The Ballad of the Butt-Hurt
"You can't kill me." - Rain Ocampo; Resident Evil Retribution
Now, let me preface this story by informing the lot of you that I usually enjoy my GTAO sessions with the chat feature tuned so that no one can chat with me; I prefer silence over screaming and whining children, unless I'm playing with friends or crew-mates in which we'll be in our own private chat.
So, I collected a bounty yesterday and drove off back to the apartment; my Obey Tailgater was all jacked up since I couldn't drive worth a damn that time for some reason unbeknownst to me. So I pull into the garage to 'repair' the car, went upstairs to change my character's outfit walked out of the apartment. As I'm leaving, I got blasted by the fellow I'd killed for the bounty; I'd forgotten my rule of always enabling Passive Mode before walking out of your apartment. I respawned on the opposite street and immediately avenged myself with a carbine rifle, carjacked the nearest fool and headed to my original destination of the golf course.
Now, what I've come to understand is that the five other people in the session were friends of his. So as I'm heading to the golf course, I just happened to go down the same street that two of the other players were on, just to be nosy and see what they were up to. I got killed with a Combat MG as I was passing by. The person responsible remarks, "Haha yeah I got him, dude. Right in the face." Which of course meant auto-targeting, but what do you expect from a 13 year old?
I respawned and immediately took cover behind a truck and shot my killer in the head with a sniper rifle, and for good measure, the other player that was with him before hopping into the truck and taking off. As I was driving in the truck, I checked the expanded version of the mini-map and noticed that four blips on the radar were following my trail. I headed to the port, climbed in a helicopter and took off for the roof of the construction site.
Now, the original character whom I killed for a bounty is the ringleader from what I understand. He tries to attack me alone, twice. Needless to say, he failed miserably; as soon as he got near with a helicopter, I shot him out of the sky. The second time, he lands the helicopter across from me on the Maze Bank helipad. I immediately knew what he was doing before he even arrived, so I took cover, pulled out a sniper rifle and aimed, ready. As soon as he got out of the helicopter and raised his rifle, I pulled the trigger and bam, blood everywhere.
His commentary is what had me in stitches so much so, that I had to enable chat and respond. He goes, "Dude, he just f*cking sniped me from across the street before I even landed like what the f*ck." So his friend goes, "He's probably glitching dude, just report him."
So I said, "There's a significant difference between cheating and being better than you. Try not to be so predictable; I saw where you were going before you landed."
The 'leader' says, "Whatever, I'll get you soon."
I laughed and said, "Don't worry, I'll wait."
His next move was going to the hospital down the block to get a helicopter from there. Now, I got lucky with this one, I will admit. From the construction site, if you look at the hospital with the sniper rifle, the textures aren't completely rendered, so while the game acknowledges that he was there, I was too far away to see it properly. However, for some reason, as soon as he got into the helicopter, he appeared amidst the unloaded textures. I fired and got him right and the head and he started screaming. Swearing every word in the book, etc. and I was on the floor crying from laughter.
After that, the rest of my time in the session involved me roaming around in Passive Mode as they unsuccessfully tried to shoot at me and run me over, since I'd stay where vehicles couldn't reach me, and I probably got reported for "exploiting" just because they don't understand the game. Absolutely a damn good time.