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Goob.

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3Hunt.
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#1

Posted 10 August 2013 - 02:10 AM Edited by 3Hunt., 11 August 2013 - 01:55 AM.

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Misadventures of Goob.
Story with sentimental values and sh*t.
INTRO

***********
A cool Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill as a gust of wind entered through his cracked window. Rolling his fatass off his bed, Goob landed on his leftover bag of Culver's as the chocolate shake (atleast it looked like chocolate) barred itself on his purple tee. The shirt was badly stained enough with dry cum and carried a stench of mold mixed with a strange odor of blue cheese.
Goob screamed for help, as he always scuffles in situations having to do with his weight. Saliva flooded in his mouth, turning his yelps to gurgles. As his lungs were about to give out, a force somehow pulled him up. It wasn't anyone, it wasn't hope. It was something.

He walked out of his room, the scent went from poop molding in the toilet to crusty eggs. As he sat on his torn up couch, the echoes of ice cream truck music filled the streets of the average American neighborhood. Goob grew a big smile as he got up, sweat flowing down his face, dripping off his upper lip.
His forehead gleamed with the light as he exited his one story home. Slowly waddling as he ordered the truck to stop, a man looked at Goob from behind a tree- mysteriously. The truck halted and Goob walked to the window.

“Hello, Goob! What would you want?” the ice cream man asked.

“The usual.” Goob replied, sticking his head in the truck's order window.

As the ice cream man prepared a chocolate-vanilla, cinnamon, sprinkled, hot fudge caked, brownie swirl sundae, Goob crept his way inside the truck. The man turned towards Goob, confused.

“Uh, Goob... You are, umm.... This is my truck.” the man stuttered, handing the cone to Goob.

Goob took ten licks in less than two seconds, finishing half of the top layer. The ice cream layered his mouth, as his nose dug itself into the ice cream.
“Yeah but, I need a ride to work.” Goob said, looking only at the ice cream.

“Okay, well-” the man tried to talk but was interrupted.

The truck rolled in midair, Goob's body was spazzing around the interior, crushing the man. The car continued to spin in the air, causing Goob to vomit. Stains of ice cream, vomit, and blood was splattered through out the truck.
Once it stopped, Goob landed on the ground hard, as did everything else. The strange man from behind the tree entered the truck, walking slowly towards Goob. His face was badly scarred, battered, and overall just ugly. With a streak of facial hair above his upper lip and yellow tinted teeth, the man was wearing a Creedence Clearwater Revival shirt and a mushroom cut. He held a bag and placed it over Goob's head.

MacAshford
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#2

Posted 10 August 2013 - 02:14 AM

Real fresh...

Zugzwang
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#3

Posted 10 August 2013 - 06:28 AM

Amusing. I'd read the next part.

TonyZimmzy
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#4

Posted 10 August 2013 - 03:21 PM

"A chilly Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill"

Kinda killed it for me right away. Interested, though - I love these kinda stories.

Vanzant
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#5

Posted 10 August 2013 - 05:22 PM

I had to read as soon as I saw the picture.


3Hunt.
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#6

Posted 10 August 2013 - 06:25 PM

QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Saturday, Aug 10 2013, 15:21)
"A chilly Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill"

Kinda killed it for me right away. Interested, though - I love these kinda stories.

It's true masterpiece. Chilly is true.

Zugzwang
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#7

Posted 11 August 2013 - 09:42 AM

QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Saturday, Aug 10 2013, 15:21)
"A chilly Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill"

Kinda killed it for me right away. Interested, though - I love these kinda stories.

In fairness, I don't think a story prefaced with "Story with sentimental values and sh*t." is too concerned about sophisticated word choice.

TonyZimmzy
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#8

Posted 11 August 2013 - 03:18 PM

QUOTE (Zugzwang @ Sunday, Aug 11 2013, 09:42)
QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Saturday, Aug 10 2013, 15:21)
"A chilly Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill"

Kinda killed it for me right away. Interested, though - I love these kinda stories.

In fairness, I don't think a story prefaced with "Story with sentimental values and sh*t." is too concerned about sophisticated word choice.

Hah, yeah I know.

Reminds me of something I wrote a while ago...

Weird.

3Hunt.
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#9

Posted 11 August 2013 - 05:18 PM

QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Sunday, Aug 11 2013, 15:18)
QUOTE (Zugzwang @ Sunday, Aug 11 2013, 09:42)
QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Saturday, Aug 10 2013, 15:21)
"A chilly Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill"

Kinda killed it for me right away. Interested, though - I love these kinda stories.

In fairness, I don't think a story prefaced with "Story with sentimental values and sh*t." is too concerned about sophisticated word choice.

Hah, yeah I know.

Reminds me of something I wrote a while ago...

Weird.

Just read that, f*cking hilarious. Anyways, I've had these f*cked up stories for awhile. Like I have one about a Spanish superhero with down syndrome..... Yeah.

TonyZimmzy
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#10

Posted 11 August 2013 - 08:21 PM

QUOTE (3Hunt. @ Sunday, Aug 11 2013, 17:18)
QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Sunday, Aug 11 2013, 15:18)
QUOTE (Zugzwang @ Sunday, Aug 11 2013, 09:42)
QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Saturday, Aug 10 2013, 15:21)
"A chilly Sunday morning, Goob awoke with a sudden chill"

Kinda killed it for me right away. Interested, though - I love these kinda stories.

In fairness, I don't think a story prefaced with "Story with sentimental values and sh*t." is too concerned about sophisticated word choice.

Hah, yeah I know.

Reminds me of something I wrote a while ago...

Weird.

Just read that, f*cking hilarious. Anyways, I've had these f*cked up stories for awhile. Like I have one about a Spanish superhero with down syndrome..... Yeah.

I feel ya. As I said, I love these stories so I'll follow along. I usually write them a lot myself when I'm having a case of writer block to get the juices flowing. Mmm... juices.

3Hunt.
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#11

Posted 12 August 2013 - 12:50 AM

1 - LOVE IS FOR THE WEAK AND SKINNY


***********

Goob awoke on a chair, too small for his ass, cheeks hanging down off both sides. His vision was blurry, mainly because he can't go too long without eating. Nauseous and lightheaded, Goob started gagging, a sound similar to that of a goat getting a flute stuck up it's ass. The flute is being played in the goat's asshole, so it echoes through the body and comes out nasty.
The noise echoed through the strange warehouse, a very strange warehouse. As he started vomiting, the strange man walked up to him, wearing a 'BeeGees' shirt and a bathrobe. He held up a stick with seminal fluid dripping off it. As he smiled at Goob, he took his bathrobe off and threw it behind him. Mussing his bowl hair up and shaking his man tits, the strange man moaned in a pouf manner.
Goob was getting hard. The man walked ruttish like towards Goob, strutting and sh*t. He stood infront of Goob, lifting a leg up and laying it on Goob's shoulders. The man's crotch was under Goob's chin as he started grinding fiercely on it. The man smiled at Goob while pleasuring himself and Goob was just humming to send a vibration. Within seconds, the man was reaching climax.
Almost finishing himself off, the man pulled his leg off of Goob's shoulder and stuck his penis out. Beating it to the pulp, the man shot missiles of white fluid towards Goob's chin, screaming while his dick pumped itself to a rhythm of orgasms. The man pinched his testicles and licked the remaining cum off his fingers.

“Who are you?” Goob asked, cleaning the cum off his chin with his shirt.

“Your's.” The man replied as he flipped the bangs of his mushroom hair.

“Well I'm tied up. I can't love you.” Goob paused and looked down to his shirt, the almost dry stain of cum was shaped like a heart. “But I understand your love.”

“Goob. Look.... If I lose you...” The man was broken after Goob queried his affection. “I'll kill myself. That tree stood in between us! I had to capture you!”

The man ran behind the side of a car and leaned on the hood. His tears trickled down his face, wetting his mustache. All throughout the whole year he's been stalking Goob. He was never out during Fall or Winter, but still he stalked Goob. Snow froze him and leaves crushed him, but Goob saved him. He now had Goob in the Summer, and it was time to say he loved him.

“I have magical powers.” The man said from behind the side of the car.

Goob widened his eyes, and thought about it. A magical boyfriend! Openly gay, Goob always did want a boyfriend who was magical ever since he's watched Wizards of Waverly Place and fell in love with the guy who played the girl's brother. Not the older one, the younger one. On bored days, Goob would walk to the brothel and choose the youngest employee to sex with.
After, he'd force them to wear a moptop hairdo and skater clothes. He would then jump on them and grind furiously until he came everywhere. Although, being charged for asphyxiation death of numerous teens was not the fun part. But he suffocated the judge numerous times due to some fetish from the judge himself.
Goob ripped himself off the chair and ran towards the car, turning to the side, and grabbed the man by the clothes. Holding him up to his face, he made out with lust. Sharing a long passionate kiss, they moaned and sighed, tongues twisting and gagging each other by slipping their pink clapper in each other throats. The taste of Goob's vomit flowed into the man's mouth causing him to vomit in Goob's mouth, bits of the digested food with bits of orange and yellow mush dripping between the gap their bottom lips made.
As they pulled apart, a string of saliva and vomit constricted down creating a U-shaped drool. Looking into each other's eyes, they smiled. A piece of hair from the man's bangs fell onto his eye, as Goob adjusted it, and kissed his cheeks.

“Wanna see my powers?” The man asked, raising an eyebrow and looking down.

“What's your name?” Goob asked, biting his lip, chewing on it a little after a few seconds and bit off a chunk.

“Jesús.”

“Sexy..” Goob said.

A police siren echoed into the warehouse, following choppers and trucks and stuff. Numerous vehicles and police circled the entrance, all wearing police uniforms, SWAT armor, and other stuff. Police cars, SWAT tucks, and more stuff. A policeman was infront of the group of others, as he pointed his rifle towards Goob and Jesús.
More piggily wiggilies (lol) ran to both sides of the policeman, standing like a badass and sh*t. Just as the policeman was about to talk, gun wounds reversed themselves from behind his back to his chest as clods of flesh jetted out. The police man shook violently, his hat slipping off his hat and long hair whipping along the air.
Officers looked at the policeman falling down to the ground, slowly decreasing the rapid stroke as foam gushed out of his mouth. Unsure, an officer set two fingers on the policeman's neck, checking the pulse. As the officer stood up, the policeman shook again, yelping whilst arching his back and pumping his stomach. The policeman slammed his arms to the ground and crossed his legs, rolling back and forth.
Another gunshot cut itself into the policeman, to his skull. A wrinkly ass man walked up to where the now dead officer stood. The Captain. Holding a shotgun with smoke ascending out from the barrel, smile on his face.

“Hello.” The Captain presented himself, waving the gun, accidentally firing a bullet straight through a female officer's head. “Oops!” He said, placing his index on his lips.

“Look who it is, Captain Blaine!” Jesús said, an aggravated look grew on his face. “What do you want? I'm happy here with my boyfriend! I already blew you once!”

“You blew him?” Goob asked, frowning.

“Yes, he did! Mmmmmmm... It was sooooooo good!” Captain Blaine responded for Jesús, motioning his hands up and down his shotgun.

“Shut up, Blaine!” Jesús cried, stomping a foot and pouting.

“No! I will not! No!” Captain Blaine smiled as he said it. “I have been trying to look for you, I have! Not only did you kill my wife with your powers, we found an ice cream vendor torn up and split open inside a truck.... In the same neighborhood you've been hiding in.... And he died... The same day... You left! And that ice cream man.... Was my son...”

Captain Blaine's legs gave out, falling on his knees and crying. Goob looked at Jesús with disbelief, as he let go of his hand.

“I thought I loved you....” Goob murmured, walking away from Jesús towards Captain Blaine. “I'm sorry, dude.”

Captain Blaine stood up quick and grabbed Goob from his neck, licking his face and pinching his nipples. Goob shrieked and shouted and wiggling his arms. Captain Blaine laughed as he looked towards Jesús.

“He's mine now!” Captain Blaine laughed, wrapping a leg around Goob.

“NOOOOOOO!” Jesús screamed, running towards the two.

Thousands and a lot of bullets whizzed towards Jesús, all impacting on him. Jesús died on the spot, blood flowing underneath him. Goob cried, tears falling on Captain Blaine's hand, gesturing his hands towards his tongue- licking the tear.

“Let's take him.” Captain Blaine ordered the officers as they walked out of the warehouse.

The Warehouse District, docks and ships all over the dirty, scurvy water. Goob walked along the group of police, helicopters shining spotlights on him. Pulled by an arm, Goob dragged himself as Captain Blaine struggled pulling him up.

“Get up, fatass! I wanna f*ck you!” Captain Blaine shouted, pulling him up with no luck.

Goob, was barely lifted, facing the ground revealing his crack from between his shirt and shorts.

“No!” Goob simply declined, still facing the ground.

As Captain Blaine was about to switch hands, Goob rolled away, as officers chased him. Too fast, Goob hurled and left a trail of vomit along the ground, causing officers to slip. As the dock was about to end, Goob tried stopping, pausing at the right moment as he laid on the edge. Getting up too dizzy, Goob swirled around and fell off.
Falling a good 4 feet, Goob landed on a boat luckily docked. As his fatass impacted on the engine, the boat rode away, shrinking as Captain Blaine looked at the silhouette.

“Aw man... I really wanted to f*ck him...”


TA B CONTINEWD

Ziggy455
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#12

Posted 25 August 2013 - 02:34 PM

Can just imagine the police captain throwing his hat down and saying that final line. Funny sh*t.

I wish for this to continue. DO NOT FAYL MUH.





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