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I do hookers.. Stories/Pics. ITS GOIN DOWN

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da_illest101
  • da_illest101

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#91

Posted 26 January 2014 - 05:49 AM

So I do hookers, yes. And I wanna see your sexy and ugly hookers. Please add a story and picture behind this random (or planned) meeting. Did it go down?

I will start off with my three most recent. You can do one if thats all you got. But this thread, is for the hoes.. LITERALLY.

 

 

Meet Rebecca, this 17.. I mean 18 year old hooker was standing on the corner of a convenient store in murietta heights, she wanted to take a look in my $100,000 Surano.. Knowing what this meant I jumped at the opportunity. Sadly this did NOT go down due to a friend invite.. But if she gave me the chance again, I would WAX THAT ASS TILL SHE SHOW ME WHAT SHE WORKIN WIT!!

3uxHeDO.jpg

 

 

Meet Samantha, This 23 year old Los Santos Native Hooker was actually shopping when I met her, so I gently leaned over and whispered in here ear.. Shut up and take your clothes off. Knowing that I was a baller because of my Banshee out front she knew what the deal was.. So I drove her to the back of a hangar in LSIA because you know, I own multiple planes.. HOWEVER Because of me accidentally pressing the Triangle button she went from, "Let me put it in my mouth" to, "you're a f*cking loser" instantaneously so this did NOT go down..  But I tell ya, if I see that skirt again its definitely going up, so it can GO DOWN.

q3lpGf6.jpg

 

 

Meet Jojo, this 27 year old hooker is a veteran, with Lips like that it was no wonder she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, and she showed me. After the mesmerizing sight we went to my car and all I could say was.. ITS GOIN DOWN!!

W7wDA1E.jpg

 

Meet Suzanne.. wait this isn't a hooker, its me EX!!! f*cking hooker, this gets no introduction!!

hv1xjrb.jpg

 

gorilla-rage-on-computer-meme-231256.png

  • Ninja_Gear, MsWolfe, SaturdayNight and 1 other like this

gtahighroller
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#92

Posted 26 January 2014 - 07:19 AM

no pictures but i prefer to take my hookers for a stunt jump and bail in mid air. its pretty damn funny sometimes

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Valdorien
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#93

Posted 26 January 2014 - 07:24 AM Edited by Valdorien, 26 January 2014 - 07:40 AM.

You know the epsilon guy that you see the first time you die in GTA Online. He gave you the ability to always respawn and go passive mode but he also said he slept with a lot of women as an exemple. This might maybe mean that you are immune to STD and stuff like that.

 

Phew. I tought my character caught em all after all the hookers I met.

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SaturdayNight
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#94

Posted 26 January 2014 - 09:02 AM

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 


MsWolfe
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#95

Posted 26 January 2014 - 09:05 AM

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 

 

Only reason people continue to view this thread is probably to laugh at all the posts. 

And at you.

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SaturdayNight
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#96

Posted 26 January 2014 - 09:08 AM

 

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 

 

Only reason people continue to view this thread is probably to laugh at all the posts. 

And at you.

 

 

You were successful at being presumptuous, a trait that serves you well. Good day. 


Ethereal_NYC
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#97

Posted 26 January 2014 - 10:54 AM

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stonedpimpso
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#98

Posted 26 January 2014 - 02:58 PM

Here a question. Can you pick up a hooker with a friend in the back seat of a 4 door. The snapmatic from the backseat might have a damn good view of the "action". Hookers Arnt that bashful right?

Lisha
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#99

Posted 26 January 2014 - 03:22 PM

Here a question. Can you pick up a hooker with a friend in the back seat of a 4 door. The snapmatic from the backseat might have a damn good view of the "action". Hookers Arnt that bashful right?

I heard that you can, I think I saw a post about it on reddit. Apparently the hooker will flip your friend(s) off though, lol.


da_illest101
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#100

Posted 26 January 2014 - 06:42 PM

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 

it's one thing to have virtual sex with a hooker in a game that let you do it, but to come up with stories about them, that's kinda sad.


MagicNarcosis
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#101

Posted 26 January 2014 - 06:47 PM

Sorry, all my bitches die after I poke.

 

That red hourglass on my back, type sh*t.


SaturdayNight
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#102

Posted 26 January 2014 - 07:01 PM

 

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 

it's one thing to have virtual sex with a hooker in a game that let you do it, but to come up with stories about them, that's kinda sad.

 

 

You call it sad, I call it practice.. Everything we do can be summed up as a precursor to something else. In this case my ability to form short stories. Now expand on this idea, do you have any idea the scope of the plans I am getting for a game that I will be soon creating? A few screenplays I am writing? Also when the mission creator comes I will have a field day. So sorry your brain does not compute the possibilities.

 

Let me clarify something for you, when you only see a surface rendition of an idea and only choose to see that surface rather than think long term, not only do you limit yourself but you dismiss any possibility of achieving any goals an a gargantuan level. So in my humble opinion, thats very sad.

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BurningChrome
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#103

Posted 26 January 2014 - 08:55 PM

Alright, alright everyone! Chill!

Remember Rule 34???

Here's a Bunny in the snow to help you chill . . .

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BurningChrome
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#104

Posted 26 January 2014 - 09:12 PM

 

 

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S
 
 
Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD.

it's one thing to have virtual sex with a hooker in a game that let you do it, but to come up with stories about them, that's kinda sad.

 

 
You call it sad, I call it practice.. Everything we do can be summed up as a precursor to something else. In this case my ability to form short stories. Now expand on this idea, do you have any idea the scope of the plans I am getting for a game that I will be soon creating? A few screenplays I am writing? Also when the mission creator comes I will have a field day. So sorry your brain does not compute the possibilities.
 
Let me clarify something for you, when you only see a surface rendition of an idea and only choose to see that surface rather than think long term, not only do you limit yourself but you dismiss any possibility of achieving any goals an a gargantuan level. So in my humble opinion, thats very sad.

 

 
Knock off the bullsh*t, Saturday, and get to the point! Lolol!

 

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=tvZ3cFO9f3I


gn1992
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#105

Posted 26 January 2014 - 09:15 PM

thats some hot ass high quality pixel bitches I see

 

dat virtual ass


EnclaveSGT
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#106

Posted 26 January 2014 - 11:21 PM

m7tkHeB.jpg

Oh look son, just over the horizon is another forum user who sees people leaving picture comments that are kind of funny first glance, then inserts his and then /threads the needle. 


BondageKitty
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#107

Posted 26 January 2014 - 11:32 PM

Curiosity I always had and some in this thread seem to be experts on. What is the difference between the last 2 prostitute services? I assume a different hole is implied.

_d3xt3r_
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#108

Posted 27 January 2014 - 04:06 AM

 

 

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 

it's one thing to have virtual sex with a hooker in a game that let you do it, but to come up with stories about them, that's kinda sad.

 

 

 

 

Let me clarify something for you, when you only see a surface rendition of an idea and only choose to see that surface rather than think long term, not only do you limit yourself but you dismiss any possibility of achieving any goals an a gargantuan level. So in my humble opinion, thats very sad.

 

 Rent-a-Obama Quote, yes ?


SaturdayNight
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#109

Posted 27 January 2014 - 04:11 AM

Curiosity I always had and some in this thread seem to be experts on. What is the difference between the last 2 prostitute services? I assume a different hole is implied.

 

Oh so thats what that was.... Ha ha! considering I'm not very big on butt sex thats very good, very good. 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S
 
 
Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD.

it's one thing to have virtual sex with a hooker in a game that let you do it, but to come up with stories about them, that's kinda sad.

 

 
You call it sad, I call it practice.. Everything we do can be summed up as a precursor to something else. In this case my ability to form short stories. Now expand on this idea, do you have any idea the scope of the plans I am getting for a game that I will be soon creating? A few screenplays I am writing? Also when the mission creator comes I will have a field day. So sorry your brain does not compute the possibilities.
 
Let me clarify something for you, when you only see a surface rendition of an idea and only choose to see that surface rather than think long term, not only do you limit yourself but you dismiss any possibility of achieving any goals an a gargantuan level. So in my humble opinion, thats very sad.

 

 
Knock off the bullsh*t, Saturday, and get to the point! Lolol!

 

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=tvZ3cFO9f3I

 

 

orApA2e.gif


SaturdayNight
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#110

Posted 27 January 2014 - 04:18 AM Edited by SaturdayNight, 27 January 2014 - 04:19 AM.

 

 

 

Thanks for everything guys. Haters gonna hate but they're still viewing this thread.. I don't like to be petty but... I WIN YOU LOSE MOTHERf*ckER...S

 

 

Also I'd like to point out that I did receive some "physical" treatment on the beach and someone sniped the hooker and I got blood all over me... To those who would question anything about me.. Its Grand Theft Auto, you're judging me about the same game you play. I'll have more up sometime when I find some super hot big booty juicy lips hooker who decided to give me VD. 

it's one thing to have virtual sex with a hooker in a game that let you do it, but to come up with stories about them, that's kinda sad.

 

 

 

 

Let me clarify something for you, when you only see a surface rendition of an idea and only choose to see that surface rather than think long term, not only do you limit yourself but you dismiss any possibility of achieving any goals an a gargantuan level. So in my humble opinion, thats very sad.

 

 Rent-a-Obama Quote, yes ?

 

 

 

So thats why you've been lurking around my thread after all this time.. Listen here bub. If you don't like me or my threads, then don't post. I see you liked other posts in this thread that were clearly against my ideals concerning my affinity for making fun of fake hookers but I assure YOU you're still important to someone.. Your wife, your kids, your parents, your friends, why harp over a bunch of words from someone for ALL you know isn't even real.. Or am I?????????? 

 

Oh and to not be one for politics I WILL answer you question. No, I made that up myself. Yes I am that intelligent.. Yes I just came off arrogant.. Yes I realize this.. Yes I am typing yes too much.. 

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_d3xt3r_
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#111

Posted 27 January 2014 - 04:23 AM

^

 

:D

xx


kailomonkey
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#112

Posted 27 January 2014 - 08:15 PM Edited by kailomonkey, 27 January 2014 - 08:47 PM.

I liked the opening post but you (the creator of it) really shouldn't bother fighting with people as that's not the point of the thread. However, with the posts against you and your retorting, at least you've had enough bumps to get the attention of a few more interested people...

 

i am a big fan of the prostitutes in GTA in general and have posted an idea before for prostitute based story-lines which adding a story to existing hoes reminds me of. The amount to which I focus on hoes in GTAO dwarfs your opening post in creepiness, but since it is possible to curb crawl in most GTA games I consider most characters to be prostitute stalkers. The fact that they only appear in certain places and at certain times and have a lot more to offer than the average pedestrian, offers a unique personal challenge and really brings the city to life for me, especially as the sun rises while you're still with the last ho you'll see for a whole ingame day... But I digest.

 

Here is a story made out of pictures based on some hoes:

 

 

It was the height of summer. Me and this ho were in love. We were both young and hot and her name was Sherri... I was so happy...

 

12177168125_5663aabf5d.jpg
01 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

 

Then someone messaged her this photo from an unknown number. I had just got the car so I was guilty as sin. She was really angry, threw me out and got to keep the dog. Who did this? I figured it must have been one of the other hoes all jealous over me.

 

12177576364_efb3d700cb.jpg
02 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

 

So I went on an angry killing spree of those I suspected...

 

12177389723_9843af8867.jpg
03 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

12177389713_0f81955d7d.jpg
04 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

12177784756_50a6ab01ed.jpg
05 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

 

But... then I found out the truth. My ex Traci took the photo. She didn't love me, she wasn't jealous, she was just a spiteful bitch!

 

12177576214_e7ce280cce.jpg
06 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

 

So I made her drink a big cup of monkey-aids. The End

 

12177576144_957768cdb1.jpg
07 by kailomonkey, on Flickr

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Ninja_Gear
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#113

Posted 27 January 2014 - 08:18 PM

I found my Chrome Adder making love to a hooker earlyer today...

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Quarthon
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#114

Posted A week ago

Anyone know where that thread is on taking Snapmatics of dead hookers go?


Synophrys
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#115

Posted A week ago

Love a good'ol gif thread. Had a good laugh.


The Cookie Monster
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#116

Posted A week ago

So much win with all the memes and GIFs :D
This reminds me of the thread where people would bang hookers then hold the controller to their crotch like a vibrator and enjoy it and then tell GTAForums about it.
EDIT: Here's that f*cked up thread that I was talking about:
http://gtaforums.com...ing-controller/


Lol, I remember posting a thread like that back in 2013
Good times, and it really made me wet

TexasToast712
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#117

Posted A week ago Edited by TexasToast712, A week ago.

Someone clearly needs to get laid. As for being on topic, none of the hookers in GTA V appeal to me. I dont like skinny barbies. We need some BBW hookers. Some of the larger pedestrian ladies in the game are fine as wine. Time to get some pics for reference.


UKPortista
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#118

Posted A week ago

I know it might be a squeeze but is there room for one more on the moral high ground?

GR Choke
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#119

Posted A week ago

These hoes aint loyal

Andreas
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#120

Posted A week ago

Well, this didn't need reviving, considering that the thread was spammed with utter nonsense and the fact that it's over a year old.




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