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The Chronicles of Los Vagos

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PepsiKillaPL
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#1

Posted 19 June 2014 - 12:16 PM Edited by PepsiKillaPL, 20 June 2014 - 09:35 AM.

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Hello Everyone!

My name is Michael and I want to start designing for other peoples what's best in GTA San Andreas... Missions. Design Your Own Mission. Beautiful thing, that lets us all do our things, stories, even remaking for example GTA V or Watch_Dogs. This new Mission Pack is my very first Mission Pack, so i'm not sure, hell.. I don't want it to be, the best MP on this forum.. I want to show my skills in doing that.. Let's enter the breaking point.






Story


Jose Moreno, younger brother of Joel Moreno. Father of both Jose and Joel.. Jorge, was the leader of Los Vagos recently years. But he was killed years ago by Ballas leader, who is still leader... Brad Banks. In Los Santos, there's 2 other gangs, but they're neutrals for Los Vagos, war is happening between Vagos & Ballas. This 2 neutral gangs are Grove Streets, which is ruled by Sweet Johnson and his brother Carl Johnson... and Los Aztecas, which is ruled by Cesar Vialpando and his girlfriend, Kendl Johnson.. Everything is happening before CJ ran out to Red County.. BS are alive, Ryder too. They belong to Grove Street. Vagos are searching for revenge on Ballas. Is it going to pass? Just play it!





Missions


(TCoLV) #1 - Introduction


(TCoLV) #2 - Moreno Brothers


Credits

-Dutchy3010 and PatrickW


I know it doesn't look professional, but please, understand.. that this is my first MP ever. Thanks
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KD himan
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#2

Posted 19 June 2014 - 01:30 PM

Nice to see you start Posting missions here.


ProDX34
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#3

Posted 19 June 2014 - 03:16 PM

Looks nice. it's really good to see you start sharing your mission work here, i'll try to play this when you release some missions.

Anyway, good luck with your first MP...


dudeofSANTOS
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#4

Posted 19 June 2014 - 03:29 PM

yeah!
you are interesting and about your missions???
I will tell you after playing them... ;)

Huzaifa khan
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#5

Posted 19 June 2014 - 03:46 PM

Look's great MP I should play when you release your mission :) Good luck :^:

Eminence E.
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#6

Posted 19 June 2014 - 04:29 PM Edited by Eminence E., 19 June 2014 - 04:54 PM.

Good luck with your first mission pack. I'll surely play it when you release more missions.
E: The introduction is quite interesting. ;)

Rytuklis
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#7

Posted 20 June 2014 - 07:43 AM

Dzen Dobry PepsiKillaPL! For some reason, my sixth sense says that I should like you, and I do. I don't know but I just do, and I'll definatly play this mission pack! :). Will give ya some feedback soon! In the meantime, keep these missions coming! Nice to see new faces around here :)


Boris The Vodka
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#8

Posted 20 June 2014 - 08:25 AM

One thing about your plot - Cesar haven't married Kendl during the events of GTA SA, and since your story takes place during the original game as well, you might wanna change that.

PepsiKillaPL
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#9

Posted 20 June 2014 - 09:35 AM

Thanks Boris, I corrected that.

Second mission is up now! Check it and please, leave feedback after playing, thanks!

Huzaifa khan
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#10

Posted 20 June 2014 - 01:33 PM Edited by Huzaifa khan, 20 June 2014 - 01:33 PM.

Ok, I play your mission Moreno Brothers and I like it, but too short mission, But seriously I like the story :^: and I'm looking forward for next mission Good Luck  :)


Rytuklis
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#11

Posted 21 June 2014 - 08:58 AM

Ok, I had really big expectations about this, but I was turned down ;s. I'll tell ya - if I was a random stranger who would be looking for mission packs to play, and then would have played the introduction, just right after it i'd be like "Hell no, I'm not playing this!" . Why? Your introduction consists only of cutscenes, but that's okay, most introductions do, but your custcenes is just an empty shot to the street with no action or anything with sentences that summarise the plot in short. So it's like 20 seconds long. Well, you might be new here so let me tell ya - that's not how it works. The Introduction has to have atleast some action, it must introduce us to the plot in a way that would hook us up, would be interactive and fun. Let the originality flow. Now, since I promised to try this out, I went on to another mission. The dialogues felt really fake.. It just was, I didn't feel absorbed into the plot at all, to be honest, and the mission was way too short. We just grabbed a man, killed a few ballas, I mean, I and some other guy did, because Joel was still kicking the door for no reason, and then once we kill like 6 enemies, a cutscene showing a white guy, who most likely appears to be a ballas leader (???), holding an M4 and saying the most fake few lines I've ever saw in any mission pack, and then we kill him with a headshot, and that's pretty much it, you drive back and the mission is over.. Man, you've gotta add far more effort, depth and story to your missions. If you really think you can quickly put together a mission in 5 minutes, because to be honest when I played it that's how I felt it was made, then you can't really expect to reach a good audience... I'm sorry, but until you start putting effort into these missions, I can't give you more than 2/10. I hope your other missions will be an improvement.


Eminence E.
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#12

Posted 21 June 2014 - 10:56 AM Edited by Eminence E., 21 June 2014 - 11:05 AM.

^
I agree.
I neglected most part the introduction and focused only on the written part, I thought the missions would be interesting. But yes, high expectations lead to dissapoinment. Seriously, nothing was properly explianed, the mission was too short and lifeless. You could have done so much to spice up the mission. :s
But as for the first time - good and also good luck for your future missions, try to make them better. :)

Rytuklis
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#13

Posted 21 June 2014 - 10:59 AM

And don't get mad due to our bitter criticism! Harsh critics will always make some room for improvement :)

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