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Have you ever been in jail?

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  • SouthLand


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Posted 28 November 2013 - 03:20 PM

Not as a visitor but as an inmate. If so, please if you feel like it, share your story. I'll share my story later.

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  • Crazyeighties

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 03:22 PM

No, I have never even had as much as a parking ticket

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 03:24 PM

I have.. I was 8 and got a tour of the local police station, they locked me up and even took my finger prints.. Thinking about it, I'm kinda f**ked if I decide to start a criminal career now..
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  • Majestic81

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 03:29 PM

Going to jail where i live would be a death sentence, so i tried to avoid it as much as i can.


Honestly i dont think you will find a lot of people who went to prison on gtaforums..

  • SouthLand


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Posted 28 November 2013 - 03:57 PM

Getting arrested


Back when I was 16, I was having very rough times at my house. My parents where arguing all the time, and I spent most of the time hanging out with my neighbourhood mates just to avoid seeing my parents fight. I ended up joining a group of people my age and a bit older who were no good. Alcohol, hash and weed every day with my “friends” after school. Then it was the shoplifting, Vandalism, Theft, Disorderly Conduct, Stealing mopeds, Stealing cars, driving without a car licence, speeding… I spent some nights in a police station cell but since I was a minor, I didn’t get go to jail although I got a record. I got kicked out of school for getting caught smoking hash on the top part of the building.

I continued with my stupidity until things went wrong when I turned 18. I was with one of my “friends” and a couple of drunk idiots started messing around with us, we started a fight 2 against 2 until I beat the crap of one guy leaving him unconscious. A witness saw us and called the police. When I left the guy on the floor unconscious, I left until a police car approached me and blocked my way. Two police officers stepped out of the Patrol car with the witness who saw all the fight and he confirmed I matched the description and I was the one who left the guy K.O.  I was handcuffed and arrested. I spent the night in a cell and the next day I was put into a police car and taken to court for a fast trial where I was sentenced to a year in prison (For the fight and since I had a record that also made the judge put me in prison).


My life in Prison


When I was heading to prison I was scared as sh*t because I thought it was like the American movies in which you get picked on for being the new guy around and you get raped and stuff. I don’t know in other countries but, in Spain that’s a myth. Every time some new guy is sentenced in prison, the inmates are happy because that means new people around and new story to hear and share to why they ended up here. In prison everyone acts like a family and if you screw up, all the inmates pay the consequences by the guards which that means; not allowed to watch TV, Family and friends are not allowed to come visit…



I will continue a bit later explaining how things work in prison.  If you have any questions feel free to ask.

  • headmetalbanger


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Posted 28 November 2013 - 04:10 PM

Never, but I was near when was more young to go jail prison for minors.

  • Lazerface

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 04:47 PM

I spent a night in jail for trespassing on a construction site and climbing their crane, someone saw me on top of the crane and called the cops. Mind you this was around 4 AM so I assume that guy had nothing better to do than look for crane climbers. I called a friend who bailed me out the next day and the fact that I managed not to get my parents involved was nothing short of a miracle since I was still a minor.

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 04:52 PM

Back last year in school when some dude pulled a knife on me, the cop at the school questioned me about it and put me in handcuffs until they found out that there were witnesses to the dude to see the dude pulling the knife on me. It was pretty scary, to be honest and legit.

  • Kiffster

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 04:56 PM

No never. Never been in trouble with the law (except for a speeding ticket or two :p ). Only time I've ever set foot in jail was on Robben Island (which is now a museum btw)..


  • ShadowDog94

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 06:47 PM

The only time I ever got in trouble with the law was when I was about 15. I had the house to myself so I started blaring music right into the middle of the night. Someone must have heard it because the cops were called to my door the next day. Needless to say I learned my lesson  :cool:

  • iiConTr0v3rSYx

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:10 PM

I'm above and beyond the law. They fear me as much as each and everyone one of you do.


Lay out my damn red carpet. Now!

  • GunWrath

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:22 PM

Multiple times.. rather not share the details.

  • Lazerface

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:33 PM

I'm above and beyond the law. They fear me as much as each and everyone one of you do.
Lay out my damn red carpet. Now!

"I never broke the law! I am the law!"

  • RoadRunner71

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:35 PM


I will continue a bit later explaining how things work in prison.  If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Did you have access to internet/TV in jail? Were the cells opened during the day?

  • GTA_stu

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 08:12 PM

Nope I've never been in prison, I've never been in trouble with the law. Thank god too. Pretty face and scrawny body like mine, boy I'd get passed around like salsa dip at a chip party. Chip parties do exist. They would batter both my ends, my ass and face would just be 2 large pulpy messes, each with the same sized hole. The big cheese of the prison would probably do a dancing bear style job on me, and pull my teeth and nails out. But obviously instead of making me dance, he just pimps me out for half a pack of cigs, and you get me alone for 20 minutes in the back of his cell. Which actually might include dancing, it depends what the guy that's paying is into.

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  • WBaker


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Posted 28 November 2013 - 08:13 PM

Multiple times.. rather not share the details.

  • SouthLand


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Posted 29 November 2013 - 10:53 AM



I will continue a bit later explaining how things work in prison.  If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Did you have access to internet/TV in jail? Were the cells opened during the day?


Yes, we did have access to Television. We had a big room where there was a Projector connected to a TV and we were allowed to watch stuff if we behaved well. For example, the Football matches FC Barcelona - Real Madrid, the "Capanadas" in new year's eve... I watched the 2010 World Cup final in Jail and we all went crazy after Iniesta's goal, even the guards :lol:

We didn't have Internet connexion but we had many magazines, books, and newspapers we could read every day if (again) we behaved correctly. Visitor's could bring you stuff also and that included books. You can't even imagine how much value porn magazines are worth in jail... But that will come on the second part of my story.


Cells were NEVER open, the only time we were all together, was four times a day: Morning recess, Lunch, afternoon recess and dinner.


I will explain the worse part of prison the next time. I f you have any question feel free to ask.

  • trip


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Posted 29 November 2013 - 08:50 PM

1982 spent the night in the drunk tank as an underage drinker while they tracked down my mother to pick me up.

That was my only real brush with the law.

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 09:16 PM

Never been inside myself, but I know a few guys who have...and they all say the same thing - "it's no deterrent". The only thing they said really bothered them was no internet access, and how they missed a nice cold beer.

Hardline Britain, eh...

  • Tacymist

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 10:04 PM

Nope, but I've been to an old prison that was turned into a museum and you were free to roam about and enter the cells and such.


My only brush with the law was when I was being an idiot with firecrackers in the park. Someone called the police and they must've reported it as gun fire because next thing I know I was being flanked by officers with their guns out. They completely caught me off guard, and I ruined a perfectly good pair of underwear that day.

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  • Pyrrhic

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 10:39 PM

Yes, it is called a catholic high school.
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  • 161isaiah161

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 11:00 PM


  • WBaker


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Posted 30 November 2013 - 12:50 AM

Keep in mind jail is different than prison. You can go to jail if you forget about a speeding ticket.

  • 3Hunt

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Posted 30 November 2013 - 05:14 AM Edited by 3Hunt, 30 November 2013 - 05:26 AM.

I hit a woman. Yup. Some bitch went on fighting with my mom. My adrenaline went up and I attacked her so bad, she begged me to stop. Her face was bashed right. Three months at the age of 15.





Nah I'm just kidding.

  • GtaIvFanboy

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Posted 30 November 2013 - 05:34 AM Edited by GtaIvFanboy, 30 November 2013 - 05:37 AM.

only over night for being drunk   and getting into a fight with some fat Portuguese guy who i knew from school he called my mum an English  whore so i called him a fat greasy Spic whose mum sucked off george clooney in a Slovakian toilet << i only have my friends word for that but im still impressed with My creativity if true.   

  • Melchior

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Posted 30 November 2013 - 05:44 AM Edited by Melchior, 01 December 2013 - 05:17 AM.

I've been arrested, but both times they let me go at the station. Once for not paying for a cab, and once for trespassing and vandalism. Both times I got a small fine which I haven't paid, nor have I faced any consequences for not paying, so I think I got off scott free.

  • Sauron

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Posted 30 November 2013 - 07:11 AM Edited by Sauron, 30 November 2013 - 07:11 AM.

I spent quite some time in prison in my youth. Initially I had some difficulty adjusting to prison life, especially because many of the other prisoners thought I was a snob. A gang of men known as the Brothers frequently attacked and raped me in the laundry room while the guards looked the other way. I eventually fought the Brothers, even though it landed me in the infirmary and sometimes solitary confinement. Despite these hardships, however, I never complained or lost my confidence.


Soon after arriving in prison, I approached a guy called Blue and asked him to procure a rock hammer because I was interested in rock collecting and carving. After a while, I also paid Blue to smuggle in some polishing cloths and then, rather nervously, a large poster of Miley Cyrus. 


After a few years in prison, Blue and I found ourselves on a work crew, tarring the roof of the prison’s license plate factory. I overhear Byron Hadley, a prison guard, complaining to the other guards about the taxes he’ll have to pay on the $35,000 he just inherited from his long-lost brother. I offered Hadley some financial advice by telling him to give the money to his wife as a one-time tax-free gift. I even offered to fill out the paperwork for Hadley in exchange for giving three beers to each prisoner on the work crew. After some initial hesitation and suspicion, Hadley agreed. The deal won me the respect of everyone involved and made me a mythic hero in the eyes of the prisoners. I also became a valuable financial resource to those who ran the prison. As a result, the guards and the warden protected me from the Brothers, and made me the prison librarian, and didn’t assign other inmates to my cell. I relished my new position and worked hard during the next two decades to significantly expand the library.

My financial responsibilities started with filing the guards’ tax returns, but they soon expand to laundering money for the various prison wardens, including Bible-thumping Billy Bob Norton. I had no moral objection to hiding the money that Norton receives from construction companies, but I didn’t realize that doing so also hurts my chances of ever leaving the prison.


I eventually ask Norton to request a retrial, Norton dismissed my claims and put me in solitary confinement for more than a month on the “grain and drain” diet of bread and water. Norton, meanwhile, transfers Tommy Williams to another prison out of fear that I would expose his money laundering operation if paroled. After another aborted attempt to reason with the warden and another stint in solitary, I drop the issue and becomes more brooding and introspective.


Eventually I emerge from my lengthy depression and tell Blue that one day I had a friend set up a false identity for me. Under the false identity, the friend invested $14,000 of my money, which has since become more than $370,000. I, however, can’t touch the money, except for under my alternate identity, as this would risk exposing myself and losing everything. The documents and lucrative bonds are kept in a safe-deposit box at a local bank, the key to which has been stashed under a black volcanic rock wedged into a stone wall in the countryside near the prison. I dream of escaping, assuming  my false identity, and becoming the proprietor of a small hotel in Mexico. I also imagine Blue coming with me.


I'm pretty sure Blue thought nothing of this until years later when the prison guards find my cell empty one morning. The guards search the prison but find nothing, until an extremely frustrated Norton rips the pinup poster of Miley Cyrus from the wall to reveal a gaping hole in the thick concrete. The hole leads to the sewage drainpipe, which empties into the marshes surrounding the prison. Blue figures that I slowly and systematically used the rock hammer and polishing cloths every night for nearly twenty years to carve through the wall. After completing his hole, Blue also figures that it took me roughly eight years to muster the courage to actually try to escape.

A search of the marshes and nearby towns reveals nothing, however, and Norton has a nervous breakdown and resigns. Blue never heard anything from me but received my blank postcard from a border town in Texas some months later. The story of my escape spreads throughout the prison and gives him an even greater mythic status. I became the symbol of hope for many prisoners, not only as someone who successfully escaped, but also as a man who never let prison crush his spirit.


I now spend my days working at a small mexican hotel and sanding boats on beaches.

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  • Trinette

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Posted 30 November 2013 - 07:26 AM


Beautiful. Did you eventually get to see blue unexpectedly during a boat sanding session with his briefcase in hand and go towards him for a reuniting hug? :ph34r: :ph34r:

  • Lazerface

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Posted 30 November 2013 - 09:14 AM

Thanks for spoiling the movie, Sauron you dick.
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Posted 30 November 2013 - 10:01 AM

I've been to jail hundreds of times. I'm hardened to it, I even have a nickname... the shoe.

I was in there for 3 whole turns a few times, but I was sometimes let out on parole after rolling doubles.

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