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Steps To Poop Like A Man

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Vormek
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#1

Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:09 PM Edited by Vormek, 06 September 2013 - 06:10 PM.

Warning! Very immature topic ahead! But dang, did I laugh after reading this, probably because I can relate to everything. Except #12 because I usually try to pee off the residue whenever I have a chance to do so.

 

1 Select reading material (can be anything except a porn mag).
2 Tell everyone along the way "Just going for a dump, okay?" Always tell girlfriend/wife, especially when she has visitors.
3 Pull pants and trousers down around the ankles, then sit down.
4 Adjust penis and testicles to hang comfortably without touching the toilet rim.
5 Open reading material and relax.
6 Whilst waiting, it is traditional to fart audibly.
7 Sigh loudly as the first one bullets out. It is quite normal to experience a cold jet of water rocket up your anus as a result of the first bomb. This is to be endured if you want to be a real man.
8 Remain sitting and reading until pins and needles set in to your legs and buttocks.
9 Rise and look at the poo. Make mental notes of any irregularities to report to friends and girlfriend orwife. eg. colour, consistency, any visible trace of peanuts etc. You must tell people about it.
10 Take long length of paper and wipe anus. You must look at the paper before throwing it into the bowl.
11 Repeat step 10 until there is no longer any evidence of sh*t on the paper.
12 Flush. If there is any residue left on the pan, under no circumstances attempt to clean it off. In due course it will come away by itself. Or when your girlfriend or wife next uses the loo.
13 Leave the seat up. Leave the reading material on the floor (you can use it again).
14 Wash your hands once.
15 Vacate the bathroom, leaving the door open. It is important to a man's self-esteem that other people smell his produce.

 

http://www.caughtatw....php?itemid=336

  • GTA-King, D- Ice, Shah Sam and 1 other like this

GTA-King
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#2

Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:15 PM

lol, good stuff! I thought I was the only one to inspect my poop for perfections and imperfections.


RoadRunner71
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#3

Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:21 PM

I rather to take my pants down, without advising, and spread the sh*t all around the living room where the wife and visitors would be, to prove who's the alpha there. And only betas use paper, real men use their hand or wait the mother nature to wipe their ass.

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Shah Sam
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#4

Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:29 PM

wow, OP, ur pussy, do it hte man-way

 

I usually put my hand in there and grab the poo-poo's. When I drag them out, I swallow them infront of my mates to show them who's the leader of the gang,


Vormek
  • Vormek

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#5

Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:34 PM Edited by Vormek, 06 September 2013 - 06:38 PM.

wow, OP, ur pussy, do it hte man-way

 

I usually put my hand in there and grab the poo-poo's. When I drag them out, I swallow them infront of my mates to show them who's the leader of the gang,

Lol haha, that's some alpha-male sh*t right there :D

 

Bonus: Why you shouldn't shave your asshair: http://www.craigslis...x/35274458.html

This right here could possibly be the funniest thing I've ever read. Or maybe it's the ganja I dunno.

 

"It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling."

 

Hahahaha :lol:


Mr. Scratch
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#6

Posted 06 September 2013 - 06:37 PM

tumblr_lyp98aYfG21r6zvo6o1_400.png

Did I just read?


TECHN9CiAN
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#7

Posted 06 September 2013 - 07:44 PM

Good thread, very informative. I feel emasculated knowing i had been doing it wrong all these years.





:sarcasm: Amusing thread, even tho i feel like i lost IQ points reading it.

theonlytobyever
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#8

Posted 06 September 2013 - 07:45 PM

Too complicated.

1. Get naked

2. Spread cheeks

3. Evacuate bowels

4. Wipe/

TECHN9CiAN
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#9

Posted 06 September 2013 - 08:36 PM

this topic reminds me of the most awkward type of toilet user in my opinion: the urinator that drops his pants to the floor just to piss in a urinal. why do people do this???


Mr. Scratch
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#10

Posted 06 September 2013 - 08:52 PM

Listen to this if you need help.

 





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