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Effin' Mechanic - Share your BS Mechanic Stories!

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Camsterguy
  • Camsterguy

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#1

Posted 31 October 2013 - 11:52 PM Edited by Camsterguy, 31 October 2013 - 11:54 PM.

This is a topic dedicated to hearing funny sh*t regarding how mindless the mechanic is and how you punish him for his dumbfoundry.

Here's two of my favorites:

 

1. He has an easier time delivering my cars in the middle of the desert than the city.

 

2. My mechanic can deliver a fighter jet flawlessly but somehow manages to drive a car off of the highway and ask "Scratch was already there, right?"

 

How I punish him? I have him deliver my tank, just so I can shoot him in the face with it, then I go back to my garage and get a real car haha.

 

Let's hear yours!


MeGusta90
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#2

Posted 31 October 2013 - 11:54 PM

*delivers tank with no training whatsoever*

 

*can't deliver car*

 

Johnny-never-on-the-f*cking-spot


UltraDerp
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#3

Posted 31 October 2013 - 11:55 PM

Call for car

wait minute

mechanic spawns 10ft ahead of me driving away 

cant catch up he turns corner

finally get to the corner and shoot him out of my car

2 stars

5 minute cop chase b4 losing cops 

 

f*ck you mechanic lol


NombreDeLaBeast
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#4

Posted 31 October 2013 - 11:58 PM

A few days after buying my first and only supercar (the vacca, love my cow.) I called my mechanic. he shows up normally stops in the middle of the raod for a few seconds. I then proceed to watch him gun it like he was panicked for some reason, do a U turn drive over/through the fence blocking the road from the beach...then I saw my poor cow sink to the bottom of the Alamo sea...good thing i had just earned enough money to insure it the day before lol.

 

I think the mechanic knew he was going to get the sh*t beat out of him so he just stayed in the car and drowned.


Gasmasks
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#5

Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:29 AM

I came out of the pay n spray after selling a car, you know the pay n spray under the bridge? Yeah, you know the one. Anyway, I called the mechanic and instead of appearing on the road near me, he drove on the bridge above, drove all the way around and then he ran me over and drove away from me. I was stood there like 'wtf?' so I called him again and when the twat came over he got a buckshot in the face and a good old fashioned burning. But it gets worse.. His burning corpse for some reason set my f*cking car on fire lol, so then my car blows up again and I need him to deliver ANOTHER ONE. I knew better this time and stood away from the overpass so he wouldn't repeat his dumbassery, but no.. He just ran me over and kept going so I began to get angry and had to take a break from GTA. Why would this happen twice? Stupid game.

HeroicFails
  • HeroicFails

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#6

Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:05 AM

Rang my mechanic to get a jet, he appears down the street and starts crawling to me as slow as he can, then he just stops like 100 meters from me so I had to run, but when in got near him the whole jet started spazzing out and flipping around until it fell through the bridge and exploded below, he then calls and says the old BS of "Sorry boss, cant make it there right now", Scumbag mechanic... had to drive some civi car to my garage -_-


Richard378
  • Richard378

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#7

Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:09 AM

Drives past me and starts driving off with my car.


liambear88
  • liambear88

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#8

Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:31 AM

Knocked me over with the door opening and then starting a fight as the car sorta knocked him when I hit the floor.

Nasir_Jones
  • Nasir_Jones

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#9

Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:38 AM

Has anyone else had to chase their mechanic the WHOLE perimeter of Los Santos?

IShotBambi
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#10

Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:40 AM

"That scratch was already there, right?"

The f*ck did you say?

*Beats mechanic to death with baseball bat*


Loxley
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#11

Posted 01 November 2013 - 03:19 AM

R* should add more douchy dialogue to the mechanic it would be hilarious for him to comment on your abuse of him.


Elijin
  • Elijin

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#12

Posted 01 November 2013 - 03:31 AM

Rang my mechanic to get a jet, he appears down the street and starts crawling to me as slow as he can, then he just stops like 100 meters from me so I had to run, but when in got near him the whole jet started spazzing out and flipping around until it fell through the bridge and exploded below, he then calls and says the old BS of "Sorry boss, cant make it there right now", Scumbag mechanic... had to drive some civi car to my garage -_-

 

Im all for hating the mechanic, but hating the mechanic for a f*ck up with an unsupported vehicle isnt really on him.


Durden
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#13

Posted 01 November 2013 - 03:37 AM

I hate him and his sh*tty driving skills and unfunny comments.

 

Every time I see him I beat him with a golf club.

  • tom_p1980 likes this

blk95ta
  • blk95ta

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#14

Posted 01 November 2013 - 05:18 AM

I go to LSC, sell a Baller or Felon or Oracle (3 cars i try to find) and then call the mechanic to bring me one of my cars. about 50% of the time, the dumbass brings me the car on the other side of the wall in the alley. this is the LSC near the $391k place. Every time he does that, i deck him, lol.


WinterEdit
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#15

Posted 01 November 2013 - 05:26 AM Edited by WinterEdit, 01 November 2013 - 05:26 AM.

Haven't got any interesting stories, but I find it disappointing that he doesn't bring a car when I sell a car to Simeon. I mean really? I'm in the middle of nowhere, I'm pretty sure I want a car there... and no, I don't want to steal one everytime I sell a car because it gives Wanted level almost always. Even when no one sees you.


livejoker
  • livejoker

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#16

Posted 01 November 2013 - 06:55 AM

Call mechanic to bring 4 door Sandking in desert. I see the car logo on the map appear. Drives off so I start chasing him on foot. I chase him for about 40 seconds as I need this truck. Overtakes car slowing down for incoming train on the left, now on train tracks and then stops due to other gate (which is on the right a.k.a other lane) stopping him from driving on. I watch as train rams by truck and pushes it down the tracks. Steal stopped car and go see if I can still drive my truck. Truck in ditch next to train tracks, mechanic gets out and says ''Scratch was already there, right?''.

Really? :bored:


Mr Walker
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#17

Posted 01 November 2013 - 07:00 AM

Hey mechanic, you should just drive all over the map with my car!  No, don't deliver it to me, you go on, have some fun, it's not like I called you because I wanted to use it.


Stringer Bell
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#18

Posted 01 November 2013 - 07:43 AM

Haven't got any interesting stories, but I find it disappointing that he doesn't bring a car when I sell a car to Simeon. I mean really? I'm in the middle of nowhere, I'm pretty sure I want a car there... and no, I don't want to steal one everytime I sell a car because it gives Wanted level almost always. Even when no one sees you.

 

he'll deliver it to the dock...its just some spots there he wont


Marcus-F1
  • Marcus-F1

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#19

Posted 01 November 2013 - 07:50 AM

I was driving along to catch a bounty with a friend in a stolen car. When the guy with the bounty decided to quit. So we stopped the chase obviously and called for our PV's. My friends'was delivered on the road, like it should have been. Mine in the channel, smashing its gril in the concrete.... damn mechanic....


iiGh0STt
  • iiGh0STt

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#20

Posted 01 November 2013 - 08:04 AM

waaa waaaa waaaa

mechanic cant drive my tank, or my jet or anything else i had to glitch into my f*cking garage that doesnt belong there. cry me a f*cking river.

legit mechanic gripes: driving around a block and stopping for every light.

f*ck your tanks, and your jets.


gamerzworld
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#21

Posted 01 November 2013 - 08:04 AM Edited by gamerzworld, 01 November 2013 - 08:08 AM.

4iyik.jpg

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tom_p1980
  • tom_p1980

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#22

Posted 01 November 2013 - 09:05 AM Edited by tom_p1980, 01 November 2013 - 09:06 AM.

Phones mechanic for his Elegy............gets his Sandking instead. :\

 

He's also came to drop my other car off but then proceeds to drive around the block TWICE before pulling over and letting me have my car.

 

I f*cking hate his guts.


bobblunderbust
  • bobblunderbust

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#23

Posted 01 November 2013 - 09:46 AM

I heard rockstar gave him the money we was going to get and he never gave us the money


cysticnebula1
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#24

Posted 01 November 2013 - 10:32 AM

I call the mechanic to get me a car on the bridge by fort zancudo.  Thankfully, I see the car pulling up from behind except he swerves off the bridge and lands the car underneath.  Then for no reason other then the feeling of sheer stupidity, or possibly the beating he knew was coming he drove it into the swamp and destroyed it on me...  useless.  At least when I went down there he was face down in the water as well.  I shot his dead body for good measure.


Dead Silence
  • Dead Silence

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#25

Posted 01 November 2013 - 10:53 AM

Request a car from the mechanic, appears right next to me and proceeds to drive away, eventually gets back to me via an alley. Crashing my car in the process. "Here it is", as he starts to run away.

0_0.jpg


J@bz
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#26

Posted 01 November 2013 - 10:59 AM

he ran me over once just outside the airport...then the cops killed him lol


Judicious 7
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#27

Posted 02 November 2013 - 06:02 AM

I was at Zancudo after respawning outide the base. I call my mechanic to deliver my Western Bagger. He arrives and gets off.

"She's purrin'!", he says.

I walk up to my bike, and the fool gets back on my bike as if it was his own. I immediately force him off the bike and his blip blinks red as if he wants to fight. I let him throw the first punch to see if he really wanted to go through with his impending doom. He lands the hit, and follows up with a combo. BAD MISTAKE.

I took out my nightstick and beat him within an inch of his life. Well, he died but that was the only time when he ever crossed me. Silly mechanic lol

DevsNzL
  • DevsNzL

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#28

Posted 02 November 2013 - 06:04 AM

Um just when near a bridge, he parks it up top or beneath the bridge depending where I am.  Or not delivering when I am on a main road.  So think I got a good one.





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