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Underwear advice from a pro

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Forty
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#1

Posted 23 February 2014 - 07:54 PM

When buying underwear, I consider four factors:

1.) Style
2.) Snugness
3.) Dick-hole
4.) Presentation

The style I usually go with is the boxer-brief. They are somewhat universally flattering and typically don't bunch in the crotchular region. I used to wear only boxers, somewhat loose-- but I found they didn't provide the scrotal support I require.

Snugness is a big factor in underwear selection-- but unfortunately, you can only judge snugness after you've bought them. I like a pair to stay snug on the hips and legs-- which prevents ride-ups and slip-downs. Also, keeping them a little tighter prevents your balls from slipping out the leg holes (I don't know if that's a problem for some of you, but it is for me as my balls are absurdly gargantuan).

The dick-hole is probably the most important factor for me when selecting a pair of undies. Now, there are two major schools of thought when it comes to the dick-hole: the overlapping flaps and the button. Both have advantages and drawbacks.

The advantage for the flaps is that it provides more support and sturdiness in the action zone; the drawback is that it lacks quick-draw capabilities-- I can't tell you how many times I've nearly pissed myself at night fumbling with the flaps.

Now, the button dick-hole provides amazing speed when pulling the bird out. However, over time, that button-hole wears out a little by little-- and before you know it, it doesn't stay buttoned. Then, all of a sudden, you're walking around in your underwear and your cock flips out.

Personally, I go with the flaps-- but it's just a judgment call.

Now, presentation; I believe there are four acceptable colors for men's underwear: black, grey, blue and white. White is a danger-zone for some men-- and you know why. Throw out those silly Joe Boxers with the smiley face and the dick-hole for a nose.

I like for my male bulge to be prominent, but not overwhelming. I've got a lot of taters and I need to present them artfully, with distinction and class. What you're looking for is a navel orange, not a grapefruit. A fist, not a boxing-glove. A ballerina slipper, not a clown shoe.
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gtarelatedusername2
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#2

Posted 23 February 2014 - 07:59 PM

Go commando or go home.

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universetwisters
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#3

Posted 23 February 2014 - 07:59 PM

I usually just buy boxers. I never got into briefs, or boxer-briefs for that matter.

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Forty
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#4

Posted 23 February 2014 - 08:00 PM

Go commando or go home.


Have some f*cking self respect.
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gtarelatedusername2
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#5

Posted 23 February 2014 - 08:04 PM

No.


Tyler
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#6

Posted 23 February 2014 - 08:08 PM

I would present a caveat to boxer-brief coloration: if one is having a special night with the significant other, they could appropriately display a more... jovial and perhaps eccentric taste in underwear. I've got a pair of mint-fragrant lime greens that I use for just this sort of occasion. Sure it's not everyday wear, but when you want to give someone a special night, you bring special underwear.


SingingEwe954
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#7

Posted 23 February 2014 - 09:39 PM

Frankly I go with boxer briefs because they give you support and wearing briefs just make you look like a faggot

Harley
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#8

Posted 23 February 2014 - 10:18 PM

You actually use the flap? Isn't it faster, easier, and much more comfortable to just pull down the waistband?
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The Yokel
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#9

Posted 23 February 2014 - 10:25 PM

Boxer briefs all the way. I usually go for black or white, or a combination. I do have one boxer briefs that are velvet purple with golden dollar signs all over 'em. That's for special occasions.


SingingEwe954
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#10

Posted 23 February 2014 - 10:27 PM

Boxer briefs all the way. I usually go for black or white, or a combination. I do have one boxer briefs that are velvet purple with golden dollar signs all over 'em. That's for special occasions.

That sounds nicer than my Walmart undies

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#11

Posted 23 February 2014 - 11:23 PM

Boxer briefs all the way. I usually go for black or white, or a combination.

 

100% agree. I do the exact same thing.

 

 

 

You actually use the flap? Isn't it faster, easier, and much more comfortable to just pull down the waistband?

 

It's what I do, never really thought about doing it any other way.


Forty
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#12

Posted 24 February 2014 - 01:41 AM

You actually use the flap? Isn't it faster, easier, and much more comfortable to just pull down the waistband?


Negative. Pulling down the waistband is a tad juvenile, and can lead to crimping of the urethra which can impede a smooth stream. That's when things get messy. It's classier, I feel, and less prone to splashing to use the flap.
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Vanzant
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#13

Posted 24 February 2014 - 01:47 AM

Wear swim trunks. They support the balls and make the pulling down the flap business simple. I'll also point out pulling the draw strings to hang loose outside the pants makes you look more relaxed.


Winning001
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#14

Posted 24 February 2014 - 01:51 AM

I go in my underwear drawer. I pick something. I wear it. 


SingingEwe954
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#15

Posted 24 February 2014 - 01:57 AM

I go in my underwear drawer. I pick something. I wear it.

A badass had entered the thread
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CatDog96
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#16

Posted 24 February 2014 - 01:59 AM

black, white, & excotic animal print boxer briefs with no dick flap.


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#17

Posted 24 February 2014 - 02:18 AM

Wear swim trunks. They support the balls and make the pulling down the flap business simple. I'll also point out pulling the draw strings to hang loose outside the pants makes you look more relaxed.

Funny, because whenever I buy swim trunks I simply remove that support part with scissors because they seem unconfortable to my balls.

 

For me it's boxer-brief, white or black and no dick flap, hell no.


SingingEwe954
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#18

Posted 24 February 2014 - 02:51 AM

But using the flap makes it easier than pulling your undoes down to your knees when you pizz

Harley
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#19

Posted 24 February 2014 - 03:22 AM

You actually use the flap? Isn't it faster, easier, and much more comfortable to just pull down the waistband?

Negative. Pulling down the waistband is a tad juvenile, and can lead to crimping of the urethra which can impede a smooth stream. That's when things get messy. It's classier, I feel, and less prone to splashing to use the flap.
If you've got a thumb on the waistband pulling it down, then there's no contact or chance of urethra crimping. I often leave it until the last second to take a leak, so when I run in I don't have time to mess around coaxing my dick through a flap.
Question - do you do the same with jeans and trousers?
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SingingEwe954
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#20

Posted 24 February 2014 - 03:24 AM

I do because the zipper is just like the flap you just got to hold it away from your dong so it don't get caught in the zipper

Forty
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#21

Posted 24 February 2014 - 03:34 AM

With the up-and-over method, you expose the crotchal region and open the door for potential splashback onto the backs of your hands.

In my personal experience, the more I can leave securely contained beneath my clothes, the better off I am.

SingingEwe954
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#22

Posted 24 February 2014 - 03:37 AM

With the up-and-over method, you expose the crotchal region and open the door for potential splashback onto the backs of your hands.

In my personal experience, the more I can leave securely contained beneath my clothes, the better off I am.

I think I just learned about 3 new words reading this post

Harley
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#23

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:00 AM

I can't say splashback is a frequent occurance for me. And even if it was, I wash my hands on the way out.

CatDog96
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#24

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:02 AM

But using the flap makes it easier than pulling your undoes down to your knees when you pizz

I don't think people pull them down to their knees, I just pull the front down past my balls.


Forty
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#25

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:03 AM Edited by Forty, 24 February 2014 - 04:04 AM.

Splashback is always a concern in public urinals, since their cavernous design does not coax the stream downward into the bowl, but backwards in a fine mist. This tends to collect on the front of your pants and/or hands if they find themselves in the region.

The only real way to counteract splashback due to shoddy urinal design is by pointing your penis downward and pissing directly into the bottom of the bowl, rather than along the back wall. However, this can be tricky if you don't have a tiny dick and are partial to the up-and-over.

Alternatively, you can use the flap.

Banana
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#26

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:08 AM Edited by Banana, 24 February 2014 - 04:11 AM.

Do you not wash your hands? A little drop on your hands, so what? Just wash them and get it over with. As for the undies; snug boxer briefs all the way. :^:

Panz
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#27

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:08 AM

You know, they make female underwear with zippers at the vag. My friend and I went through her sister's underwear drawer when we were like, 13, or something, and we were so bewildered.

 

I'm assuming it's not for bathroom purposes...but the slit was so tiny, and it was a metal zipper, so I really couldn't imagine any guy being willing enough to stick his little buddy in there. Maybe it's for dildos. I don't know.

 

If someone knows what this is for, please tell me. I've been dying to understand this for eight years now. 


Forty
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#28

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:12 AM Edited by Forty, 24 February 2014 - 04:14 AM.

You know, they make female underwear with zippers at the vag. My friend and I went through her sister's underwear drawer when we were like, 13, or something, and we were so bewildered.
 
I'm assuming it's not for bathroom purposes...but the slit was so tiny, and it was a metal zipper, so I really couldn't imagine any guy being willing enough to stick his little buddy in there. Maybe it's for dildos. I don't know.
 
If someone knows what this is for, please tell me. I've been dying to understand this for eight years now.


For kinky quickies. It allows the woman to wear underwear throughout her normal day, but not undress at the time of coitus. The metal zipper could definitely use a re-imagining in something less sharp and abrasive, but think about it - men's pants all have metal zippers and we stick our dicks out of them on the reg. It's not a concern unless the woman's labia are actual zippers. In that case, I'd need to see some ID before we humped.
 

Do you not wash your hands?


I definitely do, but I still prefer to minimize piss mist whenever possible. It may not be on your skin, but it's on your clothing and perhaps you'll be lucky enough to have a woman's face near there by day's end. She may be deterred by the faint aroma of urine.

Panz
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#29

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:20 AM

Yeah, but this zipper didn't even run down the top front. It was concealed to a vary small portion of the actual panties (like just below the vaginal area). I couldn't imagine a guy fitting anything in there and not scraping up the sides of his member during the quickie..Then again, I was young, so maybe I'm remembering it weirdly.

 

To contribute to the actual topic, all of the guys I've dated don't use the little dick slit in the boxers. They just pull down the waistband 'cuz it's faster. Most guys I know hate briefs as well, which is a shame. They're much sexier. :^:


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#30

Posted 24 February 2014 - 04:22 AM

I'm usually wearing boxers or going commando.

even at work.

 

because f*ck the police

 

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