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Representative of Earth to Meet Aliens

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livejoker
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#1

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:02 PM Edited by livejoker, 22 March 2014 - 04:14 PM.

If Aliens do exist and they stumble upon earth and you were in charge of who to send out there to greet them and tell them about us, who would you send? Remember, you're in charge of humanity at this point and make a good impression. With that in mind, you can send anyone you want: yourself, friends, familiy, celebrities, known people, etc.

Please include why you'd send your pick to greet the strange lifeforms.

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Eris
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#2

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:03 PM

ludacris1.jpeg

 

We need our best and brightest. 

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#3

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:07 PM

Chuck Norris.


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#4

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:10 PM

Sees a UFO - ****Pulls out Bazzoka + RPG7 + GL = THIS IS FARTA!***


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#5

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:13 PM

Would it make a difference? We'd appear too primitive that it wouldn't even matter: they'd probably find all us screaming, hyper-emotional apes to be equally useful for their purposes. We wouldn't need a representative anyway, they could just jump on the internet. 

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Danz.
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#6

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:14 PM

This guy:

 

aliens-meme.jpeg

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Mr. House
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#7

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:15 PM

Me.


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#8

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:19 PM

Hard to choose, I'd say Professor Brian Cox would be a good bet so is David Attenborough. Stana Katic who is very lovely and also intelligent would not be too bad either.


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#9

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:21 PM Edited by WBaker, 22 March 2014 - 04:22 PM.

There is a school of thought that it would prudent to immediately begin an attack, for all the good that will do us, as they will most likely be a far advanced civilization who have their eye on our planet for habitation or resources.  So I nominate our representative to be our largest yield nuclear warhead.


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#10

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:22 PM

Nicolas Cage.

 

Doo8ZJq.jpg

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Melchior
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#11

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:32 PM

There is a school of thought that it would prudent to immediately begin an attack, for all the good that will do us, as they will most likely be a far advanced civilization who have their eye on our planet for habitation or resources.  So I nominate our representative to be our largest yield nuclear warhead.

Resources? Yeah like their space ships will run on oil. 

 

If they can make it this far and take at all the super-organised, bloodthirsty monkeys that make things explode, they're basically perfect and we'd have nothing to offer them.

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WBaker
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#12

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:40 PM

There is a school of thought that it would prudent to immediately begin an attack, for all the good that will do us, as they will most likely be a far advanced civilization who have their eye on our planet for habitation or resources.  So I nominate our representative to be our largest yield nuclear warhead.

Resources? Yeah like their space ships will run on oil. 
 
If they can make it this far and take at all the super-organised, bloodthirsty monkeys that make things explode, they're basically perfect and we'd have nothing to offer them.

Oil is just one resource, they might want an easy supply of water, slave labor, minerals, or metals. They may just want to hunt us for sport. We don't know why they're here and they didn't have the decency to call ahead. Nuke em all.

CatDog96
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#13

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:50 PM Edited by CatDog96, 22 March 2014 - 05:06 PM.

Don Cheadle

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Melchior
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#14

Posted 22 March 2014 - 04:58 PM

 

 

There is a school of thought that it would prudent to immediately begin an attack, for all the good that will do us, as they will most likely be a far advanced civilization who have their eye on our planet for habitation or resources.  So I nominate our representative to be our largest yield nuclear warhead.

Resources? Yeah like their space ships will run on oil. 
 
If they can make it this far and take at all the super-organised, bloodthirsty monkeys that make things explode, they're basically perfect and we'd have nothing to offer them.

Oil is just one resource, they might want an easy supply of water, slave labor, minerals, or metals. They may just want to hunt us for sport. We don't know why they're here and they didn't have the decency to call ahead. Nuke em all.

 

If they made it this far, and aren't afraid of us, than they haven't been relying on finite sources of anything you find on earth. They'd surely be capable of automation as well.


WBaker
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#15

Posted 22 March 2014 - 05:14 PM

If they made it this far, and aren't afraid of us, than they haven't been relying on finite sources of anything you find on earth. They'd surely be capable of automation as well.


I agree they'll most likely be capable of finding resources elsewhere and have automated systems but we already have the infrastructure and labor handy. It would be more efficient to use us as a turn-key operation rather than start from scratch mining asteroids or other planets. If our atmosphere is tolerable it'd be safer too. Slave labor would actually be a plus for humans, at least we wouldn't be immediately exterminated.

Also, maybe Earth isn't the aliens final destination and we're just a pit stop. Some sort of intergalactic gas station. Probes sent through the vast reaches of space may have visited before sentient life and this wasn't even planned to be hostile. But here they are, fresh from cryo-sleep, hadn't even had their morning coffee, and there are these damned dirty apes trashing their reststop. They might be real unpleasant about our unexpected presence, even though we think THEY'RE rude for not calling ahead.

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#16

Posted 22 March 2014 - 05:40 PM

I f*cking love gen-chat. This topic makes the Funny Picture Topic look like a bad joke.


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#17

Posted 22 March 2014 - 05:53 PM

This man right here, I know he'll f*ck up on first impression and would be taken away ( hooray ) and at least when he gets to his new home he can go and invade all the countries he want and take there oil. 

 

Bush_Addresses_the_Nation_on_Immigration

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livejoker
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#18

Posted 22 March 2014 - 06:00 PM

I'm seeing a lot of name and not a lot of reasons behind them. I put the explain bit in bold, hoping you guys would catch on. ;)


CatDog96
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#19

Posted 22 March 2014 - 06:09 PM

I don't think I even need to explain mine, Don Cheadle is the obvious choice and I'm pretty sure everyone was thinking of him before they even clicked on the topic.

 

1368018880_Don-Cheadle.jpg

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TheFoxRiverFugitive
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#20

Posted 22 March 2014 - 06:27 PM

I nominate Harrison Ford and Aerosmith.

 

90092_Harrison_Ford_Saves_the_World.gif

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WBaker
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#21

Posted 22 March 2014 - 06:44 PM Edited by WBaker, 22 March 2014 - 06:45 PM.

I'm seeing a lot of name and not a lot of reasons behind them. I put the explain bit in bold, hoping you guys would catch on. ;)


My representative was a nuclear warhead but the reasoning was a bit lengthy. You want I should embolden three posts?

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#22

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:04 PM Edited by Rainbow Party, 22 March 2014 - 07:09 PM.

EDIT!: I take that back, I agree with Danz. We should send an aliens expert.

 

But there are no aliens. God created Adam and Eve, not Alien and Eve.


livejoker
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#23

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:06 PM

 

I'm seeing a lot of name and not a lot of reasons behind them. I put the explain bit in bold, hoping you guys would catch on. ;)


My representative was a nuclear warhead but the reasoning was a bit lengthy. You want I should embolden three posts?

 

Good thing I said "not a lot", meaning, you know, few. If I can add to the debate, I was thinking and hoping to make it seem aliens would come to earth with no impression on us so we'd send someone to investigate/make us look friendly. Being wary of everything might be a human trait but we don't know if it's shared with other alien lifeforms...so keep that warhead hidden for now. :p


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#24

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:15 PM

Are Melchior and WBaker really debating the hypothetical resources of hypothetical alien life?


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#25

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:25 PM

Are Melchior and WBaker really debating the hypothetical resources of hypothetical alien life?

Hypothetically they are, yes.

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WBaker
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#26

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:27 PM

I'm seeing a lot of name and not a lot of reasons behind them. I put the explain bit in bold, hoping you guys would catch on. ;)


My representative was a nuclear warhead but the reasoning was a bit lengthy. You want I should embolden three posts?
Good thing I said "not a lot", meaning, you know, few. If I can add to the debate, I was thinking and hoping to make it seem aliens would come to earth with no impression on us so we'd send someone to investigate/make us look friendly. Being wary of everything might be a human trait but we don't know if it's shared with other alien lifeforms...so keep that warhead hidden for now. :p

That is certainly one valid way to go. Speak softly and carry a big stick. But our best weapons may be pretty ineffective in actual combat and a surprise attack could be our only hope. An advanced species with bad intent could be the end of humanity. That's one hell of a reason in the "pro" category for a preemptive strike. On the "con" side we could of course actually start a war that wouldn't have begun otherwise or destroy the first peaceful race we have encountered.

I imagine NATO and many individual counties already have contingency plans for first contact. At the very least it's a DEFCON 1 situation with all the nukes pointed and ready to go. But you'd think an advanced species that has mastered starflight would have no trouble swapping down any number if ICBMs fired at them if they knew it wasn't just a friendly spaceship sent to rendezvous and parlay.

In the scenario you laid out, the person responsible for first contact becomes responsible for ensuring the safety of the human race by extension with the distinct possibility the aliens are not friendlies. It's a hell of a burden, and when it comes down to brass tacks we must consider it may be us or them, that we must decide a course of action before we know the aliens intent, and our actions may have grave consequences.
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Frank Brown
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#27

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:27 PM

Well, here's my representative:

 

tumblr_mwsysn1hz61r3vz5fo1_250.gif


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#28

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:30 PM

Above all else we must hide the internet from them, lest they find 4chan and glass the entire planet.

 

That said, we only need 1 man.

 

VMQ0jQm.gif

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#29

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:43 PM Edited by Nipperkins, 22 March 2014 - 07:45 PM.

Just think if we sent in Will Smith and Sigourney Weaver? Those aliens would be so f*cked. 


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#30

Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:57 PM

Wesley Snipes. 





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