. A big upside to it as that, in a way, you're more comfortable with someone in an online setting because even though you may 'know' the person well enough, you still don't have to deal with any awkwardness or social expectations that may arise from being in the same room together, especially when it comes to male/female friendships. The downside of course if that, consciously or not, people lie, and you can only know a person so well without actually physically being with them, though in some cases that may actually be for the best. Plus, some people are just natural introverts and would rather not feel obligated to be around other people all the time, even if they are chatty, social, or have niche interests, etc., so I can see that angle too.

 

Personally, "e-friends" aren't really my thing, but if I happen to click with someone (which is rare both online and offline), then yeah I'll keep in touch. Not like it's hard to do or anything. As far as closer friendships or relationships go? It's not something I'd ever look for, but I don't rule out the idea either. I've only ever really gotten close with one person I met online, and its been a good thing, but like I say I don't look for it.

  • Eutyphro likes this

Mr. House
  • Mr. House

    I'm not good with people, but at least I'm not a racist

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 18 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#23

Posted 02 August 2014 - 07:17 PM Edited by Myron, 02 August 2014 - 07:22 PM.

if all of us only did the thing that was 'easier,' we'd still be living in caves.



Except that the whole history of human progress has been using tools to our advantage in order to live a more convenient life, thus we have mass transportation systems, roads, fast foods a global instant communication network, massive machines creating automotives, clothing for comfort, beds, systems of law, forms of entertainment unimaginable 200 years ago and a whole myriad of gizmos and gadgets intent on improving the human condition.

All of this to me sounds much easier than chasing a boar for 12 hours a day to prevent starvation then dying from a grazed knee. Then again you were trying to make some flimsy, hopelessly uninformed point.

As for the subject at hand, having online relationships whether platonic or romantic does not necessarily suggest a person committing them is a social reject and in fact, such relationships may actually help a person gain the confidence and social skills to learn to interact in the real world. Something that, without the Internet, that person would never have done. Besides which, the Internet and these relationships are the beginning of a truly international and borderless world society, free from the sectarian demons of the past. Unless successive governments finally manage to smash the freedom of the Internet which they may yet succeed at.
  • Eutyphro, Dalamo, a20characterusername and 3 others like this

MarshalMoo
  • MarshalMoo

    Hateoful Player

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2013
  • None
  • April Fools Winner 2015

#24

Posted 02 August 2014 - 08:12 PM

I love to meet people from the internet and see how much they've been lying about

  • Melchior and nkaujrog like this

Coin.
  • Coin.

    Some motherf*ckers always trying to ice skate up hill.

  • Feroci
  • Joined: 06 Jan 2014
  • Australia
  • Best New Member 2014

#25

Posted 02 August 2014 - 08:57 PM

what is with you guys meeting girls who are 10 countries away from you?

why can't you meet people locally?

 

Have you seen all the things that can kill you in Australia? Can't take the risk of meeting people locally when facing those kinds of dangers, friend.

  • Melchior, Aljohnk, DeafMetal and 1 other like this

El Diablo
  • El Diablo

    "The Devil"

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 03 Aug 2002
  • Mars
  • April Fools Loser 2015

#26

Posted 02 August 2014 - 09:26 PM Edited by El_Diablo, 02 August 2014 - 09:27 PM.

 

if all of us only did the thing that was 'easier,' we'd still be living in caves.

Except that the whole history of human progress has been using tools to our advantage in order to live a more convenient life, thus we have mass transportation systems, roads, fast foods a global instant communication network, massive machines creating automotives, clothing for comfort, beds, systems of law, forms of entertainment unimaginable 200 years ago and a whole myriad of gizmos and gadgets intent on improving the human condition.

that's sort of beside the point.

 

we work to make life more comfortable for everyone, yeah.

but do you have any idea how much work is actually involved in achieving that comfort? if all of us relied on doing what was easiest, then a few of us would never do what was necessary to elevate the rest.

 

let's consider the handful you decided to mention specifically.

- mass transportation system/roads

- fast food

- global instant communication

- automated automobiles

- philosophy, rule of law, justice system

- modern entertainment

 

these things didn't exactly invent/construct/manufacture/design/implement themselves. how did they come to be?

it was easier to simply not have them. walk, ride a horse, eat some corn, play with sticks, etc etc. but someone/group of people had to first envision a greater possibility and then expend countless manhours, mental and physical effort, money, and labor to provide this stuff for everybody else to simply latch onto.

  • Failure likes this

kevin de santa
  • kevin de santa

    Thug

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 16 Jun 2014
  • Ireland

#27

Posted 02 August 2014 - 10:04 PM

Meet a lot good people on xbl over the years. Meet two really good friends but my for some stupid reason I thought they were the cause for my depression and removed them been friends for about 4 years

MarshalMoo
  • MarshalMoo

    Hateoful Player

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2013
  • None
  • April Fools Winner 2015

#28

Posted 02 August 2014 - 10:20 PM

Meet a lot good people on xbl over the years. Meet two really good friends but my for some stupid reason I thought they were the cause for my depression and removed them been friends for about 4 years

Is English your second language? It sounds like it was just miss communication that caused you to break your friendships


Buckminsterfullerene
  • Buckminsterfullerene

    WHY AM I STILL GETTING HATE?

  • Members
  • Joined: 09 Mar 2014
  • Somalia

#29

Posted 02 August 2014 - 10:47 PM

 

Meet a lot good people on xbl over the years. Meet two really good friends but my for some stupid reason I thought they were the cause for my depression and removed them been friends for about 4 years

Is English your second language? It sounds like it was just miss communication that caused you to break your friendships

 

 

Not nice, dude, not nice.

  • nkaujrog likes this

johnny_zoo
  • johnny_zoo

    Aces!

  • Members
  • Joined: 15 Mar 2009
  • None

#30

Posted 02 August 2014 - 11:04 PM

Don't waste your time on long distance relationships.

You want a girl you can touch cuddle and be with.

Unless you knew each other beforehand and she moved away. It's pointless it's just infatuation nothing you can't find with a girl in your country.
  • nkaujrog likes this




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users