|QUOTE (Eminence @ Saturday, Apr 13 2013, 19:11)|
| Thing is, given that people can barely sustain writing a single short story in the space of a month... yeah, it's probably a non-starter. |
Really, the only issue with this would be getting everyone to get the book. We could use some public sites like this
, or this
, or this
, or this
but someone would need to organize the group. Hell, I'd do it, especially if I could garner some people to join the site's IRC server. Real time chat is great for this stuff, and generally more fun than just responding in a topic. If we did this though, I'd like to bring in anyone we could from the general sections. It'd be a good way to bring people into the section, but that's been said thousands of times before when discussing these things.
|QUOTE (GTA-King @ Saturday, Apr 13 2013, 19:11)|
Ok. Here's the opening paragraph to my story:
| This is the story of a seemingly innocent little boy who grows into a ferocious, conscienceless, ugly monster that destroys and devours everything good and pure that crosses his path. From tender childhood friendships to sweet innocent romances, nothing is immune to the monster's dark spell and insidious nature. |
Would like any kind of feedback. Especially where you guys would like to see the characters go.
Yeah, OK, lot of criticism from me just from this. First off, don't share your work until the draft is finished. It sets something off in your head that says "hey, it's good enough to be done if I'm already talking about it" and generally makes going back to your unedited draft much harder. That's my preface to this specifically, but it applies to a lot
of people in this section. Admittedly, I have done it too. That's why I know it does that.
Next thing, the actual passage reads a bit fuzzy. I don't know your narrating style, but generally breaking the fourth wall requires some balls to pull off correctly. Also, throwing in a lot of adjectives works in some cases, but the way you set up the first sentence with "seemingly" throws all of it off and makes it read weird. The word "immune" also pulls me out of the reading. Try reading your sentences out loud when you're editing them, it's a lot easier to check for pacing issues within your exposition when you do that.
| and I'm having a bit of trouble making the sociopath (who is 1 of 2 protagonists... the other being a psychopath) seem charming. I want the reader to actually feel like they are inside his head, & kinda root for him. I want the same thing for my psychopath protagonist, but I haven't really developed him yet though. |
All right, sociopathy
is a useless term nowadays. Psychopath too, but basically both terms are exemplified by the same traits: a person characterized by reduced fear, a lack of empathy, coldheartedness, egocentricity, superficial charm, manipulativeness, irresponsibility, impulsivity, criminality, antisocial behavior, a lack of remorse, and a parasitic lifestyle. As a diagnostic category it is outdated, having been replaced by Antisocial personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. So you should stop using the two as though they're functionally different.
Making someone root for a protagonist is easy, at least I've found it easy to root for them. Patrick Bateman is someone I can identify with because through the course of American Psycho we realize he is essentially powerless. He spends his life dehumanizing others and torturing people to feel some sense of emotion, but in reality he is a non-entity, a void. He is empty and he hates himself for it, which is a root for narcissism and a lot of tragic hero stories, to begin with. That's my take on it, anyhow.
If you want a relatable protagonist, then show that character going through conflict, like any story would. The audience will inevitably love or hate him based on their own presumptions, so biding your work on the idea that the audience will love him is not a good idea. Write the character as you want, and the writing will speak for itself.
Anyway, another user on this forum gave me some great advice a few years ago. He basically told me that ideas are much, much less important than the actual writing. Don't put so much emphasis on your ideas, they will betray you if you rely on them so heavily to keep the story going.