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lel no anal grape pls

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Johnny Playert
  • Johnny Playert

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#1

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:00 PM Edited by Johnny Playert, 23 July 2014 - 07:01 PM.

Chinese Boy Killed By Anal-Penetrating Chair
 
In China, a fourteen-year-old boy was killed when chair he was sitting on exploded.
Parts of the chair entered the boy’s rectum. The result was extensive bleeding. And it killed him.
 
The killer chair is a gas cylinder type, of the type seen at computer work stations. In blue.
The height of the chair is altered by an adjustable cylinder containing highly pressurized gas. It is this that exploded.
In 2007 another chair exploded, propelling a 20cm part into the backside of a 68-year-old man. He lived.
Made in China. Buyer beware…
 
anal-chair-death.jpg
 
 
 


Woman, 19, reports being anally raped at gunpoint

A 19-year-old woman was raped at gunpoint by the side of the road, in broad daylight on Sunday, police said.
 
According to a preliminary report, the incident was reported to police about 12:53 a.m. in the 4800 block of Laurel Street near Wisner Playground.
Police said an unknown man sexually assaulted the victim while being held at gunpoint by a third party.
A description of the assailant wasn't available.
More information will be posted as soon as it becomes available.
 
Anyone with information is asked to call Crimestoppers at 504-822-1111.
 

Spoiler


 

 
 
New revolutionary weapon reported in ongoing war on anal rape
 
Researchers from the M.U.A.A.R. (Men United Against Anal Rape, NY, USA) think they have found a permanent solution to the continuing struggle against (anal) rape.

The philosophy behind this weapon has been along the lines of 'a good offense is the best defense'. And many concur. This new revolutionary tactic is found to be 98% effective against so-called 'surprise buttsex'. Researchers are now pushing to further trickle down the production costs and make it more available to the public.

But make no mistake, this product is far from finished. Many women on the test panel complained of burnt sphincters and black burn marks in their underwear. A small price to pay to prevent anal tearing from anal rape, many conclude, and the main thought here seems to be that these women should just keep their damn mouth shut and stop complaining.

Spoiler

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IN CONCLUSION

 
Anal rape is no joke.

This topic is. Happy 3000 posts for Johnny Playert hueeeee
 

1541230.gif

 

 

 

Now get your free post and spizzam all you f*cking want. Then tidy up your sh*t and gtfo.

 

SPAM.jpg.gifSPAM.jpg.gif

 

Guess i'm supposed to give a Respect list now huh.

 

 

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AndyGanteks (thanks for bringing me into the Yard :^:)

MobBG le MobertoCarlos

GreasePalms aka griss

DneroJohnson mah couzin

Tommy. m8

dice le dicito

GB aka Bob_Dole

KEWLMON aka COOLGUY aka Rewash

Johacamigames the nigga Johan

Xyn da Xynner

Tycek

TheYokel aka gtavanja

Secura

Shoumic shoez

Nathan

Arvis (everyone)

860

NTAuthority the idler

Mokrie Dela

Kuruma

BnB

Boris The Vodka aka SatournFan

Freakorama (yes the hentai guy)

XJPostman (even though he prolly won't read this lol)

and others i haven't mentioned

 

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO NYCKI R.I.P.

 

 

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SPECIAL MENTION for GTA-King a.k.a. Leve-o a.k.a. The Leviathan.

Lotta hate. Bad rep. But i :3 u bro. Many funz haz been had on GTA IV, PAYDAY and GTA V.

Not to mention the Breaking Bad thread.

 

ChuckNorrisThumbsUp.png

 

 

 

Now everybody have some weedcake and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out

 

weed-and-marijuana-hd-8-1-s-307x512.jpg

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Rewas514
  • Rewas514

    Ebola everywhere!

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#2

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:01 PM

1376841660428.gif

 

Congrats.

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Xyn
  • Xyn

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#3

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:01 PM

That was beautiful... anal rape is bliss.

Oh and congrats there too

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GunWrath
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#4

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:01 PM

All I seen was anal and immediately clicked, well done.

 

Congrats.

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Ciaran
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#5

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:02 PM

Dafuq did I just read?
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Twilight Sky
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#6

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:05 PM

Dafuq did I just read?

My thoughts exactly.

 

You people aren't running out of creative ways to celebrate milestones.

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Moonshield
  • Moonshield

    amplifier worship

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#7

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:06 PM

Rape's hilarious. Great job.

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universetwisters
  • universetwisters

    THIS ONE GOES OUT TO ALL THE RAVERS IN THE NATION.

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#8

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:15 PM

What a misleading title.

Congrats
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Insert-Coin-To-Continue
  • Insert-Coin-To-Continue

    Credits: 0

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#9

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:16 PM

Bloody hell Johnny.

 

Well, congrats I suppose!

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Yolo Swaggins
  • Yolo Swaggins

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#10

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:19 PM Edited by Yolo Swaggins, 23 July 2014 - 07:19 PM.

Reminds me of playing cave explorer with Uncle Dan. Then he disappeared one day and I haven't seen him since.

Spoiler

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Mr.Scratch
  • Mr.Scratch

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#11

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:21 PM

What, no foot rape? Tarantino and The Leviathan are disappoint. 

 

Conga rats!

 

CONGARATS.gif

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dice
  • dice

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#12

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:28 PM

Sacrableu! that caught me by surprise
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Tommy.
  • Tommy.

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#13

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:34 PM

gg dutch :^:
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Johan
  • Johan

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#14

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:37 PM

Lelleeleelele congrats Johnny 2x4, hope you celebrate the day well with your buddy Plank.

edd_plank_174x52.png

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MobBG
  • MobBG

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#15

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:38 PM

I helped with the topic name! :colgate: :colgate:

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mareepx
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#16

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:44 PM

congrats.

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Vlynor
  • Vlynor

    Я не говорю

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#17

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:53 PM

7 years and all you can come up with is 3,000 posts? That's it?!

 

Off to Siberia with you.

 

Congrats, guy I think I've heard of.

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kk.
  • kk.

    So long

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#18

Posted 23 July 2014 - 07:53 PM

People here are very creative when it comes to milestones. Congrats.

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Secura
  • Secura

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#19

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:07 PM

Holland FTW :3.

 

<3 Johnneh

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Franceska
  • Franceska

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#20

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:11 PM

Congrats! :D
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Grandal.
  • Grandal.

    Insert witty title here

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#21

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:13 PM

I'm so confused...did the poor 14 year old chinese boy die from the exploding chair or not?   :blink:

 

Bahhh, don't tell me.  I'm a emotional mess right now.

 

Congrats on the milestone btw

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Johnny Playert
  • Johnny Playert

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#22

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:17 PM

I'm so confused...did the poor 14 year old chinese boy die from the exploding chair or not?   :blink:

 

Bahhh, don't tell me.  I'm a emotional mess right now.

 

Congrats on the milestone btw

 

Yeah that part actually happened. Harsh world we live in. Can't even sit on a chair without surprise buttsex these days.

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Yolo Swaggins
  • Yolo Swaggins

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#23

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:29 PM

 

I'm so confused...did the poor 14 year old chinese boy die from the exploding chair or not?   :blink:

 

Bahhh, don't tell me.  I'm a emotional mess right now.

 

Congrats on the milestone btw

 

Yeah that part actually happened. Harsh world we live in. Can't even sit on a chair without surprise buttsex these days.

 

A very uncomfortable subject to read about when you're sitting on a similar office chair. I hope that problem doesn't pertain to my chair, otherwise I'm sitting on a ticking anal-timebomb.

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Johnny Playert
  • Johnny Playert

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#24

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:33 PM

 

 

I'm so confused...did the poor 14 year old chinese boy die from the exploding chair or not?   :blink:

 

Bahhh, don't tell me.  I'm a emotional mess right now.

 

Congrats on the milestone btw

 

Yeah that part actually happened. Harsh world we live in. Can't even sit on a chair without surprise buttsex these days.

 

A very uncomfortable subject to read about when you're sitting on a similar office chair. I hope that problem doesn't pertain to my chair, otherwise I'm sitting on a ticking anal-timebomb.

 

 

Yeah it definitely made me think twice about them too every time i see one now.


El_Diablo
  • El_Diablo

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#25

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:44 PM

I hate milestone topics but I'm going to post here in recognition of the massive marijuana birthday cake you left sitting out...

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Andreas
  • Andreas

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#26

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:45 PM

When I was reading the topic title, I thought it was just a spam thread. When I entered this thread and saw it was you who created it, I thought I'd give it a read and soon realized it's a milestone topic. Good read, though.

Congratz!
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Voodoo
  • Voodoo

    Cyclop have 9 years

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#27

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:47 PM

3t399Zs.gif

 

Aw, yeah.

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BOSS 302
  • BOSS 302

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#28

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:48 PM

best milestone thread ever

I almost laughed my ass off

Congrats dude!
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The Yokel
  • The Yokel

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#29

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:53 PM Edited by The Yokel, 23 July 2014 - 08:54 PM.

Congrats on your anal rape. It truly is a milestone.

 

 

 

When I was reading the topic title, I thought it was just a spam thread. When I entered this thread and saw it was you who created it, I thought I'd give it a read and soon realized it's a milestone topic. Good read, though.

What a cool story. Can you please tell it again?

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hornedturtle
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#30

Posted 23 July 2014 - 08:56 PM

and others i haven't mentioned

yes! finally I'm mentioned in one of these :D . remember ladies....always leave the house pre-lubed to prevent this
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