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2 Short Poems for you all

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Carbine23
  • Carbine23

    Work Hard & Say It's Easy

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  • Joined: 26 Jun 2007

#1

Posted 01 April 2014 - 04:48 AM

I wanted to write on some topics i was thinking about, and also wanted to get my creativeness flowing again. So i decided to write two short poems to share with you guys. I've been on and off the forums for a long time and this is my first post in writers discussion in FOREVER. I wonder if any of the old guys still lurk around here or remember me. Well, here it goes. 

 

Dove

 

I’ve got the sickest feeling

For that dove in the sky

A shade you can’t fathom

Or understand why

 

A trembling so sudden

It took me by surprise

As I Explored the constellations

And drifted towards her eyes

 

But sadness is a hunger

No matter how hard you try

As you hide behind the curtain

Counting the minutes gone by

 

How living can be cruel

Still I can’t understand why

Why I feel for that dove

Flying away in the sky

 

 

 

The Eviction of Mankind

 

It was the helix of fate

That shook the Earth from her throne

Our descent into darkness

The burden, unknown 

 

Her chaos had been liberated

And prisoners we became

To that insignificant blackness

We thought we could tame

 

For we had no love in our hearts

When love was all we had

And the fool had convinced us

we were abandoned and sad

 

But it was too late to repent

That eternal flame that had grown

And surprised our expectations

Of how evil can be shown

 

When the clock nears twelve

And the sounds of life start to fade

We will remember our purpose

And the vision we laid

 

Because humanity is an illustration

Of the things we could seize

In the art of perception

Or the air that we breathe

 

So a billion tears were shed 

As we grew further from the sun

And we danced on the river

Because our time on Earth had been done

  • universetwisters, MacAshford and AEsob like this

Mick.
  • Mick.

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 21 May 2012
  • None

#2

Posted 01 April 2014 - 11:20 AM

I really liked both of them. I applaud you. :)
  • Carbine23 likes this

Mokrie Dela
  • Mokrie Dela

    Killed by drones.

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 01 May 2009
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  • Most Talented Writer 2015
    Most Talented Writer 2014
    Most Talented Writer 2013
    Best Story/Poem 2013 "The Storm"
    Story/Poem of the Year 2011 "Justice in Flames"
    Story/Poem of the Year 2010 "City of Lies"

#3

Posted 03 April 2014 - 10:02 AM

Nice flow, nice imagery, nice use of language. I especially like this line:

 

"sadness is a hunger"

Two very enjoyable poems. I hope more people check these out and offer some feedback :)
 

  • Carbine23 likes this

Carbine23
  • Carbine23

    Work Hard & Say It's Easy

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  • Joined: 26 Jun 2007

#4

Posted 03 April 2014 - 04:53 PM

Nice flow, nice imagery, nice use of language. I especially like this line:

 

"sadness is a hunger"

Two very enjoyable poems. I hope more people check these out and offer some feedback :)
 

Thanks man! I tried to be as creative as possible haha

  • Mokrie Dela likes this




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