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The funniest thing noobs do

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SHarm
  • SHarm

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#1

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:12 AM

You're driving casually, they start shooting, I then realise they have gone into passive mode, they think they are untouchable, I just get back into the car and run them over like the bitch they are lolololol
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GTALegion
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#2

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:14 AM

-Using ATMS
-Not yelling at the store clerk to move faster
-the first time they "sneak" into Fort Zancudo
-Trying for minutes at the time to get into my "Crew + Friends" only cars

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SHarm
  • SHarm

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#3

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:15 AM

Using atms must be the worst, you don't even need to bank any cash, if so use your phone lawl

TeCNeEk
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#4

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:17 AM

-Using ATMS
-Not yelling at the store clerk to move faster
-the first time they "sneak" into Fort Zancudo
-Trying for minutes at the time to get into my "Crew + Friends" only cars

You don't need to yell. You can shoot the items behind the clerk to hurry as well.


representa
  • representa

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#5

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:19 AM

Die robbing gas stations.

 

 

I drove to the gas station with this guy to get some pisswasser, he decided to rob it. I just stood there downing pisswassers while still inside the gas station. Before I knew it the guy got shot dead by the clerk. I didnt even recieve any stars. i lol'd hard


kABUSE
  • kABUSE

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#6

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:22 AM Edited by kABUSE, 22 October 2013 - 08:22 AM.

-Using ATMS
-Not yelling at the store clerk to move faster
-the first time they "sneak" into Fort Zancudo
-Trying for minutes at the time to get into my "Crew + Friends" only cars

 ATMS are faster than the mobile version. So when i rob a store anyway i usually use them while the dude is packing my bag :D

 

also yelling is a sign of being a noob. as the guy above me said: shooting the stuff in the store brings the same result.

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GTALegion
  • GTALegion

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#7

Posted 22 October 2013 - 08:31 AM

 

-Using ATMS
-Not yelling at the store clerk to move faster
-the first time they "sneak" into Fort Zancudo
-Trying for minutes at the time to get into my "Crew + Friends" only cars

You don't need to yell. You can shoot the items behind the clerk to hurry as well.

 

 

 

-Using ATMS
-Not yelling at the store clerk to move faster
-the first time they "sneak" into Fort Zancudo
-Trying for minutes at the time to get into my "Crew + Friends" only cars

 ATMS are faster than the mobile version. So when i rob a store anyway i usually use them while the dude is packing my bag :D

 

also yelling is a sign of being a noob. as the guy above me said: shooting the stuff in the store brings the same result.

 

Yeah, maybe, but there's nothing more fun than yelling "Put the money in the bag before I use you to paint the magazine rack!" and other zingers. :)


kABUSE
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#8

Posted 22 October 2013 - 09:14 AM

 

Yeah, maybe, but there's nothing more fun than yelling "Put the money in the bag before I use you to paint the magazine rack!" and other zingers. :)

 

 

That happened on the first day GTA V Online was unlocked. The first thing i experienced before the server crashed was some child screaming at a NPC to hurry the f*ck up.. i couldn't stop laughing :D


petenasty
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#9

Posted 22 October 2013 - 09:29 AM

Die robbing gas stations.
 
 
I drove to the gas station with this guy to get some pisswasser, he decided to rob it. I just stood there downing pisswassers while still inside the gas station. Before I knew it the guy got shot dead by the clerk. I didnt even recieve any stars. i lol'd hard


I die all the time at one particular liquor store.

Once because the cops moved at light speed and by the time I got the cash and moved to the door they surrounded it and gunned my ass down before I could even move

Once because some white knight NPC in a corner pulled a gun and killed me before I could turn around

Another from a combo of NPC outside shooting and store clerk pulling a gun, couldn't react before I died.

Every time I pass that store I open the door and lob in C4. f*ck that place.
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downants
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#10

Posted 22 October 2013 - 09:57 AM

-Crash Cargobob in Docks to Stock

-Just drive randomly around the map in Extadition, altough you tell them whats going on

-Sit next to you in your supercar, send you a friend request and then think you are a gang (more like creepy stalkers)

-They try to kill you with Buzzard for 20 minutes, this is the most hilarious one


hugh750
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#11

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:16 AM

last night i went to a ls customs that was next to my garage in my sand king xl to check for upgrades and i see a noob in (i think a landstalker) he kept slamming his suv into the customs door so basically thought "what is this guy doing?"

so i get out of my truck and take out my camera phone to take his picture and he guns me down.

darn noob!!
 


IbarakiBen
  • IbarakiBen

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#12

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:24 AM Edited by IbarakiBen, 22 October 2013 - 10:25 AM.

The funniest was when one took pop shots at my car with his shotgun. I got out and he ran out of shotgun shells and ran. I sniped him and walked away. He spawned near my car and tried to steal it but couldn't, he then pulled out a pistol and shot my window and tried to get in again. Then he gets frustrated and tried to shoot my tyres on my car not knowing they are bulletproof, meanwhile mercenaries are on their way to him. I then allow all access to my car and watch through my sniper rifle as he gets in and just as he tries to smash my car up the mercs arrive to kill him. When he spawned I sniped him again.


o0eVe0o
  • o0eVe0o

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#13

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:33 AM Edited by o0eVe0o, 22 October 2013 - 10:35 AM.

i duno if this counts as a noob thing but i see this alot when doing random missions with people who arent my crew members

Host mission on hard clearly visible when people join give them time to buy armor guns etc... Mission starts Go to position A which is normally where a mass mob of bad guys are, i hang back wait for the rest of the players to get here, they come flying in to the middle of the mob die horribly before they get out of their car im left to finish the mission on my own.. this happens more then it should and im level 67 and i get high level players on random missions without my crew lol.

i do find it funny but it takes me awhile to do stuff by myself lol.

Im guilty of trying to kill people with a buzzard sometimes it works with bounties sometimes i just cant aim it lol.


UKAIDANUK
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#14

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:40 AM

 

 

Yeah, maybe, but there's nothing more fun than yelling "Put the money in the bag before I use you to paint the magazine rack!" and other zingers. :)

 

 

That happened on the first day GTA V Online was unlocked. The first thing i experienced before the server crashed was some child screaming at a NPC to hurry the f*ck up.. i couldn't stop laughing :D

 

 

I hate that so much..

 

Just casually driving around, loving life... Then suddenly...

 

"Put the cash in the bag you ***** *** ***** before i ******* in your ****** okay!!!??"


GTALegion
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#15

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:41 AM

 

 

 

Yeah, maybe, but there's nothing more fun than yelling "Put the money in the bag before I use you to paint the magazine rack!" and other zingers. :)

 

 

That happened on the first day GTA V Online was unlocked. The first thing i experienced before the server crashed was some child screaming at a NPC to hurry the f*ck up.. i couldn't stop laughing :D

 

 

I hate that so much..

 

Just casually driving around, loving life... Then suddenly...

 

"Put the cash in the bag you ***** *** ***** before i ******* in your ****** okay!!!??"

 

Haha, it still cracks me up. Especially when the whitest of white people try and be threatening.

I think the funniest I'd ever heard was someone with a Canadian accent asking politely for the guy to put the money in the bag. Then a random person said, "Get him to put some milk in that bag for ya too, ya Canucklehead!"

I f*cking lost it.


Zarathustra71
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#16

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:45 AM

Going off a cliff like lemmings when going round a tight cliff-top bend. 


Jvalor
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#17

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:46 AM

Spraying bullets at me hoping to get a kill shot as I go flying past them. I turn around and kill them and then steal their car because they dont know that they can lock their doors. Then I just watch them steal a car and try and chase me down.

Yes, it has happened way more than you would expect.

Pelican
  • Pelican

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#18

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:53 AM

Die robbing gas stations.

 

 

I drove to the gas station with this guy to get some pisswasser, he decided to rob it. I just stood there downing pisswassers while still inside the gas station. Before I knew it the guy got shot dead by the clerk. I didnt even recieve any stars. i lol'd hard

 

It's the random people that keep getting me. I go and rob a store but then there's this random person outside or inside who just pops up and starts shooting at me. I shoot back, but then the clerk pulls out his gun as well. 


IbarakiBen
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#19

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:56 AM

I heard a kid in a strip club talking dirty cause he thought he could take her home and bang her like in singleplayer. It was hilarious what he was saying as he had no idea other people could hear.


Dodger27
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#20

Posted 22 October 2013 - 11:40 AM

lol Idont know about NOOBS but last night we saw a lvl 74 gang member try to jump out the heli from 10ft as the pilot was fannying about, but because you own a pararshute the guy dives out .....flat on his face on the tarmac.lol.lol not a prity sight we died laughing..lol still laughing now at the thought..lol

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SHarm
  • SHarm

    Reincarnation of Tommy Vercetti

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#21

Posted 22 October 2013 - 11:49 AM

lol Idont know about NOOBS but last night we saw a lvl 74 gang member try to jump out the heli from 10ft as the pilot was fannying about, but because you own a pararshute the guy dives out .....flat on his face on the tarmac.lol.lol not a prity sight we died laughing..lol still laughing now at the thought..lol


That's just being caught at the wrong sh*tty mechanics :(

Hojo-88
  • Hojo-88

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#22

Posted 22 October 2013 - 12:08 PM

Went to pull a car into my garage today and I saw three dudes creeping. They were all talking to one another about how they were going to jack my ride. I stopped, pulled out my rifle and lit two of then up as they crept up the sidewalk. I went to pull in and as the animation was occurring the third guy killed me thru the back of my windshield. I spawned inside my garage dead but the car made it. So I exited and proceeded to hunt them down. After about a half dozen kills on each they kicked me. So I sent the ring leader a message letting him know how lame his little group was. If you're going to ambush people, don't get all pissy and kick them when they fight back. Especially three vs one. Anyway the leader said "inv" so I sent a request, got back in the game, and did alot of good for my K/D ration. I think over 25 kills on each of them more than 100 total with about 20 some-odd deaths on my end. All three left. I had expended almost all my ammunition. It was extremely gratifying to take all three on and still own the hell out of them.
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