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Officially Unofficial "Hate on The Mechanic" Post

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EyeMacHunt
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#31

Posted 11 November 2013 - 03:00 PM

9 out of 10 times I'll kill him with a melee weapon or fists. The other 1/10 is when I'm in a hurry/battle and I just shoot him. 

 

He never lives.

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KiTTYReCkless
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#32

Posted 11 November 2013 - 03:02 PM

I pulled my mechanic out of my car once and about ten seconds later I got a text saying I would be on a slab soon. He put a 7k bounty on me.. I was like O_o

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alijahgreen
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#33

Posted 11 November 2013 - 03:12 PM

You must be near or on the street/road for your vehicle to be brought to you.....I call him at least twice a day just give him a beating for a return on my invest..... but the problem I had lately with him is the fact I can't target him for a mêlée attack instead I kept on hitting the innocent bystanders in the game, witch in turn gave me a wanted level....


Pong Lenis
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#34

Posted 11 November 2013 - 03:59 PM

We were 5 people from our crew when someone called the mechanic.. He suffered a brutal beatdown, baseballbats to the head, hammers, golfclubs, then poured gasoline over him, set him on fire and finished it off with a shotgun to the face!  I guess we all have issues with the mechanic :p

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Slacca
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#35

Posted 11 November 2013 - 04:00 PM

At least you guys still see him, he's taken to delivering my Bati and Sanchez by remote control, the bikes turn up but no sign of the mechanic riding them..


Jokimoto
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#36

Posted 11 November 2013 - 04:25 PM

"Hi! I'm the Mechanic, and I'd just like to say a few words in my defense, if I could? Thanks.

 

See, this is a tough job. You guys call me and expect me to just hop in your car and zip right over to wherever you are at a moment's notice, but things aren't so easy for Jerry. (My name's Jerry, by the way, but did you ever ask? Did you ever care? Do you even see me as a human being? No, no you don't. Ever think that's why you get shi$%y customer service everywhere you go? But I digress...)

 

The thing is, you only pay me 50$ per diem, and let me tell you that won't pay the bills. No, sir. You know that every time you beat me senseless with a bat, or god forbid set me on fire, that I have a 500$ medical bill, right? Well how many of those could you afford on 50$ a day, huh? 

 

I'm not an employee. I'm a slave.

 

Let me tell you what happened the other day, when you called asking for your precious Adder.

 

I have a life, see. As happy a life as I can have, anyway, in this miserable, god-forsaken excuse for a city. I have a wife, 3 kids, and a dog that drags his butt across the living room floor for entertainment. When you called, asking, no DEMANDING, that I bring you your car, I had just come home from a long day working on cars in your garage to find my wife in bed with that co#$sucker from the 24/7 down the street. 

 

Was I allowed a moment to deal with that? To process my grief and sense of betrayal? No, of course not. YOU had to have your car, way over in bumfu#k Blaine County, I might add, and why? Were you hurt? Had you been kidnapped, tied up, taken for ransom, barely escaped with your life, and called ME because you knew your ol' friend Jerry was there to help you out? No. You were there because you'd robbed a convenience store, slaughtered god knows how many peace officers and innocent bystanders, and in your mad blood-lust failed to navigate a turn and drove your car off a mountain, straight into a lake. A car I spent precious hours repairing, detailing, hell LOVING, I might add.

 

So maybe cut Jerry a break every now and then. I've got a million problems of my own, and I'm a human being, damnit."

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JustOneMonth
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#37

Posted 11 November 2013 - 04:37 PM

"Hi! I'm the Mechanic, and I'd just like to say a few words in my defense, if I could? Thanks.

 

See, this is a tough job. You guys call me and expect me to just hop in your car and zip right over to wherever you are at a moment's notice, but things aren't so easy for Jerry. (My name's Jerry, by the way, but did you ever ask? Did you ever care? Do you even see me as a human being? No, no you don't. Ever think that's why you get shi$%y customer service everywhere you go? But I digress...)

 

The thing is, you only pay me 50$ per diem, and let me tell you that won't pay the bills. No, sir. You know that every time you beat me senseless with a bat, or god forbid set me on fire, that I have a 500$ medical bill, right? Well how many of those could you afford on 50$ a day, huh? 

 

I'm not an employee. I'm a slave.

 

Let me tell you what happened the other day, when you called asking for your precious Adder.

 

I have a life, see. As happy a life as I can have, anyway, in this miserable, god-forsaken excuse for a city. I have a wife, 3 kids, and a dog that drags his butt across the living room floor for entertainment. When you called, asking, no DEMANDING, that I bring you your car, I had just come home from a long day working on cars in your garage to find my wife in bed with that co#$sucker from the 24/7 down the street. 

 

Was I allowed a moment to deal with that? To process my grief and sense of betrayal? No, of course not. YOU had to have your car, way over in bumfu#k Blaine County, I might add, and why? Were you hurt? Had you been kidnapped, tied up, taken for ransom, barely escaped with your life, and called ME because you knew your ol' friend Jerry was there to help you out? No. You were there because you'd robbed a convenience store, slaughtered god knows how many peace officers and innocent bystanders, and in your mad blood-lust failed to navigate a turn and drove your car off a mountain, straight into a lake. A car I spent precious hours repairing, detailing, hell LOVING, I might add.

 

So maybe cut Jerry a break every now and then. I've got a million problems of my own, and I'm a human being, damnit."

Say that to my crowbar.


primevil60
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#38

Posted 11 November 2013 - 04:44 PM

Mine is generally ok but he has a pathological fear of Simeon's garage out at the docks...

this. so annoying, i guess they can't get through the gates.  and i never want to steal a useless car there for fear of the bounty. chopper it is


EliteGamer
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#39

Posted 11 November 2013 - 06:55 PM Edited by EliteGamer, 11 November 2013 - 07:05 PM.

"Hi! I'm the Mechanic, and I'd just like to say a few words in my defense, if I could? Thanks.

 

See, this is a tough job. You guys call me and expect me to just hop in your car and zip right over to wherever you are at a moment's notice, but things aren't so easy for Jerry. (My name's Jerry, by the way, but did you ever ask? Did you ever care? Do you even see me as a human being? No, no you don't. Ever think that's why you get shi$%y customer service everywhere you go? But I digress...)

 

The thing is, you only pay me 50$ per diem, and let me tell you that won't pay the bills. No, sir. You know that every time you beat me senseless with a bat, or god forbid set me on fire, that I have a 500$ medical bill, right? Well how many of those could you afford on 50$ a day, huh? 

 

I'm not an employee. I'm a slave.

 

Let me tell you what happened the other day, when you called asking for your precious Adder.

 

I have a life, see. As happy a life as I can have, anyway, in this miserable, god-forsaken excuse for a city. I have a wife, 3 kids, and a dog that drags his butt across the living room floor for entertainment. When you called, asking, no DEMANDING, that I bring you your car, I had just come home from a long day working on cars in your garage to find my wife in bed with that co#$sucker from the 24/7 down the street. 

 

Was I allowed a moment to deal with that? To process my grief and sense of betrayal? No, of course not. YOU had to have your car, way over in bumfu#k Blaine County, I might add, and why? Were you hurt? Had you been kidnapped, tied up, taken for ransom, barely escaped with your life, and called ME because you knew your ol' friend Jerry was there to help you out? No. You were there because you'd robbed a convenience store, slaughtered god knows how many peace officers and innocent bystanders, and in your mad blood-lust failed to navigate a turn and drove your car off a mountain, straight into a lake. A car I spent precious hours repairing, detailing, hell LOVING, I might add.

 

So maybe cut Jerry a break every now and then. I've got a million problems of my own, and I'm a human being, damnit."

 

Look Jerry, is it alright if I call you Jerry? I’m calling you Jerry.

 

Look Jerry.. I sympathise with your difficulties I really do, but I have a very stressful job too and when you fail to do your job it prevents me from doing mine. When I call for a ride I need a ride NOW, not in 5 minutes times, not when your Justin Bieber concert finishes, not when 'My Little Pony' ends. NOW. The 20 heavily-armed and highly-angry police officers aren’t going to let me have a little break or a “time-out” because SOMEBODY doesn’t want to get their ass in gear. Every moment you dally increases the chances of me getting killed horribly.

 

But maybe that’s what you want? Because frankly a lot of the time it really seems like you’re trying to mess with me. “Need your car boss? Sure thing, I’ll just leave it in this subway tunnel or the third floor of this parking garage or down a cliff or on the highway above you”. Well technically you're doing your job, but it's in the least convenient and most passive-aggressive way possible. Sure I do sometime ask a lot of you and yeah it is impressive when you manage to get my car from LS to the ass-end of nowhere in 30 seconds flat.. but other times I’m making a pretty reasonable request and apparently it’s impossible. The middle of the city? Can’t be done, impossible to traverse that terrain.. or maybe the 2 whole cars on the road is too much traffic for you to deal with?. Oh and sometimes you bring my car out, then suddenly decide against it and race off in the opposite direction. That’s a hilarious trick isn’t it? How much fun you must have watching me in the rear-view mirror as I desperately chase after MY OWN CAR meanwhile some other a#$hole is trying to gun me down. Or what about when you decide to take a swing at me? For no reason whatsoever? What’s that about?

 

How did it end up like this Jerry? We’re supposed to be a team... but these days it feels like we’re enemies, caught in an escalating cycle of retribution. You leave me stranded in a swamp, so I smack you about with a bat, so you drive my car off a cliff, so I park my car on your face. I didn't want this, nobody wants this. Actually... you know at the beginning I thought you were an automobile wizard - delivering vehicles accross town at lightspeed and restoring a bruised wreck back into a mint condition in mere seconds, But somewhere along the lines something went wrong and now neither one of us is happy and honestly I'm kind of sick of it.

 

So what do you say we try to be friends again? Now that everything is out in the open and we've had a chance to air our grievances. And tell you what, I'll see if I can do something about the guy from the 24/7...

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Black Rabbit
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#40

Posted 11 November 2013 - 07:00 PM

Why does the guy tell me that he can't deliver my car because "I can't find a ride out there right now". He's supposed to drive MY car....that's the ride he should be taking. So annoying. 


Zombiejaeger
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#41

Posted 11 November 2013 - 07:02 PM

*crying from laughter*


superlover2002
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#42

Posted 11 November 2013 - 07:03 PM

thats how my stupid mechanic deliver my cars.

 

0_0.jpg

0_0.jpg

 

and when i got into it always channel x so annoying.

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qnoobsoy
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#43

Posted 11 November 2013 - 07:06 PM

Jerry I did your wife too
Now go f yourself

qnoobsoy
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#44

Posted 11 November 2013 - 07:08 PM

Jerry I did your wife too
Now go f yourself

soldat89
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#45

Posted 11 November 2013 - 07:09 PM

he is the worst...
 
0_0.jpg
 
0_0.jpg


Hahahaha

Jokimoto
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#46

Posted 11 November 2013 - 08:31 PM

"So what do you say we try to be friends again? Now that everything is out in the open and we've had a chance to air our grievances. And tell you what, I'll see if I can do something about the guy from the 24/7..."

 

Fair enough. I think his name is Ahmed, but my kids are starting to call him "Daddy". I'll try to not take the bats to the face personally if you'll try to ignore my occasional horrendous delivery jobs. I'm dyslexic, so the road signs give me trouble sometimes. I also suffer from a condition known colloquially as "wandering eyeball". It often results in me thinking rivers are roads and vice versa. Anyway, thanks for your understanding.

 

-Jerry.

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eric91611
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#47

Posted 11 November 2013 - 08:39 PM

0_0.jpg


 
yup, he put mine on a roof and had the balls to climb the ladder down like everything was ok


Lmao. Yeah 90% of the time he wont bring me my car and when he does he either immidiately steals it or if i do manage to get in it he pulls me out and takes off with it like a bat outta hell. Asshole.
 

eric91611
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#48

Posted 11 November 2013 - 08:45 PM


"Hi! I'm the Mechanic, and I'd just like to say a few words in my defense, if I could? Thanks.
 
See, this is a tough job. You guys call me and expect me to just hop in your car and zip right over to wherever you are at a moment's notice, but things aren't so easy for Jerry. (My name's Jerry, by the way, but did you ever ask? Did you ever care? Do you even see me as a human being? No, no you don't. Ever think that's why you get shi$%y customer service everywhere you go? But I digress...)
 
The thing is, you only pay me 50$ per diem, and let me tell you that won't pay the bills. No, sir. You know that every time you beat me senseless with a bat, or god forbid set me on fire, that I have a 500$ medical bill, right? Well how many of those could you afford on 50$ a day, huh? 
 
I'm not an employee. I'm a slave.
 
Let me tell you what happened the other day, when you called asking for your precious Adder.
 
I have a life, see. As happy a life as I can have, anyway, in this miserable, god-forsaken excuse for a city. I have a wife, 3 kids, and a dog that drags his butt across the living room floor for entertainment. When you called, asking, no DEMANDING, that I bring you your car, I had just come home from a long day working on cars in your garage to find my wife in bed with that co#$sucker from the 24/7 down the street. 
 
Was I allowed a moment to deal with that? To process my grief and sense of betrayal? No, of course not. YOU had to have your car, way over in bumfu#k Blaine County, I might add, and why? Were you hurt? Had you been kidnapped, tied up, taken for ransom, barely escaped with your life, and called ME because you knew your ol' friend Jerry was there to help you out? No. You were there because you'd robbed a convenience store, slaughtered god knows how many peace officers and innocent bystanders, and in your mad blood-lust failed to navigate a turn and drove your car off a mountain, straight into a lake. A car I spent precious hours repairing, detailing, hell LOVING, I might add.
 
So maybe cut Jerry a break every now and then. I've got a million problems of my own, and I'm a human being, damnit."

 
Look Jerry, is it alright if I call you Jerry? Im calling you Jerry.
 
Look Jerry.. I sympathise with your difficulties I really do, but I have a very stressful job too and when you fail to do your job it prevents me from doing mine. When I call for a ride I need a ride NOW, not in 5 minutes times, not when your Justin Bieber concert finishes, not when 'My Little Pony' ends. NOW. The 20 heavily-armed and highly-angry police officers arent going to let me have a little break or a time-out because SOMEBODY doesnt want to get their ass in gear. Every moment you dally increases the chances of me getting killed horribly.
 
But maybe thats what you want? Because frankly a lot of the time it really seems like youre trying to mess with me. Need your car boss? Sure thing, Ill just leave it in this subway tunnel or the third floor of this parking garage or down a cliff or on the highway above you. Well technically you're doing your job, but it's in the least convenient and most passive-aggressive way possible. Sure I do sometime ask a lot of you and yeah it is impressive when you manage to get my car from LS to the ass-end of nowhere in 30 seconds flat.. but other times Im making a pretty reasonable request and apparently its impossible. The middle of the city? Cant be done, impossible to traverse that terrain.. or maybe the 2 whole cars on the road is too much traffic for you to deal with?. Oh and sometimes you bring my car out, then suddenly decide against it and race off in the opposite direction. Thats a hilarious trick isnt it? How much fun you must have watching me in the rear-view mirror as I desperately chase after MY OWN CAR meanwhile some other a#$hole is trying to gun me down. Or what about when you decide to take a swing at me? For no reason whatsoever? Whats that about?
 
How did it end up like this Jerry? Were supposed to be a team... but these days it feels like were enemies, caught in an escalating cycle of retribution. You leave me stranded in a swamp, so I smack you about with a bat, so you drive my car off a cliff, so I park my car on your face. I didn't want this, nobody wants this. Actually... you know at the beginning I thought you were an automobile wizard - delivering vehicles accross town at lightspeed and restoring a bruised wreck back into a mint condition in mere seconds, But somewhere along the lines something went wrong and now neither one of us is happy and honestly I'm kind of sick of it.
 
So what do you say we try to be friends again? Now that everything is out in the open and we've had a chance to air our grievances. And tell you what, I'll see if I can do something about the guy from the 24/7...


you guys need to trademark this and send it to rockstar. Really good back and forth guys great senses of humor had me dying laughing so effin hard.

BoJack Cognac
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#49

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:04 PM

"YO! what the f*ck are they yellin?"

"Gangsta gangsta"

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abfirstr8
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#50

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:06 PM

I always punch him then just as he starts to fight back I take out a knife and chase him around for a while


PaulDPearl
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#51

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:10 PM

My mechanic jacked my car from me and drove it around LS.. a buddy and mine had to chase him down and steal it back!

 

I didn't know it was him at first, I was doing something else and looked up and my car was driving away.. 


Sami Nitro
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#52

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:17 PM

You guys are so mean.  I'm going to compile a list of good things about the mechanic:

 

1.  You can beat him to a pulp every time he turns up, and he still keeps working for you.  I know because I've tried it.

2.  Occasionally, when you phone him up and ask him to bring a car to you - he actually does it.

3.  He'll do thousands of dollars worth of repairs all on a $50 a day budget, and works round the clock.

 

Okay okay - number 3 is about the only good thing.  Even beating him stupid isn't satisfying enough for some of the nonsense he pulls.  Don't even get me started on f*cking Channel X!!

 

F*cking mechanic!!!


SLUGFly
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#53

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:24 PM

My mechanic delivered my car through Zancudo swamp, turtled it, then got out and left it upside down. I shottied him, blew the car up, called Mors, then called him again to see if he could do better. >.<

Pelican
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#54

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:27 PM

Have to run around like an idiot something to get him to show up. Dude shows up, I run up to him and he's like "See ya, boss." and he f*cks off with my ride. Then there's me, running after him like a stupid sod, waiting for my chance to jack back my car.


TinyMcBig
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#55

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:32 PM

I love my mechanic. He can get me some wheels, bring em 'round and he's Johnny on the spot.

I just hate the look on his face when I douse him with gasoline and light him up anyway.

unklepepper
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#56

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:34 PM

I have now been 8 days without my Mechanic. Please, if anyone has seen him tell him to come back to me. please.


PaulDPearl
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#57

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:47 PM

Have to run around like an idiot something to get him to show up. Dude shows up, I run up to him and he's like "See ya, boss." and he f*cks off with my ride. Then there's me, running after him like a stupid sod, waiting for my chance to jack back my car.

 

Just in case people don't believe it... 

 

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Hypertion
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#58

Posted 11 November 2013 - 09:56 PM

this one time he spawned right next to me in my car... drove straight at me and i was thinking "yay he is being nice"

 

suddenly he does a U-turn and drives the opposite direction and then turns onto another street........

 

i never got my car from him that time...


AiwaBlue11
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#59

Posted 11 November 2013 - 10:27 PM

Lol, he sucks with glitched helicopters. He got mine stuck under a walkway and it blew up. Then he flew another around the city and never delivered it.

Kendoyid
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#60

Posted 11 November 2013 - 10:33 PM

he killed me yesterday,i did my usual of punching him in the face after he arrived but i missed and he caught me with a left hook,i fell into the path of a car.





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