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Best and funniest GTA V quotes!

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DrandonBavis
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#1

Posted 22 September 2013 - 04:59 AM

Hello! I'm just making this thread for fun. I want everyone to type down as many funny gta v quotes as they can, in quotes with the character or person who said it. I especially like random pedestrian quotes. There's a poop load of funny material, so make it good people!

I'll start off.

"Yep, he's f*cking dead."-random paramedic after examining a a shooting victim
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Clamyo
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#2

Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:04 AM

Don't hate me because i'm beautiful nigga - Lamar

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StarVisitor
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#3

Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:07 AM

"Computer gamers with their computer rigs. All they do is cry. They will never get the game." - Trevor 

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dre120v
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#4

Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:10 AM

"I'll help you put out so you can get ahead."

Dotseoem
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#5

Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:12 AM Edited by Dotseoem, 22 September 2013 - 05:12 AM.

"You're a hipster"   :)

 

Spoiler

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confederatestatesgta
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#6

Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:13 AM

ok here is a couple sentences

 

you said you werent gonna hit me.    wade

 

YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA FIND f*ckING MICHAEL TOWNLY!!!   trevor    

 

 

NOW WOULD YOU GET ME A f*ckING DRINK IM NOT GONNA ASK YOU AGAIN!!       trevor

 

 

 

wait i aint got no booze       floyde

 

 

THEN YOU GO OUT AND f*ckING GET ME SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!   trevor

 

 

 

 

there are plenty more funny quotes from trevor i could say he is so funny. trevor ftw

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JRC99
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#7

Posted 22 September 2013 - 08:10 AM Edited by JRC99, 08 September 2014 - 03:59 PM.

"Grumble grumble grumble I've got my work grumble grumble grumble I've got my life, never the two shall meet" -Trevor talking about Michael. That sh*t had me laughing for 5 minutes

 

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=LfBn7GUrQ_Y

 

9:01

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TheSwex
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#8

Posted 22 September 2013 - 08:17 AM

The entire drive with Wade where Trevor told him the story of the boy named Tricia and the fat troll under the bridge named Michelle.

 

Wade: A girl troll?

 

Trevor: Ehhhhh he had tits like one but no, no he wasn't.

 

I was in tears.

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reaperjmc6
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#9

Posted 25 September 2013 - 12:34 PM

trevor- "well hello there beautiful. here go buy yourself something nice"

 

girl- "this is 7 dollars?!

 

trevor- "i said something nice not something expensive!"

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DownwardGoose
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#10

Posted 25 September 2013 - 12:36 PM

Not sure about the correct translation but...

 

'BABABABABABBBBBABABABABABBABAKABKAKAKAKAKA'

 

- Trevor Phillips

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Hitchens
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#11

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:02 PM Edited by Hitchens, 25 September 2013 - 01:09 PM.

Weird qoute first... that I hear a lot from some random hispanic pedestrian....

 

 

"f*ck me indie ass"  They... set that to where its said just a bit to much....

 

 

Funny quotes.... from favorite cs...

 

aunt: this is seven dollars!"

 

T: I said something nice, not expensive, you wanna be a greedy f*ckin cow huh? Nooo... now get the f*ck outta here.... (right in their face.... the way lamar looks at trevor the whole time just makes me laugh, favorite scene)

 

 

from same scene

 

T: what f*ckin thing? I love things, I'm the king of things!

 

T: f*ckn beautiful perfect its a gang bang cmon!

 

Lamar: Where dis nigga from man?

 

T:Just a few homeboys in tha hood!

 

lmao

 

So much funny in that mission... until Franklin starts bitchin otw home...

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TheDominoEffect
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#12

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:06 PM

"You're a hipster"   :)

 

Spoiler

This convo made me lol

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Purplefowler
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#13

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:10 PM

Random pedestrian on the phone "well you want to know who your daddy is? I'll tell you. It was an immaculate conception! God came down from heaven and gave yo momma the best night of her life..." , there was more of it but I can't remember the rest but it was funny enough for me to stop what I was doing to listen :)
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Bernard Jazz
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#14

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:11 PM

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Green Flamenco
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#15

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:11 PM

"All he doe is smoke pot, jerk off and play that damn game"

 

Or something similar to that.

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Ekoms
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#16

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:24 PM

"I fingered a dog, and tea bagged an elder lady at a bus stop" -weirdo

 

Literally just heard this 1 minute ago in a strangers & freak mission. Lol

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PatrickJr.
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#17

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:25 PM

when T runs over a Coyote and says "Squish" or "10 Points"


backlynx
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#18

Posted 25 September 2013 - 01:28 PM

"Kifflom"

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blk95ta
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#19

Posted 25 September 2013 - 02:24 PM

"Screw this! I'm moving to Vice City!" said by a random person after i carjacked them.

maliksharife
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#20

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:06 PM Edited by maliksharife, 25 September 2013 - 03:09 PM.

I'm driving, you can jerk me off if I get bored... I'm joking, you can suck me off. - Trevor


dodgerfan4eva
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#21

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:09 PM

when lamar tells franklin that he's aunt has a fat ass lol

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fwenshy
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#22

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:21 PM

Two peds having a conversation, one is telling a boring story that I can't remember. But the other peds response to everything he's saying is "I don't care" . Well....I found it funny
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Masher8559
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#23

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:25 PM

"Whoa baby, that's enough! I'm a whore not a slut" Hooker after you use all 3 services. 

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dodgerfan4eva
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#24

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:31 PM

Two peds having a conversation, one is telling a boring story that I can't remember. But the other peds response to everything he's saying is "I don't care" . Well....I found it funny

sound alot like some of the topics on this forums lol

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Peregrin Brandytook
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#25

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:33 PM

"do you want me to get my dick out again" -trevor


l911
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#26

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:36 PM

"Dam hipsters, you ruin everything for everyone" - T.

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joshua969
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#27

Posted 25 September 2013 - 03:37 PM

"Floyd..we're having people over.  We need chips, dip, and prostitutes" - Trevor


Kuntman_Mike
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#28

Posted 25 September 2013 - 04:00 PM

Franklin had some interesting conversations with that labrador that kept showing up in his skydiving missions with Dom. Made me chuckle quite a bit!

 

"Woof"!


LadyFondou
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#29

Posted 25 September 2013 - 04:04 PM

My favorite:

 

"Mom? MOM? What're you doing here?!?!?!"

 

*Trevor breaks down and cries*

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Vega Fve
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#30

Posted 25 September 2013 - 04:13 PM Edited by Vega Fve, 25 September 2013 - 04:14 PM.

Not really a quote, but Jimmy in full military outfit teabagging Michael was pretty damn funny. I know he said something while he was doing that but i can't quite remember.

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