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Roommate masterbating

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GunWrath
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#31

Posted 09 September 2013 - 02:04 PM

You two should just swordfight. It'll up the camaraderie.. but make rules. Loser can't bate for a week, then the contest begins again. Also, loser has to take out trash.

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Danz.
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#32

Posted 09 September 2013 - 04:03 PM Edited by Danz., 09 September 2013 - 04:06 PM.

Tell your friend to pay a hooker full of STDs to have some fun with that silly f*ck. Chances are he's gonna get a illness in his genitalia and won't mess with it for a long time making the room become clean again.

 

That'd be an epic win.


Finite
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#33

Posted 09 September 2013 - 05:25 PM

Would you two just f*ck already? Jesus.


RoadRunner71
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#34

Posted 09 September 2013 - 05:30 PM

Get some glue and stick his dick to his belly.

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Irviding
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#35

Posted 09 September 2013 - 06:10 PM

Friend just texted me and said he walked into the room and the kid was lying there with his pants unzipped... i think he needs to confront him now lol


I<3GTAV
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#36

Posted 09 September 2013 - 06:29 PM

Are you sure he just doesn't have a really runny nose?


Shah Sam
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#37

Posted 09 September 2013 - 06:31 PM

Are you sure he just doesn't have a really runny nose?

 

*Runny dick. :)


Canoxa
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#38

Posted 09 September 2013 - 06:33 PM

Would you two just f*ck already? Jesus.

Will they won't they?

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RoadRunner71
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#39

Posted 09 September 2013 - 07:00 PM Edited by RoadRunner71, 09 September 2013 - 07:01 PM.

Friend just texted me and said he walked into the room and the kid was lying there with his pants unzipped... i think he needs to confront him now lol

 

Holy crap, he must be this guy...

 


Crokey
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#40

Posted 09 September 2013 - 09:41 PM

The Anti-Wank Device™

 

Tools needed:

1. Box of Tissues, the same brand as the existing tissues

2. Pepper Spray

 

Optional, dependant on box of tissues

1. Glue

 

Method:

1. Open the box of tissues from the other end of it's normal opening thus preserving the perforated opening (brand dependant)

2. Carefully take out all the tissues, taking note if they are folded into one and other

3. From a distance spray one burst of pepper spray onto the tissues, just enough to leave a trace but not enough to soak the tissue and cause the tissue to wrinkle.

4. Leave tissues to fully dry out, if there is a chance of wrinkling then cover tissues with a weight whilst drying as a makeshift iron

5. Once dry carefully fold the tissues back to how they came out of the box and reseal the box, glue may be nessesary depending on the brand

 

Action Point

1. Place box in near reach of subject for when the subject is ready to go

2. Dispose of unaffacted box to reduce options for subject

 

Result

- Subject will recieve an unpleasant reaction from contact with tissue therefore reducing the frequency of activities

 

Alternative Tools:

1. For extra 'zing' Chili spray can be used, however this usually reffered to as Last Resort Option.

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epicluca
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#41

Posted 09 September 2013 - 09:43 PM

"Could ya PLEASE stop squirting your musk all over the room?"


John Smith
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#42

Posted 09 September 2013 - 09:52 PM

Hey, stop being a puss 'n boots, and let the c*nt wank.

 

c*nt.....wank.....

c*nt wank

Wanking....c*nt...

Wank'nt....

 

 

Anyway, yeah....just be polite, and ask him if he could reduce the volume while he batters the womb ferret. 


Empty World
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#43

Posted 09 September 2013 - 10:14 PM

Your friend should make him feel a bit scared and embarrassed, like your friend should pretend that he is thinking he masturbates but he doesn't know it yet. Ones that kid thinks your friend is thinking that he masturbates he will get embarrassed and maybe stop masturbating.


ryuclan
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#44

Posted 09 September 2013 - 10:22 PM Edited by ryuclan, 09 September 2013 - 11:50 PM.

Lol all of you forget that this dude lives in the same house as him. If he turns out to be some crazy f*cker then he'll be pretty damn vulnerable sleeping in the next room.


Max
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#45

Posted 09 September 2013 - 10:34 PM

I think that one way to handle this situation could be to settle it in a wanking-proxy war. It's really a game of strategy and precision. Whenever either roomate is alone they should be masturbating as furiously and as often as possible positioning their seed, tissue and pornographic material in ever more imaginative places. Allow the stench of smegma and the detritus of jizzy tissue to fill the room. The first to break and ask to stop the covenant of the masturbatorium is the loser. 

 

In this way a heirachy, a 'pecker-order' if you will, can be established and the foundations for a healthy self-reflection regime can be agreed upon. By the sounds of things your friend's opponent has a considerable head-start but we all know the story of the tortoise and the sex pest. Good luck!

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D- Ice
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#46

Posted 09 September 2013 - 11:37 PM

I would suggest your friend try to act non-judgementally (especially since it's an embarrassing issue), and talk to his flat mate about the constant used tissues and musky smell.

Something like:

"I've noticed there's lots of tissues in our bin and a weird musky smell - is everything okay? Are you feeling well?"

 

I know it is playing dumb, but the room-mate wont suffer the indignation of being found out (though he actually has), and will hopefully act far more drastically to protect his secret.

If your friend freaks his room-mate by telling him he knows about the fapping, he might think that he now has very little to lose, and will likely not act as drastically.

 

Tell your friend not to use the "your fapping is pissing me off" approach until all else fails.

I hope him all the best of luck in dealing with his room-mate issue.


Finn 7 five 11
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#47

Posted 09 September 2013 - 11:45 PM

I think DIce has the best suggestion to be honest.
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Wug Shug
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#48

Posted 09 September 2013 - 11:57 PM

How is it now?


ExtremoMania
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#49

Posted 10 September 2013 - 12:10 AM

I would suggest your friend try to act non-judgementally (especially since it's an embarrassing issue), and talk to his flat mate about the constant used tissues and musky smell.
Something like:
"I've noticed there's lots of tissues in our bin and a weird musky smell - is everything okay? Are you feeling well?"
 
I know it is playing dumb, but the room-mate wont suffer the indignation of being found out (though he actually has), and will hopefully act far more drastically to protect his secret.
If your friend freaks his room-mate by telling him he knows about the fapping, he might think that he now has very little to lose, and will likely not act as drastically.
 
Tell your friend not to use the "your fapping is pissing me off" approach until all else fails.
I hope him all the best of luck in dealing with his room-mate issue.

I think this is one of the best suggestions I've read. Yeah, try to confront him in a dumb way instead of quickly interrogating him of his fapping issue.
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Simone L
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#50

Posted 10 September 2013 - 01:52 AM

This thread has also amused me. :') 


ViXeNoVa
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#51

Posted 10 September 2013 - 02:28 AM

Be a good roommate and buy a good supply of these products for him.

P6010011-1.jpg


E.A.B.
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#52

Posted 10 September 2013 - 03:43 AM Edited by E.A.B., 10 September 2013 - 03:47 AM.



you can't be afraid of offending people otherwise nothing would ever get done.

 

just suck it up and tell him straight: either jerk off in the shower, get a girlfriend, or stop jerking off in my room.

simple as that.

 

1-It's not only his room

2-If he masturbates frequently I doubt there will be a girl that will want to have sex that frequently,

3-even if he got a girlfriend and had sex that often it would still produce a smell and simply get rid of the tissues

4-jerking off in the shower isn't as comfy

 

What he needs to do is a get a hobby. Either start gaming or do something outside. Because who doesn't jerk off a lot when they have nothing better to do.

 

Are they both under 13? If not, they both know what's going on. We're all guys here, he's jerking off. A lot. Tell him to put some spray in the room and to frequently throw out the tissues. If they have seperate garbage bins then whatever. Tell him to get rid of the musky smell or do something about it.

 

This is one of the down sides to  dorming with others. But I never had the issue, even though I use a lot of TISSUES. HAH.

 

Mainly cause I'd go home on the weekends and was tired during the weekday.


sanpreet
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#53

Posted 10 September 2013 - 11:39 AM

suck him off


Tycek
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#54

Posted 10 September 2013 - 11:50 AM

Why not just jack each other off?  ;)


jln22
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#55

Posted 10 September 2013 - 01:01 PM Edited by jln22, 10 September 2013 - 01:08 PM.

Being a f*cking dick with your roommate won't help because every man has his needs. Masturbation is for him exactly the same good pleasuring you get from playing video games, let's say and it's definitely not going to work if you confront him. Let's say your roommate will tell you to stop playing video games all the time, you won't do it because it's in your comfort zone and you're feeling great by doing what you do.

So instead of acting like a evil bitch, tell your friend to sit down and talk calmly with his roommate. Let that guy know what's wrong in what he's doing. Tell him that masturbation is okay, but he won't get any woman if he keeps it that way. Explain him that the friendship will work if they do what they like, but without disturbing each other.

Per overall, let him know that you are disappointed with the situation and try to find a mutual solution, telling him to stop f*cking jerking right now won't help.


Captain VXR
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#56

Posted 10 September 2013 - 01:16 PM Edited by Captain VXR, 10 September 2013 - 01:19 PM.

Delete


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#57

Posted 10 September 2013 - 01:21 PM

3uiob9.jpg

Your friend's roommate? Make them get the hell out of there.


sanpreet
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#58

Posted 10 September 2013 - 01:45 PM

3uiob9.jpg

Your friend's roommate? Make them get the hell out of there.

yes its wigger winstone yeah man.


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#59

Posted 11 September 2013 - 04:31 AM

Introduce him to http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap

 

Give him rewards for going a week, a month, 3 months etc. Hopefully by the end of the year he'll be a changed man with a girl he can deposit his 'fluids' into as opposed to your rubbish bin.


Aly Zaroon
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#60

Posted 11 September 2013 - 12:24 PM

Invite his father while he is alone in the room :D his father will take care of  rest if his father is a good man he'll slam him to the door if his father is a Wrecless bitch like he is  then he'll give him a full hand job :D 





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