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Need help faking my own death.

112 replies to this topic
ClaudeSpeed1911
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#61

Posted 28 February 2014 - 04:56 AM

Just tell her to leave you alone and that you don't like her.


johnny_zoo
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#62

Posted 28 February 2014 - 08:03 AM

I want to see that pic too beauty can be subjective. 


Sentrion
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#63

Posted 28 February 2014 - 09:17 AM

Faking death is much over-rated. Just annoy her or talk a subject she hates. Much better.


Freakorama
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#64

Posted 28 February 2014 - 09:20 AM

Tell her crocodiles bit off your face.

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ska
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#65

Posted 28 February 2014 - 09:38 AM

I recommend having sex with her and then actually killing yourself. I think she'll get the point. Bonus points if you're still inside of her when you do it.

  • na89340qv0n34b09q340, drr26 and geobst like this

Moonshield
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#66

Posted 01 March 2014 - 09:37 AM

Did you tell her you were gay yet? If so, did that work???

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Crazyeighties
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#67

Posted 01 March 2014 - 10:48 AM

Companies have these things called human resources and bosses you can file a formal complaint, transfer to a new job, get a restraining order. But try talking to her first.

LittleBlueTroll
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#68

Posted 01 March 2014 - 12:59 PM

Shave your pubes off and hold them in your hand, smear your other hand with a strong glue. Approach her nicely and quickly wipe the glue all over her face, really mash it in there. Then really quickly blow the pubes all over her face, making them stick to her face, especially her eyes and lips.

 

Not really sure how this would solve the problem, but try it anyway.

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blitz
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#69

Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:30 PM

Kill her, a bit of arsenic on the corners of a book she reads will do the trick. Considering she's an avid reader, and she does the simultaneous finger lick. 

  • Shah Sam likes this

Fnorg
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#70

Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:51 PM

try telling her you're flattered but you're just not into her


Rented
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#71

Posted 01 March 2014 - 03:00 PM

You need to be rude with these ones, don't mention that she likes you just when you see her at work be like "Damn you again, I was about to eat then I saw your face."


SingingEwe954
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#72

Posted 01 March 2014 - 03:05 PM

Shave your pubes off and hold them in your hand, smear your other hand with a strong glue. Approach her nicely and quickly wipe the glue all over her face, really mash it in there. Then really quickly blow the pubes all over her face, making them stick to her face, especially her eyes and lips.
 
Not really sure how this would solve the problem, but try it anyway.

This is perfect

Bobsmith4321
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#73

Posted 01 March 2014 - 03:40 PM

Lock and ban this idiot OP.

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SingingEwe954
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#74

Posted 01 March 2014 - 03:44 PM Edited by SingingEwe954, 01 March 2014 - 03:44 PM.

Escuse me for agreeing with good ideas for him to get rid of this woman if your gonna call me an idiot please take it to a private message
And obviously you need a lesson on what OP stands for

Chase177
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#75

Posted 01 March 2014 - 04:02 PM

Take a dump on her desk, problem solved.


LIKE A BOSS!!!

Forty
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#76

Posted 01 March 2014 - 06:02 PM

Did you tell her you were gay yet? If so, did that work???


I never figured out what of mine was supposed to be gay. I got some sh*tty advice.
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mastershake616
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#77

Posted 02 March 2014 - 08:31 PM

Be a man and don't let an ugly co-worker cause you to do things like deleting social media accounts. You're letting her win, and that's a tad sad. 


Crazyeighties
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#78

Posted 03 March 2014 - 12:38 AM

Did you tell her you were gay yet? If so, did that work???

I never figured out what of mine was supposed to be gay. I got some sh*tty advice.


Well you did ask this on a Grand Theft Auto forum where 99% of members are likely 13 year old males
You had it coming to you to get sh*tty advice from people who have likely never had a serious relationship

Forty
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#79

Posted 03 March 2014 - 03:07 AM Edited by Forty, 03 March 2014 - 03:07 AM.

I know that. I've been here for over eleven years.

MarshalMoo
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#80

Posted 03 March 2014 - 03:10 AM

I know that. I've been here for over eleven years.

I'm sorry. Alternately, congratulations!

qGQYETy.gif


Geralt of Rivia
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#81

Posted 03 March 2014 - 03:26 AM

Straight up swamp donkey.

This had me crying. I don't know why, but it did.

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DMC14
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#82

Posted 03 March 2014 - 04:18 AM Edited by DMC14, 03 March 2014 - 04:43 AM.

dont be such a pussy and tell her to back off. if that doesnt work tell her to f*ck off.

 

and absolutely freak out when she touches you again. jump back a good couple of meters and scream dont f*cking touch me.


Forty
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#83

Posted 03 March 2014 - 04:21 AM

dont be such a pussy and tell her to back off. if that doesnt work tell her to f*ck off.


Thanks, bud. I care deeply for you.
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DMC14
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#84

Posted 03 March 2014 - 04:44 AM

 

dont be such a pussy and tell her to back off. if that doesnt work tell her to f*ck off.


Thanks, bud. I care deeply for you.

 

 

well if thats how you reply to her, its you're fault for sending mixed messages. stop being a pussy.


Forty
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#85

Posted 03 March 2014 - 04:52 AM

This thread was meant to generate some laughs and inspire entertaining replies, not engender douchebaggery.

You're welcome.
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DMC14
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#86

Posted 03 March 2014 - 05:14 AM Edited by Moonshield, 03 March 2014 - 02:37 PM.

what? you're a dick head. 

 

f*ck off and dont speak to me again (f*cking weird c*nt). you asked for advise i gave it , man up.

 

user was warned for this post


Harley
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#87

Posted 03 March 2014 - 05:27 AM

I bet the swamp donkey at work has a f*cking weird c*nt.
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Forty
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#88

Posted 03 March 2014 - 07:00 AM

what? you're a dick head. 
 
f*ck off and dont speak to me again (f*cking weird c*nt). you asked for advise i gave it , man up.


The entire thing is for laughs. Don't be dense. I wouldn't seek you out for anything in the future, rest assured.

@ Harley - It's probably a petrified forest down there.

Moth
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#89

Posted 03 March 2014 - 07:36 AM

Tell her you are really into Boku no Pico. Don't explain it, and tell her to google it. That should work.

 

 

Or just say your gay something is pregnant or something. 


Moonshield
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#90

Posted 03 March 2014 - 12:18 PM

Tell her you are really into Boku no Pico. Don't explain it, and tell her to google it. That should work.

 

That's something about sausage fingers and banging your cousin, right?





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