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The Remaining Hope

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Revolver1
  • Revolver1

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#1

Posted 04 September 2013 - 10:11 AM Edited by Revolver1, 07 October 2013 - 10:08 AM.

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Foreword: Hello, this is my first mission pack. I am new to designing so please no rude words if you find my mission bullsh*t or something. Instead, give me some feedbacks, both negative and positive are welcomed, and tell me how can I improve my skills. Thank you.
 

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In the year of 2020, a para-military group called themselves ''The Blue Army'' (this might sound familiar, if you are its owner, then please don't be mad) invaded and taken Los Santos, Las Venturas and San Fierro. The only place they have not touched is the countryside. These so-called ''army'' are very cruel. They kill everyone stands in their way, normal civilians, men, women and children, everyone. The remainings of the army, called themselves ''The Remainings'' followed General Stacker, to the countryside, try to recruit new soldiers silently while slowly fighting The Blue Army, while the goverment tries to contract the outside world, hoping to find some help. You are Mark, with his brother, Vance, are recently recruited. Now, you must fight alongside with your army brothers and sisters, try to win this losing war.
 
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Mark Parkinson
A brave, strong, and smart guy. Protagonist of this MP. His parents were killed by one of the Blue Army. He's just recently joined in "The Remainings" with his younger brother Vance, looking for revenge. Now he must learn how to handle a gun and to survive in the battlefield.
 
Vance Parkinson
Younger brother of Mark Parkinson. He's kinda chicken, the only reason he joined ''The Remainings'' was to follow his brother, since he had no one left. Even though with his cowardy, he's a good soldier and can work good with his brother when it comes to fighting
 
Ramirez Stacker
The last General of the SA army. Formed ''The Remainings'' group. He's an old guy, very smart and good with tactics, but he can barely handle a gun due to his age.
 
Michael Miller
Mark and Vance's team leader, and trainer. He's a good leader with good spirit, always knows how to cheer his men up when they are down. He always tries to make everything looks better even though everything looks bad. Funny guy, but very serious in the battlefield. Very cares for his men, always wants to bring them home safely.
 

Trent Tracy

''The Remainings'' CQC trainer and Michael's friend. He's a cool guy overall, but could get a little intense when it comes to fighting. Alpha Squad second-in-command. The squad's C.Q.C expert along with his brother and scout

 

Kolwalski Tracy

Also a recently recruited soldier, brother of Trent Tracy. He joined ''The Remainings'' after Trent. He was the best C.Q.C expert after Trent, so he was assigned to Alpha Squad with his brother. The squad's C.Q.C expert and scout.

 

Kevin Parkinson

Mark and Vance's dad. He's a good dad, love his sons and wife, but quite strict. He is an ex-marine but he was honorably discharged. He can handle guns pretty well

 

Lisa Parkinson

Mark and Vance's mom. Wife of Kevin. A good mom, love her sons and husband. She and Kevin has been married for 2 years, before The Blue Army invaded.

 

Johnny Warden

Recently recruited, the best engineer of the 1st Battalion, so he was assigned to Alpha Squad. He handles explosives and mechanic stuffs pretty well. The squad's engineer and demolition expert.

 

Danny Williams

Recenty recruited, the best medic of the 1st Battalion, so he was assigned to Alpha Squad. He has good stamina and strength, but he can barely handle an assault rifle. The squad's medic and ammunation carrier

 

Elizabeth Harper

Recenty recruited, the best markswoman of the 1st Battalion, so she was assigned to Alpha Squad. She has high accuracy, very effective in mid-range and long-range. The squad's markswoman

 

Paul Blake

Recently recruited, best Automatic Rifleman of the 1st Battalion, so he was assigned to Alpha Squad. He is a body-builder, looks like a giant. He prefers a SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon) than an M4. The squad's Automatic Rifleman.

 

Legends:
Green: Main characters.
Yellow: Main character related.
Blue: ''The Remainings'' member.
Red: ''The Blue Army'' members.
 


  e1H3gzn.png

Chapter 1: The new recruit

Introduction 
First training

Second training

The test

Memories (Part 1)

Memories (Part 2)

Welcome, Private Parkinson's

Chapter 2: The start of revolution

First mission

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Dutchy3010 and PatrickW - For creating DYOM

Myself - For creating the missions

This - For headers

Google - For logo

Abeer - For helping and inspiring me to make missions.

And all my players + raters.


The Odyssey
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#2

Posted 04 September 2013 - 11:16 AM

Good luck on your first MP, mate. smile.gif

Revolver1
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#3

Posted 04 September 2013 - 12:14 PM

QUOTE (thegtaman531 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 11:16)
Good luck on your first MP, mate. smile.gif

Thanks man. Hey, how do I do the characters box like in your mission pack? Can you copy my characters then make it for me please?

The Odyssey
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#4

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:57 PM

QUOTE (Revolver1 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 12:14)
QUOTE (thegtaman531 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 11:16)
Good luck on your first MP, mate. smile.gif

Thanks man. Hey, how do I do the characters box like in your mission pack? Can you copy my characters then make it for me please?

CODE
[center][tableb]
[tr]
[th]Character Name[/th]
[th]Character Description[/th]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Scott Maddison[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]The protagonist of the MP. He is smart, wise and brave, and one of the few who is aware of the governments evil plans. His plans are to bring down Operation Z.[/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Kenny Woodland[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]Scotts friend he met at a gun shop that he paid to escort him to his hideout. He is stubborn and demands attention.[/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Travis Laine[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]A man Scott spotted that was about to be killed by the government. He is a giant, but gentle man. He protects his wife at all costs. [/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Becca Laine[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]Travis' wife. She relies on her husband to protect her and can be quiet, but aggressive. [/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Jerry Barnes[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]A criminal that has forced Scott to let him stay at his hideout in order to hide from authorities. He is constantly paranoid. [/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[/center][/tableb][center]

Just copy this and replace the names and Info with your characters name and info.

Revolver1
  • Revolver1

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#5

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:47 PM

QUOTE (thegtaman531 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 13:57)
QUOTE (Revolver1 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 12:14)
QUOTE (thegtaman531 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 11:16)
Good luck on your first MP, mate. smile.gif

Thanks man. Hey, how do I do the characters box like in your mission pack? Can you copy my characters then make it for me please?

CODE
[center][tableb]
[tr]
[th]Character Name[/th]
[th]Character Description[/th]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Scott Maddison[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]The protagonist of the MP. He is smart, wise and brave, and one of the few who is aware of the governments evil plans. His plans are to bring down Operation Z.[/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Kenny Woodland[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]Scotts friend he met at a gun shop that he paid to escort him to his hideout. He is stubborn and demands attention.[/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Travis Laine[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]A man Scott spotted that was about to be killed by the government. He is a giant, but gentle man. He protects his wife at all costs. [/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Becca Laine[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]Travis' wife. She relies on her husband to protect her and can be quiet, but aggressive. [/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[tr]
[td][b]Jerry Barnes[/b]
[/td]
[td][b]A criminal that has forced Scott to let him stay at his hideout in order to hide from authorities. He is constantly paranoid. [/b]
[/td]
[/tr]
[/center][/tableb][center]

Just copy this and replace the names and Info with your characters name and info.

Thanks man, I owe you one.

Abeer
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#6

Posted 04 September 2013 - 06:01 PM

The story is looking great
I'll definitely play and all the very best

Alan Eastwood
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#7

Posted 04 September 2013 - 08:54 PM

Nice MP mate. If you wanna make some more tables here you have a program to make tables. Its fast and easy!

http://www.gtaforums...howtopic=185638

Martin_GDF
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#8

Posted 05 September 2013 - 12:14 AM

:3
I have to play this ^^
It must be amazing!

Revolver1
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#9

Posted 05 September 2013 - 08:40 AM Edited by Revolver1, 05 September 2013 - 08:55 AM.

Thanks everyone.
I know I have some bugs in my mission, I wanted to fix that too but my cutscenes and objects are close to eachother, so it's hard for me to fix them. I hope you can live with them smile.gif
I'm trying to improve my skills in designing everyday I design.
P.S: Mission two uploaded.

Revolver1
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#10

Posted 06 September 2013 - 12:33 PM

Did someone try this out? Give me some feedbacks please?


Abeer
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#11

Posted 07 September 2013 - 07:05 AM Edited by Abeer, 10 July 2016 - 05:17 PM.

Awesome man, you did a lot of work especially on objects.

 

Intro was great, the story was clear, cut scenes were ok too. The only bug I notice is character hid before it was supposed to otherwise it was a great intro


Revolver1
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#12

Posted 07 September 2013 - 07:23 AM

I don't remember a military base camp there...wait...did you created that…Wow

Awesome man, you did a lot of work specially on objects.

 

Intro was great, story was clear, cut scenes were ok too. Only bug I notice is character hid before it was supposed to otherwise it was a great intro

Yep, took me a lot of work to create that sh*t. Hell, you wouldn't believe it if I told you.

Anyway, yea, I somehow always have bugs with actors in cutscenes, im still trying to work on that sh*t. Thanks for you feedback.


Revolver1
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#13

Posted 07 September 2013 - 10:02 AM

This will be postponded for a few days, im currently working on MOTW 14. It won't be cancelled.

ETA for next mission: Monday 


danik18
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#14

Posted 07 September 2013 - 10:49 AM

I will play this once I am finished with my MP.


Revolver1
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#15

Posted 10 September 2013 - 09:11 AM

10/9/2013

Mission 3 uploaded. Link: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/27870

New characters added.


Revolver1
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#16

Posted 16 September 2013 - 10:05 AM

16/9/2013

Mission 4 uploaded. Link: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/27995


Revolver1
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#17

Posted 19 September 2013 - 08:09 AM Edited by Revolver1, 19 September 2013 - 08:09 AM.

19/9/2013

Mission 5 uploaded. Link: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/28047

Credits added.

New characters added.


Revolver1
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#18

Posted 23 September 2013 - 10:21 AM

23/9/2013

Mission 6 uploaded. Link


iTyLeR
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#19

Posted 30 September 2013 - 03:56 PM

Dude your Missions are good. FeeD ME MorE  :catspider:

 

PS:Don't go mad if you aren't getting enough Feedback Every1 gets the recognition that they Deserve :D


Revolver1
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#20

Posted 30 September 2013 - 04:10 PM

Dude your Missions are good. FeeD ME MorE  :catspider:
 
PS:Don't go mad if you aren't getting enough Feedback Every1 gets the recognition that they Deserve :D

Haha thanks man. Feels good to have a supporter. Im still working on this. New mission soon, tomorrow or day after tomorrow.

Revolver1
  • Revolver1

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#21

Posted 03 October 2013 - 03:01 PM

A bit delay on this. Been busy lately.


Revolver1
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#22

Posted 04 October 2013 - 10:04 AM Edited by Revolver1, 04 October 2013 - 10:06 AM.

04/10/2013

New characters added.

Mission 7 uploaded. Link

Chapter 1 completed, stay tuned for chapter 2. It'll have a lot of action, shooting, chases, stealth, etc. 


Lee.
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#23

Posted 04 October 2013 - 12:34 PM Edited by lee_atsugai, 04 October 2013 - 12:41 PM.

Alright, I've played chapter one and I can say that this mission pack is good, and I like where the story is going. I also loved how you arranged the base of "The Remainings" army. It's a simple one, but it looks like a real small army outpost (With those helicopters, tanks and patriots). Oh, and you did a good job in visualizing the backstory in the "Intro" mission (When the Blue Army attacks San Andreas). :^:

 

But there are some things that you can do in improving your missions in the future The first one is the wanted levels. In some missions, you forgot to turn off the wanted level (Like in the mission "Memories (Part 2)"). It's quiet annoying that when I kill the Blue Army silently, one star wanted level shows up

Spoiler
. And also in the mission "The Test", after I reach the platform, some random civilians peds are blocking my view to the soldiers behind the objects. I guessed that you didn't use the objective "No Cars/Peds" before going to the platforms.
Spoiler
. About the stealth mission, you shouldn't use cutscenes or timeout objective to tell the player what to do next. I think you should've let the player think their own way to pass the guards without alerting them. Last but not least, the writings and those actors in the cutscenes. I can spot some mistakes in the cutscenes (Sometimes, you forgot to add " : "sign after the character's name), and also the coloring of the texts (In some cutscenes, I think you forgot to add the +w+ tag after the character's name, so the whole texts become, for example, blue). Also, you sometime forgot to hide the actors after the cutscenes.

 

Rating:

Spoiler
. I expect more in the 2nd chapter. :)  So keep up and don't give up! :D :^:

 

EDIT: Forgot one more thing. In the mission "Memories" (Part 1), you could've used the "Remove Weapons" objective after the character kills the first 3 enemies (Because I obtained the M4 and use it for the rest of the mission :lol: )


Revolver1
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#24

Posted 04 October 2013 - 12:58 PM

Thanks for the feedbacks lee, appreciate 'em. Yea I made many mistakes, since this is my first mission pack. I will slowly improve on latter missions.

Again thanks for the reply. I won't let you down :)


Martin_GDF
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#25

Posted 06 October 2013 - 06:13 AM

Nice ^^

Chapter one... one of the greatest stories in DYOM, for me 


Revolver1
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#26

Posted 07 October 2013 - 10:05 AM

07/10/2013

Mission 8 uploaded. Link

Promise, next mission there WILL be more actions, shootings, etc.





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