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Whats your favorite GTA IV quote?

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  • daliakiller

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 12:02 AM


Random NPC, 2008

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 08:52 AM

We are scooter brothers.

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Posted 11 January 2014 - 11:06 AM


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Posted 18 January 2014 - 02:29 PM

Psst, Reptilians is taking over.


They dun killed another truth seeker.


It's my sperm not yours Reptilian.


Random bum, 2008.

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Posted 18 January 2014 - 03:08 PM

Well, cum to america! 

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Posted 18 January 2014 - 06:56 PM

"Cousin...It's your cousin!"


"Ladies, hide your titties"


"This city is like a big Üder Milken Ice Cream Shop: 36 flavors of titties"





                                                     -Roman Bellic, 2008.

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Posted 19 January 2014 - 07:22 PM

Roman: We are going to die. I don't want to die, man! Not like this!

Niko: How would you like to die? 

Roman: Having a threesome on my hundredth birthday. I don't f*cking know! I'm scared you cold bastard.


Brucie: Do you wanna learn something, or do you wanna make fun? 

Niko: Make fun. 


Packie: Oh here he is, Mr f*cking Crazy Man...you wanna beer? 

Niko: No. 

Packie: Good, Cause I ain't f*cking got none!

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Posted 20 January 2014 - 12:33 AM

Andrei: Try again

Niko: Okay.  Your daddy likes it up the ass.


Vlad: What's your name again?

Niko: Big Mouth Pr*ck.

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Posted 21 January 2014 - 02:36 PM

Niko, lets go bowling!

  • Jeansowaty

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 05:46 PM Edited by Jeansowaty, 04 February 2014 - 12:02 PM.

''You know, for a dumb yokel you're a very funny guy''

''Yes, and for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick''

Or something like that.

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 02:59 AM

"I am a vulnerable guy who needs to be held by big strong arms?!" Niko's reaction and tone of voice was brilliant.

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  • Ermac


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Posted 27 January 2014 - 03:07 AM

"Minkov is dead. The country is safe."


The way Niko says it so nonchalantly makes me chuckle every time.

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  • tcfanatic

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 05:03 PM

"Pay your f****n rent like any other normal f****n American person would!"

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 11:20 PM

Gerald McReary:


"Don't bother leaving me a message because I ain't gonna listen to it, and I sure as 5h1t ain't going to return your call. F*ck off!"

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 09:56 AM

"I'm gonna get so much pussy tonight " - Roman
" You walked in with one bro" - Luis

"she was always the Save the world, special needs type" - Luis
"yeah, special need to jump on my dick" -Herique

"Cousin, it is your cousin" - Roman
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Posted 28 January 2014 - 06:57 PM

Packie: There's no problem. Gerry just likes to think he knows best about everything...which is why he's been married three times already and still won't admit he likes men.

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  • namor


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Posted 28 January 2014 - 09:45 PM Edited by namor, 28 January 2014 - 09:46 PM.

Niko: Eh, you're a big boy Vladdy.

Roman: Niko!

Niko: Well, I guess this is over.

Roman: What have you done?

Niko: What does it look like?

Roman: We're dead!

Roman: No, he's dead... we're fine.


Roman: My God, for a sociopathic killer you're also a really miserable bastard!


Roman: Why are you telling me this now? Do you always get sentimental after you kill people?



Gordon: So, are you in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?

Niko: Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.


Street Hamburger Vendor: C'mon! They're not gray when they're cooked!


Cop: One squeeze and you're wearing your balls for earrings!


Packie: What do ya think of Niko, Gracie?
Grace Ancelotti: F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you.

Packie: Gracie, you're sweet.


Phil Bell: ... the thing about Ray is he's a good earner. He talks a lot of sh*t, but he's a good earner, capiche?

Niko: He's a rat, a rat doing an impression of a man.


Radio DJ: To think those halfwits call themselves musicians. I puke better melodies than that, well I did last night....


Dimitri: I want to buy you a present.
Niko: Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?



Played this so many times I must know the script by heart. GTA IV has to be the most sharply written and amusing game in the series. Niko's dialogues with his friends when they go out is consistently both witty and funny. It makes me sad the way that V turned out. Whatever R^ spent on the game, I take it that getting a decent script writer wasn't in the budget, there was nothing remotely amusing in the game.

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 09:51 PM

ULPC: My wife had better stop sleeping with that tennis coach or..... I'm joking.


Niko: I'm sure your wife doesn't need to sleep around.... I'm joking, I'm sure she does!

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  • tehSpitefulPotato

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 10:20 AM


I guess I didn't get the job.

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 11:07 PM

1. Roman: Oooh Mystery man!


2. Eddie low: Do you like to get spanked? I do (it went something like that)


3. Yusuf: Ladies, prepare to suffer! 

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  • Jeansowaty

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 12:14 PM

1.''You know, for a dumb yokel you're a very funny guy''
 ''Yes, and for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick''
 "Well, it's a real shame, then, that I'm the guy with the powerful friends, and YOU'RE THE LITTLE PUNK WHOSE ONLY FRIEND IS SOME FAT WEASEL  WHO DRIVES A f*ckING CAB!"
-Vlad and Niko
3."You've been a bad boy Mr. Balkan, and the boss is not happy!"
 "Oh no, I sh*t my pants!"
 "Not yet, but you will...who are you working for?"
 "Err... my cousin Roman. Don't be an idiot!"
 "That's not good enough. I'm going to saw your f*cking arm off! SPEAK!"
 "Okay, okay... your dad likes it up the ass... what do you want me to say, huh?"
-Andrei and Niko
These quotes crack me up, I just had to quote the first one one more time :D
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  • SilentSeas

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 12:36 AM Edited by 02fishera, 05 February 2014 - 12:36 AM.

Random hobo - "This isn't pinball!"


Roman - "Baby, when I look into your eyes, it means something. I see little Roman's, I see little Mallories. I see stars, I see angels. In my old country, we have a saying..."

Random Taxi Driver - "Yeah, we have one too. You're a fag!"

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Posted 05 February 2014 - 12:43 PM

That Random taxi driver is Roman's Cab driver aka Muhammad ^^

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 04:15 PM

"War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other"- Niko Bellic (That one has always stuck with me,i dont know why)

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 06:39 PM Edited by TheUnholy, 20 February 2014 - 06:40 PM.

"The world's a c*nt!" - Jimmy Pegorino


"When I was in the army... we were going on a mission... to ambush a squad who had killed a lot of innocent people. They were our enemies... but we never did it. There were fifteen of us. All boys from the village. But one of us betrayed the group. It was a setup... for money! Twelve people died, three escaped. I know the traitor was not me... So for ten years I've been searching for the other two. One of them lives here." - Niko Bellic


"You're excused, comrade. You're excused, now go and mine salt for fifty years..." - Brian Meech


"Some lawyer. This big, white shoe firm. Thinks he's a crusader. Some morality c*nt who takes photos of guys in the shower at the gym and then jacks off on his wife's face. Some..." - Francis McReary


Niko: Down for what?

Michael: Down for robbing a thief.

Gordon: Robin Hood.


"This is Patrick McReary. I... probably don't remember who you are or giving you my number. Ladies, I'm sorry, it was a one night stand." - Packie McReary


"I'll let you tell me what to do, when you stop shoving half of Bolivia up your nose every Saturday night!" - Derrick McReary


"Oh, a lot of things. Racketeering, armed robbery, bunch of sh*t I never did cause I was always a well behaved family man who occasionally liked a drink, but nothing more." - Gerry McReary

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  • Niobium

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 07:05 PM Edited by nobum62, 21 February 2014 - 03:36 AM.

roman on the phone: no, I'm not gay.

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  • Cebra


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Posted 21 February 2014 - 02:21 AM

Sure. I tend to remember most of these by heart after playing the game 37 times.


Brucie Kibbutz: That cousin of the guy you killed, Lyle Rivas, owes me a lot of money. And the dick won't pay. Instead he said he's going to have me killed, that bitch. Hi-yah! *Brucie headbutts a wall and Niko and Roman exchange awkward glances*


Random gay guy on phone: Yeah, I finally tried a slippery nipple! And you know what? It reminded me of your slippery nipple! *geekish laughter*


Gracie Ancelotti: I'll scratch your f*ckin' eyes out!

Niko Bellic: Scratch my f*cking balls, bitch.


Niko: (Upon getting a strike in bowling) I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel!


Mohammed: So, am I taking you to a big drug deal or some sh*t, my friend? You got a package of snow strapped to your chest? You didn't think I was down with that game, huh? I done all kinds of crazy sh*t. I only got this job to make the wife shut up.


Random crazy guy: (Upon being pushed by Niko) Mommy, is that you inside that man?


Niko: (Upon picking up a prostitute) Let's go somewhere quieter, baby. I'd prefer to get an STD in private.


Kate McReary: But aren't you going to introduce us?

Packie McReary: Sure. This is Niko, some drug dealing de-f*ckin'-generate from some armpit in Eastern Europe.


Niko: (After being ordered to go on another job from Ray) No! I keep doing these favors for you and you pay sh*t. I need this from you. A guarantee that you will find this man. I know he's in the city. So either you give me your word or go f*ck yourself, I'm sick of this sh*t!


Roman Bellic: My God, for a sociopathic killer you're also a really miserable bastard, Niko!


You know, reading and remembering these makes me realize that Niko wasn't the cold, quite hitman I'd been imagining him as for so long. He's got his moments.

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  • Bonkai

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Posted 22 February 2014 - 09:04 PM Edited by Bonkai, 22 February 2014 - 09:04 PM.


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Posted 22 February 2014 - 09:31 PM

Some random ped ones:


"I wish my wife still sucked my cock, I guess I'll have to stick with the whores!"

"Yeah man, you said it!"


[On the phone- TBOGT] "You should have seen the hound I woke up next to this morning. Mouse!"

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Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:50 PM

Jim and Johnny talking to Brian:


Jim: What a baby.

Johnny: Yeah, and your babysitter Billy's on the inside now.

So it's bed time for you motherf*cker.

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