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A Public Service Announcement/Job Opportunity

10 replies to this topic
Jokimoto
  • Jokimoto

    Disco Bandit

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  • Joined: 09 Nov 2013

#1

Posted 15 November 2013 - 10:44 PM

Tire of being broke? Can't afford those sweet new rims for you ride? Ammo costs got you down?  Don't want to glitch your way to millions?

 

I have a solution for you.

 

For a limited time you can take part in Joki's New and Improved Money Making Bonanza Super Fun Time Event.

 

Earn 9k in little more than the time it takes to make a simple phone call. How, you ask? I'm glad you asked:

 

Add me on PSN, then join me in a super-secret, private session and then.... that's it!  That's all you have to do! The rest will be taken care of by me.  How, you ask? I'm glad you asked.

 

I'll call up my buddy Lester, and set a 9k bounty on you. Then I'll shoot you in the face. Then I'll share the cash from my last job (shooting you in the face) with you. All of it. 100%. That's 9k for you, in less than probably 30 seconds, just for being shot in the face. 

 

Sound to good to be true? It's not!  Sound absolutely retarded, like something only a desperate moron would agree to? It is! Is that moron you? Could be.

 

"Joki," you say, "doesn't this actually cost you 1k per face-shooting?"  Yes, yes it does, but I get my joy from the simple pleasures in life: making friends, sharing wealth, and shooting those friends between the eyes with an auto-shotty.

 

Remember, this is a limited time offer, and space is likewise limited. Post here if you're interested in earning hundreds of thousands of dollars getting shot in the face for a living.*

 

*Time constraints may restrict you to only being shot in the face for, say, an hour. It's late here and I won't be staying up all night.  There's always tomorrow, of course, but this is on a first-idiot-who-comes, first-idiot-repeatedly-shot-in-the-face basis, so ACT NOW!

 

 

 

 

  • ShanksMcShankly likes this

BoJack Cognac
  • BoJack Cognac

    Cowboy and Rap Star

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#2

Posted 15 November 2013 - 10:48 PM

I would love to do this with you.

Only instead of joining you in a session where you shoot me in the face, can I pull down your pants, and instead of you sharing your money with me, can I stroke your wiener?


Jokimoto
  • Jokimoto

    Disco Bandit

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  • Joined: 09 Nov 2013

#3

Posted 15 November 2013 - 10:49 PM

I would love to do this with you.

Only instead of joining you in a session where you shoot me in the face, can I pull down your pants, and instead of you sharing your money with me, can I stroke your wiener?

Please PM offers like this. The public doesn't need to know our dirty secrets. It's bad for business with the fundie types, anyway.

  • ShanksMcShankly likes this

myztical78
  • myztical78

    Punk-ass Bitch

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#4

Posted 15 November 2013 - 10:52 PM

I got 84mill dropped on me ages ago, my way of charity is to "hunt down" low level players, make friends with them, tune a car fully without insurance/tracker and give it to them, for keep or resale :) Usally gives them 120k bank depends on car :)


Jokimoto
  • Jokimoto

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#5

Posted 15 November 2013 - 10:56 PM

I got 84mill dropped on me ages ago, my way of charity is to "hunt down" low level players, make friends with them, tune a car fully without insurance/tracker and give it to them, for keep or resale :) Usally gives them 120k bank depends on car :)

Nice, but nowhere near as fun.  Kudos for the charity work, though. 


Argonaut
  • Argonaut

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#6

Posted 15 November 2013 - 11:03 PM

And heres me, with an ensured Police Maverick. >tfw

Miss Malevolent
  • Miss Malevolent

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#7

Posted 15 November 2013 - 11:17 PM Edited by Miss Malevolent, 15 November 2013 - 11:18 PM.

...blah blah blah...

 

"Joki," you say, "doesn't this actually cost you 1k per face-shooting?"  Yes, yes it does, but I get my joy from the simple pleasures in life: making friends, sharing wealth, and shooting those friends between the eyes with an auto-shotty, building my K/D ratio up at your expense.

 

...blah blah blah...

 

 


ShanksMcShankly
  • ShanksMcShankly

    You'll Never Walk Alone

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#8

Posted 15 November 2013 - 11:20 PM

Oh man! That is one funny post bro =) I wish I was on PSN cuz you sound like a barrell of monkeys for sure!


Jokimoto
  • Jokimoto

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#9

Posted 15 November 2013 - 11:23 PM

 

...blah blah blah...

 

"Joki," you say, "doesn't this actually cost you 1k per face-shooting?"  Yes, yes it does, but I get my joy from the simple pleasures in life: making friends, sharing wealth, and shooting those friends between the eyes with an auto-shotty, building my K/D ratio up at your expense.

 

...blah blah blah...

 

 

 

You do realize my target audience, as stated quite obviously in the advert, is idiots, right?  I mean, you got that, right?  Jesus some people have no sense of humor.


Vysse
  • Vysse

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#10

Posted 16 November 2013 - 12:16 AM

Since this is for idiots only I'll pm you my gamertag. :p
  • Jokimoto likes this

ChromeAdder
  • ChromeAdder

    Peon

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#11

Posted 16 November 2013 - 12:17 AM

nah whats this thread about

?

 

didnt read too long 





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