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Beach Bum update NEXT WEEK

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  • tom_p1980

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Posted 14 November 2013 - 09:19 PM Edited by tom_p1980, 14 November 2013 - 09:20 PM.


Something free will never be bad if it add something to the game



Too bad this pack adds NOTHING to the game! (I'd also say that unnecessary bloat isn't good for a game and minimalism can be valid but I digress)


The BeachBumPack is not Rockstar doing something nice for me and me throwing it back in their faces. It’s Rockstar doing something that by all accounts is approximately 97% useless for me and me saying I would honestly prefer if it didn’t exist, that way they could have spent their efforts on something that is actually exciting or interesting. No hyperbole there, no malice, simple fact.


Let’s see -


New Races/DMs/Parachuting, when the game already has 200 of these that never ever get played.

New Survival or two, this is actually nice because that location sounds fun and Survival needs extra content.

Still what the game needs most is extra missions (especially after the mission payout nerf) and there is no mention of those whatsoever despite them clearly being the ‘meat’ of the game.


Reskinned melee weapon, in a game where dedicated melee weapons are utterly

useless (ranged weapons are better at melee than melee weapons).

Reskinned pistol when the game already has a bunch of redundant useless pistols.

Both sound pointless.


Reskinned DuneBuggy.

Reskinned CamperVan.

New boat, in a game where boats are utterly useless.

New truck.

Sooo only good for 5 minute novelty factor.


Hairstyles and clothing = Yawn.

Oh and extra tattoos that don’t even work.


I do not care about extra Races.

I do not care about extra Parachuting.

I do not care about extra Deathmatches.

I do not care about extra hairstyles.

I do not care about extra clothing.

I do not care about useless weapons.

I do not care about gimmick vehicles.


I DO care about extra missions, but the announcement makes no mention of them. (It’s possible there are new missions, but if so they’re idiots for not mentioning them).

I DO care about useful or different weapons. What about a revolver? What about a higher-tier drive-by SMG? Those aren’t exotic or crazy but they would offer something new and they would change the game slightly rather than offering reskinned versions of ALREADY useless weapons. 3 seconds, that’s how long it takes to come up with a SEMI-USEFUL weapon idea.

I DO care about fixing the fundamental problems with the game. Save issues / Broken Matchmaking / Broken Like-system / Broken Bad-sport / Broken Passive-mode / Unbalanced payouts / Broken economy / No character specialization / No reason to cooperate / Ultra-shallow car-customization / Ultra-ultra-shallow weapon-customization / Broken contact abilities / Dumb phonecalls / Dumb map / Broken skills / Broken bounties /   (It’s possible that some of these problems will be fixed in the simultaneous 1.06 patch, but some of them are probably impossible to remedy and GTAO doesn’t exactly have a great track record for effective patches).

I DO care about heists. I DO care about CTF. I DO care about Cops&Crooks. I DO care about fun and interesting new activities, rather than copy-pastes of old ones which themselves were 3rd generation copy-pastes. And you're really not going to convince me that my hopes for this game are unfair or unreasonable, a decent number of new missions or a new game mode would've been fine.


Does everything have to be about me? No, but if something is completely worthless by my reckoning then yeah I’m going to be a critic. And honestly I have real difficulty understanding how people can reach a different conclusion about this content, so much of it is just objectively useless. This pack adds nothing new or different, it’s all just pointless fluff when the game desperately needs an injection of actual content.


Seriously who WANTS this? Not who will accept it, not who doesn’t mind it, not who figures ‘free means immune to criticism’. If you were allowed to wish for anything for this game, no matter how wild or crazy or revolutionary, WHO would’ve gone with “20 pairs of beach shorts, 10 tanktops and 30 sandals” as their number one choice?


Flamethrower / Chainsaw / Katana / Casino games / Sea-sparrow heli / Hunter heli / APC / Vehicle weapons (ala JB 700) / Extra contact abilities / Apartment customization & activities / Bigger&Better properties / Bigger free-roam activities / Expanding hacking & safe-cracking / New plat awards / Boat&Heli&Jet customization / Crew assets / Crew-vs-Crew wars and New game modes...weeeeell those are fun interesting ideas, but no we’re going with the sandals and tanktops. And what kind of maniac introduces a beach DLC in November anyway? Who knows, maybe we’ll get a Christmas pack in May!


“But it’s free!”


Free crap is still crap.


Something being free doesn’t mean it’s immune to criticism, nor does it mean people are obligated to get excited about it. Getting leaflets must be a WILD experience for some of you. ‘OMG FREE!’


If you like it then say what you like about it, don’t try to tell people that they’re not allowed to dislike it.


“But this is just the first of many DLCs”


I don’t care HOW many DLCs they have if they’re all like this. 1000 times nothing is still NOTHING.


If they knocked this out in one-afternoon whilst jerking off then they still spent more effort on it than how much it is worth to me.


“This only took so long because of server trouble and glitchers”


Okay, what are you even trying to say here? Rockstar wouldn’t be in this mess... if they hadn’t screwed the pooch so badly on the launch? And that makes it more acceptable somehow?


Not really buying that glitching delayed their content delivery either, what did Rockstar cannibalize the art-team as a last ditch emergency measure? Because it really seems like the art assets are the only thing that’s new here.


“What did you expect”


I expected it to suck and I said as much. But it sucks even beyond what my imagination prepared me for.



Anyway it's pretty obvious that there can be no common understanding nor any accepted middleground so whatever.



Good summary and 100% correct. This post needs stickying.


I'm sure we'll still see the 


"yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah, it's free be grateful ZOMFG! "etc comments. Expect to be branded a "hater" and "not a true fan".  :lol:

  • Gasmasks


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Posted 14 November 2013 - 11:14 PM

Having a cool gold chain around my guys neck would be f*cking sweet. Another thing I would LOVE for them to add is bandanas which cover your face with a crew emblem(optional) on it. Maybe complete with a melee weapon fighting mode/fist fighting mode to actually make melee weapons more useful. Let's be honest, when do you actually get to use melee weapons properly? Hardly ever. They should make them have an ultimate purpose, kind of like GTA4's TBOGT's cage fighting, that'd be sweet. The chains are a must have, but we must be allowed to wear watches AND chains.. Of course and the bandanas around the face REALLY need to be put in.

  • make1tclap

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Posted 15 November 2013 - 04:14 AM

this dlc is payback for all our glitching

  • a20characterusername


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Posted 15 November 2013 - 04:22 AM

"And so ye shall be warned; those who glitchith, shall be punished with 300 different types of sandals, while the legit among you reap....300 different types of sandals" -2:18 Blasterman4ever, Derperonomy

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  • make1tclap

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Posted 15 November 2013 - 04:54 AM

I want some jesus sandals o.O

  • CrissRiot

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Posted 15 November 2013 - 04:59 AM

Was really hoping for a Flamethrower and the return of the Skimmer. Ah well.

  • EliteGamer

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Posted 15 November 2013 - 05:47 PM


There is no defining the amount of fail in this post...

And "mark chump" suits you perfectly.



Ah, the classic “I can’t refute anything you just said, so I’m just going to throw an insult and run away” rebuttal. Beautifully executed too.


You do realize it’s possible to disagree with someone without being a tool, right? And you do realize you kinda have to say why you disagree for you to contribute anything useful to the discussion, right?


BTW MarkChump was the default title for that post count, it has no reflection on me.

Meanwhile your custom “Yo Momma’s P.I.M.P.” title shows that you are 12 years old.



"And so ye shall be warned; those who glitchith, shall be punished with 300 different types of sandals, while the legit among you reap....300 different types of sandals" -2:18 Blasterman4ever, Derperonomy


“For Rockstar makes his Cloud fail on the evil and on the good, and sends sandal-based DLCs on the just and on the unjust.”

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  • Pinnkiepie


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Posted 15 November 2013 - 06:00 PM

Looking forward to the new beach wear, tattoos and hairstyles :)

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