I have gathered some post that highlight why I think that you may be looking at it all wrong. I don't think that you were able to look back a few pages to see it here. I will discuss your post at the end.
You brought up some great points, and unfortunately not everyone can be satisfied by everything. Me for instance, I hated the driving in IV; however, I got used to it, but I always preferred not to drive. I think the fact that is hardest for people to take is from your second point. The graphics are so much better, and it makes it difficult to take an adjustment that augments further from reality. However, this game and video games in general aren't made to simulate real life to the T. They are meant to help you escape and immerse yourself in another world. For me I feel like I would be more immersed if I am a badass driver weaving in and out of traffic with perfection. It keeps the persona that I am a high end criminal literally making millions of dollars. Do you think a real gangster as successful as our previous protagonist would have been driving into wall and lampost, hitting pedestrians and doing 360 flips in the air?
This gives me a more badass impression from my character not requiring all that practice it took me to get good at driving in GTA IV. I can also appreciate though that it is something that you are looking for; however, from what I see of the leaks not every car handles the same. Before this post gets any longer I am going to end it, but if you care to continue please reply. It seems as though you had sense and weren't aggressive.
Thing is, real gangsters are skilled. They know exactly what they're doing and they probably wouldn't be driving into walls and lamposts or hitting pedestrians etc, but they're skilled. They've been doing this a long time and they've mastered some arts.
Which is pretty much what I wish and hoped the game tried to make us do. If we want to get that badass feeling of weaving in and out of traffic at top speeds, I feel they should have altered the body roll from IV and made it feel less boaty and have us master it so we get a huge satisfaction when we pull it off, but what they shouldn't do is almost completely remove it no matter which car you're driving. Why? Because after a while it just looks and probably feels mindless. It's almost impossible to crash in certain cars and for sure bikes, and even if you do crash, the physics a lot of the time decides to cut you EVEN MORE slack, and gently pushes you away from the crash and acts like it never happened, without any kind of feel of impact or consequence. It looks... mind numbing.
Also, if they plan on acting as if certain crashes and nicks didn't even happen, they should at least cancel out that arcadeyness (not a word) by making driving harder. If they want to make driving super easy, they should at least act as if crashes and nicks DO register. Even if slightly annoying at times, I loved the feeling of just dodging an incoming vehicle knowing that if I had crashed, with 4 star police on my back, it'd all be over. That was badass. Now, in V, I won't even care that much, because 1. hardly any damage would probably be registered, 2. The game's physics might kindly help me out and glide me away from the dangerous collision and 3.) I know it won't be long before I accelerate back to a very high speed away from the collision again.
Lastly, if this was how they planned it and there aren't any glitches or anything at play, I don't understand the point of upgrading your vehicle's armor. On streams and videos, even when people were actually trying to wreck their vehicle, it took them 8+ minutes of top speed crashes and unloading their own ammo into the car to do it, why would anybody seriously demand a stronger car than that?