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S**t My Mechanic Does

96 replies to this topic
DannyMan
  • DannyMan

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#61

Posted 28 December 2013 - 03:57 AM

One time I called him to deliver my vehicle, he said someone was using it. So I look at the map, I'm in the city and I see the car driving all the way up north in Blaine County. I figured someone must have taken my car so I drive over there to take him out. I shoot him, drag him out of my car, to my surprise it's my f*cking mechanic. This piece of sh*t is joyriding in my car and when I tell him to deliver it he tells me he can't.

bullsh*t

Shadowlarvitar
  • Shadowlarvitar

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#62

Posted 28 December 2013 - 04:42 AM

Whenever I'm at the docks near Simeon's I call his lazy *** and he drives all around the crates trying to find a place to stop while I'm running after him.


Deadly Target
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#63

Posted 28 December 2013 - 04:56 AM

He always leaves the f*cking channel X

the mouth don't stop
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Drummin
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#64

Posted 28 December 2013 - 05:19 AM

Most of these are horror stories today. Pretty funny.

Today my mechanic was taking forever. I could see the car icon moving about. That's when a tank came from out of nowhere and just drove past me (passive mode). As soon as the tank left the mechanic drove up. Sure, my windows we're all blown out, but I got the car.

Lafbael
  • Lafbael

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#65

Posted 28 December 2013 - 05:39 AM Edited by Lafbael, 28 December 2013 - 05:40 AM.

When I called him one time, he stole my car and drove it all the way from La Mesa to the top of the map. When I got there he got out and called me an A**hole. Good times, yet it was very anooying. 


Camsterguy
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#66

Posted 28 December 2013 - 05:42 AM

I remember this one time, I had him deliver my Infernus on the highway, and he drove right past me, so I shot the car a bit, it caused him to panic and drive off of a stunt jump and land 20ft below on the other level of the highway... Bumpers missing, he asked "scratch was already there, right?". 

 

What next? I shot him with all of my 32 assault shotgun rounds, poured gas on him and shot him 2 times with a rocket launcher. After that I entered my Infernus and ran him over atleast 5 times. Did it teach him a lesson? Nope. He still leaves it on Channel X and still fails to deliver cars correctly.


SaturdayNight
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#67

Posted 28 December 2013 - 06:10 AM

"oh yeah, here comes my ca-- Where the f*ck is he going??!"

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JohnDRockefeller
  • JohnDRockefeller

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#68

Posted 28 December 2013 - 09:38 AM

Letter to my mechanic I pay u daily u malevolent f*ck ur not f*ckin available when f*cking ww3 is going on then when u finally do bring my sh*t u have the audacity to want to fight I got a special surprise for u u little co*ksucker MF next time I call I'll b on Davis st and when u pull up I'll start shooting wildly from where ur standing and start a gang war and watch the ballas shoot u dead then drag ur lifeless carcass to a dark dank back Ally where they will proceed to gang r*pe u like a horny pack of orcinus orca

Drajonu
  • Drajonu

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#69

Posted 28 December 2013 - 09:46 AM

I once called my mechanic so I could make a getaway from the cops and then he got scared by the gunshots and ended up mowing down like 6 cops with my Adder when he tried to speed off


wanes
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#70

Posted 28 December 2013 - 09:57 AM

Turn my car into a fighting ring

2me2652.jpg

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anticlimatic
  • anticlimatic

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#71

Posted 28 December 2013 - 10:47 AM

My mechanic drove my car into another player's tank. Guess who paid the insurance for replacing it?

 

No, that massive explosion wasn't already there fella...


EphemeralStar
  • EphemeralStar

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#72

Posted 28 December 2013 - 11:07 AM

Every single time, that same song, "They're f*cking with me!" (not sure if that's the actual name of the song, but it's the only phrase I remember) is on and it drives me insane. Not once has he not tried to start sh*t with me when he delivered it. I'll legit stand there, wait for him to get out and when I think it's okay he'll either get back in or as I try to get in he'll attack me. Lately he'll play games and will drive away if I run towards him but if I stop moving he'll drive back but leave it really far away from me. -_- so not amused. My other friends literally thought it was my fault and I just had to wait but I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences his shenanigans. 


Shaenno
  • Shaenno

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#73

Posted 28 December 2013 - 01:51 PM

Once I tried hopping in my car after the mechanic delivered it, he literally pulled me out of the car and while I was on the floor he was cursing at me while on his mobile phone..weirdest sh*t. Even my crew members were like "What the f*ck just happened?"  :bored:

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avfc1991
  • avfc1991

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#74

Posted 28 December 2013 - 01:52 PM

I think he's drunk or high most of the time.

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SKient
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#75

Posted 28 December 2013 - 01:54 PM

One day,I called my mechanic when I was near those train tracks at Davis.He spawned on the other side of the train tracks(at that time there was a train)and took a long way to get to me.When he came to me,I just gave him a falcon punch....since that day,I gave him a falcon punch everytime he delivers my rides....


CenMan
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#76

Posted 28 December 2013 - 01:58 PM

 

One time I called him to deliver my vehicle, he said someone was using it. So I look at the map, I'm in the city and I see the car driving all the way up north in Blaine County. I figured someone must have taken my car so I drive over there to take him out. I shoot him, drag him out of my car, to my surprise it's my f*cking mechanic. This piece of sh*t is joyriding in my car and when I tell him to deliver it he tells me he can't.

bullsh*t

 

 

Nope. But I imagine I'm not going to convince you, so suit yourself if you don't want to believe me.


Guizan
  • Guizan

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#77

Posted 28 December 2013 - 02:03 PM

I wonder if I can make a secondary character that looks like the mechanic...

murdockdm
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#78

Posted 28 December 2013 - 02:39 PM

This morning I called my mechanic for him to drop me off my Phoenix, i was over by the LSC by the airport and the effing moron left in side the barbed wire fenced-in parking lot. I said "are you f**king kidding me". He got out and started to wake away. I pulled out my sniper and snipped his ass. Next time you'll remember not to drop it off like that. I had to steal another car and bulldozer my way inside the fence. 


wolfp212
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#79

Posted 28 December 2013 - 02:44 PM

Called my mechanic this morning.  He got my car to me ok, but he was invisible.  Looked like the car drove itself, door opened and I heard the 'that scratch was already there line', but no mechanic.  Maybe he's been killed so much he's just a shadow of his former self lol.


ZeusMowat_278
  • ZeusMowat_278

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#80

Posted 28 December 2013 - 03:59 PM Edited by ZeusMowat_278, 28 December 2013 - 04:01 PM.

I was in Sandy Shores a few hours ago when I called the mechanic to deliver my Exemplar, idiot parked near the tracks where I was & he was hit by a train as he was taking a photo of my car :')
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YourAMiz1900
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#81

Posted 28 December 2013 - 04:05 PM

My Mechanic loves to either A: Run me over with my own damn car, or B: Likes to run it into random buildings/cars when trying to park >.> lol


MoTK70
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#82

Posted 28 December 2013 - 09:32 PM

had the mechanic leave car inside the union depository vault (from single player heist mission) today


SavageSalad
  • SavageSalad

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#83

Posted 28 December 2013 - 09:46 PM

"I'll bring it by."

 

Proceeds to drive past me on the highway at full speed then eventually parks it somewhere a mile away.


Lupin III
  • Lupin III

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#84

Posted 29 December 2013 - 09:24 AM Edited by Lupin III, 29 December 2013 - 09:28 AM.

f*ck Radio X!

Someone is mad that R* didn't put his Lady gagsalot and beiber on the playlist. It's okay kiddo, maybe when they learn to have talent they might get featured.
Because the only type of music that exists in this world is Punk and Bieber right? f*cking idiot.

Lowdown is where it's at.

Sir Michael
  • Sir Michael

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#85

Posted 29 December 2013 - 09:33 AM Edited by SirMichaelRocks23, 29 December 2013 - 09:36 AM.

LMAO @ people calling Channel X emo.

It's 70's Punk Rock. Agent Orange and Black Flag had songs in Tony Hawk and Skate.

But I called him one time, and he drives right into the midst of a tank battle. I ended up paying the insurance, for some reason. ._.


JumpingKentFlash
  • JumpingKentFlash

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#86

Posted 29 December 2013 - 01:11 PM

When he brings a car for me, I always knock him out, get in the car and leave. He must be pretty broke to take that every single time. For 50$ a day he goes to Paleto Bay, get knocked out by his boss, left to take the bus home for his own money, only to do it all again a few hours later. Around the clock sh*t job if you ask me, but if that's what gets his rocks off, I'm not complaining.
Oh, if you have problems with him delivering your car, just stand on the road right off the curb, and call him from there. He always delivers. If he goes full speed past you he'll come back a minute later.

Zwenkwiel
  • Zwenkwiel

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#87

Posted 29 December 2013 - 03:59 PM

mothef*cker tried to fight me

 

0_0.jpg

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Alex64892
  • Alex64892

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#88

Posted 29 December 2013 - 04:36 PM Edited by Alex64892, 29 December 2013 - 04:37 PM.

Sometimes when I call the mechanic he either leaves the car on the other side of the map or spawns, drives past me, then despawns and tells me he can't bring it right now. It gets annoying after three tries of calling him.

FJack
  • FJack

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#89

Posted 29 December 2013 - 05:04 PM

Called him then seconds later I hear a horrible sound of metal being shredded but the map marker was barely moving right on my character. He was above me on the highway ramp trying to drive over the barrier and the sound didn't stop until I found him, I even had to kick him out of the car.

Then to top it off as soon as I reversed I noticed my cars front end falling apart all over the highway.

I guess if I were a GTA mechanic I would do the same to make more profit.

anakinroy
  • anakinroy

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#90

Posted 29 December 2013 - 05:12 PM

lately

i observed my mechanic despawned as soon as he open the car door and i was very near





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