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Anyone in here suffer from depression?

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PieFace2
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#511

Posted 4 weeks ago Edited by PieFace2, 4 weeks ago.

Im totaly void of all emotion now, dead on the inside.

I was raised to be a good person, do the right thing and all that horse sh*t.

 

People have been nothing but complete assholes to me, back stabbing, using me, laughing at and robbing me even my own family, no woman has ever been remotly interested in me at all, and that's when I used to stay possitive though all the bullsh*t.

I must of been a complete bastard in my past life.

 

These days at 31 years old I have completely given up I just dont have it in me anymore, have a job where I don't have to speak to anybody and the only thing keeping me going is video games and my good friends Jack Daniels and Coke, if not for that I think I would of just ended it years ago.

 

I even taken up smoking so maby the booze and cigarettes will do me in before I get to old to work :D

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ZillKentornoes
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#512

Posted 4 weeks ago

Bi polar or manic depression. I have suicidal thoughts sometimes. Last year I managed to quit my vices and get a somewhat, clear and balanced as I could have, mind. 2016 was my best year in so long. It took A LOT of will power and kind of brainwashing myself into positive thinking. Therapists did nothing for me. You have to change yourself imo. One trick I used was seriously not giving an F about anything anymore. Being suicidal I felt I was going to die anyways so that actually gave me the confidence to do literally anything. I was taking insane risks last year, good and bad but that seriously made 2016 one of my best, legendary years in this life. Fast foward to now I'm back to my vices and slowly slipping once again. My anxiety is much, much lower than what it used to be but the depression will return in full force when it wants to. Well...mainly due to my f*ck ups, addictions and lifestyle choices... so its all my fault. I hate myself when I think about my mistakes, how I let my family down and my girlfriend who is the only woman in the world I could ever have feelings for. I'm still optomistic with this life "I" just have to make the necessary changes...again. My mood is always up and down like a rollercoaster. Anyways, im pretty much dead inside, I hate most ppl and I'm highly desensitized to voilence and death

PsychoAnarchy666
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#513

Posted 3 weeks ago Edited by PsychoAnarchy666, 3 weeks ago.

Right here my friend. My life has been a rollercoaster ride but not a fun one. The recent past few years have not been kind to me for some reason. I'd love to share everything but to an outsider they'd probably just think differently and not understand. Ill say these couple things though. Haven't had a real life friend as suppose to an online one witch i haven't had either but as for a real life one,it's been some years now and for online about a couple months. Don't have a girlfriend,i'm 18 btw,just turned back in december. Don't go outside much. Basically i'm just a loner who keeps to myself and the only people i've talked to have been my mom,dad,aunt,grandmother,two cousins and my uncle but rarely. I have a sister but haven't spoke to her in over two years now cause she got into a huge fight with my mom cause she's got problems herself so she decided to disconnect from the family,definitely been missing her and yeah,that's pretty much what i can say so my life ain't pretty. I also got autism,high functioning. Annoys me that people use the term autistic as an insult to someone,just had to say throw that in there.

SonicTheSexhog
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#514

Posted 3 weeks ago Edited by SonicTheSexhog, 3 weeks ago.

I read that depression apparently is extremely common, like almost everyone has it at some point in their life. But I don't get it. Does that mean the high functioning, perfectly "normal" people I see every day have depression?
I don't know if I have depression myself I mean I guess I have the symptoms but my therapist never specifically said I do have it (I never asked him either). But I'm really worried that I compare myself to other people and I feel like I'm bad at being depressed since I'm always tired and lazy and have no motivation to do anything, and as a result I fail at almost everything, and I don't enjoy anything, etc. And I thought "well it just means I have depression and need to work on that, not that I'm a useless piece of sh*t" but I guess I must be since apparently the people I see on the street and my friends and everyone who seems to have their life worked out also has or had depression. And they are seemingly better at having depression than me.

I also wonder if depression is always just an attitude problem OR something you can fix with meds. I don't take meds but I don't imagine myself being able to change my attitudes and stop being depressed either. I think I've felt this way since I was 18, I'm in my mid 20s now. I wasn't particularly cheerful as a teen either but I guess I didn't care too much back then. But it got worse every year, when I think I'm hitting bottom and can only get better, it later gets worse. I have trouble moving my limbs, getting dressed, walking, paying attention to people who talk to me, etc. I have trouble falling asleep and I always wake up super tired. I stopped enjoying music and movies and videogames. I stopped liking food I used to love. My therapist just keeps telling me I need to find new stuff to do, like try new activities that I don't know yet that I will enjoy, and go out and enjoy life more, but I don't get it.


Scaglietti
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#515

Posted 3 weeks ago

I think most people get depression at some point in their life, it's pretty normal in that regard. Either mild or chronic or anything in between, over something traumatic, etc. The one that confuses me the most and that I have is the type that comes for seemingly no reason, can't even explain it, and kind of just comes and goes over the years. Whenever I try to explain why I'm depressed, it's just blah. Back in elementary I couldn't even pinpoint a reason but it was bad to the point where I needed to see a counselor. Boy, did that turn out well. :sarcasm: I get a year where I'm feeling great for the most part and then the next I'm all over the place. Rinse and repeat.


Murdick
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#516

Posted 3 weeks ago

Sat on my bathroom floor reading forums at 2am, ranting about the most embarrassing f*cked up situations Ive encountered recently, staring at a bottle of listerine that I don't even like the taste of. Just a tad depressed recently. 😔 lol.

anthony
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#517

Posted 3 weeks ago Edited by anthony, 3 weeks ago.

You guys should have a goal to reach, anything that you like and never get or manage to become then go for it. Whatever the goal, just do it for yourself and don't bother to even care of other peoples, be selfish (kind of) and trust yourself to become the best.

Don't let anything worry you. It sure sound easy but try to stay positive as much as possible.
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Scaglietti
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#518

Posted 3 weeks ago

You guys should have a goal to reach, anything that you like and never get or manage to become then go for it. Whatever the goal, just do it for yourself and don't bother to even care of other peoples, be selfish (kind of) and trust yourself to become the best.
Don't let anything worry you. It sure sound easy but try to stay positive as much as possible.

Believe me I try to have stuff to look forward to and stay occupied. I think I need to see a therapist or something. It just gets to a point where I feel like it just doesn't help. I have no real engagement in most of my interests anymore I feel like I just force it. I try tonchange things up I still feel the same.

anthony
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#519

Posted 3 weeks ago

You can try to meet people and clear your mind, remove all the lock inside. Travelling is a good idea I think.


Scaglietti
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#520

Posted 3 weeks ago

Travelling helps but it's definitely not something I can do, like, any time soon. And then third semester starts in August, definitely can't then.

ZillKentornoes
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#521

Posted 3 weeks ago

You can try to meet people and clear your mind, remove all the lock inside. Travelling is a good idea I think.

 

Travelling helps but it's definitely not something I can do, like, any time soon. And then third semester starts in August, definitely can't then.

 

 

In my experience, traveling doesn't help much. For me its nice for the first few days but I get homesick after that and when I think about home, it feels like I'm running away from problems rather than facing them which is the best thing to do. I believe the only way traveling would truly help me is if I visited a poor country and witnessed the impoverishment personally. Then my 1st world problems would feel ridiculous by comparison

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boyy
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#522

Posted 3 weeks ago

Am manic depressive, so maybe just a tad.

 

My life is in shambles for the 60th time and I'm totally choosing to ignore it for the moment.

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Milfrah
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#523

Posted 3 weeks ago

Been plagued with anxiety/depression on and off my whole life. Right now is particularly trying because I hate my job. Not so much the job itself but the company that owns where I work, the terrible construction-riddled expressway hour-long drive to get there, some of the people in management, the new unit, some of my poisonous co-workers who management let wreak havoc on our continuous crisis-level staffing shortage/rapid turnover rate. I just seethe and feel numb with anger on the way there, and cry in my car on the way home after a long 12 hour shift.

 

Only Xanax takes away the feeling of impending doom.

Only Norco takes away the stress-induced migraines I've been getting because NSAIDs flare my gastritis up so bad.

Uugh. I hate being this way.

 

Trying to get a position in a different place that's more laid-back, closer to home, and has less staffing issues. Problem is it's sort of a competitive place to get into and for one reason or another, all three times I've tried to get in so far have fallen through.

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overminded
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#524

Posted 3 weeks ago

Depression is a specific mental disorder. According to statistics, today every tenth person older than 40 years suffers from depression, and more so women. I think many people had this condition or something similar. I often experienced depression in my youth and it was often associated with personal life and study. I had to fight it. Since I had some problems with math statistics I used the resource Assignment.Essayshark. It helped me and gave me a push with other positive changes.


PieFace2
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#525

Posted 2 weeks ago Edited by PieFace2, 2 weeks ago.

Iv'e become an expert at hiding my depression, like today at work I could talk about random stuff, have a laugh and a joke with the few people I did meet.

 

Life is just too stressfull for me most of the time, most of my stress is money related, directly and indirectly.


jwdrinkwaterjr
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#526

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi, my name is Jamie, and I have been labeled by a doctor as "depressed".

I was also raised by parents who said "Work hard, always do the right thing, look for the best in people, and you will succeed in life".

While this was good advice when their parents told them this, it is no longer true in today's day and age.

I married my gf when I got out of the army. I worked 80+ hours a week on the Golden Road up here where they filmed American Loggers. I dropped everything to help my friends whenever I was home even when it meant giving up my very precious spare time.

In 2012 I got in a wreck by St Just Quebec. I broke my neck and my back. Tore my brachial nerve group out of my spine. Damaged my inner shoulder joint, blew apart a rotator cuff. Severed bicep tendon and torn tendons in my hand.

My employer and his insurance company totally screwed me. After nearly 13 years on the job. My shoulder got fixed but that was it. Have to live with the rest of it.

My wife left as soon as I was no longer a 22 wheeled ATM machine. With probably my closest friend. Also turns out she was heavily into drugs.

I had two years of hell. I mean total, wish you were dead every day hell. I had made well over a million dollars trucking but lost everything in the divorce and everything I had left could fit in a duffel bag.

My ex and her family did everything they could to keep my kids from me. This was the absolute worst of it all. When you take away someone's reason for being, the very way they define themselves, what do they have left?

On the advice of a total stranger I took up weight lifting. It helped immeasurably. For both my body and my mind. I met somebody new. Somebody who I'm still with who is totally awesome. I got a new job. In the woods again, but a physically less demanding gig that pays better. One of the kids moved in with me.

Thing is, I am now a cynical, jaded, bitter mofo. And I don't see this ever changing. Even tho I am actually in the best place I've ever been.

Depression is not a chemical imbalance. It's what happens to good people in today's world.
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wosniies
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#527

Posted A week ago Edited by wosniies, A week ago.

No. Depression is for lazy people that don't know how or don't want to deal with their life situation.

I have to disagree with you on this, as I know much about depression. I have been depressed since I was 13 years old (im 26 now).
I can say that it all had a trigger from the past. 

 

Depression can be there for so many reasons and it can be beyond our knowledge, simply because we havent experienced them all ourselves. 
So lets say if a person with severe depression or bipolar, which is a depression that can come from traumas or events/happenings from when you were younger, its a kind of depression that might need therapy, and its not some kind of teenage insecurity/puberty depression.

 

And we have a depression who can come from a broken up relationship or marriage/loss of familymembers etc. 

 

There are so many triggers for depressions, that we can never really tell anyone to "get over it and move on" .. I know this very well myself.

But I see your point of the situation where you rather be stuck or do something about it, but some depressions needs proffesional help and therapy to learn to either live with it and deal with it or to get better in the future. 

 

But calling it lazy, is incorrect imo. 

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Scaglietti
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#528

Posted A week ago Edited by Scaglietti, A week ago.

Oh yeah, I'm lazy because I'm depressed. I mean even though I was able to get the grades I wanted to get into the college I wanted and still take the time out to do things I enjoy that should help me, I guess I'm very lazy.

f*ck logic right? People who say depressed people are lazy or need to get over it are better off just keeping their mouths shut because running it letting that unhelpful judgemental garbage out without knowing what they're on about is hardly motivational. Two kinds of people say this crap. Those who "got over" depression and think everybody is the same, and those who haven't gone through it and don't know what the hell they're talking about.

I'd be damned if I called someone depressed thinking about killinh themselves lazy. Where the f*ck do people get off saying that crap. Especially over the internet as some know nothing random?
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#529

Posted A week ago Edited by Mister Pink, A week ago.

Hi, my name is Jamie, and I have been labeled by a doctor as "depressed".

I was also raised by parents who said "Work hard, always do the right thing, look for the best in people, and you will succeed in life".

While this was good advice when their parents told them this, it is no longer true in today's day and age.

I married my gf when I got out of the army. I worked 80+ hours a week on the Golden Road up here where they filmed American Loggers. I dropped everything to help my friends whenever I was home even when it meant giving up my very precious spare time.

In 2012 I got in a wreck by St Just Quebec. I broke my neck and my back. Tore my brachial nerve group out of my spine. Damaged my inner shoulder joint, blew apart a rotator cuff. Severed bicep tendon and torn tendons in my hand.

My employer and his insurance company totally screwed me. After nearly 13 years on the job. My shoulder got fixed but that was it. Have to live with the rest of it.

My wife left as soon as I was no longer a 22 wheeled ATM machine. With probably my closest friend. Also turns out she was heavily into drugs.

I had two years of hell. I mean total, wish you were dead every day hell. I had made well over a million dollars trucking but lost everything in the divorce and everything I had left could fit in a duffel bag.

My ex and her family did everything they could to keep my kids from me. This was the absolute worst of it all. When you take away someone's reason for being, the very way they define themselves, what do they have left?

On the advice of a total stranger I took up weight lifting. It helped immeasurably. For both my body and my mind. I met somebody new. Somebody who I'm still with who is totally awesome. I got a new job. In the woods again, but a physically less demanding gig that pays better. One of the kids moved in with me.

Thing is, I am now a cynical, jaded, bitter mofo. And I don't see this ever changing. Even tho I am actually in the best place I've ever been.

Depression is not a chemical imbalance. It's what happens to good people in today's world.

 

Thanks for sharing this. Those events must have been very challenging. I'm glad you met someone new and you've taken up weightlifting. These sound like very positive things. I will say it's normal to feel cynical and jaded, especially after such traumatic events but I know from experience it doesn't stay like that forever. You'll always carry that little bit more caution in your choices due to the past but that's just wisdom and learning from life experience. The cynicism usually can develop in to a constructive cautiousness, personally speaking. 

 

Keep being mindful. You have the choice to make the present and your future something positive. :)

 

... 

 

As for ΣΓ's comments on laziness and depression, that comment was made 4yrs ago, so lets give him the benefit of doubt that his views may have changed since. 

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Gummy 
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#530

Posted 5 days ago

I've been feeling absolutely f*cking low these last few weeks.

 

I feel severe depression and it's due to my other mental illnesses. I'm motorically impaired somewhat (ADHD (diagnosed), possibly hebephrenic schizophrenia and probably others) and I'm just completely behind too many people, even to those younger than me. Others are more social in nature, bipolar, heavy anxiety, possible OCD and probably many others. Meds are too expensive, too ineffective, and too out of reach. High school wasn't pleasant at all, it was hell to go through with all social and academic problems. I'm quite skeptical about my future too. Facing adulthood and I'm only 2% ready. 

Been having suicidal thoughts non stop too lately.

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PieFace2
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#531

Posted 5 days ago Edited by PieFace2, 5 days ago.

I'm sure things will improve Gummy, your only 18.

Don't let anyone get you down.


Urban Legends
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#532

Posted 5 days ago

Being sad from time to time is good for you. Sometimes you need to reflect on things. Your allowed to feel your emotions whenever you want...not just once a month. Just take your situation into consideration and understand how we have grown over time and evolved.

How do you truly want to feel. How do sophisticated people handle things. This probably isnt the topic for me to read considering my life right now. Holy crap. Reading just two of the "posts". Well ya that does it. Just trying to have a good day thinking positive..knowing its a load a sh*t.

Im not talking to anyone specific so enjoy your day dont let me ruin it...
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Nitrous~
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#533

Posted 5 days ago

After reading some posts in this topic I think I am lucky to be where I am now after so many years of people being total assholes to me, I swear I didn't do sh*t to deserve that, but I managed to go trough and by now I forgot many things, I know sometimes sh*t gets really bad, and most of the times the people who suffer depression isn't their fault,but you really really need to put all your energy on getting out of the hole.

I wish all the people here good luck in getting out of there, and please don't lose hope, don't trust assholes, ignore bad people, and try your best at everything you like.

MuntyJack
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#534

Posted 4 days ago

from time to time, esp it's hard in winter


PieFace2
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#535

Posted 2 days ago

I have nothing and nobody here in England and doing nothing with my life other than going around in circles looking for work, pay tax's/rent and repeat, im just so bored with this life.

 

In 2 weeks im off to Lille, France to join the French Foreign Legion on a minimum 5 year contract.

 

They do have some rigorous training but im in very good health so im sure I will pass without too much trouble.

 

Au Revoir





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