I like how TC came in asking for advice and only bothered responding to either the poorly thought out or nonsense posts or ones from only one of the choices. Clearly you already had your mind made up, why bother making the thread?
You're right. You caught me out; I already had made my mind up one direction before posting this thread. Unfortunately for you, this thread has then changed my mind. And just because I don't quote someone and directly respond to them, doesn't mean I've ignored people; I actually elected to respond indirectly and generally where I felt it more appropriate. It also doesn't mean that I didn't take advice on board.
Originally I was planning to stick it out a bit longer. It's something that I could overlook, even if I perhaps shouldn't. When it comes to women, I've never been known for making the most sound or logical decisions in my dealings with them.
Well, obviously the sister was going to defend her sibling...but I didn't think she'd be this tacky.
From personal experience, if she made it there walking, she remembers...and the fact that she's taking the "focus on what you did, not what I did to cause that behavior" is the cherry on top.
She's going to make you feel like this is all your fault (yes, even her bringing a guy to your room, that's on you)...
I wasn't expecting it simply because she has known me for so long and is aware of my history (more or less). Or perhaps because she knows, is why bodily harm was threatened, heh.
Great read, gave me a good chuckle. I can only respect your ability to make light of a bad situation (it has been shown in psychology to actually aid in rational decision-making).
My personal mantra in difficult situations is to approach them head on. I believe your plan to talk to her face-to-face is definately the best thing to do.
If she brings up the old 'too drunk to remember' excuse and I was in your shoes, I take her word at face value. My advice for the arguement is to first explain that it is the phenomenon, regardless of intentions and whether she "wasn't herself", that's the problem. Say that it's ridiculous to stop her drinking or be wth her whenever she gets drunk, and so you want someone you can trust both sober and drunk. Despite it being only one encounter, the risk is too great for what you're putting into the relationship.
I don't think she can really come up with a good comeback or guilt-trip when you be logical, honest, and straight forward like that.
We talked last night, and I took this on board when approaching discussion.
Am I the only one thinking you should've double teamed the bitch?
Worth a try anyway.
Edit: and then leave in the morning too obvs.
I've never done that, hand on heart. Maybe if I was drunk enough..
Not knowing her, and purely going on your description, I would say cut your losses. You're not even into her? You gave her a chance because of past experiences, and after a minute of dating she drunkenly brought a guy to your hotel room...? I really don't see why this is even a question.
She seems like a mess. You gave her a chance and this is what happened. Good on you, but move on and try and find a girl you genuinely like? This doesn't seem worth it at all. Unless you're desperate for pussy, I see no reason to hang around.
Cut your losses.
Yeah, not really desperate for pussy. Pretty sure I could get shipped to Antarctica next week, then not have any contact with females for the next two years and survive. Might not be easy but I could do it.
For better or worse, I usually don't cut and run at the first sign of trouble. Or the second, third or fourth... which ultimately leads to 'worse' and not 'better'.
Wouldn't you rather walk away knowing you made the right decision, than not hear her explanation and wonder what it could have been all along?
I don't know this girl or the state of your former or new relationship with her, but she agreed to put the effort back in to giving it another go with you, went away with you etc, there could be 101 reasons why she came back with a guy. She could have been drugged / excessively drunk and he took advantage, she could have accepted a lift home knowing she was in a bad state but didn't have bad intentions (he may of, but luckily you were there when he arrived..) Or she simply could have forgotten you were at the hotel room because she didn't give a sh*t and was about to 'cheat' (are you even officially back together at this point?).
Either way, I'd rather know the explanation than ditch her from your own (or GTAForums) interpretation of a situation without knowing the information. There might be a sincere reason just as much as there might be one you don't really want to hear.
At least see what she has to say before you lose the chance to rekindle completely. A lot of stubbornness can grow on her part from you repeatedly ignoring her and not being adult enough to face her over it. There are two sides to every story. It might not be a good outcome and it could turn out you don't want to pursue it after finding out, but at least be honest enough to say so and then move on knowing you cleared the air and are better off.
Thanks Kirsty; I was perhaps being too 'chill', or passive aggressive if anything and ultimately leaving it much longer would have probably made it worse.
As I mentioned earlier, we met last night and talked. I explained the version of events that I experienced that night and how she came to wake up to Missing ICTC on the Sunday. She seemed genuinely embarrassed about it and maintained the too drunk to remember shtick, which in person was compelling enough to be believable. And promises of it not happening again were offered.
But, thanks to the advice in this thread, I elected to "cut and run". Explained to her that I just wasn't really into her like she wanted me to be, and that there was no future to be had here because that wasn't going to change. Told her that she shouldn't have to stop having a good time (regarding promises made earlier) at my expense and that there will be someone out there who will be much more suitable boyfriend material than I ever would be. She' studying to become a
blood sucking parasitelawyer so she has a bright future ahead of her.
Chloe took it about as well as you could expect anyone to given the circumstances, but it could have been worse. I genuinely feel like I've made the right decision here, not just for me, but her also. Prior to making this thread, I was planning on sticking with it but sometimes you've got to get off the train a station early, instead of riding it till it derails I suppose.
Thanks everyone who participated and offered advice.