September 17th is just around the corner and I know everyone is excited to finally get their copy of Grand Theft Auto 5. The community has waited and waited, most before ever seeing the very first trailer released by Rockstar Games. Most of you will be traveling to the midnight release because you simply cannot wait until the doors open at 9 or 10 AM on that Tuesday. Well I, Impotent Rage - America's favorite liberal superhero, have a message to you, the GTA Net community:
DO NOT PURCHASE GRAND THEFT AUTO V
Did you know that as we speak, mega corporations owned by Republicans are pumping out volcano loads of carbon emissions into the atmosphere to create the disks that will be going into your consoles that also destroy the liberal environment?
Did you also know that every time you purchase a copy of Grand Theft Auto V, the Republican owned companies who receive your money then donate it to Jock Cranley? A man who want's us all to drive a deadly Maibatsu Monstrosity and ride coal powered locomotives instead of driving our eco-friendly hybrids from a peaceful communist nation and riding Los Santos' clean, safe public rail.
Lastly, your purchase of Grand Theft Auto V is simply immoral, as it will lead to children going crazy and shooting up Los Santos Elementary -- again.
But Don't Fear! It's not too late and YOU can make a difference!
Impotent Rage is calling on YOU, GTA Net community to help raise awareness and destroy this corporate, anti-earth, anti-people villain.
- Cancel your pre-orders before September 17th
- Instead of spending $60-$140 on the game, donate it to Sue Murry for Governor and purchase awareness bands, ribbons and bumper stickers.
- Instead of standing in line for Grand Theft Auto V, instead protest and picket your local game store and it's customers in non-violent and eco-friendly ways by throwing eggs and molotov cocktails at the crowd while defecating on the property.
- Smash up your game consoles and put them in the recycling bin so that they can be sent to the children in friendly communist nations to build more hybrids.
If you, the GTA Net community and citizens of Los Santos can unite and follow the steps above, September 17th will go down in Los Santos County history as a day of peace and social change for the better.
Impotent Rage and Mother Earth are counting on you kids!
Paid for by Sue Murry for Governor and the Sand Andreas Ad Council. Impotent Rage is a fictional children's cartoon featured on CNT for liberal propaganda purposes only and is not a real superhero. Any donations to Sue Murry will result to your personal information being sold to third parties for advertising purposes.