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How to say no?

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RockstarFanboy
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#1

Posted 01 November 2013 - 07:53 PM Edited by RockstarFanboy, 02 November 2013 - 10:23 AM.

couple of weeks ago I created a topic asking for help about a bully who was starting to annoy me and I ended up punching him since I'm not a freaking sandbag. Well today I have another important question for you guys... guess what, the same guy who bullied me and got punched is starting to annoy the hell out of me... he's always following me and he's always asking me to sit next to him in classes and to hang around with him... I know it might seem as he is actually being friendly and just wants me to hang around with him BUT NO... everytime I sit next to him or hang around with him he becomes really annoying and starts punching me in the arm and doing childish stuff (I mean this is freaking college not high school...) 

 

So today in class he asked me to sit next to him... well I really wasn't in the mood to sit next to him for 3 freaking hours so I said I didn't want to, and went to the other side of the room... problem is I have a weak heart and 5 minutes later I was feeling bad for him... I shoudn't because I know he was going to start doing his childish stuff but still he seemed a bit sad after that so I felt pretty bad... after the class ended I talked to him and everything was ok... but here comes the problem

 

I'm certain next weak he's going to ask me to sit next to him and hang around with him, so how to say No without making me look like a complete dick? I don't want to be anywhere near him for the reasons I stated above (it's not just me, the whole class is avoiding him...)

 

 

Note: He has his own group of friends so I don't know why he is fascinating over me.. and I'm not the only one who doesn't like him... even his own group of friends is already avoiding him and a girl from my class told me that no one likes him because of his childish actions so its not just me...

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MrPeteyMax
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#2

Posted 01 November 2013 - 08:25 PM

Feeling bad will happen anyways. Want you need is confidence. All you gotta do is realise that the worst thing that can happen is someone feels bad. You need to put yourself as number 1.

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lil weasel
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#3

Posted 01 November 2013 - 09:39 PM

Choice is to have bad 'feelings', or feel bad physically from being punched.

You seem to be a masochist more than a soft hearted slob.

If you marry you'll be the punching bag of your spouse, too.

Get an Authority figure to take note, and be on record.

Don't even talk to the guy.


Tacymist
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#4

Posted 01 November 2013 - 10:13 PM

Maybe I'm just being cold, but f*ck his feelings. He's an annoying punchy manchild, so who cares if he thinks you're a dick, his opinion of you doesn't matter. And since everyone else tries to avoid him, none of them are going to look down on you, and if they do, call them a hypocrite since that's what they are.

 

Don't let your feelings stand in your way, some people deserve the finger. 


Nlwt
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#5

Posted 01 November 2013 - 10:20 PM

What's more important to you: how you feel when he is annoying the sh*t out of you or his feelings? If you just avoid him and let him know how you feel, he'll just start annoying someone else and leave you alone. You have to just say no and let people down sometimes, it's just part of life.


theadmiral
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#6

Posted 01 November 2013 - 11:33 PM

One thing I found odd about your original post is that I believe you mentioned you are in college. It seems odd to be at that age and to have a guy running around bullying people, and then after you punched him, following you around asking to sit with you.

 

This isn't elementary school and you are not a 12 year old. If this guy is actually doing this stuff, just tell him kindly to "f*ck off", or if you'd prefer to not go that route, just avoid him and do not respond when he talks to you. If he does sit next to you, just do not respond to anything he says to you and focus on your class.

 

We are talking about adults here, not children.


RockstarFanboy
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#7

Posted 02 November 2013 - 12:05 AM Edited by RockstarFanboy, 02 November 2013 - 12:06 AM.

One thing I found odd about your original post is that I believe you mentioned you are in college. It seems odd to be at that age and to have a guy running around bullying people, and then after you punched him, following you around asking to sit with you.

 

This isn't elementary school and you are not a 12 year old. If this guy is actually doing this stuff, just tell him kindly to "f*ck off", or if you'd prefer to not go that route, just avoid him and do not respond when he talks to you. If he does sit next to you, just do not respond to anything he says to you and focus on your class.

 

We are talking about adults here, not children.

Yes this is mostly the reason people don't like him including me... this is college yet he is acting like he just came out of elementary school. I had a guy in my class exactly like him but that was in 6th grade or something when I was 13...the idea of having someone like this in my class makes me sick, I mean this guy has no respect for anyone yet he wants to be "friends" with everyone on class... just ridiculous

 

What's more important to you: how you feel when he is annoying the sh*t out of you or his feelings? If you just avoid him and let him know how you feel, he'll just start annoying someone else and leave you alone. You have to just say no and let people down sometimes, it's just part of life.

You're right... 2 weeks ago I spent a lot of time hanging out with him (because I actually thought I would go along with him) but my hate for him just grew by each day to a point where I spent a whole thinking of beating the crap out of him... I even dreamed of it (yes he's that annoying)... but after that I decided to just let it go and went to join another group who is friendly and they actually act like adults in this group...

 

Now I'm just slightly annoyed by the fact that I feel a bit sorry for letting the guy down (even after all the crap he made me go through) but as you said, stuff like that is part of life... He acts like a child so he should have seen this coming


WhatsStrength
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#8

Posted 02 November 2013 - 12:53 AM

Not the kind of person I'd want to sit with, talk about a jackass. Sounds like a class clown.

 

Don't feel bad about it, he was harassing you so it's his own damn fault for driving you away.


GunWrath
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#9

Posted 02 November 2013 - 01:54 AM

Simple, just say no.


Myron
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#10

Posted 02 November 2013 - 02:12 AM

Not the kind of person I'd want to sit with, talk about a jackass. Sounds like a class clown.

Is that right, George?

george_carlin_class_clown.jpg


F4L?
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#11

Posted 02 November 2013 - 06:37 AM

One thing I found odd about your original post is that I believe you mentioned you are in college. It seems odd to be at that age and to have a guy running around bullying people, and then after you punched him, following you around asking to sit with you.
 
This isn't elementary school and you are not a 12 year old. If this guy is actually doing this stuff, just tell him kindly to "f*ck off", or if you'd prefer to not go that route, just avoid him and do not respond when he talks to you. If he does sit next to you, just do not respond to anything he says to you and focus on your class.
 
We are talking about adults here, not children.

So giving someone the silent treatment is adult behaviour?
If you really want to stop it Just flat out explain that the reason you don't want to sit nexT to him is because:"You constantly annoy me, punching me and -insert whatever else it is he does- and this gets on my nerves, I'm in class I don't want to be disturbed constantly, call it lame but I want to actually do my studies, I don't mind mucking around every so often, but not constantly becausE like I said: it's just plain annoying"

If you don't explain that to him you'll have to ignore him every day or say no every day which is going to make you look like a douche bag, explaining why allows him to see your point of view and perhaps let you sit elsewhere, or he'll stop being a jackass. I've known people like this, and this is what I did and it resolved our issues and we could actually be friends.
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Melchior
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#12

Posted 02 November 2013 - 09:20 AM

Look, he's obviously an idiot manchild. Just tell him that you're a grown man and don't want to sit next to an annoying toddler. You shouldn't feel bad he's a big boy and should know how to behave.

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W2B
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#13

Posted 02 November 2013 - 10:14 AM

I'm certain next weak he's going to ask me to sit next to him and hang around with him, so how to say No without making me look like a complete dick?


Like this...



Why do you care so much about his feelings? Just say no and stay away from him if you don't like him... He wants attention and you're giving it to him, so he won't stop bothering you.
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RockstarFanboy
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#14

Posted 02 November 2013 - 10:16 AM Edited by RockstarFanboy, 02 November 2013 - 10:18 AM.

 

One thing I found odd about your original post is that I believe you mentioned you are in college. It seems odd to be at that age and to have a guy running around bullying people, and then after you punched him, following you around asking to sit with you.
 
This isn't elementary school and you are not a 12 year old. If this guy is actually doing this stuff, just tell him kindly to "f*ck off", or if you'd prefer to not go that route, just avoid him and do not respond when he talks to you. If he does sit next to you, just do not respond to anything he says to you and focus on your class.
 
We are talking about adults here, not children.

So giving someone the silent treatment is adult behaviour?
If you really want to stop it Just flat out explain that the reason you don't want to sit nexT to him is because:"You constantly annoy me, punching me and -insert whatever else it is he does- and this gets on my nerves, I'm in class I don't want to be disturbed constantly, call it lame but I want to actually do my studies, I don't mind mucking around every so often, but not constantly becausE like I said: it's just plain annoying"

If you don't explain that to him you'll have to ignore him every day or say no every day which is going to make you look like a douche bag, explaining why allows him to see your point of view and perhaps let you sit elsewhere, or he'll stop being a jackass. I've known people like this, and this is what I did and it resolved our issues and we could actually be friends.

 

I've did that, a couple of time after he punched me, we talked and I said he was being really anoying... he said it was all just "kidding" and that he was not trying to hurt me seriously but I said that he was being childish and he just went away... week later I had to sit next to him and I thought he was more calm but in the end he was still the same guy and started doing the same annoying crap, even after I warned him

 

which basically left me with 2 choices, beat the crap out of him or just join another group and avoid conflict

 

I'm 1 month into the college so creating a conflict like this would be stupid and probably get me expelled if I actually fight him... So I decided to just cut my relations to him and join another group... until yesterday that he started to annoy the crap out of me and always asking me to join him and since I don't like letting people down (even people like this who are complete dicks to me) I really don't know how to say no without making me look like a dick :/


afk4ever
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#15

Posted 03 November 2013 - 11:31 PM

I would recommend attacking him with more lethal force.

 

When you sit next to him, are there any knives around? Or a piece of broken wood?


theadmiral
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#16

Posted 04 November 2013 - 12:35 AM

 

One thing I found odd about your original post is that I believe you mentioned you are in college. It seems odd to be at that age and to have a guy running around bullying people, and then after you punched him, following you around asking to sit with you.
 
This isn't elementary school and you are not a 12 year old. If this guy is actually doing this stuff, just tell him kindly to "f*ck off", or if you'd prefer to not go that route, just avoid him and do not respond when he talks to you. If he does sit next to you, just do not respond to anything he says to you and focus on your class.
 
We are talking about adults here, not children.

So giving someone the silent treatment is adult behaviour?
 

With all due respect, if you are an adult in university you don't need to have a sitdown with someone and discuss why they are sh*tty and why you do not want to sit with them. Just ignore and move on, in my opinion, if you have no interest in being friends with the guy.

I suppose if you want a friend you can talk it out with him and resolve it and live happily ever after but the guy sounds like a major A-hole anyway , people that want attention like this need to be ignored.





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