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Welcome To The End

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MacAshford
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#1

Posted 25 March 2014 - 06:58 PM Edited by Vice President, 30 March 2014 - 02:14 AM.

"Welcome To The End"

 

 

It's now fully posted, hope you all enjoy it :D

 

Episodes:

 

 

 

1. UP ALL NIGHT

2. CRASH AND BURN

3. MONEY FOR NOTHING

4. PLANE DANGEROUS

5. BETRAYAL

6. MONSTER

7. WELL, THAT WAS UNEXPECTED

8 & 9. WELCOME TO..THE END

CREDITS:

 

All of Writers Discussion as a whole and as individuals.


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

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#2

Posted 25 March 2014 - 07:25 PM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:47 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x1)

"Up All Night"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FADE IN:

 

EXT. SOUTH BEACH - NIGHT

 

Calm crystal-clear waves crash peacefully against the golden sandy beaches. NATHAN, wearing a yellow t-shirt and black jeans, remains silent whilst sitting on a deck chair staring out to the ocean. He looks to a red plastic cup in the sand beside him and the bottle of vodka at the other side of him. He picks up the bottle and unscrews the lid with one hand whilst picking up the cup with the other hand. He smirks and pours the vodka into the cup. Slowly, NATHAN drinks the vodka. Once finished, he tosses the cup out to sea and frowns.

 

 

 

INT. ROOM 109 - HOTEL ADMIRE - NIGHT

 

NATHAN staggers into a generic hotel room with three identical beds next to each other. KYLEM and LOREN, NATHAN's brother and sister, are both asleep in their beds. NATHAN collapses onto the remaining empty bed, fully clothed and instantly falls to sleep.

 

 

 

INT. CELL BLOCK E - KEEGAN PRISON - NIGHT

 

Sirens blare and inmates howl as seven masked prisoners all wearing almost identical orange jumpsuits dash from prison cell to prison cell releasing more prisoners. Many prison guards lay either unconscious or dead in pools of blood on the floor. The only way of identifying the prisoners is the codenames embroiled into the back of their jumpsuits. LEONE and MASON, who appear to be the leaders of the riot, grab shotguns from the dead guards and shoot the locks on the courtyard doors.

 

 

 

EXT. COURTYARD - KEEGAN PRISON - NIGHT

 

The prisoners dash out into the courtyard where a controlled explosion occurs and blows a hole into the prison wall revealing a jungle swamp, LEONE runs to the hole and faces the now dozens of prisoners. He raises his left arm to the sky.

 

LEONE

Uprising and revolution begins tonight! For too long we have been held captive by these pathetic laws and it's time we show society that we run things now!

MASON stands next to LEONE with her hand raised like his and the prisoners'.

 

MASON

The rose falls gently, brushing against the walls of freedom, seeking power! The Sinned Rose Mafia are free!

 

 

 

EXT. POOLSIDE - HOTEL ADMIRE - DAY

 

KYLEM and LOREN are sitting and gossiping quietly beside the pool, they hear a bang and look up to their room's balcony where less drunk NATHAN appears holding a martini with a blue straw. He takes the olive out and throws it at LOREN's head.

 

LOREN

Oi! Watch it, cheeky c*nt!

 

KYLEM

Oh, that almost hit me too.

 

NATHAN

(laughing drunkly)

Screw you all!

 

NATHAN begins to stumble forward and falls off the balcony, landing a floor down in a thorn bush. KYLEM and LOREN ignore him and continue to mutter to themselves. NATHAN rolls out of the bush and sits on the edge of the pool pulling the thorns out of his body carefully.

 

NATHAN

(whistling)

Waiter! Martini, times two!

 

The WAITER quickly makes the drinks while NATHAN takes his shirt off and dives into the pool. NATHAN does a few spins underwater and rises to the surface. The WAITER spits in the drinks then brings them over to NATHAN, who drinks them both in the space of ten seconds. The WAITER walks away smiling mischievously.

 

LOREN

Oi! Nath! Flash nightclub, me and Kye 'ere got us some tickets for the foam party tonight. Ya comin' or what?

 

NATHAN

Yeah, might aswell!

 

KYLEM

(whispering)

Nathan's coming? Is that a good idea? What with the date and all?

 

LOREN

(whispering)

Why, what's the date?

 

KYLEM

(whispering)

September, the twentieth to be exact. It's been two years since she died and I don't even think he's remembered yet.

 

LOREN

(whispering)

sh*t, the binge drinking, I think that f*cker knows more than he's letting on.

 

KYLEM

(whispering)

Drinking to avoid his problems and drown his sorrows, very much like Nathan, to be honest.

 

NATHAN

Ay! The hell you whispering about?!

 

NATHAN climbs out of the pool and squeezes the water out of his jeans. He walks over to LOREN and KYLEM.

 

KYLEM

We know why you're being like this, Shannon was a great woman, but she's gone now and the alcohol abusing won't bring her back.

 

NATHAN

(sobbing)

I miss her so much, I f*cking do. No wife could ever beat her, she was loving and loyal.

 

KYLEM

Come on, we'll go that nightclub and we'll celebrate her life, celebrate all the lovely things she did for everyone.

 

NATHAN

I love you, bro!

 

NATHAN hugs KYLEM who pulls away.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI POLICE DEPARTMENT - NIGHT

 

BENJAMIN, in his IPD uniform, sits at his desk, looking out of the window at the Neon District, where colourful neon lights glow on the skyscrapers and towers. He hears knocking at his door.

 

BENJAMIN

Come in!

 

KIERAN enters and stands infront of BENJAMIN's desk.

 

KIERAN

I take it you heard...

 

BENJAMIN

I wanna know more.

 

KIERAN

There isn't any more to know, you want the statistics or something?

 

BENJAMIN

Yes! I wanna know exactly what we have to deal with!

 

KIERAN

All fifty prisoners of Cell Block D, released from their cells by the SRM, escaping.

 

BENJAMIN

So essentially they've released the fifty biggest criminals in the history of the city. Kieran, we're in deep sh*t.

 

KIERAN

Exactly, over two hundred guards slaughtered.

 

BENJAMIN

So a lot of paperwork.

 

KIERAN

Fifty criminal masterminds released and hundreds of guards killed isn't even the worst part. The worst part is The Sinned Rose Mafia being reformed.

 

BENJAMIN

Yeah but we caught them five troublemakers pretty fast.

 

KIERAN

Oh no, not five, fifty, they got the rest of the criminals on their side. This is it Benjamin, we're all doomed.

 

BENJAMIN

f*ck! We've got a criminal supergroup to take care of!

 

KIERAN

Still not the worst part, they have one thing on their mind.

 

BENJAMIN

Revenge.

 

 

 

 

 

INT. ROOM 109 - HOTEL ADMIRE - NIGHT

 

NATHAN is alone, combing his hair in the bathroom mirror. A tear runs down his face as he drops the comb. NATHAN punches the mirror and it smashes all over the bathroom floor. He walks over the sharp broken glass to the bedroom where he grabs another bottle of vodka. KYLEM appears from behind a wall.

 

KYLEM

I saw that, it's not your fault.

 

KYLEM walks over to NATHAN and takes the bottle off him.

 

KYLEM

Drinking won't solve the problem, she loved you, you loved her but she's gone and there is no getting her back. She would have wanted you to move on.

 

NATHAN

I guess so...

 

KYLEM

Come on outside, the taxi has been waiting for us.

 

 

 

 

INT. FLASH NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

 

Flashing green laser lights glow down onto the crowded foam-covered dance floor. Extremely energetic rave music blasting from the huge speakers mounted on the wall and the DJ's stage. NATHAN stands at the bar facing the barmaid, JEWEL who gives him a flirty smile and dances towards him.

 

JEWEL

Hey there, what can I get ya?

 

NATHAN

The strongest drink you got, please.

 

JEWEL

Sure thing, buddy.

 

JEWEL turns around to make NATHAN's drink while he quietly leans over and eats an olive out of the bowl. JEWEL hands the bright orange cocktail to NATHAN who drinks it wildly, spilling most of it down his blue shirt.

 

NATHAN

One more.

 

JEWEL

What's troubling you, buddy?

 

NATHAN

Listen, I'm deep into a grieving process here, can you just get me a drink?

 

JEWEL

Sometimes, it's better to talk. I'm on a break in a few minutes, why don't you follow me and we can have a quick chat. I hate seeing people upset.

 

NATHAN

Eh, might aswell. But first, drink please.

 

JEWEL smiles and giggles quietly as NATHAN wipes the cocktail off his shirt.

 

 

 

 

INT. ROOFTOP - SOUL TOWER - NIGHT

 

MASON, now unmasked is giving another speech atop the roof of the highest skyscraper. The dozens of criminals watch her and chant her name.

 

MASON

Alright, in the last twenty-four hours, we escaped prison and captured this here skyscraper as our HQ but still...that's not enough for us. Once again, we thrive for more, money is the key to our success. What better way than to steal it from under the noses of our good for nothing police force.

 

LEONE comes over, and stands beside MASON.

 

LEONE

I've had our less wanted allies take a look around town and case a few joints. Already, we're planning going to assault a nightclub and stealing all valuables. Sinned Rose Mafia will rise!

 

 

 

 

EXT. FLASH NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and JEWEL are stood against the wall of the nightclub smoking cigarettes, the moonlight shining down on them.

 

JEWEL

So, you gonna talk to me or what?

 

NATHAN

Sorry, I don't really know where to start. My wife died two years ago in a terrorist attack, she threw herself over the bomb to save hundreds of lives.

 

JEWEL

I'm...I'm sorry to hear that.

 

NATHAN

I still think about her every day, back in Ireland, she's was a modern day hero.

 

JEWEL

Irish, I thought I knew you're accent. I'm have a brother from there myself, the DJ, Alex. Infact, my mother herself was from there.

 

NATHAN

Sure is a lovely country.

 

JEWEL

I've never been myself, I was born right here in Ibarazi City.

 

NATHAN

You mentioned your brother?

 

JEWEL

Oh yeah, he lives with me. He's the DJ in the club now.

 

NATHAN

I'm actually here with my brother, and my sister.

 

JEWEL

You're a close family?

 

NATHAN

Yeah, sort of.

 

JEWEL

Family are what you need most around here, this is a tough city and having someone to back you up is essential.

 

NATHAN

I guess so, the thing is, my family cause more trouble than they solve.

 

JEWEL

And that's normal. Not everyone's a saint.

 

NATHAN

But everyone's a sinner.

 

JEWEL

True.

 

JEWEL looks down at her watch and frowns.

 

NATHAN

Break's over?

 

JEWEL

Sadly, it's been great talking to you -

 

NATHAN

-Nathan.

 

JEWEL

Nathan, sweet name. I'm Jewel, we should talk again.

 

JEWEL and NATHAN toss their cigarettes at the floor and walk back inside the nightclub.

 

 

 

 

INT. FLASH NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

 

Up on the DJ area, ALEX (JEWEL's brother, ALEX) is blasting a setlist of high energy music. The crowd goes wild, dancing on each other as more foam squirts from foam cannons mounted on the ceiling. LOREN dances against a man who tries to kiss her but is unsuccessful as she pushes him away. ALEX drops the bass and the crowd start to jump up and down with their hands in the air. Meanwhile on the other side of the room at the bar, KYLEM sits at the bar drinking one of the orange cocktails in a depressive silence. NATHAN and JEWEL walk in, laughing with each other, JEWEL takes her place behind the bar while NATHAN takes a seat next to KYLEM.

 

NATHAN

You were so right about coming out tonight.

 

KYLEM

Oh?

 

NATHAN

I met this girl, over there.

 

NATHAN and KYLEM look at JEWEL who winks at them.

 

KYLEM

Well she's sure pretty.

 

NATHAN

I know, I mean she's perfect.

 

KYLEM

Strange how you can go from being so depressed to so happy instantly.

 

NATHAN

Looks like I passed it all to you, sup?

 

KYLEM

It's Loren, she's been dancing on dozens of men tonight. I think she's turning into a bit of a slut.

 

NATHAN

I mean who can really blame her, she wants to rebel and have some fun. This is a holiday after all.

 

KYLEM

Fair enough, although this has to stop when we get home. She's an embarrassment to the MacCarthy family name.

 

NATHAN

Whatever.

 

The nightclub's glass ceiling shatters into thousands of sharp shards. Smoke fills the room and gunshots are heard mixed in with the crowds screams. Dozens of members of the Sinned Rose Mafia, all armed with assault rifles gun down the crowd. NATHAN and KYLEM duck down and run past the mafia towards LOREN who is hiding with ALEX behind a pile of dead bodies. The mafia shoot more civilians and search the bar area. LEONE and MASON dash in, wearing their signature red masks.

 

LEONE

(to the alive civilians)

Move and I'll kill you!

 

 JEWEL runs out of the nightclub, signalling NATHAN, KYLEM, LOREN and ALEX to follow. ALEX and LOREN follow her out. NATHAN and KYLEM stand, in a shocked state. LEONE spots KYLEM and shoots him in the stomach. LEONE tries to shoot NATHAN but misses. MASON turns around and sees NATHAN holding KYLEM's gunshot wound and trying to escape. LEONE points his gun up at NATHAN's head, ready to pull the trigger but MASON pushes his hand down.

 

MASON

Let them go.

 

LEONE

No witnesses policy?!

 

MASON

Make an exception.

 

 

 

 

EXT. SOUTH BEACH - NIGHT

 

NATHAN, JEWEL, ALEX, LOREN and KYLEM run along the beach. KYLEM running slightly slower and covered in blood. They stop at a pier and run towards a fishing boat docked. They climb on and NATHAN tries starts the boat while the rest of them sit on the seats.

 

KYLEM

(clutching his gunshot wound)

f*ck! It hurts so much!

 

NATHAN

Damn it, could this engine be any sh*ttier?!

 

JEWEL

Just hurry, you're brother is bleeding out pretty fast.

 

NATHAN punches the boat's ignition and it starts up, puffing thick, black smoke out of the exhaust. The boat begins to speed forward away from the pier and towards the harbour, a few miles north.

 

 

 

 

INT. FLASH NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

 

LEONE and MASON are stood in the destroyed nightclub, surrounded by a dozen armed police offices. They turn back to back and open fire at the police, killing them all without themselves being injured. Most of the Sinned Rose Mafia have fled and the rest have been killed by the police.

 

LEONE

Maybe not the most successful plan.

 

MASON

A take of thirty-two thousand dollars is surely an achievement.

 

LEONE

Losing all of our members isn't.

 

MASON

They'll be back!

 

LEONE

(pointing at the dead bodies)

And them ones?

 

MASON

Not them ones.

 

LEONE

Now we just have to ask ourselves, what's next?

 

MASON

You know Leone, I don't really know. Although I'm not going to stand around and be captured by the police force.

 

LEONE

Killing and pillaging isn't laying low.

 

MASON

If we stop, we'll be forgotten? Being forgotten isn't an instant get-out-of-jail-free card.

 

LEONE

It's either lay low or lay on the electric chair, make your choice!

 

LEONE walks away from MASON who places her hands on her head.

 

 

 

 

EXT. DICKINSON MEMORIAL HARBOUR - NIGHT

 

NATHAN docks the boat as LOREN and ALEX stare blankly in a shocked state. JEWEL continues to squeeze ALEX's jacket around KYLEM's gunshot wound.

 

JEWEL

Nathan, seriously, hurry! We need to get your brother to a hospital!

 

KYLEM

My name is Kylem, for future reference.

 

NATHAN

Leave the introductions for later, we're ready.

 

The boat comes to a stop at a small dock leading to a brightly-lit street. The crew get off the boat and sprint along the dock onto the street.

 

 

 

 

EXT. MIDTOWN - NIGHT

 

KYLEM

(in a sarcastic pain-filled voice)

Oh, you took us to f*cking Monthly Midtown Madness.

 

NATHAN

A monthly what?!

 

KYLEM

Uh, I saw it in the tour guide. Basically, it's a huge parade festival held at midnight in the Midtown theatre district. Oh and I'm kinda bleeding out so I guess now's the time to prance around in pathetic outfits on a pink float.

 

JEWEL

If we can get on a float, Kylem could preserve his energy until we got to a hospital.

 

NATHAN looks out to the huge parade of costumed dancers on various floats going past the range of theatres.

 

KYLEM

But how exactly would we get on a float?

 

NATHAN

I think I have an idea!

 

JEWEL

Which is?!

 

NATHAN

They're holding a parade for theatres, musicals are in theatres.

 

KYLEM

No, no, no, no, no, don't even think of it!

 

NATHAN

It's either that or you pass out.

 

KYLEM

Fine, but what songs do you know?

 

NATHAN

A ton.

 

JEWEL

I don't get it, what's going on here?

 

NATHAN

(clicking his fingers in Loren's face)

Loren, I need your help, come on, we're ok, we're alive.

 

LOREN

If we do this then I'm taking the lead.

 

NATHAN

Bite me!

 

NATHAN and LOREN walk through a crowded pavement to a yellow float passing by with only one person on it, they dive onto it. NATHAN snatches the microphone from the float's owner while LOREN hits the floats brake stick. The people watching the parade shout abuse at NATHAN and LOREN until LOREN plugs her MP3 Player into the speakers.

 

NATHAN

"You Make My Dreams Come True", instrumental.

 

LOREN obeys and the song begins to play, she takes her place next to NATHAN who kicks the float owner off the float. The crowd throw food at NATHAN and LOREN wildly.

 

NATHAN

(singing)

What I want you've got, it might be hard to handle.

 

LOREN

(singing)

Like the flame that burns the candle.

 

NATHAN and LOREN

(singing)

The candle feeds the flame.

 

LOREN

(singing)

What I've got's full stock, of thoughts and dreams that scatter.

 

NATHAN

(singing)

You pull them all together.

 

LOREN and NATHAN

(singing)

And how I can't explain!

 

NATHAN

(singing)

Well, well you. You make my dreams come true.

 

LOREN

(singing)

Well, well, well you. You make my dreams come true.

 

The crowd stop throwing food and begin to cheer loudly. JEWEL and ALEX climb on to the float and stand beside LOREN and NATHAN. KYLEM sits behind them holding his wound.

 

JEWEL

(singing)

On a night when bad dreams become a screamer.

 

ALEX

(singing)

When they're messing with the dreamer.

 

JEWEL and ALEX

(singing)

I can laugh it in the face!

 

NATHAN and ALEX

(singing)

Twist and shout my way out and wrap yourself around me.

 

JEWEL and LOREN

(singing)

'Cause I ain't the way you found me, and I'll never be the same!

 

NATHAN and ALEX

(singing)

Well, well you. You make my dreams come true.

 

LOREN and JEWEL

(singing)

Well, well, well you. You make my dreams come true.

 

NATHAN and ALEX

(singing)

Listen to this!

 

LOREN and JEWEL

(singing)

I'm down on my daydream, oh, that sleepwalk should be over by now, I know.

 

The song finishes and the crowd applaud the performance. NATHAN, LOREN, JEWEL and ALEX bow while KYLEM hits the acceleration stick and the float speeds forward.

 

 

 

 

EXT. BENJAMIN'S COUNTRYSIDE MANSION - NIGHT

 

KIERAN sits inside a green sports car, he goes through the open gate to the mansion's porch where he beeps his horn. BENJAMIN, wearing a black suit exits the house and gets into the passenger seat of the car.

 

KIERAN

Even our best squad couldn't control it.

 

BENJAMIN

Take me there, now!

 

KIERAN

But, they'll have gone.

 

BENJAMIN

Go!

 

KIERAN reverses out of the entrance and speeds along the long country roads surrounded by fields of emptiness.

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. UPPER MIDTOWN - NIGHT

 

The green sports car continues to speed through the empty night traffic, NATHAN and the crew drive past the green sports car on the yellow float.

 

BENJAMIN

(looking at the float situation)

What?! The?! f*ck?!

 

KIERAN

I know right?!

 

BENJAMIN

Are we seeing things or did a f*cking yellow parade float just pass us, with half a dozen idiots trying to control it.

 

KIERAN

Meh, weirder things have happened.

 

 

 

 

INT. OPERATING ROOM - IBARAZI CITY HOSPITAL - NIGHT

 

The doctors rush frantically around the bed KYLEM lays on, covered in blood. One of the doctors, DR CHRIS LANCASTER, takes a pair of grabbers off the table and pulls the bullet out of KYLEM's stomach. KYLEM screams in pain.

 

 

 

 

EXT. HOTEL ADMIRE - NIGHT

 

LEONE and MASON stand, still masked outside the hotel, holding molotovs.

 

MASON

Seriously, what are we doing here?

 

LEONE

This is where your little witnesses are staying.

 

MASON

From the nightclub?

 

LEONE

You let them free, now we have to fix that.

 

MASON

Burning down the hotel just for them?

 

LEONE

Just?! The hell happened to you? You gone soft or something!?

 

MASON

I am your leader, Leone. I say we let them free, they can spread the word of our terror.

 

LEONE

That makes no sense.

 

MASON

It does, we leave them and it gives us a reputation.

 

LEONE

(throwing the molotov through on open balcony)

Yeah, a reputation of being to afraid to waste a few witnesses.

 

MASON

(annoyed and punching Leone in the face)

You f*cking idiot, you set the place on fire!

 

LEONE

Why do you care so much?!

 

MASON

I don't know, I just got a strange feeling.

 

LEONE

How do you know they weren't going to rob the nightclub?!

 

MASON

Because that was us!

 

LEONE

Ugh, what happened to you?

 

MASON

I could ask the same, fifteen minutes ago, you were saying how we should lay low.

 

The whole hotel bursts into flames as LEONE smiles and leads MASON away.

 

 

 

 

INT. WAITING ROOM - IBARAZI CITY HOSPITAL - NIGHT

 

LOREN, NATHAN, JEWEL and ALEX sit in the hospital's dark waiting room.

 

NATHAN

Can I just say, I think we were awesome at the parade.

 

JEWEL

Oh my, it was so cringe-worthy. Like I just wanted to puke.

 

NATHAN

(laughing)

Wasn't my best idea but I guess it worked.

 

ALEX

(smiling)

We're all quite alike, our siblings are the only things we have in this city.

 

NATHAN

No, not now. We all have each other, we've been through all of this tonight and we need to stick together.

 

JEWEL

Haha, awww, that's so cute.

 

ALEX

But true, our rent is way over due and now you've lost your job.

 

JEWEL

Oh f*ck, my job!

 

ALEX

My equipment got destroyed too.

 

LOREN

Ay, ya can stay in 'r hotel room, if ya want.

 

NATHAN

Yeah, we've got it for a while 'til we go home.

 

JEWEL

(smiling)

Sure, thanks guys.

 

NATHAN

Damn, it's boring in here, I think the alcohol's wearing off.

 

NATHAN stands up and puts the TV on. The news channel comes on showing Hotel Admire on fire. NATHAN quickly turns the TV off.

 

NATHAN

Uh, f*ck. I guess me, Loren and Kye are homeless and broke too.

 

ALEX

Wait, I know a place where nobody goes.

 

 

 

 

INT. FLASH NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT

 

The nightclub is pitch black inside and the dead bodies have been cleared up although the blood stains remain. KIERAN and BENJAMIN walk around it seperately.

 

BENJAMIN

It's gotta be that mafia.

 

KIERAN

Just think, if we'd sent more security to Soul Tower, they'd have never become this strong.

 

BENJAMIN

They have their HQ for a reason, and atleast we know where it is. Proof is what we need now and we can get them all fried.

 

KIERAN

Don't we have proof?

 

BENJAMIN

Not enough, but the force are working on it. All we can do now is wait for the forensic team to do their jobs.

 

KIERAN

So why are we here?

 

BENJAMIN

Two bodies were missing from here tonight, excluding customers. Alex Pepper and Jewel Pepper, brother and sister, the DJ and the barmaid. I think they'll have information.

 

KIERAN

Even if they don't, we'll have witnesses. What's their address?

 

BENJAMIN

Three-oh-three Morgana Heights. We're gonna pay them a visit in the morning, let them calm a bit first.

 

INT. WAITING ROOM - IBARAZI CITY HOSPITAL - SUNRISE

 

KYLEM walks into the waiting room where NATHAN, LOREN, ALEX and JEWEL sit, staring at him.

 

KYLEM

I'm fine, Doctor Lancaster said the bullet didn't do much damage at all, the heavy leather jacket I was wearing slowed it down so much that it only just went in. So I should be fully healed in just a few days.

 

NATHAN

Great, bro, but we have some bad news.

 

LOREN

f*ckin' hotel got toasted while we was out!

 

ALEX

But don't worry, I know a place we can stay.


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

    /x/ lurker

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 29 Jun 2013
  • United-Nations

#3

Posted 25 March 2014 - 07:33 PM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:47 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x2)

"Crash and Burn"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FADE IN:

 

EXT. FLEET AVENUE - EARLY MORNING

 

ALEX leads NATHAN, JEWEL, LOREN and KYLE along a sidewalk to 102 Fleet Avenue, he leads them up the steps and through the already slightly open door.

 

ALEX

(smiling)

Ayyyyy, this is the place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. HALLWAY - 102 FLEET AVENUE - EARLY MORNING

 

ALEX, NATHAN, JEWEL, LOREN and KYLE are stood in the dark hallway. ALEX slams the door and hits the lightswitch. The light flickers then powers up, showing the filthy hallway in all it's unglory.

 

NATHAN

Damn, where'd you find this place? Homes from hell magazine?

 

ALEX

I used to run a pool cleaning business, the house's owner passed away and the house was never sold.

 

NATHAN

Explains a lot...

 

ALEX

(pointing to the dusty staircase)

There's three rooms upstairs. Me and Jewel can stay in one. Loren, you and Kylem can stay in one. Nathan, I guess you got one to yourself.

 

NATHAN

Sweet!

 

ALEX

(kicking an old wooden door down)

And this right here is the living room and kitchen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN - 102 FLEET AVENUE - MORNING

 

The room is absolutely disgusting, pizza boxes and dust cover the room. Rats run across the floor, in-between LOREN's legs. She lets out a loud squeal. NATHAN, ALEX, JEWEL and KYLEM look at her.

 

ALEX

Yeah, this place's gonna need some work.

 

JEWEL

Speaking of work, I need a new job. I'm going down to that new bar downtown, wanna come Loren?

 

LOREN

f*ckin' might aswell.

 

JEWEL

While we're out, you boys can fix this place up and maybe think about your own career paths 'cause we won't last long in this city if we're broke.

 

NATHAN

Aw, hell no!

 

ALEX

(whispering to NATHAN)

Go along with it, I need a word with you alone.

 

NATHAN

Uh sure, consider it taken care of.

 

JEWEL

(pointing violently at ALEX)

Don't you get him into no trouble!

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. FLOOR 3 - MORGANA HEIGHTS - DAY

 

BENJAMIN stands facing KEVIN, the landlord, who is walking up the staircase. KEVIN stops infront of BENJAMIN.

 

BENJAMIN

Kevin Baxter?

 

KEVIN

What's it ta' you?

 

BENJAMIN

I need access to Three-Oh-Three.

 

KEVIN

Not gonna happen, sorry.

 

BENJAMIN takes his badge out of his jacket and holds it in KEVIN's face.

 

KEVIN

(sarcastically)

Feds, I never would have guessed. The answer is still no, it's empty.

 

BENJAMIN

No, my intelligence tells me that both Jewel and Alex Pepper live there. After recent...classified...events, I need to talk to them.

 

KEVIN

Listen, cop, I ain't seen them since yesterday. Not like they even pay their rent either.

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE- IBARAZI POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY

 

BENJAMIN and KIERAN sit on top of BENJAMIN's desk looking out at the Neon District, more specifically, Soul Tower.

 

KIERAN

f*ckers, I can't believe they got away with that.

 

BENJAMIN

Who said they got away with anything? Sure the forensics didn't work. Sure the survivors are miss-

 

KIERAN

-dead.

 

BENJAMIN

Not for sure, there's no bodies.

 

KIERAN

Have you heard yourself? The Sinned Rose would track them down and crucify them, no witnesses, they never left them before.

 

BENJAMIN

Listen to me, Kieran. I KNOW The Peppers are alive somewhere and while you sit around doing nothing, I'm going to track them down.

 

INT. BAR - QUIK BAR - DAY

 

JEWEL and LOREN are sat at the empty bar waiting for OLLY, the bartender to notice them. He does and runs over.

 

OLLY

What can I get 'cha?

 

JEWEL

Two Martini's and a job please?

 

OLLY

Ha, a job, in this place? Open a whole week and you're the only customers.

 

LOREN

Oi, f*ckin' listen mate. Me an' her need a f*ckin' job so stop bein' a dickhead and give us one.

 

OLLY

Calm the language down, girl. Like I said, no customers means no jobs.

 

LOREN

I'll f*ckin' get customers, stop worryin'.

 

OLLY

Aight, if you can stop swearing, and you get some business here... then you and your friend can work here.

 

LOREN

(whispering to JEWEL)

I'm not as stupid as I let on, intimidation is the key to success.

 

OLLY

So what's your names?

 

LOREN

Loren MacCarthy.

 

JEWEL

(shaking OLLY's hand)

I'm Jewel Pepper, nice to meet you, sir.1

 

OLLY

(smiling)

Oliver Parker, but most people call me Olly.

 

JEWEL

Well, Olly, when's our first shift?

 

OLLY

I got one later on tonight, you prove you can get customers in, you can run this joint.

 

LOREN

Love to stay and chat but we got things to f*ckin' do.

 

LOREN and JEWEL walk out of Quik Bar just as BENJAMIN. He takes a seat at the bar and OLLY comes over to him.

 

OLLY

What can I get 'cha, buddy?

 

BENJAMIN

Pint of lager please.

 

OLLY starts to pour BENJAMIN a glass of lager.

 

OLLY

Tough day?

 

BENJAMIN

One of the toughest, keep this between us, but I'm looking for a girl, her name's Jewel Pepper. Ever heard of her?

 

OLLY nervously scratches his face as the lager glass begins to overflow.

 

OLLY

(nervously)

Uh, no, never, never heard of her. You know what she looks like?

 

BENJAMIN

I wouldn't know her if I fell over her. Still I need to protect her, there are people after her, bad people.

 

OLLY

Oh that's a shame, is she...innocent?

 

BENJAMIN

A witness. Say, promise me you won't speak of this conversation.

 

OLLY

Uh sure, you know, bartender-customer confidentiality.

 

BENJAMIN

Thanks for understanding.

 

OLLY notices the overflowing glass and stops pouring, the lager has now covered his floor. He hands the glass to BENJAMIN who starts to drink it.

 

OLLY

Here ya go, Mr -

 

BENJAMIN

-Chief Benjamin Diamond of the Ibarazi Police Department.

 

OLLY

Wow, nice job. I'm Oliver Parker

 

BENJAMIN

Nice job? Kid, you don't wanna known what I have to deal with each day.

 

INT. ROOFTOP - SOUL TOWER - DAY

 

A black helicopter lands gently on the helipad, the rooftop is quiet, no guards, perfect place for a uninterrupted chat. MASON and LEONE, unmasked, step out of the helicopter. The pilot flies it away quickly. MASON looks LEONE directly in the eyes.

 

MASON

(calmly)

You know Benjamin is trying to arrest us?

 

LEONE

He wants us dead, legally.

 

MASON

Still sure you want to be part of this organization? I wouldn't mind if you decided to leave. I can handle thi-

 

LEONE

(frowning)

-We can handle this. Mason, I promised I would be loyal to the SRM and I am. My loyalty was what made you promote me, remember? You and me, we're equal now. If it wasn't for me, the SRM would be dead. If it wasn't for you the SRM would be dead. Sticking together is the goal, if we can't look out for each other, what can we do?

 

MASON leans in and tries to kiss LEONE but he backs away, shocked.

 

LEONE

Mason?! What are you doing?!

 

MASON

(running away)

I'm so sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN - 102 FLEET AVENUE - DAY

 

ALEX and NATHAN are in the living room, which is a lot tidier now. NATHAN sits down on the sofa and ALEX sits next to him, suspiciously.

 

ALEX

Listen, I know this guy, he's a farmer...

 

NATHAN

...go on...

 

ALEX

(waving his hands)

...a farmer.

 

NATHAN

(creeped out)

Are you having some sort of fit?

 

ALEX

He grows drugs!

 

NATHAN

Whoa, quiet down, Kylem's in bed. So what's the deal with this farmer?

 

ALEX

Well he grows something called Glowstone, it's a legal drug but the Ibarazi Police Department are trying their best to make it illegal. The corrupt cops steal it to sell themselves and try to bust the farmer.

 

NATHAN

I've never heard of Glowstone before.

 

ALEX

It's strictly made in Ibarazi City but the farmer has an illusive contact named Mr Chase from abroad that wants to make it global. This could be a billion dollar industry.

 

NATHAN

How does Glowstone work?

 

ALEX

Well, that's a great question. It's mostly smoked but it can be taken in any form, it gets the user on a party-like high. The real problem is this farmer, Eddie Glowstone, the discoverer of the drug, he needs some help. Eddie promised Mr Chase that he would deliver two vans to Mr Chase's hangar at the airport. Eddie is making a load of money off this, he needs two drivers, you know what I'm saying?

 

NATHAN

But how much would we be paid?

 

ALEX

Five thousand each.

 

NATHAN

I'm in.

 

ALEX

Keep this our secret.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. MIDTOWN STREETS - SUNSET

 

KIERAN sits in his signature green sports car, beside the three other sports cars waiting for the signal. LEONE is in one of the other sports cars, a red one. A woman in tight leather clothing shoots a starting pistol, the cars zoom past her. KIERAN takes the lead, speeding through the city streets with LEONE and the other racers not far behind him. A CCTV camera spots the race and flashes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. QUIK BAR - SUNSET

 

BENJAMIN is sat in his grey truck outside the bar. His police radio comes on.

 

RADIO

(female voice)

Illegal street race taking place in Midtown, can all nearby units deal with the situation.

 

BENJAMIN turns on his siren and speeds towards Midtown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. MIDTOWN STREETS - SUNSET

 

KIERAN is still in the lead, with LEONE slightly behind. BENJAMIN appears behind the racers. KIERAN notices BENJAMIN and quickly drifts down a back alley.

 

KIERAN

(stopping and bashing his head on the steering wheel)

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, I hope he didn't see me.

 

BENJAMIN is still chasing LEONE and the two other racers, luckily, he didn't see KIERAN's car. The racers drift around a sharp corner, BENJAMIN tries to do the same but his truck spins and tips over, bursting into flames.

 

BENJAMIN

(bashing the window)

sh*t! Help!

 

Meanwhile, down the road, KIERAN hears the explosion and drives over. He sees BENJAMIN trapped in the burning truck. He dives out of the sports car and drags BENJAMIN out of the truck. BENJAMIN only has minor cuts and bruises.

 

KIERAN

Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. ASKLEY FARM - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and ALEX are helping EDDIE load up the vans.

 

EDDIE

Now you gotta park the vans up in the hangar, come back here then I'll pay you what you need.

 

ALEX and NATHAN get in the vans and begin to drive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. HANGAR 57 - IBARAZI AIRPORT - NIGHT

 

ALEX and NATHAN park the vans in the hangar, getting nasty looks from Mr Chase's henchmen. The henchmen start to unload the Glowstone packages into a yellow private jet. ALEX and NATHAN walk out of the hangar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. MAIN ROOM - QUIK BAR - NIGHT

 

LOREN and JEWEL are stood behind the bar, on their first shift. Quik is empty, no customers. OLLY walks in and approaches the girls.

 

OLLY

I forgot to mention it but uh, a cop came in here earlier. He was looking for you, Jewel.

 

JEWEL

What?!

 

OLLY

Yeah he said you're a witness and some bad people are after you.

 

JEWEL

A witness of what exactly?

 

OLLY

He didn't say, he just said he needs to protect you. I told him I didn't know you.

 

JEWEL

Thanks, I need to find out who this cop is and why who's after me.

 

OLLY

The cop is Ben Diamond, the police chief. Let's be serious, a police chief wouldn't be after you if you weren't in danger.

 

JEWEL

I'll see him after work.

 

OLLY

You might aswell go now, this place isn't worth keeping open today.

 

LOREN

Hold that thought, I got on to them social networks and posted about the huge opening tonight.

 

OLLY

Huge opening?

 

LOREN

Yeah, the Quik Bar grand opening, karaoke and everything.

 

OLLY

We don't have a karaoke machine?

 

LOREN

(pointing at the karaoke machine in the corner of the room)

Uh, double check that dickhead.

 

OLLY

(looking at the entrance of the bar where dozens of customers are now entering)

Holy sh*t?! Well done, girls!

 

LOREN and JEWEL smile as OLLY walks away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. THE OFFICE - SOUL TOWER - NIGHT

 

MASON and LEONE  are in their office, stood looking out over the glowing, bright Neon District.

 

MASON

I'm so sorry about earlier.

 

LEONE

It's fine, it's my fault, I led you on.

 

MASON

(smiling)

We have new problems, The Delanergas Family heard about our little assault on the nightclub. They say it was their territory and we owe them big.

 

LEONE

What did you say?

 

MASON

I told them to go f*ck themselves.

 

LEONE

So another turf war?  

 

MASON

It's not a turf war if we control the city.

 

LEONE

We the only thing we control so far is this tower.

 

MASON

So far... it's time to expand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. ASKLEY FARM - NIGHT

 

ALEX and NATHAN walk down the pathway to the barn where EDDIE is putting Glowstone into packages. EDDIE looks up and hands them each a wad of cash.

 

EDDIE

Five thousand dollars each, I need more help soon, come back.

 

FADE OUT:


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

    /x/ lurker

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 29 Jun 2013
  • United-Nations

#4

Posted 25 March 2014 - 07:39 PM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:48 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x3)

"Money For Nothing"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FADE IN]

 

INT. NATHAN'S ROOM - 102 FLEET AVENUE - DAY

 

NATHAN is lay on his bed, ALEX barges in and holding his five thousand dollars in stacks, he starts to make it rain dollars over NATHAN.

 

NATHAN

(looking at the hundreds of fifty dollar notes whizzing around above him)

What the f*ck are you doing?!

 

ALEX

Haha, ease up Nath. One hour's work got us this. Imagine making ten times this a day, guarenteed.

 

NATHAN

(watching the notes land on the bed and the floor)

Are you going to pick them up?

 

ALEX

Guess where we're going today?

 

NATHAN

(closing his eyes)

Back to sleep?

 

ALEX

(smirking)

No time to sleep, we gotta get you looking fresh for our business meetings.

 

NATHAN

(opening his eyes)

When did we get a business?

 

ALEX

(winking)

You know what I mean, silly. Crime pays, 'erybody knows that...and it's our payday.

 

NATHAN

I'm not a criminal.

 

ALEX

Keep believing this, we're all criminals inside. We try to keep our rebellious thoughts locked away but they fight their way through. Get up and help me pick this money up.

 

INT. LOREN AND KYLEMS' ROOM - 102 FLEET AVENUE - DAY

 

LOREN and JEWEL are sat on LOREN's bed.

LOREN

How hot is Oliver?

 

JEWEL

Yeah, kinda.

 

LOREN

Kinda?

 

JEWEL

I like someone else.

 

LOREN

Who?

 

JEWEL

Promise you won't tell him.

 

LOREN

f*ckin' who?

 

JEWEL

Nathan.

 

LOREN

My dickhead brother, Nathan?

 

JEWEL

He's sweet and cute.

 

LOREN

(laughing)

You're f*ckin' jokin'?

 

JEWEL

No, I like him.

 

LOREN

Ha, okay. I'd say ask him out but he's been upset lately. It's been like two years since his wife died, he's quite emotionally unstable right now. Give it a week or so and see if you still like him.

 

JEWEL

Thanks, you're a good friend, Loren. I know we've only been friends for a few days but the events have brought us so close, it feels like we've been friends forever.

 

LOREN

Let's hope we stay like this forever.

 

JEWEL

(laughing)

I'd drink to that but there's no alcohol.

 

LOREN

(pulling a bottle of vodka out from under her pillow)

I swiped this from the bar.

 

JEWEL

(cheering)

Woo, party on!

 

LOREN

Don't be drinking too much if you wanna see that Benjamin guy later.

 

INT. FRESH CLOTHING - DAY

 

ALEX sits on a bench in the clothing store as NATHAN emerges from the changing room wearing a colourful Hawaiaan shirt and a pair of blue floral surf shorts.

 

NATHAN

(annoyed)

It's the middle of summer.

 

ALEX

But you look great and it's like thirty degrees outside.

 

NATHAN

Ugh, whatever.

 

NATHAN walks back into the changing room. ALEX's phone rings, he answers it.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Hello?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Alex.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Leone, you little f*cker. I know it was you behind sh*t at Flash. People died, you tried to kill me, I know you did.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

No Alex, I let you go. I killed the others.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Well me and Jewel weren't the only ones who got away.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Oh I know, a few others got away but me and Mason decided to drop by their hotel.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

You burnt the hotel too? f*ck, Leone, what the sh*t?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

The witnesses are dead, there are no problems.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Guess again, the witnesses aren't dead. You're not going to kill them, they're my friends.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Alex, where are they?! Tell me before I blow your f*cking head off!

 

ALEX

(to phone)

I'm not telling you anything, Leone. The witnesses are trustworthy, they won't say a thing. Just leave them alone. Things were great before you made your f*cking great escape from Keegan.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Do I have your word?

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Did our friendship mean nothing?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

As long as they stay quiet, they stay alive. Say, you looking for a job?

 

ALEX

(to phone)

I'm not planning on going back criminal mastermind anytime soon but any small stuff you got, throw it my way. Me and Nathan can handle a few little jobs.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Nathan? One of the witnesses?


ALEX

(to phone)

I think he has potential, the guy is amazingly calm in crazy situations. I've persuaded him to work with me on small-time jobs.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Now the Sinned Rose are returning, I gotta tax any money you make from crime in the Neon District.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

I'm not going anywhere near the Neon District and f*ck you, you're not having none of my money.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Ha, same old Alex. I'll be seeing you soon, old friend.

 

ALEX ends the call and puts his phone away, NATHAN comes out of the changing room wearing his normal clothes.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY

 

BENJAMIN is sat at his desk, with a few cuts and bruises on himself. KIERAN walks in, holding two cups of coffee, he gives one to BENJAMIN and keeps one for himself.

 

BENJAMIN

It's great to be back on the cases.

 

KIERAN

You've only been off for a day.

 

BENJAMIN

Not the point, if I slack off, this city will fall to pieces. So we got a couple of issues here; finding Jewel and Alex Pepper, arresting the prisoners that escaped and maybe a crackdown on street racing.

 

KIERAN

I still think the Peppers are dead.

 

BENJAMIN

You know what? Fine. I'll have search parties scan the whole f*cking city. I know they're alive and I can prove it.

 

INT. STARTER PISTOL WEAPON STORE - DAY

 

ALEX and NATHAN are looking at pistols in display cases along a cracking brick wall.

 

ALEX

Sooooooooooo, see anything you like?

 

NATHAN

I don't want a gun.

 

ALEX

Maybe so, but you need one.

 

NATHAN

I don't need a gun.

 

ALEX

You need protection, meaning that you need a gun.

 

NATHAN

I don't need a gun.

 

ALEX

Imagine you're back in the nightclub but you had a gun, you could have saved not just us but dozens of innocent people.

 

NATHAN

I don't need a gun.

 

ALEX

Well, you're getting one.

 

NATHAN

Fine, but I'm not going to use it.

 

ALEX

We'll see about that. Any pistols you like?

 

NATHAN

They all look the same.

 

ALEX

Looks aren't everything, it's the firepower that counts.

 

NATHAN

(tapping the display case of a random pistol)

This one.

 

ALEX

Ah, why?

 

NATHAN

Random.

 

ALEX

The gun has to mean something to you, you have to be at one with it.

 

NATHAN

(tapping the same case)

I want that one.

 

ALEX

(smiling)

Uh, okay mate.

 

INT. MAIN ROOM - QUIK BAR - DAY

 

LOREN and JEWEL are working on the bar, there are four customers in. The karaoke machine is on but nobody is singing. OLLY walks in and approaches the bar.

 

OLLY

Alright, girls?

 

LOREN

Hey, Olly.

 

OLLY

Been this quiet all day?

 

JEWEL

Oh, yeah?

 

OLLY

Get on the karaoke machine, a voice like your's will have this place booming.

 

JEWEL

Mine?

 

OLLY

Yeah, come on, you know you want to.

 

JEWEL

But what would I sing?

 

OLLY

Your favourite song?

 

JEWEL

(smiling)

I think I'll pass on that one.

 

 

INT. PETROL STATION STORE - DAY

 

ALEX and NATHAN are in the store, NATHAN grabs a chocolate bar from a stand and shoves it in his jacket pocket. ALEX notices it and smirks.

 

ALEX

(whispering)

You ready for your first job?

 

NATHAN

(whispering)

No, I can't believe you're forcing me to do this.

 

ALEX

(whispering)

Take out the security camera carefully then move in for the alarm.

 

 

NATHAN walks around the store, stopping at a magazine shelf. He looks up at the security camera above the magazines and follows the wire coming from it to an box on the wall. ALEX distracts the female SHOP ASSISTANT while NATHAN cracks the box open and tears out the wires.

 

ALEX

Any special offers on today?

 

SHOP ASSISTANT

Three chocolate bars for one dollar or two bottles of cola for one dollar.

 

NATHAN looks at the alarm beside the SHOP ASSISTANT, he looks at the wire which goes to a different box on the wall, he cracks that box open and tears out the wires. ALEX looks over to NATHAN and sees that his part is done.

 

ALEX

How about you just give me the money out of the register?

 

SHOP ASSISTANT

(laughing)

No, sir.

 

ALEX

(taking his pistol out of his jacket and pointing it at the shop assistant)

How about now?

 

SHOP ASSISTANT

(opening the cash register and filling bags with the money)

Please, don't shoot me!

 

NATHAN runs over to ALEX, stuffing his pockets with chocolate bars. The SHOP ASSISTANT hands the bags of money out, two to NATHAN and two to ALEX. ALEX and NATHAN run out of the store.

 

EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY

 

ALEX and NATHAN are running through an alleyway, almost out of breath, holding the moneybags. They stop and sit on trashcans.

 

ALEX

(gasping)

I think we're ok now.

 

NATHAN

(laughing and breathing loudly)

That was... AWESOME!

 

ALEX

(smirking)

I knew you'd like it in the end.

 

NATHAN

(laughing)

Did you see the look on that poor woman's face?

 

ALEX

(mockingly)

Yeah, she was all like "oh don't shoot me"

 

NATHAN

So, how much do you think we got?

 

ALEX

I'd have to say around five hundred each.

 

NATHAN

(frowning)

What happened to making five grand an hour?

 

ALEX

That was a once in a while situation, you can't really moan about five hundred dollars in your pocket.

 

NATHAN

Except for when we're in prison.

 

ALEX

It won't come to that, we're away, we're safe.

 

NATHAN

(mocking Alex)

Oh and what do we do now? "Lay low?"

 

ALEX

(slightly annoyed)

If we have to.

 

NATHAN

Basically, we're on the run?

 

ALEX

For now, but give it a few days and this'll all blow over.

 

NATHAN

(sarcastically)

Whatever you say, boss.

 

ALEX

(annoyed and frustrated)

Yes, I'm your boss! Until you can stop being such a whiny little bitch and grow a pair, I lead us.

 

NATHAN

Well, what if I just say no, I say I won't be a criminal, I give up.

 

ALEX

I'd let you leave, I can do this sh*t in my sleep. I was doing this sort of stuff when I was ten years old. I belong at the top of the food chain. Now if you wanna come with me and be the richest motherf*cker in this sh*thole of a city then fine, I'll make room for you but if not, go f*ck yourself.

EXT. WEDNESDALE DISTRICT - DAY

 

MASON, LEONE and a dozen more Sinned Rose Mafia members walk through a filthy industrial district, all masked and carrying assault rifles.

 

MASON

(marching forward towards a brewery)

Wednesdale Brewery is the target, The Delangeras Family have been using it to make cheap alcohol to sell at all of their speakeasys. Having a business like that would make it easier for us to launder our money, we need it and they won't be needing it when they're dead. So come on, let's take this place as our own.

 

The SRM march straight through the Brewery's parking lot and into the main doors.

 

INT. LIVING ROOM - 102 FLEET AVENUE - DAY

 

ALEX and NATHAN walk into the living room, just as JEWEL is leaving.

 

ALEX

Jewel, where're you going?

 

JEWEL

Long story, in short, need to find a cop or bad people are gonna hunt me down.

 

ALEX

What?!

 

NATHAN

(walking into the hallway)

I'll give you guys a minute alone.

 

JEWEL

Well, a cop came into the bar looking for me, he says I'm a witness of what happened at the nightclub and he needs to protect me.

 

ALEX

No, you're not going.

 

JEWEL

I might be killed if I don't, I have to go.

 

ALEX

No, the cop will get you to speak up about what happened.

 

JEWEL

Why would I not? We were nearly killed. The sickos who did it need arresting.

 

ALEX

Uh, yeah, but you can't have them arrested.

 

JEWEL

Wait, did you have something to do with it?!

 

ALEX

No, well not really...

 

JEWEL

...It was Leone wasn't it...

 

ALEX

...yeah.

 

JEWEL starts to repeatedly punch ALEX, breaking down in tears.

 

JEWEL

(still punching ALEX and crying)

You f*cking idiot, he's gonna kill us.

 

ALEX

No, he won't, I spoke to him, as long as you say nothing to the cops.

 

JEWEL

(taking a step back)

Because that will fix everything? That'll bring all of the innocent victims back to life? Heal Kylem's gunshot wound?

 

ALEX

No, but it'll stop you from becoming one of them innocent victims.

 

JEWEL

Now what's happening then, do they want you back?

 

ALEX

Leone offered but that Mason chick, she don't seem right, there's something about her. I don't think she would let me and Leone keep it oldschool.

 

JEWEL

So you were considering it, you're a sick f*cking murderer! You know what, f*ck you, you're not my brother anymore! If you're thinking of getting the MacCarthys' into your little criminal underworld you can think again. I won't let you ruin their lives like you ruined ours.

 

ALEX

Well maybe if you didn't blow all our money on f*cking poker, we'd be fine now, not in any of this sh*t.

 

JEWEL

The poker wasn't why you quit, you know why you quit, why don't you get Nathan in here and tell him a little bit about your f*cked up past, eh?

 

ALEX

Too late, I gave quite a few hints that I used to be a criminal.

 

JEWEL

Oh, and what about the SRM? You mention them?

 

ALEX

No, I can't exactly say, "oh hi, I used to be part of the mafia that took part in that massacre that you almost got killed in.

 

JEWEL

I know, and that's why he's not gonna know a thing about any of our past. Stop with the hinting and don't take him on any jobs with you.

 

ALEX

(walking away, looking mischevious)

Too late for that...

 

INT. WEDNESDALE BREWERY - DAY

 

Huge brewery equipment is all over the room, and so are some dead members of the Delangeras Mafia. The dozens of SRM members stand in the center of the room, shooting the Delangeras members that are running at them with shotguns. Eventually, the SRM stand victorious, atop a balcony above the equipment stands MASON and LEONE.

 

LEONE

We stand victorious, not only have we captured this here brewery which can now be used for money laundering but we took down a fair few Delangeras motherf*ckers in the process. I'd say it's a win...

 

MASON

...and so would I. This piece of territory is key to the dethroning of the Delangeras Family.

 

INT. MAIN OFFICE - SOUL TOWER - NIGHT

 

LEONE is alone in the office he takes out his phone and dials BENJAMIN.

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Ayy, Benny boy, how's the wife?

 

BENJAMIN

(on phone, angry)

Dead, you killed her remember?!

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Ah, the memories.

 

BENJAMIN

(on phone)

Where are the Peppers?

 

LEONE

(to phone)

The who?

 

BENJAMIN

(on phone)

The two that escaped from Flash

 

LEONE

(to phone)

First off, learn to count, there were like five survivors and I wasted them all.

 

BENJAMIN

(on phone)

No, you couldn't have.

 

LEONE

(to phone)

I kinda did.

 

BENJAMIN

(on phone)

You sneaky f*cking c*nt.

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Yeah, that sounds like me. Even you should know, I never leave witnesses. Oh, and goodbye.

 

LEONE ends the call smirking to himself, he dials ALEX.

 

ALEX

(on phone)

Hello?

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Ayyyy, Alex.

 

ALEX

(on phone)

What do you want now, Leone?

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Hmmm, rude. I just called to say I told Benjamin that you and your sister are dead.

 

ALEX

(on phone, sarcastically)

Oh, that's nice.

 

LEONE

(to phone)

So have fun not having to pay tax or getting arrested for anything.

 

ALEX

(on phone)

Wait, I can't be arrested?

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Sort of, they can't arrest a dead guy, along as they you don't give the cops your name, you're pretty much pardoned for everything.

 

ALEX

(on phone)

Wow, thanks I guess.

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Remember when I said you don't have to pay tax, that only applies to tax that isn't mine. I'm putting it up to ten dollars for every hundred dollars you steal.

 

ALEX

(on phone)

Well I'm not gonna steal anything from the Neon District so that's ok.

 

LEONE

(to phone)

Oh, not just the Neon District, it applies to the Wednesdale District too now.

 

ALEX

(on phone)

I'm not exactly gonna steal a truck full of coal from the industrial buildings am I?

 

LEONE ends the call and slams his phone into his pocket.

 

[FADE OUT]


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

    /x/ lurker

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 29 Jun 2013
  • United-Nations

#5

Posted 26 March 2014 - 02:42 PM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:49 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x4)

"Plane Dangerous"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FADE IN]

 

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat beside a road, although dark rainclouds are above them and they are soaking wet, they stay there.

 

NATHAN

This so isn't going to work.

 

ALEX

I bet it does.

 

NATHAN

Can't we just hijack someone in traffic? Or just not hijack someone?

 

ALEX

Oh my, stop being such a little bitch, it's safer this way, it's quiet and nobody can hear screams.

 

NATHAN

Because that doesn't sound like a rape quote at all.

 

ALEX

Shut up idiot, this is gonna work, trust me.

 

NATHAN

Ugh, whatever. I swear, if we wasn't broke, I would never do this sh*t.

 

ALEX

(looking down the empty road)

I hear something, shut up.

 

A dirty, blue car speeds along the road, the young female driver sees NATHAN and ALEX, she stops to let them in. ALEX gets in the passenger seat while NATHAN stays at the side of the road.

 

DRIVER

(staring at NATHAN out of the window)

You need a ride too?

 

NATHAN shakes his head, the DRIVER looks back at ALEX beside her to see that he has his pistol held up to her face.

 

ALEX

Keep quiet, get out.

 

The driver silently gets out of the car, with her hand on her mouth to stop the sound of her tears. NATHAN hands her ten dollars.

 

NATHAN

(smiling)

Get yourself a taxi home, hun.

 

The DRIVER shakes her head and accepts the money, running away. NATHAN gets in the car, ready to drive.

 

ALEX

Told you it would work.

 

NATHAN

f*ck. Off.

 

ALEX

Tomorrow, we take this car to a garage, change the plates, spray it and then we got ourselves a cheap vehicle.

 

NATHAN

Could of just bought a pedal bike.

 

ALEX

Yeah, let's go rob a f*cking bank on a pedal bike. Maybe we can spray it pink and get a little high pitched bell on it.

 

NATHAN

f*ck you, Alex. Come on, let's get this thing hidden somewhere.

 

INT. WEDNESDALE BREWERY - NIGHT

 

LEONE is holding a glass of his own Wednesdale Brew, the brewery is dark and there is nobody around. DAMON steps out of the shadows.

 

LEONE

Damon Delangeras, it's been a while since we last had a chat. Think you can sneak up on me like that?

 

LEONE throws the glass of beer at DAMON who blocks it with his left arm.

 

DAMON

Everything is out of hand now, we could have reformed the alliance.

 

LEONE

No, if you remember back to just a few days ago when you waged war on us.

 

DAMON

The Delangeras in no way waged war on the SRM. The Delangeras don't want a turf war after the crime crackdowns, we'd all be arrested.

 

LEONE

Well, it sounded like you wanted a war, so that's what you have.

 

DAMON

Leone, you're stupid, you really are. Going around thinking you're some big man when really you're the same little boy you were back when we were kids. Guns don't make you mature, they just make you a killer.

 

LEONE

Call me stupid one more time?

 

DAMON

Stupid.

 

LEONE runs at DAMON who knocks him clean out with one punch to the temple.

 

DAMON

(walking away)

Bye Leo.

 

INT. QUIK BAR - NIGHT

 

The bar has quite a lot of customers, LOREN and JEWEL are working, NATHAN and ALEX walk in.

 

NATHAN

Ayyy, look at you there, sis, working for once.

 

LOREN

Haha, shut up.

 

JEWEL

The karaoke machine is on, why don't you guys give it a go?

 

ALEX

Maybe later.

 

NATHAN

Have you guys seen Kylem lately? He seems real depressed.

 

JEWEL

Can you blame him? We've all been through a lot of sh*t in the last few days.

 

NATHAN

At least soon we can get some money together and think about what to do next.

 

LOREN

We go home?

 

NATHAN

I dunno yet, I kinda like it here, minus the shootouts.

 

JEWEL

It's a pretty safe city mostly. The cops got a hold on crime a while ago, arrested the top dogs and their followers just gave up.

 

ALEX

(whispering to NATHAN)

Another reason I gave up crime.

 

JEWEL

(looking at ALEX without the others noticing)

Of course not all of the top dogs were arrested, some just went into hiding.

 

ALEX

(mouthing the words to JEWEL)

Don't f*cking dare tell them I was SRM.

 

JEWEL

But yeah, crime is a lot less frequent now. Change of subject, the weather is horrible isn't it?

 

LOREN

(looking at NATHAN and ALEX who are soaked and covered in mud)

You guys need a change of clothes, I think Olly has a few spare Quik shirts in the back.

 

ALEX

Uh, we'll pass. We're gonna head back home in a minute anyway.

 

JEWEL

Go hail yourselves a taxi, you can't walk home like that you'll get a cold.

 

INT. NATHAN'S ROOM - 102 FLEET AVENUE - DAY

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat on NATHAN's bed, NATHAN looks quite annoyed.

 

NATHAN

So what exactly are we going to do with the car?

 

ALEX

I know a guy who owns a garage, it's not far from here, we take the car there and get him to sort it out. You know, spray it, change the plates over, that sort of stuff? This guy knows what he's doing.

 

NATHAN

Fair enough. I hate all of this crime bullsh*t, can't we just get jobs?

 

ALEX

No, that wouldn't provide us all with enough money to keep backed up for when the police find out we live here and evict us.

 

NATHAN

I just want us all to be safer, why spend our lives in prison when we could spend our lives on a beach somewhere when we retire at the age of sixty.

 

ALEX

I see what you mean but if we put ourselves in more danger and get some hardcore money flying in, we could be retired in a month.

 

NATHAN

If you let me be in charge, I can keep us safe.

 

ALEX

I don't know if I can let you, I have a couple of big jobs coming soon.

 

NATHAN

Let me help plan them.

 

ALEX

Maybe, listen, in the morning, we can deal with the car situation.

 

ALEX climbs off NATHAN's bed and walks out of the door.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI POLICE DEPARTMENT - NIGHT

 

BENJAMIN and KIERAN are sat on BENJAMIN's sofa drinking tea.

 

BENJAMIN

We're getting nowhere in this investigation.

 

KIERAN

Yes we are, if we simply arrest the SRM, things will be back to normal.

 

BENJAMIN

We can't just arrest them, they could take down most of the IPD, we need a better plan.

 

KIERAN

But what do we do now?

 

BENJAMIN

We have quite a few current problems, firstly, I need to find that girl, she's not dead, I know it.

 

KIERAN

But didn't Leone say himself that she was killed?

 

BENJAMIN

He's bluffing, I suspect that he may have some sort of connection to her and her brother.

 

KIERAN

Another question is why are you more interested in the girl than her brother?

 

BENJAMIN

It's simple, it's much easier to interrogate women, I'm not sure why though. Secondly, a woman was carjacked recently in the middle of nowhere and I believe it may have something to do with the SRM. The woman says she doesn't know who the carjackers were but still.

 

KIERAN

Wait, carjackers? You mean it was more than one person?

 

BENJAMIN

Yeah, two males she said.

 

KIERAN

As of now, we know that the SRM is being led by Mason and Leone, a male and a female.

 

BENJAMIN

Just because it's led by them doesn't mean that it can't be them. Leone could have brought alone another male to help.

 

KIERAN

Why would they steal a car, they have quite a lot of money at their disposal, wouldn't they just buy one?

 

BENJAMIN

Perhaps. Thirdly, a brewery was taken over down in the industrial district. I think that the chances of this being the SRM are very high. In the past we know that the brewery was once used by the Delangeras Family to provide speakeasys with cheap alcohol. The SRM and the Delangeras could be at war which is quite likely as the Delangeras took over much of the SRM turf over the years that the SRM have been confined.

KIERAN

Wow, that makes sense.

 

BENJAMIN

It sure does. A war between the SRM and the Delangeras could be beneficial to us. The Delangeras may kill the SRM before we have any evidence.

 

KIERAN

Wait, you want the SRM dead?

 

BENJAMIN

Justice has to be served appropriately. I believe for the thousands of lives that the SRM took, they deserve their lives to be taken from them. It's much better to have the Delangeras around than to have the SRM, so aslong as the Delangeras don't harm any innocent civilians and they keep paying their bribes, they can stick around. Infact, I say we let the Delangeras kill the SRM, maybe even help a little. Then we burst in and take down the Delangeras.

 

KIERAN

I'm not so sure Chief, this sounds like a recipe for disaster.

 

BENJAMIN

Trust me, all we need to do is work out what is going on between the SRM and the Peppers. I know Leone's phone number, you need to hack it so we know both his location and we can listen in on his conversations when we need to. I'll keep looking for Jewel. Oh and one more thing I forgot to say, Glowstone is now illegal.

 

INT. BLUETREE GARAGE - DAY

 

ALEX and NATHAN are stood in the filthy garage with the mechanic, DIEGO, and the rusty car that they stolen.

 

DIEGO

This might take some work, it should be done in around an hour.

 

NATHAN

Price?

 

DIEGO

Around a grand?

 

ALEX

Sure.

 

EXT. BLUETREE GARAGE - DAY

 

NATHAN and ALEX are stood outside the garage. DIEGO drives the car out, it looks almost completely different. The car is bright blue and has star decals around it, it looks a lot more like a sports car too and the engine roars loudly.

 

DIEGO

Aren't you gonna get in?

 

NATHAN and ALEX get into the back of the car, just as a group of bikers come speeding round the corner on their bikes. DIEGO looks back behind him.

 

DIEGO

f*ck! f*ck!

 

DIEGO speeds the car away from the bikers who continue to chase the car, shooting at it with pistols. NATHAN and ALEX take out their pistols and shoot the bikers through their windows. Eventually, NATHAN and ALEX manage to have killed the bikers.

 

ALEX

Damn, that was unexpected.

 

DIEGO

Thank you guys so much, I owed them guys a huge debt. Still I guess I'd better skip city seems now they'll all be out to get me.

 

NATHAN

Who will?

 

DIEGO

The Bloodcash MC, a biker gang rumoured to be vampires.

 

ALEX

(laughing loudly)

Vampires?

 

NATHAN

Dude, vampires are real, I saw one once back in Ireland.

 

DIEGO

Then you'll know about the transformations.

 

NATHAN

Yeah, when they bite you, they can choose to kill you or turn you into one of them.

 

DIEGO

Yeah, I lost at a game of cards with them, they gave me the option to get turned or pay a debt of thousands of dollars.

 

NATHAN

I'm guessing you didn't choose to be turned.

 

DIEGO

Yus, I chose the debt and I couldn't pay it this month.

 

ALEX

This is....absolute bullsh*t.

 

DIEGO

No man, it's all the truth.

 

ALEX

Yeah whatever, fruitcake.

 

DIEGO

Alex, man, we go way back, man, why would I lie to you?

 

ALEX

So we keep you protected from them f*cking bikers.

 

DIEGO

I already told you, I'm leaving Ibarazi for good.

 

NATHAN

(sighing)

f*ck it, you can stay on our couch.

 

EXT. ASKLY FARM - NIGHT

 

NATHAN is walks down a lane to the main farmhouse where EDDIE runs towards him.

 

NATHAN

So what's this emergency then?

 

EDDIE

The police are on their way, they're cracking down on Glowstone and they know about the farm. I've loaded up three vans, we need them to the hangar now!

 

NATHAN

But there's only two of us here, what about the other van?

 

ALEX sneaks up behind NATHAN.

 

ALEX

(whispering into NATHAN's ear)

Boo.

 

NATHAN jumps unexpectedly and turns around.

 

 

NATHAN

Should have known you would have something to do with this.

 

ALEX

Haha, get in the vans.

 

ALEX, NATHAN and EDDIE each get into one of the black vans and speed away from the farm just as six police cars arrive. The police cars spot the vans and chase them.

 

EXT. RUNWAY - IBARAZI AIRPORT - NIGHT

 

The three vans speed along the runway, avoiding planes as the police cars chase them, the cars crash into hangars during the chase. The vans quickly drive into Mr Chase's hangar where his bodyguards stand beside a small plane.

 

EDDIE

Thanks for your help, you can take the farm. I'm going to start up somewhere else.

 

Still on the runway, BENJAMIN watches from his crashed police car.

 

EXT. FLEET AVENUE - NIGHT

 

BENJAMIN sits in his damaged police car infront of the abandoned apartment. He takes a swig from a bottle of vodka then presses the button on his police radio. Three police vans speed around the corner,  twelve armed police officers rush out of them towards the apartment's door.

 

INT. HALLWAY - 102 FLEET AVENUE - NIGHT

 

The police have bashed in the front door and are now in the house, holding shotguns with torches on.

 

INT. LIVING ROOM / KITCHEN - 102 FLEET AVENUE - NIGHT

 

The police run into the living room, pointing the guns at LOREN, KYLEM, JEWEL and DIEGO who are watching TV, they turn to see the police and each let out shouts and screams. The police all run to check upstairs except one cop and BENJAMIN.

 

BENJAMIN

Names?!

 

LOREN

Loren MacCarthy!

 

KYLEM

Kylem MacCarthy.

 

JEWEL

Jewel Pepper.

 

BENJAMIN

Jewel Pepper?!

 

JEWEL

(shaking)

Y-y-yeah that's my name.

 

BENJAMIN

We're gonna have quite the chat later, but now, where are the others?!

 

JEWEL

My brother Alex and our friend Nathan just went out, they're at a farm or something, they didn't say.

 

BENJAMIN

Alex Pepper?

 

JEWEL

Yeah.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI PD- NIGHT

 

JEWEL is sat facing BENJAMIN in his office.

 

BENJAMIN

Now, I have some questions and I need you to answer them truthfully and I can that whole crew of yours released instantly.

 

JEWEL

Why are you arresting us?

 

BENJAMIN

I'll tell you the truth, I was going there to arrest the two guys that just took millions of dollars of drugs to an infamous criminal's personal bodyguards. But, I found you, and you and your brother are very valuable to me at this moment.

 

JEWEL

But who were the two guys?

 

BENJAMIN

Well, isn't it obvoius? Your brother and his friend.

 

JEWEL

Alex and Nathan? Dammit Alex!

 

BENJAMIN

You believe your brother may have influenced his friends?

 

JEWEL

No, I didn't say that?

 

BENJAMIN

But, you implied it. It seems I'm going to learn a lot during this conversation.

 

JEWEL

I want a lawyer!

 

BENJAMIN

And I want information, so you better start talking or I swear, I can get you hung tomorrow.

 

JEWEL

(scared)

What do you want to know?

 

BENJAMIN

I want your story on what happened at the nightclub.

 

JEWEL

How do you know I was there?

 

BENJAMIN

You worked there and you wasn't found in the rubble.

 

JEWEL

Alright, it was just a normal day until later on in the night. I was chatting to Nathan who was with his family. You know, Loren and Kylem. So I went outside to have a more private chat while it was my break. We got talking about our families, he told me about how his wife died a few years ago. Anyway, not long after we went back inside, the place was attacked. Kylem got shot but they decided not to kill us for some reason.

 

BENJAMIN

The ones who attacked the place? You know who they are?

 

JEWEL

No, they were wearing masks.

 

BENJAMIN

Why would they not kill you? I think you know who attacked, either that or you have a connection with them.

 

JEWEL

(going red)

I-I don't know them.

 

BENJAMIN

Ah but you do, The Sinned Rose Mafia, ring any bells?

 

JEWEL

N-No.

 

BENJAMIN

Don't lie to me!

 

JEWEL

Alright, I know them, they forced my brother to work for them a while ago.

 

BENJAMIN

Wait?! Alex is the third one?!

 

JEWEL

What?

 

BENJAMIN

The three leaders of the SRM, only two were captured... Mason and Leone.

 

JEWEL

I doubt Alex could lead anything. Why don't you just arrest Mason and Leone if you already knew it was them?

 

BENJAMIN

I need a statement, they escaped prison but that's all I have on them at the minute. They seem to leave no survivors or evidence at their crimes, hell, they even took over a skyscraper as a base and we still can't get them because of the lack of evidence. Arresting them for escaping prison will just get them back in there, if we can prove that they did the nightclub job then the President will be sure to have them all executed.

 

JEWEL

So if I write a statement then I'll be free to go?

 

BENJAMIN

I don't need a statement now, this is conversation is all recorded, I'm just gonna cut out all of the bits that aren't necessary. As for you and your buddies, you're off to prison.

 

JEWEL

You said we can be set free!

 

BENJAMIN

Before you admitted to knowing that your brother helped the SRM with all of their sick crimes during their first era. Also, I need to use you as blackmail.

 

JEWEL

What?!

 

BENJAMIN

Well, when Alex and Nathan handle do a few favours for me, you will be released but until then, welcome to hell!

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI PD - DAY

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat facing BENJAMIN in his office, police officers have their guns pointed at NATHAN and ALEX who seem to be co-operating.

 

BENJAMIN

So, you know why you are here...

 

NATHAN

Listen, we'll do anything, just let our families and Diego go!

 

BENJAMIN

That's what I'm going to do, once you guys do a few favours for me. Nathan, you need to go to that Eddie's new farm and burn that f*cker down, maybe arrest Eddie while you're at it. Alex, I need you to hijack a van that's delivering glowstone to the airport and bring it here. See, glowstone is becoming a big problem here and now it's illegal so we need to take further action to remove it. Oh and I've repo'd that farm you own, once again it's government property.

 

INT. WHEATON FARM - DAY

 

NATHAN walks onto the farm, with molotov cocktails up his shirt. EDDIE runs towards him.

 

 

EDDIE

Hey, I need some more delivery jobs taking care of.

 

NATHAN calmly just punches EDDIE in the face, EDDIE falls to the floor unconcious. NATHAN runs to the farmhouse and tosses a lit molotov at it, it bursts into flames. NATHAN then does the same to a field of glowstone crops.

 

EXT. BUSY STREET - DAY

 

ALEX sees the yellow van at a traffic light, he sneaks towards it and climbs into the back. Three guards are inside, he fights them and tosses them out of the van. He then climbs over the seats into the driver seat where he beats up the driver and pushes him out onto the road. ALEX drives the van towards Ibarazi PD.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI PD - DAY

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat facing BENJAMIN again but the police aren't there this time. BENJAMIN is starting to trust NATHAN and ALEX appearantly.

 

BENJAMIN

That was some great work that you guys did there, I have a huge job for you two guys. This one's special. I need you to.... hijack a plane for me.

 

NATHAN

What...the...f*ck?! We can't even fly a plane, nevermind hi-jack it.

 

BENJAMIN

Don't worry, you're gonna crash it, on purpose.

 

NATHAN

Whoa, we're not terrorists.

 

BENJAMIN

No silly, not into a building, into the sea. I need it destroyed, far away from land so that none of the press can find out about it. There's six million dollars worth of glowstone on it, I need that stuff sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

 

ALEX

I get it, we aim the plane out of the water and dive out.

 

BENJAMIN

(pointing at Alex)

Exactly, this guy gets it.

 

NATHAN

So you expect us to parachute to shore?

 

BENJAMIN

No, the shore will be miles away, you need to swim a few miles.

 

NATHAN

No way, send a heli to pick us up.

 

BENJAMIN

Ugh, whatever. Now anyway, this may go a bit wrong so you may need to "self defend".

 

NATHAN

A cop wants us to kill criminals?

 

BENJAMIN

Like I said "self defence".

 

NATHAN

Whatever. I don't wanna kill nobody though.

 

BENJAMIN

You'll kill who I tell you to kill.

 

INT. CARGO PLANE - NIGHT

 

The plane is filled with guards and Glowstone, NATHAN and ALEX remain hidden inside two crates. The crates burst open and NATHAN and ALEX burst out, shooting the guards with their machine guns. Once the guards are dead, NATHAN and ALEX put on parachutes. They dash into the cockpit and shoot the pilot. ALEX shoots the planes control and it goes into a nosedive.

 

ALEX

sh*t! It's going down!

 

NATHAN

(singing)

I'm yelling timber!

 

ALEX

Now's not the time to start singing, you jack-ass!

 

NATHAN

Right, let's go.

 

ALEX and NATHAN run back into the cargo hold and dive out of the back of the plane, twirling through the air in a freefall before opening their parachutes.

 

INT. QUIK BAR - NIGHT

 

OLLY and LEONE are sat in the bar together, the bar is closed as they seem to be having a private meeting.

 

LEONE

So, long time no speak, eh?

 

OLLY

Definitely, how are you doing?

 

LEONE

Fine, you know, just the usual stuff, at war with one of the biggest crime families in the state while having to deal with the police investigating the SRM at the same time.

 

OLLY

But why are you here?

 

LEONE

Says at the brewery that this is one of the delivery spots for the Delangeras Family.

 

OLLY

Oh, I get my booze from them, yeah.

 

LEONE

Well, I killed quite a few of them f*ckers and took their brewery so I guess you get your booze from me now.

 

OLLY

Great to work with you again.

 

LEONE

So you got any information?

 

OLLY

Apparently, two of my staff members have been arrested along with their families for crimes they didn't commit.

 

LEONE

I know them?

 

OLLY

Two girls; Loren and Jewel...

 

LEONE

Jewel Pepper?!

 

OLLY

Oh don't tell me you're the ones trying to kill her.

 

LEONE

What?

 

OLLY

This Benjamin dude, chief of police waltzes in here and asks if I know her, he needs to protect her from people trying to kill her.

 

LEONE

Sneaky little f*cker, he was trying to use her for information on the nightclub. I hope she doesn't know it was us that did it all.

 

OLLY

I should have known you had something to do with that.

 

LEONE

I gotta call Alex.

 

INT. POLICE CHOPPER - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and ALEX are in the back of the police chopper alone, the pilot has headphones on, he can't hear them. ALEX's phone rings and he puts it to his ear.

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Hello?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

ALEX!!!

 

ALEX

(to phone)

What?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Where are you?!

 

ALEX

(to phone)

In a police chopper with Nathan, long story.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Well, you better start telling it now!

 

ALEX

(to phone)

Alright, I'll keep it short. The chief of police has taken our families hostage, he's forcing us to work for him to get them out of prison. He keeps sending us to stop the distribution of glowstone around the city. From what I can work out, we're all in trouble. I think he knows about the nightclub and I think he knows I was the third member.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

If I find out that it was that slutty f*cking sister of yours that told him, I'll f*cking end all of you!

 

ALEX

(to phone)

I don't think she would say that and anyway, this is all under control, he's not doing anything yet, let's just see if he does know first.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

If anything happens now, I swear!

 

ALEX puts the phone down.

 

INT. BENJAMINS OFFICE - IBARAZI PD - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat facing BENJAMIN again.

 

NATHAN

This is getting beyond a joke, we haven't slept in days!

 

BENJAMIN

It'll all be over soon, this Mr Chase is starting to get annoyed, he's sending out his final shipment of glowstone via train and we need that train and all of it's cargo destroyed. As soon as it's destroyed, we can move in on Mr Chase and arrest him. Then you'll be freed.

 

ALEX

What exactly has my sister told you anyway?

 

BENJAMIN

The truth, the SRM are behind the nightclub attack. You were the third leader... you know... everything.

 

ALEX

f*cking bitch, I'll kill her!

 

NATHAN

Wait, you were with the guys that nearly killed us, the guys that shot my brother!

 

ALEX

Not at the time, I went all legal, they got arrested and stopped forcing me to work for them.

 

BENJAMIN

Ah, but they weren't forcing you was they? Oh, wanna tell us what happened to all of your millions of dollars?

 

ALEX

I blew it all.

 

BENJAMIN

How so?!

 

ALEX

You're gonna laugh but.... an addiction to glowstone.

 

BENJAMIN

(laughing hysterically)

I guess you're getting your revenge on the stuff now eh?

 

ALEX

f*ck you, man!

 

 

INT. QUIK BAR - NIGHT

 

LEONE and OLLY are still chatting.

 

OLLY

So what did he say?

 

LEONE

The police might know everything. So I'm sitting here, ready to be arrested or possibly killed any moment while Alex is f*cking destroying millions of dollars worth of glowstone for the IPD.

 

OLLY

Glowstone? I just got an idea. This bar is always empty, except the few customers that come in every once in a while. Glowstone is a party drug, nightclubs have parties. This bar... needs to be a nightclub. Call Alex and tell him to stop destroying that sh*t and bring it to me, I have a few million from our old days to pay him for it.


MacAshford
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#6

Posted 26 March 2014 - 05:11 PM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:50 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x5)

"The Betrayal"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FADE IN]

 

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DESERT - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat in their car, beside  the railway tracks.

 

NATHAN

This dude is really f*cking us over, you know?

 

ALEX

Oh, I know, but all we can do is play along with it. If we don't then he'll have us both executed, hell, he'd even off our families.

 

NATHAN

I see what you mean, but I'm telling you, I'm killing this guy pretty soon.

 

ALEX

What the hell happened to you? Not two days ago, you were refusing to jack a car or deliver drugs, now you're killing people and wanting to off the chief of police.

 

NATHAN

That man is putting not just our lives but our families' lives in danger. He hides behind his job, pretending he's a saint when he's just as much of a sinner as any of us! Now, you, this is all of your f*cking fault. If you and your sister had kept your mouth shut about the f*cking SRM or whatever the f*ck they're called then we'd all be fine. Oh and one more thing...

 

NATHAN punches ALEX in the face, making blood gush from his nose.

 

NATHAN

You made me a f*cking criminal and you're just as bad as that cop. If we survive this sh*t, I won't think twice about killing you and your little buddies in that mafia.

 

ALEX

(holding his nose)

Holy f*ck, what have I created? I'll let you know now, you don't stand a chance against me or the SRM, we're professionals, you, you're just a noob amateur.

 

NATHAN

f*ck you, you're getting two bullets in your head for that. But not yet, I need you alive for now.

 

ALEX

sh*t, you're serious around you?

 

NATHAN

Hell yeah I'm serious.

 

ALEX

You won't kill me, I'm too valuable, I'm the only one who can fix all of this mess with the SRM and the IPD.

 

NATHAN

I guess so, I'll give you one more chance. You make one more mistake and you're dead, you hear me?

 

ALEX

Whatever, mother-f*cking lunatic.

 

NATHAN

(looking at the train that is approaching)

Here's the train, alright, I'll jump onto it from the car roof, I need you to the car steady behind the train so I can get into the back carriage. When I'm in there, I'll kill the guards and move from carriage to carriage, unhooking each of them. There's three carriages, each with around a million dollars worth of glowstone inside them. Once they're unhooked, call that Olly guy and tell him to pick them up.

 

ALEX

Whatever, man, get ready.

 

NATHAN lifts the car's convertible roof up and tucks it into the boot. The train speeds past, ALEX starts driving. ALEX gets the car steady behind the last carriage of the red train. NATHAN jumps from the front of the car to the ladders on the back of the train. He climbs the ladder onto the roof of the 3rd carriage, he smashes his way through the sun roof where two guards are inside with six crates of glowstone.

 

NATHAN

Hello, and goodbye.

 

NATHAN takes out his pistol and shoots the two guards quickly. He unhooks the carriage and jumps through to the 2nd carriage. Inside the second carriage are three guards and eight crates of glowstone. NATHAN takes cover and stealthily assassinates them, he unhooks that carriage and jumps to the 1st carriage where there are four guards and four crates of glowstone. The guards spot NATHAN and attempt to shoot him but he gets into cover behind a crate and  shoots the guards silently. He unhooks the carriage and stays on it, letting the front of the train where the driver is just drive away into the sunrise, without even noticing the carriages separate.

 

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DESERT - SUNRISE

 

NATHAN, ALEX and OLLY are sat inside a truck that is filled with the glowstone from the train.

 

OLLY

I can't thank you boys enough.

 

ALEX

No, but you can pay us.

 

OLLY

Oh, don't worry about that, I can give you two million for all of this.

 

ALEX

It's clearly worth three million.

 

NATHAN

Alex, stop hassling him. Two million is more than enough.

 

OLLY

Your friend has the right attitude.

 

NATHAN

Thanks man.

 

OLLY

Have I seen you before.

 

NATHAN

Yeah, my sister Loren works at your bar.

 

OLLY

Oh, the aggressive, loud-mouthed one?

 

NATHAN

That'll be her, yep.

 

OLLY

She tends to swear a lot.

 

NATHAN

Oh, don't be fooled by that, she's the most innocent girl ever.

 

OLLY

Nice, where is she today, she was supposed to be in work last night?

 

NATHAN

She's in prison...

 

OLLY

Innocent you say?

 

NATHAN

Yeah, she's innocent, it's all a misunderstanding.

 

OLLY

Sure, but she better be in work soon, so if what I hear about you working for a cop is right then you should pull in some favours.

 

NATHAN

That's the point, we're working to get our families back.

 

OLLY

Leone isn't happy about Jewel snitching on the SRM. He's going to kill her for sure.

 

ALEX

He isn't going to lay a hand on my sister, if anyone is going to kill her it's me. I can fix this with Leone, I just need to talk to him.

 

OLLY

I'd talk pretty quick cause I hear he's getting some of his friends to take her out.

 

ALEX

But all of his friends are in prison-

 

ALEX shakes with fear.

 

ALEX

f*ck! He's going to have her killed in prison, look, we gotta stop this, Nathan.

 

NATHAN

I have a plan, I know what Benjamin is doing, trust me.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI PD - DAY

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sat facing BENJAMIN.

 

BENJAMIN

So now, it's all over. The IPD arrested Mr Chase this morning, we couldn't have done it without your help.

 

NATHAN

But that's not truly the whole of it, you're going to arrest us now aren't you.

 

BENJAMIN

Well, I guess I miss underestimated you, Nathan, perhaps you are intelligent. Although working for us and knowing that after it all we're just going to arrest you is pretty dumb.

 

ALEX

(angry)

You agreed to let us and our families go!

 

BENJAMIN

Who cares?

 

NATHAN

(whispering to Alex)

Go along with it, trust me.

 

BENJAMIN

You can all spend some time with your families while I have the SRM executed. I'll consider letting you go once I capture them all but I guess that might take a long long time so have fun.

 

INT. WEST YARD - KEEGAN PRISON - DAY

 

NATHAN, ALEX, LOREN, JEWEL, KYLEM and DIEGO are sat on benches in the prison yard wearing their uniforms. There are a lot of guards watching over them from guard towers. As it's a normal break, there are also other prisoners around.

 

NATHAN

Right, I'm going to solve our problems.

 

ALEX

How exactly?

 

NATHAN

I spoke to Olly and... well, just count down from ten.

 

ALEX, LOREN, JEWEL, KYLEM and DIEGO

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

 

Just as they reach one, a helicopter flies above them, a weapons crate drops from it. ALEX and NATHAN run to the crate and grab the assault rifles inside. They shoot the guards quickly as the alarms go off. More guards appear and gun down DIEGO and JEWEL. LOREN and KYLEM scream as ALEX starts to go into a full rage mode with tears streaming down his face. ALEX spins in a 360 degrees circle, shooting dozens of rounds of ammo into not just guards but prisoners too. A rope ladder dangles from the chopper, NATHAN, LOREN and KYLEM climb it into the chopper. ALEX puts JEWEL's body on his shoulder and climbs onto the rope, the chopper takes off.

 

INT. QUIK BAR - NIGHT

 

The bar is closed for a private meeting, it is also being decorated. OLLY, NATHAN, ALEX, LOREN and KYLEM are sat at the bar.

 

LOREN

Wanna tell us what the f*ck has been happening over the last few days?

 

NATHAN

Well, Alex used to be part of a mafia, the same mafia that attacked the nightclub and nearly killed us all. That mafia, the SRM, escaped prison and were being hunted by the cops. The cops needed more evidence on them so they could have the SRM executed. The cops somehow found out that Jewel and Alex left alive by the SRM, they put the dots together and captured us all. Jewel snitched on the SRM, the cops forced Alex and me to work for the IPD to crackdown on glowstone distribution in exchange for all of our freedom. Turns out, he was f*cking us all along so we could do his job. He made us kill people and risk our lives. I figured we would do what we had to do to keep us all safe. We organised the prison break so that now we're all out. The only problem is now Benjamin is gonna be after us all as well as the SRM.

 

ALEX

(upset)

No, the SRM wanted Jewel and me dead. Jewel is gone so I'm going to give myself in. I have nothing to live for anymore.

 

NATHAN

No, we'll talk with the SRM and fix our problems.

 

LOREN

What about that house, we're broke and homeless.

 

NATHAN

We may be homeless but we're definitely not broke. 

 

OLLY

(to Loren)

Your brother and Alex did a huge favour for me so I'm wiring two million dollars to them. That's one million each, Alex and Nathan are millionaires.

 

NATHAN

(laughing)

Holy f*ck, I'm a millionaire.

 

ALEX

(to Nathan)

How the hell can you be happy, my sister was just killed. This is the end for her.

 

NATHAN

I'm sorry for your loss, we can hold a funeral for her in soon but for now, we need to speak with the SRM before we are all killed.

 

ALEX

I'm giving myself up to save you all, but Nathan, at the first chance you get, I want you to kill Benjamin and maybe even the SRM.

 

NATHAN

Agreed but not yet, that's impossible, like you said earlier.

 

INT. ROOFTOP - SOUL TOWER - DAY

 

LEONE (unmasked), ALEX and NATHAN are stood on the rooftop of Soul Tower alone.

 

LEONE

Alex, the time's come. This is the end for you.

 

ALEX

Ok, just shoot me, get it over with.

 

NATHAN

Wait, is there no other way?

 

LEONE

Only one but it's more of a suicide mission.

 

NATHAN

Explain?

 

LEONE

The SRM are currently at war with the Delangeras Family, if you can kill the Delangeras Family then I will free Alex.

 

NATHAN

How can I trust you won't just kill him?

 

LEONE

You have my word, I've never broke my word. Ever!

 

ALEX

That, is true.

 

NATHAN

Alright, I'll work on it. How do I start?

 

LEONE

Well, the family has five main members. One of them, Damon Delangeras is going to his weapons warehouse in a few days, I want that warehouse destroyed, with these.

 

LEONE gives NATHAN three sticky bombs.

 

NATHAN

Okay, I'll do it.

 

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN, LOREN and KYLEM stand outside a huge beach house.

 

NATHAN

So this is it, MacCarthy HQ...

 

KYLEM

It's amazing.

 

NATHAN

Loren, I need to show you something too.

 

 

INT. SVARJAKI GARAGE - DAY

 

NATHAN and LOREN stand with an eastern-European-looking car dealer named SVARJAKI. They are looking at a pink sports car.

 

NATHAN

Price?

 

SVARJAKI

This here beauty is only two hundred thousand dollars.

 

NATHAN

Sure, I'll take it.

 

LOREN

(excited and almost fainting)

Oh my god. Oh my god. Nathan thanks, you are the best little brother ever!

 

INT. MACCARTHY HQ - DAY

NATHAN and LOREN walk in to see KYLEM lay on the floor, bleeding quickly with self harm cuts on his arms.

 

NATHAN

sh*t, sh*t! Loren, start the car up!

 

NATHAN runs over to KYLEM and helps him up.

 

INT. CAR - DAY

 

NATHAN, KYLEM and LOREN are in the car, LOREN is driving.

 

NATHAN

Listen to me, Kye, this is all going to be alright, we're going to the hospital. Why did you do it?

 

KYLEM

(in pain)

I can't take it anymore, we've became pathetic, living off money made by killing people. The cops are all out to get us. This is no way to live.

 

NATHAN

Damn it, I'll fix this, I swear.

 

INT. BENJAMIN'S OFFICE - IBARAZI PD - DAY

 

BENJAMIN is in his office with KIERAN.

 

BENJAMIN

You've missed a lot during your holiday.

 

KIERAN

Such as?

 

BENJAMIN

I found the girl, I got her to make a statement, we have enough evidence to get the SRM executed. I even found out who the third SRM leader was. Turns out he was the girl's brother. I forced him to work for me, finding Mr Chase and removing all of the Glowstone from Ibarazi completely. Only one problem, the third leader and his friends escaped prison. The girl, she wasn't so lucky, she was shot by the guards, hopefully that won't affect the evidence on the SRM. For now we need to capture the SRM which means we need to let the Delangeras Family weaken them a bit. Then we can seize the Soul Tower and reclaim it as government property.

 

KIERAN

Wow, and I thought I was the only productive guy in the IPD.

 

BENJAMIN

Haha, get me a f*cking coffee.

 

EXT. IBARAZI HOSPITAL - NIGHT

 

NATHAN, LOREN and KYLEM are outside the hospital.

 

 

NATHAN

See, you're fine, now I know what'll cheer us all up. There's a special carnival on tonight on the pier, let's check it out.

 

EXT. KELLIN PIER - NIGHT

 

A carnival is on, there are trading stalls selling everything from candy floss to masquerade masks, some people wearing the latter. The place is heavily crowded. Two fairground rides have been put up, a huge ferris wheel and a waltzers ride. NATHAN, LOREN and KYLEM stand staring at the whole amazing carnival.

 

NATHAN

Well, isn't this f*cking awesome?

 

LOREN

Waltzers first?

 

NATHAN

(smiling)

If you want.

 

KYLEM

I'll just go and chill out on the ferris wheel, I feel dizzy already.

 

NATHAN

Sure, we'll meet you when it comes back down.

 

KYLEM

(walking to the ferris wheel)

Perfect.

 

NATHAN

You think he's really feeling better?

 

LOREN

Totally, the last time I saw him truly happy was at the carnival when we were fifteen.

 

NATHAN

So this was a good idea?

 

LOREN

Great idea, actually.

 

INT. WALTZERS RIDE - KELLIN PIER - NIGHT

 

There are nine waltzers cars, NATHAN and LOREN get into the same one and pull the protection bar down, pushing themselves back in the seat. The rest of the cars are filled with people. NATHAN notices the ferris wheel start up too. His phone bleeps and he takes it out to see a message from OLLY.

 

NATHAN

Hmm, Olly texted me.

 

LOREN

What's it say?

 

NATHAN opens the message and a look of fear spreads along his eyes.

 

NATHAN

(shaking)

"That Ben dude is sending hundreds of cops to the carnival to waste you, they don't even care about the law, Ben has gone insane, get out quick."

 

NATHAN and LOREN frantically try to get out of the waltzer car but the protection bar is locked. LOREN begins to hyperventilate as NATHAN takes out the SMG hidden in his jacket. The ride begins and the cars begin to spin rapidly, causing a slight blur in NATHAN's vision. The strobe lights go faster, as does the ride. The hundred or so cops burst through the carnival, all holding pistols. NATHAN leans back into the seat and begins to shoot wildly, wasting the cops as many of them try to climb onto the waltzers ride. NATHAN stands up, spinning even faster, shooting rounds of bullets into all directions. The ride slows down and NATHAN dives out, reloading the gun. LOREN follows him, dodging bullets.

 

EXT. KELLIN PIER - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and LOREN rush through the pier to where the cops mainly are. They are all at the ferris wheel, trying to climb up it, cart by cart but failing. KYLEM is right at the top but the ride has broke and is jammed. NATHAN shoots the climbing cops and begins to climb himself, LOREN once again following like a little scared puppy. Once NATHAN reaches KYLEM's cart, he reloads his gun again. LOREN and KYLEM crouch down as NATHAN takes out his phone and calls OLLY.

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

Olly, can you drive down and pick us up, please?

 

OLLY

I'm already doing something better.

 

NATHAN notices OLLY hovering over in the helicopter, the ladders drop down and NATHAN, LOREN and KYLEM climb them into the helicopter.


Mokrie Dela
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    Story/Poem of the Year 2011 "Justice in Flames"
    Story/Poem of the Year 2010 "City of Lies"

#7

Posted 27 March 2014 - 01:03 PM

Right, so I won't offer my usual feedback because this isn't my strong point, if indeed, i have any.

 

Two things made me question so far -

1 - The "codenames" on the backs of the prisoners - Don't prisons use a numbering system? Instead of Leone, would it not say "400328"? Have you taken a slight liberty for purposes of identification here?

 

2 - Nathan falls three floors into a thorn bush. I sincerely doubt he'd simply walk away from that. Unless he landed in a parkour's roll, I'm surprised the fall didn't kill him.... Immediately afterward there's a waiter - where did he come from? Is there a pool-side bar? I'm simply confused!

 

I would however consider putting more of a space between scenes - break it up a bit, perhaps? Then again, perhaps that's how it should be! :p

 

 

Next you state the prisoners were released. surely escaped would be better? Was their "release" intentional then? Did the prison system let them go? Or did the escape by force?

 

I do, however, like the thought of a criminal supergroup! Sounds pretty badass

 

 

 

 

"Hey there, what can I get 'cha?" - I think this should be "What can I get ya?"

 

 

I'm actually her with my brother, and my sister. OOPS! :D

 

Later on there's a typo of "fryed" which i think is meant to be fried.

 

And lastly, the jacket slowed the bullet down - how exactly? What was it made of ?

 

 

 

 

Apart from that, this wasn't bad at all. I got into it as it went on. I liked the split perspective, seeing the Rose mafia escape and congregate helped give a sense of impending... something. Only think is i thought it felt a little rushed. Like why not show them walking into the tower and killing a security guard before heading up - a quick scene here and there just to show it - as it is there's a jump from them escaping prison to controlling a tower. I'd like to have seen part of that.

 

On the whole your writing is good though. A few, but not too many spelling or grammar errors. Layouts good - pretty much what I've seen in scripts, and you don't do a bad detail in conveying detail - I've not read many but when i do read scripts it's just a list.

Bob did this. Bob is there. - that's it. Here you've actually shown some details like clothing or whatever, which is good.

I'll check out part 2 soon.

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MacAshford
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#8

Posted 27 March 2014 - 06:17 PM

Huge thanks for the feedback :D 

 

About the codenames, the codenames were more of a speciality for the SRM members, as they are much more evolved and dangerous criminals than the typical car thief. The codenames are explained more in the later episodes, as is the 

 

I messed up with the falling thing, I'll edit that, sorry. :p 

 

I drew a quick doodle of the top down view of the hotel. 

 

QK0JOVI.jpg

 

I'll space scenes a bit more...

 

Again, about the released, I messed up, gonna edit it now. :p

 

I'll fix the typos and grammar mistakes too :)

 

The split perspective is there for the whole series, I think the main meaning of the story is how one person can affect and change another person. 

 

About that taking over of Soul Tower, Mason mentions it and sort of sets up a flashback of it during the Finale (Don't worry, that's not a story spoiler)

 

Thanks for all of the compliments, I couldn't have wrote this without all of the help from everyone here over the time I've been here. :D 

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MacAshford
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#9

Posted 27 March 2014 - 08:13 PM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:50 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x6)

"Monster"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN is sipping a fancy cocktail watching TV inside the massive beach house. His phone begins to ring, he takes his free hand and answers it, holding it up to his ear.

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

'Ello?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Greetings, Nathan. Listen up, carefully, this is Leone. Alex is beginning to piss me off, regardless of mine and his past, I won't think twice about killing him if he doesn't shut up. He's literally been moaning all day to me and Mason about wanting to leave Soul Tower. Basically, I'm ready to give you the commands. Right, the Delangeras is a small mafia. They really do prove that size doesn't matter, they have taken over this city with under fifty members. Mainly because the members are either highly trained or are ex-mercenaries. It runs on a very specific hierarchy. Right at the top, Damon Delangeras, the leader. Me and Damon were once very good friends until the alliance was shattered. Below him are his four siblings. If you waste the siblings then Damon is gonna come out of hiding. Killing Damon will destroy the mafia completely. So that leads to your first mission.

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

I'm intrigued, go on...

 

LEONE

(on phone)

One of the siblings, Nick Delangeras, he's running a gun smuggling operation, he stores the guns at a warehouse, downtown. Make it go boom-boom with him inside. I've had someone deliver a motorcycle and some C4 packages to your beach house, deal with this for me.

 

NATHAN puts the phone down and walks out of the beach house.

 

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN stands outside, he sees the yellow motorbike and hops onto it, placing the C4 packages tied to it into his jacket pockets. He speeds away into the sunshine.

 

EXT. DELANGERAS WAREHOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN stops the bike and steps off, he sneaks through the gates past dozens of weapon crates and guards, stopping at the warehouse door. He carefully slides the door open and steps in, taking cover behind a crate. NICK is stood leaning against a jeep filled with rocket launchers, stood next to him is a guard. NATHAN stops to listen to the conversation.

 

NICK

You ever think something bad is going to happen?

 

GUARD

Uh, I don't really know.

 

NICK

It's just a feeling that I get sometimes, I can't explain it.

 

GUARD

(looking at the open door)

Huh, that's weird, I closed that door.

 

NICK

(looking around the shadows)

Where are you? Who are you?

 

NATHAN silently places a C4 package before moving to a different crate to place another. He sneaks back out of the warehouse while NICK and the GUARD search the wrong shadows.

 

EXT. ROOFTOP OPPOSITE DELANGERAS WAREHOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN calls LEONE on his phone and holds it up to his left ear.

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

'Ey up?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Is it planted?

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

Yep.

 

NATHAN looks up to see the warehouse explode in to rubble and shards of scrap metal. The explosion is truly breathtaking, all in slow motion and whatnot.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

I gotta say, well done. Your next mission is pretty simple, go to the Fyah strip club and get a lap dance off Ellen Delangeras. She's another one of the sibling who works at the strip club in her spare time, she only picks the best looking guys for a special show. You're not what I'd call ugly so go for it. When she puts on her show, kill her and make it look like an accident. If you can't make it look like an accident then just sneak out.

 

NATHAN puts the phone down and sighs.

 

NATHAN

(to himself)

This is just as bad as working for Ben.

 

INT. BEN'S OFFICE - IPD - DAY

 

BENJAMIN is sat at his desk once again, looking at the smoke filled downtown area from his window. KIERAN walks in, drinking a cup of coffee.

 

BENJAMIN

I can't believe it, everything I've spent the last three years fixing has gone to sh*t in just a few days.

 

KIERAN

This isn't your fault, it's just a random set of events.

 

BENJAMIN

NO! I threw most of the f*cking police force at Nathan and still he kills them without a scratch on himself. I don't understand it, how the hell is he still alive?

 

KIERAN

I'm thinking you could have possibly kept him working for you to take down the SRM and Delangeras now, but it's too late.

 

BENJAMIN

I know, and from what I can tell, the opposite has happened. He's joined the SRM to take down the Delangeras and us. He's gonna destroy this city, I can see it now!

 

KIERAN

There's nothing you can do, this is over.

 

BENJAMIN

Wait, no, no it isn't. It's not over 'til either me or Nathan is dead. I'm calling in the army, the FBI, the SWAT teams, everything we can get. When he makes his move for me, I'll use them to take him down...

 

KIERAN

You're...you're...insane!

 

BENJAMIN

And that's exactly how I have to be in this situation.

 

INT. PRIVATE ROOM - FYAH - DAY

 

NATHAN is sat in the small room on a leather couch, ELLEN slowly walks in, with dollars stuffed into her lingerie. She bends over towards NATHAN and grabs his jacket, she unzips it and rubs her hands down his chest through his t-shirt. NATHAN smiles and takes a sip of water from the glass on the table beside him. He looks down at the varnished wood floor, then looks back up at ELLEN who is shaking her breasts in his face.

 

ELLEN

So is this your first time here then, cutie?

 

NATHAN

Uh, yeah, I'm new to town.

 

ELLEN

My advice is get out of this hell-hole as soon as you can.

 

NATHAN

Why?

 

ELLEN

It's nothing but trouble.

 

ELLEN sits on NATHAN's lap and begins to bounce up and down lightly.

 

NATHAN

How so?

 

ELLEN

Is that a gun in your pocket or- sh*t it's a gun.

 

ELLEN quickly stands up.

 

NATHAN

Listen, calm down. I'm a security guard at the airport, I just got off my shift. It's fine, look.

 

NATHAN takes the gun out and slides it along the floor to the other side of the room.

 

ELLEN

I thought you were trying to kill me.

 

NATHAN

Why would I do that?

 

ELLEN

Well, my family isn't exactly a group of angels.

 

NATHAN

Huh?

 

ELLEN

Can I trust you?

 

NATHAN

Most people don't but that's a different story.

 

ELLEN

(smiling)

Hah, I like you. I guess I might aswell tell you, my family are quite notorious. Well known in the criminal underworld.

 

NATHAN

That's nice.

 

ELLEN

It's not, I can barely see my brothers, most of them are always hiding out at some island resort far out at sea.

 

NATHAN

Oh, that's quite sad.

 

ELLEN resumes her dance by walking up to NATHAN and grinding against him.

 

ELLEN

I know...

 

NATHAN

You'll be with him pretty soon though...

 

NATHAN smacks the glass off the table, it shatters and causes a slippery puddle on the floor. NATHAN pushes ELLEN into the puddle, she slips and lands on the floor, breaking her neck in the process. NATHAN lets out an evil smile, showing him having less and less regard for other peoples' lives.

 

 

EXT. SOUL TOWER - DAY

 

NATHAN and LEONE are sat on a bench outside the SRM HQ.

 

NATHAN

They're dead, both of them.

 

LEONE

Great, then you only have three more targets until Alex is freed. I was thinking, after you've done these for me, I could introduce you to Mason. You've proven to be even better for us than Alex in the first era. A third leader position may be in store for you. Think about it, you'd be one of the riches people in this universe, owning your own islands. And if you thought taking over Ibarazi City was it for us then you're wrong, next stop is the rest of the world.

 

NATHAN

That's an amazing offer, I know I'll probably take it.

 

LEONE

Don't get too excited yet, we still have to take down the Delangeras aswell as an entire police force.

 

NATHAN

Right, Ellen said most of her brothers are at a resort out at sea.

 

LEONE

Excellent, that means Damon and Vic will be at there. The resort must be the Bolt Island Resort. It's a family resort, like a mini city. Well, there's a boat in the dock behind Soul Tower, have fun.

 

NATHAN

Tell Alex I said hi.

 

LEONE smiles and laughs as NATHAN walks away.

 

EXT. BEACH - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - NIGHT

 

NATHAN parks the purple speedboat on the beach and dashes out of it, towards a gazebo, hoping for shelter from the heavy rain. Once under the gazebo, he zips up his jacket and puts his hood up, he waits a few seconds for the rain to stop and walks along a pathway leading to the main reception building.

 

INT. RECEPTION BUILDING - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - NIGHT

 

NATHAN walks to the main desk and sees the employee, she is typing on a computer.

 

NATHAN

Uh, hey, my fishing boat sunk about a mile out, do you have any spare rooms I can stay in until the morning.

 

EMPLOYEE

I'm very sorry, sir but we're fully booked.

 

NATHAN

Oh, okay.

 

NATHAN wanders out of the building to a different pathway, with dozens of apartments on each side. He sees a man who looks like him walk out of one of the apartments. NATHAN quickly sneaks behind the man and strangles him, he drags him backwards into the room he came from.

 

INT. ROOM 369 - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - NIGHT

 

NATHAN switches into the dead guard's clothes. He notices his ID card that shows his name to be Ice Wrath.

 

NATHAN

(looking at ICE'S body)

Cool name, dude.

 

NATHAN takes the room keycard and locks the door, jumping onto the bed and falling asleep, not even caring about the body on the floor.

 

INT. ROOM 369 - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - DAY

 

NATHAN awakes and it doesn't seem to be that early yet still the sun is shining through the curtains. NATHAN steps out onto the balcony, reminiscing falling from one just over a week ago before the events that changed him. He hops over the balcony onto the shack below and jumps along the massage shack roofs until reaching the beach.

 

EXT. BEACH - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - DAY

 

There is a party at the beach, VIC is dancing with a young woman in the sand as rave music blasts. NATHAN walks over to him.

 

VIC

ICE! Your boy, Vic, needs a drink, pronto.

 

NATHAN

(thinking)

Hmm, I can't just kill him here, I need to find out where Damon is first.

 

VIC

Uh, hurry!

 

NATHAN

Alright, I have to deliver a package to Damon later, where will he be.

 

VIC

He'll be in his apartment down the other side of the beach. Now get my drink!

 

NATHAN

Sure.

 

NATHAN walks over to the bar, he takes a random drink from the table and secretly dissolves a mysterious tablet into it. He walks back over to VIC and hands him the drink.

 

NATHAN

(patting VIC on the back)

There you go, buddy.

 

NATHAN walks away as VIC begins to wobble and falls to the floor. The woman screams while NATHAN rushes along the beach.

 

EXT. DAMON'S APARTMENT - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - DAY

 

NATHAN is near the apartment, there are around thirty guards outside armed with mainly knives, they see him and circle him. The lead guard, JIMSON, walks over to NATHAN.

 

JIMSON

You think you can just walk right in here? Kill Damon? No, he knows you're not Ice. Guards found Ice's body in his room earlier, shortly after Vic was found dead on the beach. Damon is very annoyed.

 

JIMSON takes a samurai sword from the holder on his back and swings for NATHAN who dodges it and disarms JIMSON. NATHAN takes the samurai sword and slices JIMSON's head off in one clean swipe. Blood squirts everywhere, NATHAN gasping for breath as the thirty guards approaches him. He twirls and a circle, cutting up the guards as they run at him, stabbing the rest until they are all gone. DAMON runs out, unarmed.

 

DAMON

Just listen to me, MacCarthy. I know you're being forced to do this. Team with me and I'll protect you. You can go away from this city and never look back, I'm offering you freedom here. Freedom and as much  money as you can carry.

 

NATHAN

This isn't about money, this is about me. I don't want to be safe. I have no regard for myself and I'm starting to enjoy all of this danger. Working with the Sinned Rose Mafia is helping me realise who I really am.

 

DAMON

And who are you?

 

NATHAN

It's obvious, I'm a monster, we all are. Everyone on this god-damn Earth is a monster, I just don't hide away from it, I embrace it.

 

NATHAN throws the samurai sword and it sticks right into DAMON's head. NATHAN lets out a small giggle and walks away, his blue eyes going slightly red.


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

    /x/ lurker

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 29 Jun 2013
  • United-Nations

#10

Posted 30 March 2014 - 12:17 AM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:51 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x7)

"Well, That Was Unexpected"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. DAMON'S APARTMENT - BOLT ISLAND RESORT - MID DAY

 

NATHAN is walking away from DAMON's body, he hears a gasp coming from behind a wall. He quickly runs to the wall to see BENJAMIN witnessed the event. BENJAMIN dashes away, NATHAN follows him.

 

BENJAMIN

You're over, Nathan. I promise you, you'll be in the ground, Nathan!

 

NATHAN

I doubt that, I'm unstoppable, that's quite obvious by now.

 

BENJAMIN

f*ck you! It's like you take pride in what you're doing.

 

NATHAN

I am proud! Well excuse me for being a casualty of YOUR corrupt society.

 

BENJAMIN

(running faster than NATHAN)

Don't flip the blame on me! This is all your fault, the SRM and Delangeras would both be dead by now if you had just kept out of it.

 

NATHAN

No, they would have become allies. Ibarazi wouldn't have a police force anymore. Glowstone addicts filling the streets.

 

BENJAMIN

You're thinking you're the saviour but I don't think the body count really backs that up.

 

NATHAN

I am making this world a better place!

 

BENJAMIN

No, you're simply removing evil to make room for more evil. Two evils don't make a good.

 

NATHAN

I am your f*cking God!

 

EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT

 

BENJAMIN is driving a police speedboat, NATHAN is right behind him, racing the purple speedboat. BENJAMIN is clearly winning. They get closer to the city and enter the sewers. The race gets more suspenseful as they avoid sharp corners. BENJAMIN stops the boat next to a ladder. He quickly gets out and climbs the ladder. NATHAN stops his boat but it is too late, BENJAMIN is up the ladder and has locked the door. NATHAN starts the boat and in a rage, speeds away.

 

NATHAN

I swear, I'm going to f*cking kill him!

 

INT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN, KYLEM and LOREN are watching TV. NATHAN takes out his phone and dials LEONE.

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

It's done. Now, I think it's time for Alex to come back.

 

LEONE

(on phone)

Sure, that's okay. I'll send Alex back now. I see we have a mutual enemy, Benjamin.

 

NATHAN

(to phone)

Yes! Team up?

 

LEONE

(on phone)

You read my mind.

 

A loud electronic noise is heard outside.

 

NATHAN

(ending the call)

I'll call you back.

 

NATHAN runs outside, he sees a gigantic spaceship hovering right outside the beach house.

 

NATHAN

Holy...f*cking....sh*t!

 

An green ray comes down from the spaceship and raises NATHAN in the air.

 

INT. CELL - ALIEN SPACESHIP - DAY

 

NATHAN opens his eyes, he is tied to a bed in a jail-cell like room. A small green humanoid alien is stood over him, holding a scalpel, as the alien brings the scalpel down towards NATHAN, NATHAN gets his arms freed from the rope and sits up. He punches the alien repeatedly in the face until it collapses.

 

NATHAN

Oh my...

 

NATHAN gets his legs freed from the ropes. He climbs off the bed and looks around the futuristic room. Green and blue laser lights flash along the moving goo walls. NATHAN shakily steps out of the room to find a control room. He looks down at the controls which look quite simple. The alien is behind him, he goes to punch it again but stops upon hearing it's male English voice.

 

ALIEN

Wait!

 

NATHAN

Holy sh*t, you're a dude.

 

ALIEN

I can confirm I am a male. My name is Linx. I'm from the planet, Fliquaqre. I come in peace, sort of.

 

NATHAN

You was gonna kill me.

 

LINX

Well...I...yeah...I was kinda gonna kill you.

 

NATHAN

How are you talking in my language.

 

LINX

I know many languages and I can replicate accents perfectly. I won't kill you.

 

NATHAN

Uh thanks.

 

LINX

You are as intelligent than I imagined.

 

NATHAN

Thanks, again...

 

LINX

I'd like to do an experiment with you.

 

NATHAN

No way, lil' green dude.

 

LINX

I have a special drug crafted by myself. I call it Eftafo, it allows the user to gain many special abilities permanantly. I'm not sure about all of the abilities but that's where you come into this. I chose you specifically to be my test subject. You won't be harmed.

 

NATHAN

Uh, go for it then.

 

LINX takes out a vial and a injection needle. He places the needle into the vial and sucks up around half of the green liquid inside. He stabs NATHAN in the heart with the needle and squirts the liquid inside. NATHAN gasps and falls to the floor before standing up, his skin glowing very slightly green.

 

NATHAN

I feel weird as sh*t.

 

LINX

Calm down, that's supposed to happen until the abilities activate. Now, I'll take us back to Earth.

 

NATHAN

You're not getting away that easy, you abducted me and drugged me.

 

LINX

I forgot to mention, as my purpose for my planet has been fulfilled, I am now your, uh....slave.

 

NATHAN

I have an alien slave? Life couldn't get any better.

 

EXT.BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

The spaceship comes crashing down into the sand, coming to a stop without being destroyed. The door opens and NATHAN and LINX step out. LOREN and KYLEM are stood, "gobsmacked", looking at the huge metallic spaceship on the beach.

 

INT. BEN'S OFFICE - DAY

 

BENJAMIN is sat at his desk with KIERAN.

 

BENJAMIN

I seriously have no idea what the hell is going on! I placed a tiny listening device on NATHAN when he was working for us. I've been using it to work out where he is sometimes. I was listening in this morning and uh, he was abducted by aliens who are now his slaves or something. They gave him a drug for special abilities.

 

KIERAN

Boss, I think you're high.

 

BENJAMIN

No, I know this happened. Look over at private beach.

 

KIERAN

(looking out of the window to the far away beach where the spaceship is barely seeable)

That could be anything.

 

BENJAMIN

No, it has to be true.

 

KIERAN

So what does this mean?

 

BENJAMIN

It means I have to get that alien to inject me with it's drug. That way I'm equal to Nathan. So I'm gonna go down the beach later when Nathan is out. In other news, I need a new profile picture for my account on GTAForums. Wanna take a selfie with me?

 

KIERAN

GTAForums?

 

BENJAMIN

It's uh, a hobby of mine... I talk to some awesome people on it. There's Mokrie, Ziggy, Eminence, AceRay, Coat, Tyler, Tony... I could go on for hours, there's a ton of cool people on there. Except for a certain award-stealer but we all made up with him so it's fine.

 

KIERAN

Uh, okay... I thought your only hobby was pretending to write a novel on a laptop in coffee shop's for attention.

 

BENJAMIN

That's only a weekend thing...

 

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

LINX is walking along the beach, BENJAMIN sneaks behind him and grabs him by the throat.

 

BENJAMIN

Inject me!

 

LINX

Don't hurt me!

 

BENJAMIN

Then inject me.

 

BENJAMIN lets go of LINX who injects him with the vial. BENJAMIN's skin goes the same as NATHAN's.

 

BENJAMIN

Now, I think I'll send Nathan a message, I have a "burning desire" to.

 

 

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN and LOREN walk back to the beach house from the road leading to it. They notice the beach house is up in flames.

 

NATHAN

Kye!

 

NATHAN and LOREN dash towards the beach house. NATHAN's glow increases and he runs twice as fast until he stops at the beach house door and the glow fades, as does the speed. He kicks the door open and runs through the living room towards KYLEM who lays unconscious on the floor, with his clothing burning and his skin starting to get burnt. NATHAN pats the flames and puts them out, he picks KYLEM up and carries him out of the building, just as dozens of police cars approach the burning beach house.

 

LOREN speeds her sports car to the entrance of the beach house, NATHAN places KYLEM along the backseat and gets in the front seat.

 

NATHAN

Drive!

 

EXT. HIGHWAY - MID DAY

 

LOREN's car is speeding down the highway with dozens of police cars chasing it.

 

NATHAN

Are they ever going to f*cking leave us alone?

 

LOREN

Appears not...

 

NATHAN

Kye, are you okay?

 

KYLEM

(coughing)

The pain is too much, kill me.

 

NATHAN

You're gonna be okay, I promise.

 

KYLEM

(crying)

I won't, almost all of my body is covered in burns. My skin started to melt. This isn't looking good for me. The pain is unbearable. Shoot me, Nath. Please.

 

NATHAN

No! I can't just kill you!

 

KYLEM

Nathan, you've always been an amazing brother. Whenever I was down, you cheered me up. The amount of times you've saved my life is uncountable. You saved me because I had something to live for but now, I have nothing left.

 

An electronic ear piercing sound is heard as LINX flies the spaceship over the highway, firing his laser beams at most of the cars and destroying them. He flies away.

 

NATHAN

You have me and Loren, you have Ma back in Ireland. We're all gonna be rich and famous and have everything you've ever wanted.

 

KYLEM

I wanted innocence, I can't possibly have that now. You're a killer and you did this for us.

 

NATHAN

I did it for you, I want you to be happy. You're my brother and I love you. I want you to have everything you ever wanted.

 

KYLEM

I had everything I ever wanted and now it's all fading away. Just like my life.

 

NATHAN

NO!

 

KYLEM's eyes slowly close as his breathing stops.

 

NATHAN

Kye? KYE?!

 

LOREN

Is he okay?

 

NATHAN

(crying)

Stop the car!

 

LOREN

No, what's going on? Is he okay.

 

NATHAN grabs the steering wheel and spins the car around, to face the hundreds of police cars and SWAT cars coming towards them. NATHAN steps out of the car and stands in the road. The cars get much closer and the sirens get louder. NATHAN glows green, he puts his hands together and raises them up. The hundreds of cars raise off the road, a few feet in the air. NATHAN aggressively yanks his hands apart to either side of him. All of the cop cars and SWAT cars are tossed violently sidewards and off the highway into onto the streets below, some even going as far out as the sea. Big explosions are seen as NATHAN gets back in to the car. His green glow fades back to normal.

 

EXT. GALT HILL CEMETERY - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and LOREN cry as KYLEM's coffin is lowered into the ground atop the hill where only KYLEM's grave lies.

 

NATHAN

I will make sure his death is avenged.

 

LOREN

No, you are never killing anyone again. If you'd just stayed away from being a f*cking criminal then we would all be back in Ireland by now.

 

NATHAN

I've sacrificed enough to get this far, I'm killing Benjamin. This is final.

 

LOREN

(crying even louder)

You're a monster!

 

NATHAN

(walking away)

Tell me something I don't know.

 

EXT. SOUL TOWER - DAY

 

NATHAN, ALEX and LEONE are sat on a bench outside Soul Tower.

 

LEONE

One final tiny job for me, please, Nathan?

 

NATHAN

What now?! My brother just died, can't I get five minutes rest?

 

ALEX

Holy sh*t, Kylem? I'm sorry, dude.

 

LEONE

Sorry to hear that, but this is very important. I need you to meet up with Sergeant Burt Wrath over at the barracks, he has information on Benjamin's "final solution to cleaning the city". I would go but Mason and I have to clean the bloodstains out of the lobby again.

 

NATHAN

As long as it gets us closer to Benjamin, I'll do it.

 

LEONE

You might wanna get some medicine too, you look a little bit green.

 

NATHAN

Yeah, that's something else...

 

INT. BARRACKS - DAY

 

NATHAN walks in the barracks to find only one man, crying alone.

 

NATHAN

Sergeant Wrath?

 

BURT

I'm not crying!

 

NATHAN

I didn't say you was.

 

BURT

(looking at NATHAN)

Oh my, you look just like him.

 

NATHAN

Who?

 

BURT

My son, Ice. He was found dead a few days ago.

 

NATHAN

Oh, that's sad. My brother died yesterday.

 

BURT

(handing NATHAN the file)

Here's the documents.

 

NATHAN

Do you want to talk about your son?

 

BURT

He was such a good kid, he was on holiday at the time over on Bolt Island.

 

NATHAN

I've been there once.

 

BURT

I would do anything to see Ice again. I tried to kill myself to be with him again. I just couldn't do it in the end, it was too much pain.

 

NATHAN glows green, he places his hand on BURT's forehead. BURT happily smiles then closes his eyes. NATHAN's glow fades.

 

NATHAN

(a tear rolling down his face)

Now you're with him, I'm sorry for everything I've done to your family. Rest in peace, Mr Wrath. I hope you and your son enjoy heaven.

 

INT. MAIN OFFICE - SOUL TOWER - DAY

 

LEONE is stood looking out of the window in the main office, NATHAN is stood with him.

 

NATHAN

(handing the file over to LEONE)

I haven't read it yet.

 

LEONE

Perfect, I'll call Mason in and we can all read it together. Mason!

 

MASON walks into the room, without her mask on. NATHAN's heart pounds and races as he begins to hyperventilate, falling to the floor. His vision blurs. LEONE and MASON are stood facing each other, arguing while NATHAN is on the floor. NATHAN opens his eyes.

 

MASON

f*ck! Leone! Why did you bring him here?! He's supposed to be dead?! I thought we burnt him!

 

LEONE

He wasn't in the hotel at the time. Who do you think was taking out the Delangeras for us? Alex?

 

MASON

Exactly! Wait! He killed the Delangeras! He hasn't got a bad bone in him! He's a good person!

 

LEONE

Stop acting like you know him or something!

 

NATHAN

She does. Don't you Shannon.

 

NATHAN stands up, punches MASON/SHANNON in the face and charges out of Soul Tower.


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

    /x/ lurker

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 29 Jun 2013
  • United-Nations

#11

Posted 30 March 2014 - 02:09 AM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:52 AM.

Welcome To The End!

(1x8)

"Welcome To..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN is lay on the beach with ALEX.

 

NATHAN

I mean I can't f*cking believe it.

 

ALEX

She was that Shannon girl? Your wife?

 

NATHAN

Hell yeah! I don't know how she faked her death because I saw her body.

 

ALEX

You should talk to her, punching her in the face isn't going to help.

 

NATHAN

I just can't believe it.

 

ALEX

I can't believe you punched Maso-

 

NATHAN

-Shannon! Her name is Shannon! She used to be like an angel, I don't understand it!

 

ALEX

Some say even the devil was an angel, people change, sh*t happens, we adapt.

 

NATHAN

I thought she was happy with me.

 

ALEX

Talk to her, man, it's the only way you can fix this.

 

NATHAN

Sure, if you think it'll make the situation better. Although if she tries to defend what she did, I'll stab the c*nt right through the heart.

 

INT. MAIN OFFICE - SOUL TOWER - SUNSET

 

 MASON/SHANNON is sat facing NATHAN in the office. There is very awkward silence for a few seconds. NATHAN is obviously extremely angry.

 

SHANNON

I can explai-

 

NATHAN

No, why don't I try and explain. From what I can understand, you faked your death and became some criminal mastermind in a city halfway across the world.

 

SHANNON

I know it sounds bad but I really can explain. It was a sunday night, we were arguing about your mother staying for the weekend. I went out for a drink at McGinstons Tavern, Leone was there, alone. He bought me a drink, he could see I was quite poor. Anyway, I knew Leone from back when we were kids. He started telling me about how he is rich and he needs a driver for his next bank heist.

 

NATHAN

So you was the driver at the Blackghost Bank Robbery.

 

SHANNON

Yeah, the heist went a bit wrong but I ran in and saved Leone. The police knew my face then, I couldn't stay in town. Leone offered me a place in his small gang, the original SRM. I put my share of the money, the ten grand, in my will to you. Leone and I faked my death by blowing up a prostitute who looked a little bit like me. We figured you wouldn't tell the difference when she's in a pile of bloody goo on the floor.

 

NATHAN

Wait, you were killing people back in Ireland?

 

SHANNON

I liked having the control over who lives and who doesn't. I can tell that you like that control too. Back to my story... we hopped on a private jet to here where we mainly just did a couple of smash and grabs at a few stores. Slowly, we grew stronger and got more reckless. Alex was recruited at an underground rave, he was a valuable asset to us. One day in the spring, me and Leone planned a takeover of the IPD building. Alex told us it was impossible but we still tried. Benjamin and his wife busted us, Alex left the gang before the IPD incident so he remained free. On the way to the prison, Leone broke free and killed Benjamin's wife. Benjamin caught up with him and temporarily paralysed him.

 

NATHAN

This still doesn't explain why you left.

 

SHANNON

I left so that you could be safe. The cops would have surely arrested me and I knew that would tear us apart. I figured that once the SRM had full control over the city then I could try and meet you again.

 

NATHAN

Go back to your story, I wanna know exactly what happened.

 

SHANNON

Benjamin put us in Keegan Prison. Our old friends, the Delangeras Mafia had abandoned us. As soon as Leone regained control of his legs, we broke out. Soul Tower was our first mission. We took this place over, it was the HQ of some business but we just killed everyone inside. Next up was a mission we planned to get the IPD to notice us. Back then we were very philosophical, we had this strange feeling that we were somehow liberating the city.

 

NATHAN

That mission was the nightclub attack wasn't it.

 

SHANNON

Yeah, it was. I saw you and ordered Leone not to kill you. He had no idea who you was, he must have forgot. I can't even express the guilt that came over me once I saw you.

 

NATHAN

What about our hotel, you tried to kill me and my family.

 

SHANNON

That was Leone, I told him not to. I thought you were dead. Leone said that some of the survivors were still alive. I figured that meant Alex and that sister of his.

 

NATHAN

Hmmm, the thought of me being dead didn't seem to bother you that much.

 

SHANNON

Nay, don't twist my words.

 

NATHAN

Nathan! You lost all of the right to call me Nay when you f*cked me over and took off with Leone.

 

SHANNON

I didn't want to leave, I just couldn't take it anymore. You and I started at the bottom, now we're here.

 

NATHAN

No, now we're nowhere. "We're" nowhere. I am at the top, you're just a sneaky little bitch who skipped country and wasted her time trying to rise to the top. I've been here three weeks and I've made more progress than you have in two years, without getting myself arrested.

 

SHANNON

And "us", can we never be "us" again.

 

NATHAN

Hell no! I'm out of your league now, out of your planet even. Check this out.

 

NATHAN's green glow increases, he clicks his fingers and the gravity in the room is decreases. He jumps and floats around the room, pulling SHANNON with him. She doesn't seem impressed or shocked.

 

NATHAN

Well? Aren't you shocked?

 

SHANNON

I've seen stranger.

 

NATHAN

See, this is what you was like. Nothing impresses you, at least not for long. You strive for better, hell, you even made it the SRM motto.

 

SHANNON

Nay, you don't understand.

 

NATHAN

I do now. Whatever anyway, let's just forget about this for now. Our target is Benjamin. Just take note that when this is all over, I may kill you and Leone.

 

SHANNON

That's stupid, what would killing us solve?

 

NATHAN

I've already grieved for you so it makes no difference to me.

 

SHANNON

So you're just gonna kill us then go back to Ireland? We can make you rich, we can own the world.

 

NATHAN

I can own the world, I can do any of this singlehandedly. Hell, yesterday I threw about a hundred cars off the highway using my mind, I can handle anything.

 

SHANNON

You're gonna have a lot to handle 'cause I read the file earlier...

 

NATHAN

Which says?

 

SHANNON

Benjamin is going all out war on us. Thousands of IPD officers being recruited. Hundreds of FBI and SWAT members being added to the IPD emergency final solution. He's called in five thousand SOLDIERS, like actual army soldiers. Worst of all, he's getting ordinary citizens to join against you.

 

NATHAN

When is this "final solution"?

 

SHANNON

Whenever we make a move...

 

INT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

NATHAN, LEONE, ALEX and SHANNON are sat in the burnt beach house on wooden crates. LOREN and LINX are nowhere to be seen. LINX is implied to have flew away during the commotion on the highway. LOREN is just generally not there for some reason. NATHAN is instead sat on a burnt armchair, symbolising he is more important and powerful than the other. NATHAN's glow is normal as he isn't using an alien power.

 

NATHAN

Any suggestions?

 

ALEX

I say we just track his mobile and find where he's hiding. Kill him, pretty simple.

 

NATHAN

I'd like to see you try, he's sneaky, he hides his number so you can't track it. I say we lure him out, do something crazy enough to get his attention.

 

SHANNON

Destroy the IPD building?

 

NATHAN

Why not? But I mean something more insane. Firstly, I dress up as Benjamin. That allows people to see me as him. I can do just about anything and people will think that their beloved police chief did it.

 

SHANNON

Shoot the mayor as Benjamin?

 

NATHAN

No, I need the mayor on my side as Nathan.

 

LEONE

Cause a riot?

 

NATHAN

(pointing at Leone)

This f*cker gets it, I go on an insane rampage as Benjamin. I'm thinking assault rifling citizens in a public place in a cop uniform.

 

SHANNON

Whoa, you really have changed.

 

NATHAN

Maybe I can plant a bomb and throw Shannon on it, it'd be just like old times, eh, Leone?

 

SHANNON

Ha-de-f*cking-ha, Nathan, real clever remark that was.

 

NATHAN

Forgetting about that, after the rampage, the citizens will riot through the city. I use that as a distraction while I bomb the IPD building.

 

ALEX

That won't be much of a distraction, the IPD building will still be guarded. This'll just be like the first era all over again.

 

NATHAN

No, cause unlike these idiots, I'll be bombing by air. In-case you didn't catch my drift, I'll explain...we're stealing a military jet.

 

LEONE

What the f*ck are you on? That's impossible, you need to lay off the glowstone.

 

NATHAN

Ah, I'm not even at the best part yet, when we find Ben, we're gonna take him and private army of however many thousand trained members it has.

 

LEONE

There's no way that us four can kill thousands of people.

 

NATHAN

There just might be, I'll get creative and test the entire limits of these powers. Powers, haha, a week ago I'd have called myself insane for this sh*t. You know what really bothers me, all of this mad sh*t going on and people don't even seem to care how strange it is... they just seem to get on with their jobs. Like Loren, she's seen me, her innocent brother, murder thousands of people in the last few days. She's seen one of her brothers die, she's seen so much and still she seems to get over it a few seconds later... we all do. I just don't understand.

 

SHANNON

They say too much trauma can leave you in a state where you feel no emotions.

 

INT. BEACH HOUSE - MID DAY

 

The same people are in this scene as the previous scene, sat in the same places. NATHAN is dressed as BENJAMIN.

 

NATHAN

I feel like such a c*nt.

 

LEONE

You look like one too...

 

NATHAN

I know.

 

LEONE

Let's get you armed then you can do your lovely city square performance.

 

 

EXT. CITY SQUARE - MID DAY

 

There are a ton of businessmen walking back and too through the city square, aswell as tourists. NATHAN has the gun inside his BENJAMIN uniform, he pulls it out. The people scream as he mercilessly shoots them down, reloading and shooting more. Blood splatters and sprays everywhere, like urban graffiti along the sidewalks. NATHAN even lets out a tiny smile during his massacre. Eventually, he runs out of bullets and looks at the hundred or so bodies on the floor. He walks away as his blue but now a bit red irises change to fully red. The eye transformation, if you haven't noticed, symbolises how he is becoming more evil. It is also a reference to the vampires mentioned earlier in the series...

 

NATHAN

It is I, Benjamin Whatever-my-second-name-is, chief of police and all-around nobhead.

 

INT. BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT

 

The team are once again sat in their positions. NATHAN is dressed as himself again.

 

NATHAN

That was fun...

 

SHANNON

(looking at NATHAN in disgust)

Now for the bombing.

 

ALEX

Mind if I come, boss?

 

LEONE

HE isn't your boss, you're back in the SRM now, me and Mason are your boss.

 

NATHAN

Not exactly, I'm the third leader of the SRM, nice to meet you.

 

LEONE

f*ck off, no way!

 

NATHAN

Well, you don't have much choice.

 

LEONE jumps up and attempts to punch NATHAN who glows green. NATHAN dodges the punch and pushes his own hand away from himself. LEONE goes flying backwards into the decrepit and burnt wall. It shatters on the impact and LEONE lets out a groan.

 

LEONE

I think I may be paralysed again.

 

NATHAN

Get over it. Alex, come with me, you're helping me fly the jet. And steal it of course...

 

 

INT. BEN'S OFFICE - IPD - NIGHT

 

BENJAMIN is sat at his desk, KIERAN is sat with him.

 

BENJAMIN

Welp, it's almost over.

 

KIERAN

What do you mean, boss?

 

BENJAMIN

I mean, look outside, thousands of rioters tearing Ibarazi apart and burning it to the ground. Dozens of protesters outside this building wanting me dead.

 

KIERAN

(looking outside to see exactly what BEN just described)

Obviously, we need to take the chopper and get out of here.

 

BENJAMIN

That's the thing though, I've hiding around and popping in and out of here for a few days now. Sooner or later, Nathan's gonna figure that out. Right now, he thinks that I'm hid out in the mountains or something when really I'm right under his nose. All he'd have to do is sniff and he'd find me.

 

KIERAN

You don't smell that bad, boss.

 

BENJAMIN

Idiot, I meant it as a metaphor for search, not actually sniff. Infact, you know what, I need a professional now. I need a guard who has the brains as well as the brawn.

 

KIERAN

Wait, are you saying I'm sacked?

 

BENJAMIN

This may just be temporary but yes.

 

KIERAN

Well f*ck you, I'm finding Nathan and telling him where you are.

 

BENJAMIN

Try it, I won't be here when he gets here.

 

KIERAN

No, but I know where else you might be.

 

BENJAMIN

No, no, stop.

 

KIERAN storms out of the office, shaking his head in disbelief. BENJAMIN follows him but KIERAN has already disappeared, BENJAMIN goes up to the rooftop where a chopper is waiting for him.


Welcome To The End!

(1x9)

"...The End"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXT. AIRPORT - NIGHT

 

NATHAN and ALEX are sneaking around a military hangar, there are six guards around a fighter jet.

 

NATHAN

(standing up)

Ey boys, think you'd better go...

 

The guards turn and shoot at NATHAN who is glowing green and reflecting the bullets right back at the guards. NATHAN and ALEX get into the small silver jet.

 

INT. JET - NIGHT

 

NATHAN is sat at the front seat, his glow is gone.  ALEX is sat in the back seat, holding his own head in confusion.

 

ALEX

How the hell did you do that?

 

NATHAN

Finally, someone took an interest in something other than themselves or revenge. I have no idea, it just happens. I mean, sometimes I can control the powers but sometimes it's random.

 

ALEX

You know how to pilot one of these?

 

NATHAN

Nope, but it looks just like a videogame console controller so I guess it can't be that hard.

 

NATHAN starts up the jet and drives out of the hangar along the runway and takes off.

 

ALEX

This is a pretty "trill" situation we got going on here.

 

NATHAN

Sure is. Not too complicated, as soon as this happens, Ben's gonna be crawling out of his hiding place, begging us to take his life instead of his precious citizens' lives.

 

ALEX

Once he's dead, what'll we do?

 

NATHAN

I'm killing Leone and Shannon, I guess that was kinda obvious though.

 

ALEX

You can't kill them.

 

NATHAN

Oh I can, the two of them are powerless to me, I tossed Leone into a wall and almost paralysed him without even touching him. I could squash him like an ant.

 

ALEX

What-What about me?

 

NATHAN

Well, I said I'd probably kill you when this is over but despite the fact that you dragged me into all of this sh*t to start with. The fact that you were the indirect cause of my brother's death, my sister's hatred of me and my near suicidal attempts of becoming a god...I kinda like you. I feel that I can relate to you, I believe we think the same. Listen, I want you to marry my sister.

 

ALEX

What?!

 

NATHAN

You heard me, if this all goes wrong, I want you to be the one to protect her. She's all I have left in this hellhole.

 

ALEX

She hates me.

 

NATHAN

Dude, she totally has a crush on you.

 

ALEX

Really? I mean, I kinda like her too in that way.

 

NATHAN

Then go for it, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

 

ALEX

Well, sure, I'll give it a go.

 

NATHAN

(reaching over the seat to rub ALEX's hair)

That's my new brother.

 

ALEX

Ha, hey, are we nearly there yet.

 

ALEX looks out of the window to see they are directly above the IPD building.

 

ALEX

Drop it!

 

NATHAN

(hitting a button)

Done.

 

A medium sized bomb drops from the bottom of the jet, landing directly on top of the IPD building. As it lands, it explodes, creating a beautiful explosion. Debris bursts into the air as flames cover the whole property. The building is clearly destroyed, as is a few small buildings around it.

 

ALEX

Back to our future, what happens after I marry Loren though? Like do we just stay here?

 

NATHAN

Well, you, me and Loren will have total control over this city. We'll have it rebuilt, separated from the country to form its own small country. I'll be the president of it. You and I can go take over other countries and add them to our own. Well, I can do that as most of the time, you'll be here with Loren and my Ma. Oh yeah, I'm bringing my mother here, so be polite to her.

 

ALEX

Sure, that sounds awesome.

 

NATHAN

I'm not even up to the best part yet, you know what our next target is?

 

ALEX

No?

 

NATHAN

The Trinity Cites, more specifically, Hope City/

 

ALEX

I've heard it's nice over there.

 

NATHAN

Won't be for long.

 

INT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

 

The team are sat in their usual places.

 

SHANNON

I can't say you're handling this badly.

 

NATHAN

Because I'm taking care of our little crisis perfectly. No matter what anyone throws at me, I take it down. If I was in the SRM in the first era, there wouldn't have to be a second era.

 

LEONE

(sad)

Tell us about it, you'd have killed us all and claimed the SRM as your own or some other crazy sh*t like that.

 

NATHAN

I probably would have, but what's to stop me from doing that now?

 

SHANNON

Your conscience.

 

NATHAN

Ha, what conscience?

 

SHANNON

I know that deep down inside you, behind all the darkness, the real you is in there.

 

NATHAN

This is the real me, there was never darkness, there was only light that covered me up. See I am the thing of your nightmare, I'm the bad dream that you woke up and are still trapped in. Like I've said before, I'm a monster, and monster's aren't hiding in your closet or under your bed, they're hiding inside you.

 

NATHAN's phone rings, he answers it and puts it on speaker phone.

 

NATHAN

Well, hey there, unknown caller.

 

KIERAN

This is Kieran, I work for Benjamin. Or should I say, worked?

 

NATHAN

Ah, the ex-employee who wants revenge.

 

KIERAN

Too right, he sacked me for not hiding you from him good enough

 

NATHAN

Ah, so are you going to tell me where he is?

 

KIERAN

With pleasure, see the third turn off on the highway, take it, then follow the country lanes to the old mansions. Benjamin is the furthest one along the lane, right at the end. Oh and tell him Kieran said goodbye.

 

NATHAN

Will do.

 

NATHAN hangs up the call and tosses his phone at the wall.

 

NATHAN

Well, looks like we got work to do.

 

 

EXT. BEN'S COUNTRYSIDE MANSION - DAY

 

BEN is sat on a lounger, holding a glass of cheap wine as the sun shines down on his slightly green skin. A limousine approaches him and stops, just a few meters away from him.

 

BENJAMIN

Kieran? Is that you?

 

The team (NATHAN, ALEX, LEONE and SHANNON) get out of the car.

 

BENJAMIN

Well, I can't say I didn't expect this sooner or later. More later than now though.

 

NATHAN

It's over, Benjamin.

 

ALEX, LEONE and SHANNON take out their pistols and shoot BENJAMIN. His skin glows and he reflects the bullets back at ALEX, LEONE and SHANNON who luckily dodge them.

 

NATHAN

f*ck, you have the powers too?

 

BENJAMIN

I payed your little alien friend a visit.

 

NATHAN

I see.

 

BENJAMIN uses his telekinesis to toss SHANNON, ALEX and LEONE backwards, throwing them far out into a huge field. NATHAN runs at BENJAMIN who throws him back into the field with the others. The team stand up to see hundreds of helicopters, hundreds of police cars and thousands of enemies gathered around them.

 

LEONE

We're f*cked.

 

NATHAN

Nope, get down.

 

As the team crouch down, NATHAN raises his hands and lowers them quickly. All of the helicopters hurl out of the sky into the field, crushing a large amount of the enemies. Still, more are surrounding the team. NATHAN dives into the air and spins around, shooting fireballs out of his hands at groups of enemies. All of the enemies are dead so NATHAN approaches the mansion. BENJAMIN walks out.

 

BENJAMIN

Are you ready to know the see the full potential of this power?

 

BENJAMIN jumps up and flies into the air, literally flying and hovering without wings.

 

NATHAN

Looks like fun.

 

NATHAN dives up and begins to fly after BENJAMIN who is flying towards the city. After a not so lengthy chase, they reach the city. NATHAN grabs BENJAMIN and tosses him into a skyscraper, causing enough damage for it to topple into a cloud of rubble and dust. BENJAMIN flies at NATHAN and they have a mid air fight, NATHAN winning and punching BENJAMIN repeatedly in the face.

 

NATHAN

This isn't over.

 

NATHAN grabs unconscious BENJAMIN and flies with him to the cemetery.

 

EXT. GALT HILL CEMETERY - NIGHT

 

NATHAN drops BENJAMIN's body into one of the five dug graves next to KYLEM's grave. NATHAN goes back on his feet, meaning not flying and his glow fades. ALEX, LEONE and SHANNON are stood beside him.

 

NATHAN

(to BENJAMIN)

You, you killed my brother. I'm not going to drag out a last speech for you because you're not worth it. Basically, your over, this whole ton of sh*t is over.

 

NATHAN and ALEX shovel dirt into BENJAMIN's grave and quickly fill it up. ALEX takes a step away while NATHAN stands facing SHANNON and LEONE.

 

NATHAN

Leone, you stole my wife, simple as that.

 

Before LEONE can reply, NATHAN takes out his pistol and shoots LEONE right in the head, killing him instantly.

 

SHANNON

Nathan, what the hell?!

 

NATHAN

You, Shannon, I grieved you, I've been over your death before, so it won't hurt to be over it again. You betrayed me, simple as that.

 

NATHAN shoots SHANNON in the heart, to symbolising his heartache after the Ireland bombing. She falls to the floor, SHANNON is dead.

 

ALEX

I guess it's truly over now.

 

ALEX and NATHAN drop LEONE'S body into the second grave and fill it up. Doing the same with SHANNON'S into the third grave.

 

NATHAN

Wait, why did you dig five graves? I only told you to dig three?

 

ALEX

I did only dig thre-

 

A bullet goes through ALEX's head, NATHAN turns around to see LOREN standing, holding a pistol. She points it at NATHAN.

 

NATHAN

No! You can't do this!

 

LOREN

You, you're a monster. You're not even my brother anymore!

 

NATHAN

I am!

 

LOREN

No, you lost that when Kylem died because of you.

 

NATHAN

Ben killed him!

 

LOREN

Your actions killed him.

 

NATHAN

So what? You're gonna kill me? That makes you just as bad as I am!

 

LOREN

It doesn't, I don't take pride in it. Killing you will have me feeling guilty for the rest of my life. But it's worth it, to avenge the tens of thousands of deaths caused by you.

 

NATHAN

I can kill you now, I don't even have to touch you.

 

LOREN

No, you can't. I spoke with Linx, the powers aren't supposed to work on the user's family.

 

NATHAN

Damn, I wish you were adopted, right now.

 

LOREN

f*ck you, Nathan.

 

NATHAN

I had it planned out you know? The future.

 

LOREN

Oh really?

 

NATHAN

You were going to marry Alex, live here with him and Ma.

 

LOREN

For one, I hate Alex. For two, you think Ma would live here with you after she found out what you've done? She'd kill you herself!

 

NATHAN

Ha, shoot me! Go on! I'll be in your head for the rest of your life, watching every move you make and stalking you, forcing you to hate yourself and turn paranoid.

 

LOREN

f*ck you!

 

NATHAN

Nah, I wanna hear your plans for the future. What were your better ideas?

 

LOREN

You mean what I'm doing once I've ended the monster that I used to call my bro? Well, I'll go back to Ireland and bring Ma here to the graves, let her pay her respects to Kylem. Then I'm taking the money out of your bank and moving to Hope City, for a fresh start.

 

NATHAN

You do that, but that money, I got that doing bad things. That money is dirty.

 

LOREN

You think I care about how dirty the money is? Your the one who made it dirty in the first place. When you're cleansed, the money will be.

 

NATHAN

Cleanse me?

 

LOREN

Yeah, goodbye Nathan.

 

LOREN shoots NATHAN in the head, multiple times before tossing ALEX and NATHAN into the fourth and fifth grave and filling them up. She begins to cry as she gets into her nearby car and drives away into the sunset...

 

 

 

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WELL THAT'S IT FOLKS, I'm going to post a lot of dashes so that people don't see the ending if they post before reading it. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, stick around, there might just be a sequel coming soon....

 

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Mokrie Dela
  • Mokrie Dela

    МОКРЫЕДЕЛA

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 01 May 2009
  • None
  • Most Talented Writer 2013
    Best Story/Poem 2013 "The Storm"
    Story/Poem of the Year 2011 "Justice in Flames"
    Story/Poem of the Year 2010 "City of Lies"

#12

Posted 31 March 2014 - 10:41 PM

A few thoughts on the next part I've read (not all of it yet!)

 

I got to the bit with the abandoned house - the pool cleaner/ex owner scene. You describe it as disgusting, but i felt this was pointless. Disgusting is subjective. It's also an empty word since you describe the scene. It's such a small point, it's not worth editing that, so leave it in. Hell in script formats, perhaps it belongs...

 

I might have mentioned it before but add an extra space when you change scenes (well, i would) - would make it easier to read, personally.

 


What can I get 'cha?

 

JEWEL

Two Martini's and a job please?

I really liked this. :D

 

 

 

Not a bad read so far. I'm feeling nervous for Nathan and co, so good work!

  • MacAshford likes this

MacAshford
  • MacAshford

    /x/ lurker

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 29 Jun 2013
  • United-Nations

#13

Posted 31 March 2014 - 11:49 PM Edited by Vice President, 31 March 2014 - 11:59 PM.

Once again, huge thanks for the feedback and compliments, I'll get to adding the spaces right away :)

 

About that line, I didn't even notice it was good, which is strange because when I try to write cool dialogue, it doesn't work but when I don't it does. Confusing :p

 

I'm just going to add, without spoiling the story, you'll be dragged straight into the deep end of the story pretty soon, so be prepared, it's a dark and disturbing road ahead ;)

 

EDIT: It won't let me add the spaces at the minute, I'll have to do it tomorrow. Might have something to do with my terrible connection right now. :(


Ziggy455
  • Ziggy455

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#14

Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:07 AM

I'll give you some solid feedback but for the love of God make the font a little smaller. It looks so big right now. 


MacAshford
  • MacAshford

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#15

Posted 08 April 2014 - 12:46 AM Edited by Vice President, 08 April 2014 - 12:52 AM.

Thanks, sorry for the late reply, I'll get to editing it now, seems to be letting me change it finally :)





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