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na89340qv0n34b09q340
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#1

Posted 07 July 2013 - 05:22 PM Edited by na89340qv0n34b09q340, 10 December 2014 - 11:37 AM.

I'm currently eating some cream of mushroom soup and would like to learn a few things.

 

Teach me something.


universetwisters
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#2

Posted 07 July 2013 - 05:23 PM

QUOTE
your favorite nursery rhyme


"Ring around the rosy" was about the black plague, and was referencing all the dudes who kept dropping dead.

What a bummer.

GTA_stu
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#3

Posted 07 July 2013 - 05:41 PM

I'm gonna teach everyone about milking things. Basically, you can milk anything with nipples mkay. You just grab it good and firm, and start sort of pulling at it and then it'll squirt out. You can either drink it straight from the teet, or put it in a bucket or some other kind of container. Then when someone asks you "Got milk?" You can say yes, you do indeed got milk. Now, some people like to pasturise milk before they drink it, but in all honesty as long as it isn't yellow or green then it's perfectly fine to drink 100% of the time.

There's also a particular way that you have to milk something in order to get butter. You have to go anticlockwise, whereas for milk you go clockwise. Pretty much everyone knows that already, but I'm just going really basic for those who might not have nippled animals in their country. I recommend safety goggles for the first few milking attempts, just in case a stray squirt goes in your eye. If you get milk in your eye, you will go blind. Safety first people, safety first.

A few little things you might want to keep in mind, just because they're nice to know:

-Milking originated in the early 14th century in Europe, when thousands of widowed husbands needed a way to satisfy their base desires after their wives were wiped out by the plague. That's where we get the term "Plague fondling", which as I'm sure most people know, is another term for milking.

-You can get 500 gallons of milk a day from a cow, 100 from a goat, 250 from a camel, and a pint from a rat. If you don't get that amount, just milk harder and harder and you will eventually. It doesn't hurt the animals if you over milk them, in fact they actually enjoy it

-If you take up milking, you are entitled by law to take milk for free from shops and milk delivery carts/floats. Enjoy all that free milk!

Ok I'm sure you're all eager to get out there and start pulling some mammaries. Happy milking guys!

trip
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#4

Posted 07 July 2013 - 05:45 PM

QUOTE (universetwisters @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 13:23)
QUOTE
your favorite nursery rhyme


"Ring around the rosy" was about the black plague, and was referencing all the dudes who kept dropping dead.

What a bummer.

To stay in that same vein. "Raining cats and dogs" also comes from the same black plague time.
People would just discard their dead pets out the windows and the dead animals would get stuck in the rain gutters. When there as a very heavy rain it would force the dead animals out of the gutters and onto the streets and people below.

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#5

Posted 07 July 2013 - 05:46 PM

For some good technology educational vids, have a gander at this Youtube channel.

One of my personal favourites, how a microwave works:

GTA_stu
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#6

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:01 PM

QUOTE (trip @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 17:45)
QUOTE (universetwisters @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 13:23)
QUOTE
your favorite nursery rhyme
"Ring around the rosy" was about the black plague, and was referencing all the dudes who kept dropping dead.

To stay in that same vein. "Raining cats and dogs" also comes from the same black plague time.

Pretty much every saying goes back to the plague. Including unsurprisingly "plague fondling".


cbiscuit93
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#7

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:06 PM

QUOTE (GTA_stu @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 17:41)
I'm gonna teach everyone about milking things. Basically, you can milk anything with nipples mkay. You just grab it good and firm, and start sort of pulling at it and then it'll squirt out. You can either drink it straight from the teet, or put it in a bucket or some other kind of container. Then when someone asks you "Got milk?" You can say yes, you do indeed got milk. Now, some people like to pasturise milk before they drink it, but in all honesty as long as it isn't yellow or green then it's perfectly fine to drink 100% of the time.

There's also a particular way that you have to milk something in order to get butter. You have to go anticlockwise, whereas for milk you go clockwise. Pretty much everyone knows that already, but I'm just going really basic for those who might not have nippled animals in their country. I recommend safety goggles for the first few milking attempts, just in case a stray squirt goes in your eye. If you get milk in your eye, you will go blind. Safety first people, safety first.

A few little things you might want to keep in mind, just because they're nice to know:

-Milking originated in the early 14th century in Europe, when thousands of widowed husbands needed a way to satisfy their base desires after their wives were wiped out by the plague. That's where we get the term "Plague fondling", which as I'm sure most people know, is another term for milking.

-You can get 500 gallons of milk a day from a cow, 100 from a goat, 250 from a camel, and a pint from a rat. If you don't get that amount, just milk harder and harder and you will eventually. It doesn't hurt the animals if you over milk them, in fact they actually enjoy it

-If you take up milking, you are entitled by law to take milk for free from shops and milk delivery carts/floats. Enjoy all that free milk!

Ok I'm sure you're all eager to get out there and start pulling some mammaries. Happy milking guys!

Thanks Dwight Schrute.

MasterO
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#8

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:18 PM

The oldest known "computer" dates back to ~100 BC.

GTA-King
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#9

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:18 PM

QUOTE (GTA_stu @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 17:41)
Basically, you can milk anything with nipples mkay.



My contribution: Out of peanut butter? Got crackers? Chew a few crackers, then spit it out onto some bread. Spread it out a bit, then apply the other piece of bread. Voilą... you now have a custom peanut butter sandwich.

:]

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#10

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:20 PM

That just sounds gross to me. It'd be like chewing up somebody else's already chewed up crackers. All it takes is a little bit of sick imagination.

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#11

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:22 PM

QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 18:20)
That just sounds gross to me. It'd be like chewing up somebody else's already chewed up crackers. All it takes is a little bit of sick imagination.

Desperate times, yo.

wwinterj
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#12

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:47 PM Edited by wwinterj, 07 July 2013 - 06:56 PM.

QUOTE (zoo3891 @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 18:22)
your favorite nursery rhyme.

Baa, baa, bla...rainbow sheep, Have you any wool. moto_whistle.gif
Don't want to come across as been racist. dozingoff.gif
According to some it's a complaint against Medieval English taxes on wool where as to others it is about the slave trade. Interesting how much of a deep meaning nursery rhymes can have.

somedude224
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#13

Posted 07 July 2013 - 06:58 PM

QUOTE (universetwisters @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 17:23)
QUOTE
your favorite nursery rhyme


"Ring around the rosy" was about the black plague, and was referencing all the dudes who kept dropping dead.

What a bummer.

Jesus christ, dude. confused.gif That's screwed up.

GTA_stu
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#14

Posted 07 July 2013 - 07:01 PM

Humpty Dumpty was created by liberals who wanted to influence kids about free range eggs.

Let's face it, nursery rhymes are nothing but indoctrination tools and propoganda.

lil weasel
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#15

Posted 07 July 2013 - 07:18 PM Edited by lil weasel, 07 July 2013 - 07:33 PM.

QUOTE (GTA_stu @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 17:41)
[...] I'm gonna teach everyone about milking things. A few little things you might want to keep in mind, just because they're nice to know:
[...]-You can get 500 gallons of milk a day from a cow ,  [...] Happy milking guys!
Holstein cattle are the most prominent of the seven major dairy breeds in the United States, easily recognizable by their distinctive black and white markings. Cows of Holstein descent make up over 90% of the cows on U.S. dairy farms.
With a standard lactation lasting 305 days, that comes out to 75 pounds, or almost 9 gallons of milk per cow per day .



source

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#16

Posted 07 July 2013 - 07:19 PM

QUOTE (GTA_stu @ Sunday, Jul 7 2013, 19:01)
Humpty Dumpty was created by liberals who wanted to influence kids about free range eggs.

Let's face it, nursery rhymes are nothing but indoctrination tools and propoganda.

Here's something for ya, humpty-dumpty was never said to be an egg in the nursery rhyme.

They could just be an unlucky person, dog or wildebeest.

@weasel it's either mine or your sarcasm/joke detector that isn't working.

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#17

Posted 07 July 2013 - 08:42 PM

The set of rational numbers is "smaller" than the set of irrational numbers.

So there are "less" numbers like 1, 2, 2/3, and so on, than numbers like sqrt(2), pi and e (numbers which cannot be expressed as the quotient of two comprime integers).




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