Apparently I'm meant to share this here...
'A pleasurable day of relaxation' - By MikeyBelic
So today I entered an online session and had the most enjoyment I’ve had in a long time...
I got myself a helicopter and went wandering for a bit, eager to have an incredible time of course. What I came across was great, in fact I honestly didn’t even find it, I heard it. It was the sound of a tank firing so I went to investigate, I spent possibly half an hour avoiding the tank, which kept trying to fire at me and I just kept getting out of the way of everything, it was an immense thrill.
Now, this is where it gets out of the ordinary and you might think I’m a crude person. While I was avoiding the tank with the aim of destroying me, I noticed one of Simeon’s wanted cars and an additional car in hot pursuit and decided to check it out, I mean come on, the news chopper’s got to get on the scene, doesn’t it!?
When I reached both these people I had an impeccably fun time chasing them both, there chase itself went for on for a good half an hour and weaved in and out of the same areas, at times making my flying require the upmost skill when taking sharp corners and what not, very intense, if you’ve ever got the opportunity then make sure you try it out.
The next part is ... emotional?
After about half an hour the other car gave up and finally the player in control of Simeon’s wanted vehicle realized he’d earned success and began to embark on taking the familiar route to the garage Simeon owns at the port. At first I just thought I’d tag along with him, let him deliver the car, he’d worked rigid for it, but then I remembered, this is Grand Theft Auto..it isn’t a world overflowing with the most politically correct morals after all.
So you ask what did I do?
Well, while the unfortunate chap was taking his time ‘driving’ a car, unfortunately swift speed wasn’t his ally as he was operating an automobile and not an elite helicopter, his fault of course. So of course while he was taking the long route I landed my gorgeous helicopter in a faultless position, just on the road you take before you turn straight into Simeon’s garage. I got out and was all prepared and he still had to go around a corner and in a straight line towards me. It was really just a handsome sight, like an un-expecting idiot he charged right towards me and with my trusty assault rifle I mangled him in seconds, with four bullets I believe, he was still so far away that the car stopped rolling before it reached me.
Of course by doing this I occurred myself a wanted level and couldn’t drive the car without delay into the garage, so then I was left with the option of what I should do. By the time I’d thought of even going near the car he’d respawned and I knew my time was up, so what did I do next? I got a sticky bomb sir and madams and planted it to that car and hopped right back into my helicopter, bullets started spraying through the side of the helicopter from my new & very aggressive friend and I knew I had to get myself out of there so I started the helicopter up and hoped immensely that it’ll take off. Today I was fortunate, I got off the earth before my new acquaintance could start spraying bullets through the front of the chopper and end my immensely fun time.
My new aggressive friend couldn't care less about me by the time he had to put effort into killing me without his precious auto aim and immediately ran immediately to his car, by this time I had turned my chopper around and got the most gorgeous of views of the butchery and storm of fury I was about to give this poor chap. He set off at a snail's pace, enthusiastic to get the car into the garage and relieve himself of it. I watched about two seconds of this sad, hopeless display, and unleashed the hell upon him that he didn't know was coming. Yes, I detonated that f*cking sticky bomb and caused more than one explosion upon doing so and the notification that Simeon’s export vehicle had been destroyed popped up on my screen. It was an astounding feeling, and almost certainly one of the most pleasurable ones I’ve had during my time on Grand Theft Auto Online.
Thank you for listening to my tale
And after this at the same time as I was writing this beautiful piece, some moron put a bounty on me. So whilst the congregation was assembling outside my high rise, some fool in an attack helicopter decided to turn up, what did I do? I just went right outside, took out the old assault rifle and in a few seconds he was departing this world and moments later his helicopter descended into the street in a gorgeous blazing ruin causing carnage on the avenue and the assorted police, citizens and players that were amassed there.
Tl;dr? I blew some pricks car up and it felt great!