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How heists will be

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Grand Theft Swag
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#1

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:37 AM

every session will have a kid that makes the entire team lose in 10 seconds and then blame the other guys for that

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BamaGoodfella
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#2

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:41 AM

every session will have a kid that makes the entire team lose in 10 seconds and then blame the other guys for that

And that is exactly the reason why I don't play missions with randoms LOL.  

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EZza2647
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#3

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:44 AM

*
POPULAR

No, this is how heists will be.

 

  1. Get a van
  2. Get in the van
  3. Respray the van
  4. Take the van to Lester's
  5. Get a new van because you compromised Lester
  6. Get in the new van
  7. Go to the bank
  8. Shoot the guard
  9. Shoot the other guard
  10. Hack the vault
  11. Get the cash
  12. Lose the cops
  13. Go to the hideout
  14. Give Lester the cash

 

TOTAL TAKE $10 million

 

Lester's cut: $8 million

Martin's Golf fund: $1 million

Gerald's cut for keeping his mouth shut: $500k

Police Funeral cost: $460K

 

Player 1 cut: 10k

Player 2 cut: 10k

Player 3 cut: 10k

Player 4 cut: 10k

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.R3b3L
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#4

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:46 AM

No, this is how heists will be.

 

  1. Get a van
  2. Get in the van
  3. Respray the van
  4. Take the van to Lester's
  5. Get a new van because you compromised Lester
  6. Get in the new van
  7. Go to the bank
  8. Shoot the guard
  9. Shoot the other guard
  10. Hack the vault
  11. Get the cash
  12. Lose the cops
  13. Go to the hideout
  14. Give Lester the cash

 

TOTAL TAKE $10 million

 

Lester's cut: $8 million

Martin's Golf fund: $1 million

Gerald's cut for keeping his mouth shut: $500k

Police Funeral cost: $460K

 

Player 1 cut: 10k

Player 2 cut: 10k

Player 3 cut: 10k

Player 4 cut: 10k

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

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EZza2647
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#5

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:48 AM Edited by EZza2647, 18 May 2014 - 07:48 AM.

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

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GTAVArtem013
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#6

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:49 AM

Now keep your mouth shut about heists, you hear?

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Sash
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#7

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:50 AM

Enough with the heist threads.

If you want heists go play PAYDAY 2.
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ZeroSafe5615
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#8

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:51 AM

No, this is how heists will be.

 

  1. Get a van
  2. Get in the van
  3. Respray the van
  4. Take the van to Lester's
  5. Get a new van because you compromised Lester
  6. Get in the new van
  7. Go to the bank
  8. Shoot the guard
  9. Shoot the other guard
  10. Hack the vault
  11. Get the cash
  12. Lose the cops
  13. Go to the hideout
  14. Give Lester the cash

 

TOTAL TAKE $10 million

 

Lester's cut: $8 million

Martin's Golf fund: $1 million

Gerald's cut for keeping his mouth shut: $500k

Police Funeral cost: $460K

 

Player 1 cut: 10k

Player 2 cut: 10k

Player 3 cut: 10k

Player 4 cut: 10k

My sides have parted from my body and are floating around in space after reading that.

How can you forget Trevor's cut because Ron the intern spoke for the business?

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BlackMilk
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#9

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:56 AM

The pay will be horrible and/or heists will come way too late for anyone to need the money anymore.

I'm just hoping they're a lot of fun to play, more than the average "difficult" mission where one guy can just do it all by himself.

 

Actually you can pretty much assume that the pay won't be good. Stupid eternal cash cards.

Rooftop Rumble is probably going to be the number 1 method of earning RP and cash quickly.


.R3b3L
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#10

Posted 18 May 2014 - 07:57 AM

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?


EZza2647
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#11

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:03 AM

 

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?

 

babbling? Obviously you don't know what a joke is. 

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.R3b3L
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#12

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:06 AM

 

 

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?

 

babbling? Obviously you don't know what a joke is. 

 

I'm guessing your first post wouldn't have been a joke had i not pointed out how stupid it was in the first place, right?

Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid"


Vanilla Poison
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#13

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:12 AM


 


 


 


 


-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?
 
25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg
And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists
 
So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?
 
babbling? Obviously you don't know what a joke is. 
 
I'm guessing your first post wouldn't have been a joke had i not pointed out how stupid it was in the first place, right?
Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid"
You need to chill out.
OT: I'll probably play through all the Heists, but just once. They won't be that fun and will pay like sh*t.
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EZza2647
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#14

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:14 AM Edited by EZza2647, 18 May 2014 - 08:15 AM.

 

 

 

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?

 

babbling? Obviously you don't know what a joke is. 

 

I'm guessing your first post wouldn't have been a joke had i not pointed out how stupid it was in the first place, right?

Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid"

 

I love GTA actually, I've always been kind of a Rockstar fanboy, and I hate the negative reception they get.

 

It's actually quite frightening to me that you didn't know from first sight that it was a joke. I was simply putting it to GTA Forums, in a whimsical way, that heists will more than likely be a little less than what they are in Singleplayer, through the use of a hyperbole. (which is an over-exaggeration). They will more than likely be a multi strand mission, like "The Los Santos Connection" for example. 

 

Now, you still haven't shown me "how stupid" it was. And by looking at the last line of your recent, poorly constructed argument, 

 

" Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid " I can see that you are more than likely a child or new-teen. I mean, you were the one who said kid first, not me. 

 

It's really sad that I have to analyse my own joke just for you to get the meaning. 

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CatchMeTrolling
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#15

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:14 AM

Oh this is good

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.R3b3L
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#16

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:31 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?

 

babbling? Obviously you don't know what a joke is. 

 

I'm guessing your first post wouldn't have been a joke had i not pointed out how stupid it was in the first place, right?

Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid"

 

I love GTA actually, I've always been kind of a Rockstar fanboy, and I hate the negative reception they get.

 

It's actually quite frightening to me that you didn't know from first sight that it was a joke. I was simply putting it to GTA Forums, in a whimsical way, that heists will more than likely be a little less than what they are in Singleplayer, through the use of a hyperbole. (which is an over-exaggeration). They will more than likely be a multi strand mission, like "The Los Santos Connection" for example. 

 

Now, you still haven't shown me "how stupid" it was. And by looking at the last line of your recent, poorly constructed argument, 

 

" Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid " I can see that you are more than likely a child or new-teen. I mean, you were the one who said kid first, not me. 

 

It's really sad that I have to analyse my own joke just for you to get the meaning. 

 

Well i didnt take your original post as a joke. I guess i stereotyped you as one of the many posters on this site, and if i was wrong, i apologise (but part of me thinks i wasn't wrong, judging by your little picture afterwards)

As for the child - new teen bit, you couldn't be more wrong mate :)


Conici
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#17

Posted 18 May 2014 - 08:35 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?

 

babbling? Obviously you don't know what a joke is. 

 

I'm guessing your first post wouldn't have been a joke had i not pointed out how stupid it was in the first place, right?

Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid"

 

I love GTA actually, I've always been kind of a Rockstar fanboy, and I hate the negative reception they get.

 

It's actually quite frightening to me that you didn't know from first sight that it was a joke. I was simply putting it to GTA Forums, in a whimsical way, that heists will more than likely be a little less than what they are in Singleplayer, through the use of a hyperbole. (which is an over-exaggeration). They will more than likely be a multi strand mission, like "The Los Santos Connection" for example. 

 

Now, you still haven't shown me "how stupid" it was. And by looking at the last line of your recent, poorly constructed argument, 

 

" Stop trying to look like an "i hate GTA and Cockstar coz im on the internet kid " I can see that you are more than likely a child or new-teen. I mean, you were the one who said kid first, not me. 

 

It's really sad that I have to analyse my own joke just for you to get the meaning. 

 

Well i didnt take your original post as a joke. I guess i stereotyped you as one of the many posters on this site, and if i was wrong, i apologise (but part of me thinks i wasn't wrong, judging by your little picture afterwards)

As for the child - new teen bit, you couldn't be more wrong mate :)

 

Dude it was a joke, you're coming off as a total wanker. 

 

 

 

OT: Heist hype has died for me and I couldn't care less 

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TheMcSame
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#18

Posted 18 May 2014 - 09:02 AM

Honestly, I couldn't care what heists will be like. I've been playing the game and having fun without them...


-A much needed snip cutting up the random gargle this guy has been saying because he's getting all pissy about a joke-

 

Well i didnt take your original post as a joke. I guess i stereotyped you as one of the many posters on this site, and if i was wrong, i apologise (but part of me thinks i wasn't wrong, judging by your little picture afterwards)

 

 

As for the child - new teen bit, you couldn't be more wrong mate :)

 

You're making a huge f*cking deal about a joke Jesus Christ. Why are you even on the internet if you can't understand such a simple joke.

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skunkcore
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#19

Posted 18 May 2014 - 09:03 AM

I really hope that when doing heists, if a person dies while doing one they get thrown to free roam and don't get any of the loot. It would be rather pointless to be able to spectate after dying and getting a cut afterwards.

There should be some real risk vs. reward type of thing for heists. I'm still going to play them nonetheless, but that would make them awesome for me.

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ModderX
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#20

Posted 18 May 2014 - 09:08 AM

I agree with EZza's prediction of what heists will be. Even if they're not like that, I'm still not doing them :p
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mr toasterbutt
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#21

Posted 18 May 2014 - 09:29 AM Edited by mr toasterbutt, 18 May 2014 - 09:30 AM.

I really hope that when doing heists, if a person dies while doing one they get thrown to free roam and don't get any of the loot. It would be rather pointless to be able to spectate after dying and getting a cut afterwards.

I hope not. Simply because it's always the ones who barrel in LeeRoy Jenkins style that get themselves killed and get spare lives.


Franceska
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#22

Posted 18 May 2014 - 10:07 AM Edited by Franceska, 18 May 2014 - 10:11 AM.

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-


OjIt8am.png



Heists will never come.
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UltimateAntic
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#23

Posted 18 May 2014 - 10:24 AM

If heists are as great as the singleplayer counterpart then I wouldn't care about payouts as the fun would make up for it. I also would like a player that dies get a lower cut (or nothing at all). It would introduce a great risk-reward.
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babyxenomorph
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#24

Posted 18 May 2014 - 11:04 AM

I can imagine them paying out a little higher than RR and cov (maybe an extra 3-4K) OR they will pay pretty decent with a limit in the number you can do a day/week


cookiemonster14
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#25

Posted 18 May 2014 - 11:11 AM

OP's name says it all.

Cwinny24
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#26

Posted 18 May 2014 - 12:02 PM

No, this is how heists will be.
 

  • Get a van
  • Get in the van
  • Respray the van
  • Take the van to Lester's
  • Get a new van because you compromised Lester
  • Get in the new van
  • Go to the bank
  • Shoot the guard
  • Shoot the other guard
  • Hack the vault
  • Get the cash
  • Lose the cops
  • Go to the hideout
  • Give Lester the cash
 
TOTAL TAKE $10 million
 
Lester's cut: $8 million
Martin's Golf fund: $1 million
Gerald's cut for keeping his mouth shut: $500k
Police Funeral cost: $460K
 
Player 1 cut: 10k
Player 2 cut: 10k
Player 3 cut: 10k
Player 4 cut: 10k

You forgot patricia's menopause cut
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jwyleski
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#27

Posted 18 May 2014 - 12:11 PM

The pay will be horrible and/or heists will come way too late for anyone to need the money anymore.

I'm just hoping they're a lot of fun to play, more than the average "difficult" mission where one guy can just do it all by himself.

 

Actually you can pretty much assume that the pay won't be good. Stupid eternal cash cards.

Rooftop Rumble is probably going to be the number 1 method of earning RP and cash quickly.

 

except RR is no longer quick


MajorVienna
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#28

Posted 18 May 2014 - 12:29 PM Edited by MajorVienna, 18 May 2014 - 12:31 PM.

After completing a heist, there will probably be a condition placed upon those players once they return to the lobby...

In other words, 'laying low', which is basically a disguise for a cooldown...

Also there may even be certain locations in the city you cannot go otherwise you will get an instant 4 star etc... (large blue circle around heist location, like the red ones for gang attacks)

 

The heists should pay around 150k. I know ain't no one doing it for 50k


Takingsides
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#29

Posted 18 May 2014 - 01:05 PM

No, this is how heists will be.

 

  1. Get a van
  2. Get in the van
  3. Respray the van
  4. Take the van to Lester's
  5. Get a new van because you compromised Lester
  6. Get in the new van
  7. Go to the bank
  8. Shoot the guard
  9. Shoot the other guard
  10. Hack the vault
  11. Get the cash
  12. Lose the cops
  13. Go to the hideout
  14. Give Lester the cash

 

TOTAL TAKE $10 million

 

Lester's cut: $8 million

Martin's Golf fund: $1 million

Gerald's cut for keeping his mouth shut: $500k

Police Funeral cost: $460K

 

Player 1 cut: 10k

Player 2 cut: 10k

Player 3 cut: 10k

Player 4 cut: 10k

 

Based on the current climate of GTA Online, the sarcasm here is rich +kudos.

 

 

 

 

 

-Ultra-realistic outlook on the way heists will be-

So i guess you wont be doing them then? Why do you play GTA again...?

 

25e25429ace4eeeb1e308cb0fb2ada14.jpg

And I play GTA because I like the game. I'm not playing it for the heists

 

So judging by the little pic you posted your just trying to sound like an internet badass then with your babbling about how terrible the things in GTA will be, right?

 

 

Dude, belt up!  You need to recognise sarcasm and learn to laugh with it or bite your tongue.  Seriously, there's nothing said that's "trying to be a badass on the internet" it is merely simple sarcasm.

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Franceska
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#30

Posted 18 May 2014 - 01:10 PM

Is it weird if I see Ezza's POV on how heists will be actually coming true and he's secretly a R* developer giving us a preview of the heists while sitting there laughing at how we all think he was being sarcastic? 

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