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Damn even CRACKED.com is roasting V

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Lil ski
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#1

Posted 01 December 2013 - 02:24 AM

http://www.cracked.c...-actually-suck/

 

I mean, I do agree on some of his points to an extent but damn. Like the comedy part, I mean I know the talk radio stations kinda suck but the story dialog alone is some of the funniest writing I've ever heard in a video game. but w/e.


woggleman
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#2

Posted 01 December 2013 - 02:50 AM

They ripped IV even worse back in the day.


Death2Drugs
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#3

Posted 01 December 2013 - 02:54 AM Edited by Death2Drugs, 01 December 2013 - 02:55 AM.

Well, as the saying goes, you can't satisfy everyone.

 

I personally think people need to get off Rockstar's back. GTA V had a huge amount of expectations. Not only that, but R* had other projects during that time (L.A. Noire, Max Payne 3, Agent, GTA for mobile, should be noted Mafia II, though not a R* game, was a Take-Two game and Take Two wanted to hype that game as well). Plus, people were rambling with all sorts of questions and wishlists. People wanted V to come out as soon as possible, and don't forget the next-gen consoles as well. For a game that had to made on limited hardware, you really have to forgive them.

 

Maybe we shouldn't make wishlists. There are laws which prohibit people from taking others' ideas without their consent, even if that's what we want Rockstar to do.

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Zodape
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#4

Posted 01 December 2013 - 02:57 AM

202535.jpg?v=0

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woggleman
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#5

Posted 01 December 2013 - 02:59 AM

Next time around R just need to do whatever the hell they want and people like it or they don't. They tried to please the IV haters and now people either have a newfound love for IV or some people whine that it isn't like Saints Row which is a direction I never want GTA to go. Just shut out the rest of the world and make the game you truly want to make.


Ermac.
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#6

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:39 AM

To put it as eloquently as possible, they f*cking nailed it on the torture scene.


woggleman
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#7

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:41 AM

To put it as eloquently as possible, they f*cking nailed it on the torture scene.

With all the bad things you do in this game why do people get all butthurt over a torture scene. The game is rated M for a reason you know.


Ermac.
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#8

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:47 AM

 

To put it as eloquently as possible, they f*cking nailed it on the torture scene.

With all the bad things you do in this game why do people get all butthurt over a torture scene. The game is rated M for a reason you know.

 

*shrug* It didn't bother me, the problem I had with it was the aftermath where Trevor tells Mr. K that torture is wrong and is an ineffective way to get information. It was stupid to say the very least.


Zodape
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#9

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:58 AM

 

 

To put it as eloquently as possible, they f*cking nailed it on the torture scene.

With all the bad things you do in this game why do people get all butthurt over a torture scene. The game is rated M for a reason you know.

 

*shrug* It didn't bother me, the problem I had with it was the aftermath where Trevor tells Mr. K that torture is wrong and is an ineffective way to get information. It was stupid to say the very least.

 

I think it was suppossed to be funny.

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lizardman563
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#10

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:06 AM Edited by lizardman563, 01 December 2013 - 04:14 AM.

I just read an article where a crying liberal, IN THE SAME SENTENCE, complains about the alleged "mean-spirit" and "outrageous" mocking of LA by GTA V, accuses R* of being bullies, and then goes on to blame the government shut-down on republicans and call them all gay-haters.

 

 

LOL.

 

The hypocrisy, it's.. 

 

I don't even - ..

 

 

What?! 

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Lil ski
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#11

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:15 AM

202535.jpg?v=0

Does THAT look like a face you could trust??! :lol:

 

 

 

but yeah anyways, I love reading CRACKED.com, they always have funny articles, especially Seanbaby but damn this has got to be his worst article. Not because he heavily criticized GTA V (which I really don't care anymore, I'm used to it on this site) but the fact that it wasn't a remotely funny article and just a whinefest. Something that he is not known to write.

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DeafMetal
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#12

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:31 AM

It's the biggest game ever released at this point, so ofc they're gonna take a whack at it. Kinda surprised it took them this long. And good to see Seanbaby back, he's a good author, Cracked has gone to sh*t recently with f*cking idiots being allowed to make articles to push their agendas with unfunny material.


Zodape
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#13

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:44 AM

 

Does THAT look like a face you could trust??! :lol:

 

 

His face is screaming at me that his favourite radio station is Channel X.


woggleman
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#14

Posted 01 December 2013 - 05:37 AM

202535.jpg?v=0

He looks like that crackhead from Crazy Town who was on that celebrity rehab show.


WBaker
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#15

Posted 01 December 2013 - 07:23 AM

Cracked has gone to sh*t recently with f*cking idiots being allowed to make articles to push their agendas with unfunny material.


That sums up this article minus the agenda bit.

redx165
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#16

Posted 01 December 2013 - 08:04 AM

Well, as the saying goes, you can't satisfy everyone.

 

I personally think people need to get off Rockstar's back. GTA V had a huge amount of expectations. Not only that, but R* had other projects during that time (L.A. Noire, Max Payne 3, Agent, GTA for mobile, should be noted Mafia II, though not a R* game, was a Take-Two game and Take Two wanted to hype that game as well). Plus, people were rambling with all sorts of questions and wishlists. People wanted V to come out as soon as possible, and don't forget the next-gen consoles as well. For a game that had to made on limited hardware, you really have to forgive them.

 

Maybe we shouldn't make wishlists. There are laws which prohibit people from taking others' ideas without their consent, even if that's what we want Rockstar to do.

You make it seem like Rockstar only has one development team. 

LA Noire wasn't even made by Rockstar

Max Payne 3 wasn't made by Rockstar North

Agent we have no news on that. That can be a lost title

GTA Mobile is ported by other developers

 

Quit sucking Rockstar dick for once and see they f*cked up big time. You don't have to forgive them cause we spend money on a incomplete game. Cut Content here, Online exclusive here. They knew what they were doing from the start and that's to milk all of our money. Then they hope fanboys like you will make them seem like gods to gaming. They might not be as bad as Activision and EA but they're up there. 

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B Dawg
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#17

Posted 01 December 2013 - 10:02 AM

I really loved those GTA V creative process recreations :lol:


Fuzzknuckles
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#18

Posted 01 December 2013 - 11:30 AM

Author of that topic needs to get laid, he's really quite uptight.


WorldWideFM
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#19

Posted 01 December 2013 - 01:20 PM

Well, they roast it, but still go on to say it's worth a perfect score and is the best game of all time. It's not exactly a damning criticism is it? 

 

And some of the things on there make sense, but others really don't. Who cares if white British writers are making their black characters use the n word? Who cares if GTA has a torture mission? Worthless sanctimonious left-wing rambling is all that is.

 

Still, some of it makes sense. 

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Tilemaxx
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#20

Posted 01 December 2013 - 01:41 PM Edited by Tilemaxx, 01 December 2013 - 01:41 PM.

"If you are not playing the black character, a taxi will arrive 15 to 30 seconds later."


Is that legit?

Empty World
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#21

Posted 01 December 2013 - 01:44 PM

202535.jpg?v=0

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stobe187
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#22

Posted 01 December 2013 - 01:52 PM

Cracked is making fun of something? STOP THE PRESS HOLY sh*t


Giles Flaggot 1
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#23

Posted 01 December 2013 - 01:56 PM

I don't agree with anything the author wrote.
The taxi thing especially, it's not that bad.

The game is definitely not flawless but he tries to justify his bad points (which is almost essay length)
by putting a line or two worth of good points.

He should have mentioned how Trevor turns into a scorned, bitter, spiteful prick after he finds out Michael is alive, Trevor becomes a whining bitch from then up until the end of the game - that and Franklin messed up the story for me.

RyanBurnsRed
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#24

Posted 01 December 2013 - 02:03 PM

Well, as the saying goes, you can't satisfy everyone.

 

I personally think people need to get off Rockstar's back. GTA V had a huge amount of expectations. Not only that, but R* had other projects during that time (L.A. Noire, Max Payne 3, Agent, GTA for mobile, should be noted Mafia II, though not a R* game, was a Take-Two game and Take Two wanted to hype that game as well). Plus, people were rambling with all sorts of questions and wishlists. People wanted V to come out as soon as possible, and don't forget the next-gen consoles as well. For a game that had to made on limited hardware, you really have to forgive them.

 

Maybe we shouldn't make wishlists. There are laws which prohibit people from taking others' ideas without their consent, even if that's what we want Rockstar to do.

 

GTA for mobile was ported by a different company. Max Payne 3 was developed by Rockstar Vancouver with help from Rockstar San Diego, LA Noire was developed mostly by Team Bondi with help from Rockstar San Diego and Rockstar North . I haven't heard any word about Agent since July. http://gamerant.com/...lled-trademark/ They say it's not dead, but who is to say they are working on it? No solid proof until there are credible sources that say otherwise.

 

Also GTA V was mostly developed by Rockstar North with help from San Diego.

The reason why San Diego is helping all these other studios, is because they are the ones that made the RAGE engine. 


bish0p2004
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#25

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:07 PM

What's funny is if you read the comments section, you see people complaining about certain aspects of the game (like we do here), but the fanyboys here would have you believe that the only people complaining about the game are only on this forum.


Luddite
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#26

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:14 PM

That's what satirists do.

When Satuuday Night Live makes fun of something is when it starts to matter.

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#27

Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:40 PM Edited by Official General, 01 December 2013 - 03:41 PM.

Do you like playing video darts? Of course you don't. Who would? But you can! Plus yoga! And car towing. Dog training. Photography. Cargo crane operation. Underwater welding.
 
It seems like GTA V stole its game design from a trade school commercial. There are so, so many boring activities you're required or at least encouraged to do, and they're separated by miles and miles of collectibles-free highway. 
 

 

I could not have agreed with this more. That guy was spot on. 

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Sting4S
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#28

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:10 PM

but the story dialog alone is some of the funniest writing I've ever heard in a video game.

Its not even close to be honest.


woggleman
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#29

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:21 PM

I am pretty sure it is black voice actors saying the N word.


Zodape
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#30

Posted 01 December 2013 - 04:44 PM

Do you like playing video darts? Of course you don't. Who would? But you can! Plus yoga! And car towing. Dog training. Photography. Cargo crane operation. Underwater welding.
 
It seems like GTA V stole its game design from a trade school commercial. There are so, so many boring activities you're required or at least encouraged to do, and they're separated by miles and miles of collectibles-free highway. 
 
Read more: http://www.cracked.c.../#ixzz2mEpHSzGc

 
I could not have agreed with this more. That guy was spot on. 

I do agree with this. Side activities are completely stupid and no crime related.
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