Dear young me
This is me, you from 2013. And, no this ain't another creepy letter from aunt rachel, so don't be running like no crazy, and hiding under your bed, a'ight? Remember Tiffany the lil' dog which you found lying next to the street when you were 7? Just dump that bastard somewhere where he can never make it back to your house. Or just f*ckin seal her ass already. I mean jeez, she's been acting all weird lately. This past week I heard her screaming like batsh*t crazy from my room, and I was like, "OH YEAH, TIFFANY HAS FINALLY WHELPED A PUPPY!". And when I rushed to my room, I was delighted to see the offspring perched on my bed. But guess what? it didn't have any eyes and it had no tail either. It was not even a puppy in the first place but.. it was her massive poo! Jesus christ, she had just sh*tted a f*ckin' sand castle! I mean seriously, why did she have to sh*t on my bed? God knows how I spent the whole night, sleeping with flies. And she annoyed me even more yesterday. I was there in my room doing my regular sit-ups and after taking 20-30, I was panting with my mouth open, and she came running inside, and pee'd in my mouth, and ran away even before I could react. Why the hell did she do that? Ofcourse, my long-time-unwashed teeth might make my mouth look like a sh*t hole, but how could she not notice my eyes, mouth etc? Just choke her to death if you don't want these to happen to you too.
Sincerely, future me.
Edited by rudy., 07 May 2013 - 11:28 AM.