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Lost Love

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Viscosity
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#1

Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:19 AM Edited by Viscosity, 10 February 2014 - 04:32 PM.

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Mission 1: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/27952
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Mission 2: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/27964
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Mission 3: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/27975
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Mission 4: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/279972dwdg8g.jpg

Mission 5: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28013
11w9edc.jpgMission 6: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28067

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Mission 7: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28107

Mission 8: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28114

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Mission 9: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28732

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Mission 10: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28766
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Mission 11: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/29865

Mission 12: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/30365


Revolver1
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#2

Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:50 AM

lol you should not have used someone's name as your main character. It makes start some conflict and end up an arguement, then ban, sh*t like that.

Just change your main character's name.

Beside that everything is good.


Terano
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#3

Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:39 AM

Story is Modern and Graphics are Ancient Style,

I like it!....

 

@Revolver

Abeer is her friend so I don't think he mind it!

 

 

Spoiler

 

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KingFZ
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#4

Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:54 AM

lady mission designer cool and name of main character name is also good lol.

Target13
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#5

Posted 14 September 2013 - 10:44 AM

Eh...Abeer? Hahaha.

Anyway, I'm curious to see the gameplay of this cause it doesn't look like it will contain any shooting or stuff.


Revolver1
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#6

Posted 14 September 2013 - 01:21 PM

Eh...Abeer? Hahaha.
Anyway, I'm curious to see the gameplay of this cause it doesn't look like it will contain any shooting or stuff.

You don't need shooting to be happy. Just some scary gameplay is fine for me.

Viscosity
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#7

Posted 14 September 2013 - 01:34 PM

I have uploaded my first mission

Please give your feedback about it (its my first mission so please don't be rude)

 

@Target13: It will have action missions in future and a twist too.

@Revolver: I know the graphics make it look like that its a scary story but its not (I used the pictures from a game)


Abeer
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#8

Posted 14 September 2013 - 01:59 PM Edited by Abeer, 14 September 2013 - 02:00 PM.

I was about to say all the best to you for your mp, until I noticed my name...in your story! :blink:

 

Who...What...Why...Ah I don't know how to react!

 

Hope this is not another joke on me, You should told me first that you are using my name...never mind...

 

"Brutal Embarrassment"??? All the best for brutally embarrassing Abeer :barf:


Revolver1
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#9

Posted 14 September 2013 - 02:13 PM

I was about to say all the best to you for your mp, until I noticed my name...in your story! :blink:

 

Who...What...Why...Ah I don't know how to react!

 

Hope this is not another joke on me, You should told me first that you are using my name...never mind...

 

"Brutal Embarrassment"??? All the best for brutally embarrassing Abeer :barf:

Eh don't be mad dude, I thought you two were friends.

I told you Visco, don't use other designers' name, especially in missions like this. If it was a hero or military or something else, it would have been great. But these kinds of mission... not so much I guess.


Viscosity
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#10

Posted 14 September 2013 - 02:44 PM Edited by Viscosity, 14 September 2013 - 02:45 PM.

@Revolver: He's never minds, he is like water, makes noise when boiling then diffuse like steam.

@Abeer: I already made one mission and started working on 2nd one, please let it go this time. Next time, I'll ask first.

If anyone is interested in telling their real name, I'll make them one of the character in mission too. 


Terano
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#11

Posted 14 September 2013 - 04:16 PM

@Revolver: He's never minds, he is like water, makes noise when boiling then diffuse like steam.

@Abeer: I already made one mission and started working on 2nd one, please let it go this time. Next time, I'll ask first.

If anyone is interested in telling their real name, I'll make them one of the character in mission too. 

 

I want to give my name in this story!

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Chips237
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#12

Posted 14 September 2013 - 04:39 PM Edited by Chips237, 14 September 2013 - 04:41 PM.

I played the mission. You have nice designing skills, but improvement on spacing and coloring would make the MP better.

Pretty nice story, but I didn't get what happened at the end.

Spoiler

Overall: 8.7/10

P.S my real name is Karl if you are interested on using it.


Target13
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#13

Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:00 PM

Don't even think of using my name is this story.

(For those who know my name, Don't say it.)

 

Anyway, I'm gonna play your mission after homework.

IF I HAVE ANYTIME LEFT...CURSE YOU GEOMETRY TEACHERS!!! 


Viscosity
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#14

Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:09 PM Edited by Viscosity, 14 September 2013 - 06:17 PM.

@Chips: Thanks for rating, I really did expect this high rating for my first mission. I tried to give color coding like...

  • Dialog with purple is what  "Abeer" character is thinking. (Sometimes talking to himself)
  • Green is Time, year and place.
  • Yellow, red and white are for objectives.

@Alokik and Chips: There are characters such as a cop, gun dealer, bank manage, bodyguard, Mafia boss etc (I may have missed some, but its most of them, some may appear in only one mission other may in more then one)

 

Now you decide either I assign you randomly myself or you would like to choose by yourself.

 

@Target: Oh really,

Spoiler
 

 

Edit:

Second mission uploaded, Feel free to give feedback or point out areas which could be improved


kk.
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#15

Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:57 PM Edited by Syndrome, 14 September 2013 - 07:13 PM.


@Target: Oh really,

Spoiler
 

 

 

Mohammed Ismael (if I remember/spelled correctly).


Terano
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#16

Posted 15 September 2013 - 04:22 AM Edited by Alokik, 15 September 2013 - 04:30 AM.

Yeah! T13's name is good for any mafia Character LOL! :lol:

 

@Viscosity

I want my name for that character that appear in more missions! :beerhat:

and you can assign it according to yourself . :)

 

Mission#1 and #2 Review

 

Mission#1

Its just simple mission and good as first mission

 

Mission#2

The Idea of subconscious mind is totally surprise for me! I like it Very much!

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Viscosity
  • Viscosity

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#17

Posted 15 September 2013 - 06:17 AM Edited by Viscosity, 15 September 2013 - 06:17 AM.

LOL, I won't use Target's name without his permission, I was just kidding.

@Alokik: Thanks for your feedback, Is Alokik your real name?

Then So far I got two name 

Karl and Alokik


kk.
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#18

Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:15 AM

You can use name Lukas, it's mine.


Viscosity
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#19

Posted 15 September 2013 - 01:55 PM Edited by Viscosity, 15 September 2013 - 02:46 PM.

Mission 3 uploaded and now Chapter 1 is completed. Please tell me how you like the story so far.
Here is a quiz for all of you regarding Chapter 1, please take part
What do you think will happen next
1. Abeer will go back to his home.
2. He'll commit suicide.
3. He'll make a plan to rob a bank.
4. He'll kill the Dean.
5. He'll find a job.
6. He'll join a Gang.

The Odyssey
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#20

Posted 15 September 2013 - 02:02 PM

My names Trent, if you want to use it.

Viscosity
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#21

Posted 15 September 2013 - 04:04 PM

Topic update,Check out the character list.


AlexanderS4
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#22

Posted 15 September 2013 - 08:40 PM

Cool topic, Viscosity. I'll play this when I got sometime and I'll tell you what I think.

Just a question, why the font size of the mission names and links are so big?

Anyway, good luck. 


Martin_GDF
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#23

Posted 15 September 2013 - 10:44 PM Edited by Martin_GDF, 15 September 2013 - 10:45 PM.

Abeer and Alokik ^^ YEY 

 

I will check it out :3 it must be cool


Abeer
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#24

Posted 16 September 2013 - 04:58 AM Edited by Abeer, 16 September 2013 - 04:59 AM.

Not bad for a girl Ha ha. I really like the story, its different, not many people make story like this

Spoiler
. Really, People get to choose if they want to be in it or not?
Spoiler

 

Here's what I think will happen.

1. Abeer will go back to his home.

I don't think so

2. He'll commit suicide.

Unless you don't want to continue his story i.e continue

Spoiler

3. He'll make a plan to rob a bank.

I think so as you have given Lukas Bank manager character.

4. He'll kill the Dean.

Nah... :sarcasm:...Nah

5. He'll find a job.

That's what I would have done in real life.

6. He'll join a Gang.

Yes, I think he will join a gang in which Alokik is the Godfather

Spoiler

 

Spoiler
:blush: Just asking


Viscosity
  • Viscosity

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#25

Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:55 AM

@Abeer: Thanks... :breadfish: ...for feedback

Spoiler
:blush: Just asking

Since when did you became interested in girls? hmm


Terano
  • Terano

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#26

Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:58 AM

 

 

Will I get the girl in the end? :blush: Just asking

 

I think, You not get the girl because You never insinuate that girl.

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Viscosity
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#27

Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:08 AM Edited by Viscosity, 16 September 2013 - 06:10 AM.


 

 

 

Will I get the girl in the end? :blush: Just asking

 

I think, You not get the girl because You never insinuate that girl.

 

Yeah, no one gets the girl by just staring at her and blushing  :yawn:


Terano
  • Terano

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#28

Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:16 AM Edited by Alokik, 16 September 2013 - 06:19 AM.

I played 1st Chapter and I like it because this type of mission never created nor played by me.

 

What Happened next Quiz Answer:- 

1. Abeer will go back to his home.

 

Spoiler

2. He'll commit suicide.

 

Spoiler

3. He'll make a plan to rob a bank.

 

Spoiler

4. He'll kill the Dean.

 

Spoiler

5. He'll find a job.

 

Spoiler

6. He'll join a Gang.

 

 

Spoiler


Revolver1
  • Revolver1

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#29

Posted 16 September 2013 - 07:26 AM Edited by Revolver1, 16 September 2013 - 07:27 AM.

Ok, I've played this, and here are some feedbacks from me:

Pros:

1. Colour text (Good use of colour)

2. Nice cutscenes.

Cons:

1. Long drive (from Dillimore to Santa Maria Beach, omg)

2. Not bad but not excellent grammar (if you know what I mean)

3. Random Capital Letters (what's up with it anyway)

4. Not using '. It's hard to tell weather it's ''its'' or ''it's'' (if you know what I mean)

Tips:

1. Use Notepad++ to add  ', etc

2. Whatever you do, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, NEVER EVER EVER make long driving. It's very frustating. People mostly play DYOM for shooting, not for driving (mostly that is)

 

Overall, it was a fine chapter.

 

Now I answer the questions:

1. Abeer will go back to his home.

Spoiler

2. He'll commit suicide.

Spoiler

3. He'll make a plan to rob a bank.

Spoiler

4. He'll kill the Dean.

Spoiler

5. He'll find a job.

Spoiler

6. He'll join a Gang. 

Spoiler


Viscosity
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#30

Posted 16 September 2013 - 10:09 AM Edited by Viscosity, 16 September 2013 - 12:27 PM.

@Revolver: Thanks for feedback and tips, I made a lot of mistakes didn't I, sorry. I'll try to improve in future.

Thanks to all who answered, now I know whats your perspectives are.

 

Edit:

New mission uploaded please try it and let me know how it was. And really sorry to action seekers, I promise there will action in the next mission :die:





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