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The Writers' Room

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TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

    The Bearded Child

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#301

Posted 06 May 2013 - 10:44 AM

QUOTE (orbitalraindrops @ Monday, May 6 2013, 09:50)
I wanna know more about the anon caller. You got a lot of potential where you could take that yo.

It may surface in another story at some point, but sometimes the not knowing is better all in all. I don't even know myself. I'd had the final few scenes played out involving him and Evan, but nothing more.

I'm two chapters in so far and I'll probably write some more later tonight. I'd say mid-late May for its release. sleepy.gif

VProductions
  • VProductions

    Mack Pimp

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#302

Posted 06 May 2013 - 11:32 AM

^ dis gon b gud tounge.gif

Can't wait (y)

The Pizza Delivery Guy
  • The Pizza Delivery Guy

    Just A Stupid Kid.

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#303

Posted 07 May 2013 - 02:19 AM Edited by The Pizza Delivery Guy, 08 May 2013 - 03:40 AM.

Alright. If VProductions says so, here are my summaries IN DEPTH REVIEWS for my crappy movies.

Movie 1 takes place in 2009. Most of it in San Francisco. A war breaks out between cartoons rated for Adults vs. cartoons rated for Kids. Lead roles are: Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Stewie Griffin, Elmo from Sesame Street, you get the idea. I counted one day and found out I wrote over 500 expletives in the first movie. The story I think is really neat. The main character (Winnie the Pooh) starts out as a fighter pilot for the Kid's Show Army when he is accused for the murder of an innocent, kicking him out of the army. He then befriends the secret agent that the government sent to keep an eye on Pooh. The agent over the course of the movie gives Pooh inside info on what's happening in the war.

During one of the early battles, there's a part where a traitor comes out. The traitors were shows that were rated the opposite of the enemy joined the enemy. The first one was the talking Moose from the old Noggin channel (Now Nick Jr.) Well, he goes to the Adult show's headquarters and gives Stewie Griffin, the leader of the Adult show army, a briefcase containing a detonator switch. This remote control detonator is the centerpiece of the entire movie series. It turns out the briefcase was empty and Moose that went in there was just a robot. The real Moose and the Bird from Noggin were escaping with the real remote.

Here, Stewie sends Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny from South Park after Moose. About 2 pages of the South Park kids yelling at each other until Moose crashes into a sign. After this both the armies go out in search of the detonator remote. A joke I play through the script is that Dora the Explorer, leader of the Kid's show army, wants to retain the "Family Friendly" look of kid's shows. So whenever she hears one of her troops swearing she will yell at them. She'll say something like: "Stop saying f*ck." Hilariously hypocritical.

The Kid's show army doesn't know why the Adult's show army is there. So when the Adult's show army finds the detonator remote and fall back, the Kid's show army has no idea why and doesn't chase them. So they all just go home. At home, Pooh meets the secret agent. The agent cuts a deal with Pooh. If he doesn't contact his best friend Piglet over the course of 12 months the agent will not arrest him. Pooh refuses at first, but the only other choice is 99 years in prison, so he makes a run for it in his 1970 Chevelle (Another thing that sticks throughout the series.)

Only after running does Pooh realize this stupid mistake. He calls Rabbit (Still from the Pooh show) and yells at him for reading ahead in the script. So now Pooh stops running, and his punishment is a 36 month extending of the original 12 month ban. After that Pooh goes to Rabbit and the two go to Long Beach. They see a man in the distance. Turns out it is Michael Myers. So they run away from him and get back to Pooh's car. It doesn't start of course, and they run away some more.

They go to a warehouse. Inside is the Moose. They spend all the time yelling at Moose because he is supposed to be dead, but they turn to see Myers in the doorway. Just in time Peter Pan swoops in to save the day. He then gets shot by Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. Kronk then is burnt to ashes by Hercules. He is then sliced in half by Cruella DeVille. Then the Power Puff Girls kill Cruella DeVille. I assume I was really tired when writing this part. Pooh, Rabbit, and the Moose leave the warehouse.

The next scene is incredibly pointless when I write about what I learned in school that day. The South Park kids went to a Colorado coal mine of some sort and Kenny gets killed by a drag line. Dora sends in Pooh's fighter squadron consisting of Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Micky Mouse, and Little Bear. Pooh isn't there of course because...

He, Rabbit, and Moose are hiding behind a hanger of some sort while the opening for Vigilante 8E plays. They observe the scene and when it concludes are spotted by the Vigilantes. They are interrogated by the Vigilantes. Pooh states that he's the 3rd highest ranked fighter pilot in the Kid's show army, and is reacted by Convoy from the Vigilantes by a stereotypical old man response. It's a joke played in the script that Convoy is a complete moron and everyone has just gotten used to it.

Pooh explains how he didn't kill the person but Moose just goes crazy and tries to kill Pooh. Moose gets killed for real this time and the Vigilantes join forces with Pooh and Rabbit.

Now they are driving outside of San Diego explaining what happened between the two scenes. After a promotion for Easy Mac, Chassey Blue from the Vigilantes explains how they found the Bird dressed up as a crow. It would have been difficult to spot, had it not been playing a banjo. I don't get it anymore than you do. The blue-crow-bird thing explains to Pooh when he and Rabbit find the Vigilantes that Moose wanted to take over the world after the Kid's show armies blew the sh*t out of each other and would not be able to defend from an attack from his own force. If anyone ever watched Noggin, they would know that the bird doesn't actually talk, and just blinds. So all the characters just repeat in English what the bird Blinked.

Off they are onto adventure again, and the next scene starts with a sign saying Las Vegas 35 miles away. All at once Adult's show soldiers appear. They all hide and Pooh notices a very conveniently placed fighter jet nearby. He tells the others to search from the ground in the cars. He takes the jet and starts fighting from the skies and this song plays. Soon enough the rest of Pooh's squadron appear after the battle and they fly off somewhere. I don't explain where in the notebook I wrote it in.

Next they show Stewie yelling at the South Park kids. Little later Chassey is there and starts to interrogate Kyle. Then she calls Cartman fat and then an amazing compilation of curse words are spat and Chassey gets shot.

Now Pooh is back with Rabbit traveling, and they are all the way in New York City. Quite the quick trip. 5 lines later they are in the center of yet another battle. These armies aren't messing around. One of the armies attack the empire state building causing it to collapse. He curses the Adult's shows, ignorant to the idea that the Kid's shows may have done it. It's never explained. Next over every radio, an alien transmission is picked up. Then Coyotes, the enemy of the Vigilantes, begin to attack the team. Rabbit asks if it is too late to back out of the team, and Pooh explains in grim detail how to get out of the group.

It would cut next to a hidden base with Stewie Griffin again. He is now commanding an army of Barbie Dolls. The Barbie Dolls shoot directly forward for some reason, killing most of them. That's about it for that section.

Now it shows the aliens landing. They come in peaceth. The aliens talk like they're 15th century poems. The aliens explain they come to earth to make friends with humans, eat cheesecake, and meet Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter is conveniently in New York at this time and greets the aliens. The aliens bow before him and explain how he is basically their God. Then out of nowhere the alien gets shot and the battle is back on again.

Stewie eventually retreats his troops. After the battle, Pooh returns to his home. Rabbit is nowhere in sight. He gets out of his car and is immediately confronted by the secret agent. Pooh is afraid at first, but the agent says he has good news. Apparently information had surfaced that Moose was Jigsaw from the Saw movies. The bird was paying for everything Moose did, and the parents of Jigsaw's victims demanded $1 million dollars for their losses. Well, apparently, Moose was not directly the killer, as he rounded up the Vigilantes to actually find and capture the victims. Pooh complains to the agent that he brings a plot twist to the story every 27 seconds and then drops the subject entirely. Seriously. He asks the agent if he wants to go to the Super Bowl instead.

They do go to the Super Bowl in a literally impossible match up of the Chargers Vs. Dolphins. After the Chargers intercept for a touchdown, the half time show begins with very-unlikely-at-this-point-in-pop-culture AC/DC. Everyone is just hanging out having a fun time when the game is attacked by the Adult's shows. Everyone panics and Pooh's squadron rush to get their jets. Right away Pooh is called. It's the agent. He explains that it really wasn't the Vigilantes that were Moose's cohorts. Just goes to show how good this agent is at his job. He only bases this on the fact that Adult's shows had stolen Chassey's car.

Pooh and his squad return to find Stewie on the field. Dora yells for Pooh to attack Stewie. Amazingly, Micky Mouse was able to get his plane in the air, but is hopelessly drunk. Pooh tells Little Bear to guide Micky to a landing. But as soon as this happens, Stewie hacks into Pooh squadron's radio and tells them to "catch him if they can." The Adult's shows fly away and the Pooh squadron chase after them. Very quickly they make it to the shores of Japan. The Vigilantes are already there fighting the coyotes. The Vigilantes find the South Park kids and interrogate them. They say that Stewie is in the plane above them and the Vigilantes use their hover pods to get up to the plane. The plane crashes into that pointy tower in Tokyo. Each side blames the other and Pooh's squadron return to SF in shame.

We're back at Pooh's house. Pooh is reaching for his phone when it rings. It's the agent, and he's being chased by Stewie's men. The agent can only spit out "Get out of San Francisco" before he is killed by Stewie's men. Stewie picks up the phone and tells Pooh that he has planted a bomb underneath San Francisco and pooh only has 5 minutes to get out. He gets Rabbit who had been in the shower (in case you were dying to know where Rabbit was) and they take Pooh's car. Pooh travels well over the speed limit and gets chased by police. When the bomb goes off, Pooh is far enough out to get shockwaved, but no damage. The police cars explode. Pooh shouts "Holy sh*t" when he speeds past a cop station. The cops lay out exposition before the scene blackens.

There's a random battle going on in Dallas, Texas. Pooh tells Rabbit to take the Bird to a safe place. He battles for a while. After winning, Pooh only sighs.

The next scene is something I had in my head over 3 years ago and never put on paper. I'll try my best to remember. this song plays. There is no other sounds. Pooh is driving down a desolate forest road. He is having violent flashbacks of the war. Around 30 seconds into the song he comes upon a police roadblock. He steps out of his vehicle, puts his hands up, and is shot and taken down. He shakes himself out of a vision to show he's still driving. At around 1:15 of the song he stops outside of a bar. He goes in and talks to the waitress as the song ends. The bartender notices that Pooh looks gloomy and Pooh explains his role in this movie very well in one sentence: "I've gone through a whole lot of sh*t this week." The bartender gives Pooh a motivational speech and Pooh runs out of the bar.

Pooh is now at Rabbit's house in Los Angeles. John Torque of the Vigilantes calls Pooh to give the plot another random twist. Torque says he found out the original Adult's shows leader did not actually declare the war, but he was shot by Stewie and he was put in charge as a replacement. Torque also discovered that the Adult's found the remote detonator back in that earlier battle, finally ending the dramatic irony that even I forgot about at this point. Torque can't say anymore, because Pooh has to go and fight the big battle. The Adult's shows have sent their entire army, Air Force, Guard, and everything in between to Kid's Shows held Fort Knox.

The scene begins with Pooh's squadron flying out to Fort Knox. They talk to each other saying stuff like how the war has made them better pilots and friends and how they love each other. Just like every other opening to tragic scene in film history. I fill this scene by saying "Battle for 4 minutes."

After that Pooh says he is out of ammo, but sees from far away an approaching GMA (Green Mortar Anti-Ground) bomb. I know there's a joke in there somewhere but I can't remember. Apparently the only way to stop it without hurting anyone on the ground is for someone to fly out and stop it themselves. It is just like the latest Dark Knight movie except 3 years early. They send Little Bear. I did this because Little Bear barely did anything at all and it wouldn't seem like such a loss if anyone else went, but that is what took away any of the tragic feeling because it wasn't a character the audience would have connected to. So to me now it just seems like a lame attempt to recreate the one mission in Ace Combat 5Homecoming with a death

So he's dead now and everyone in the movie is sad except Stewie who is amazed he took down one of those 4 unbeatable pilots. Ace Combat 5. So there is sad piano music when suddenly the screen would darken. It would now show Dora the Explorer and Homer Simpson, the true leader of the Adult's shows army, making amends and ending the war. Everyone just stops fighting like that to listen in to the broadcast. When it's over they all are suddenly the best of friends, disregarding the fact they were fighting to the last man 30 seconds before.

Stewie yells at his assistant Elmo, who apparently turned over the power of the Adult's shows army back to Homer. Throughout the movie Elmo was very annoying to Stewie and most people watching would probably be very happy to see that Stewie finally kills Elmo here. With the war over, you'd think the movie would be over right? The best is still to come.

The next scene shows Pooh once again picking up a phone. Only the 5th scene to start like this. Remember how he wasn't supposed to interact with Piglet for 36 months? I don't blame you if you don't. Piglet somehow does remember, and protests to it. But Pooh says he couldn't help himself. 2 lines into the conversation, the door in Rabbit's house opens. You think the government was listening into Pooh's phone line? Nope. Pooh is forced off the phone and STEWIE'S voices comes on. Stewie says "This asshole has halted me for the last time." Piglet realizes he has to save Pooh's ass "again." I think I was referencing Piglet's Big Movie here, but I can't find the scene in my mind right now.

Pooh is drug off to his car in the garage. He finds that Stewie has already found Rabbit and The Bird. Remember the bird? Why he went after them and not Pooh's squadron, the ones who actually foiled Stewie's plans, I really can't remember. I guess it's just to get sequels to work out. He tells them to shut up, because he holds the key to their (and his) fate: The remote detonator.

The remainder of the film is practically identical to the ending of The Devil's Rejects, my favorite move of all time. I'm saying this once, so if you want to see the movie without spoilers, stop reading.

Pooh, Rabbit, and the Bird are taken to Piglet's house. Pooh says that it is Piglet's house because you'd have no idea otherwise. They are taken inside and are strapped to chairs. Stewie brings up important battles in the war. He finds some sort of torture to accommodate the part the character played in that battle. The 3 main characters are brutally tortured for a long time until Stewie let's Pooh go. Pooh runs out of Piglet's house as Stewie covers Piglet's house in gas and lights a match. He sets the house on fire and goes out to chase after Pooh with an axe. Pooh hides in Piglet's tool shed when he finds Dora in there.

I said "what" when I read that. Now that is taking "stalker" to a whole new level. Dora guides Pooh back to Pooh's car, but gets axed by Stewie. Pooh runs off again, but Stewie shoots Pooh's leg and Pooh falls. Stewie climbs onto Pooh and beats him for all the things he had done in the war. Stewie then begins to choke Pooh. The view goes cinematic, the music is incredibly dramatic, and heartbeats are heard. When all hope seems lost, who else but PIGLET appears behind Stewie, lifts him off of Pooh, and then snaps his neck, finally killing him.

Now this songplays as Piglet comforts Pooh, who tells him to go into the house and get Rabbit and the bird. Piglet runs in and gets them out. Rabbit and the bird rush out to embrace Pooh in a tear wrenching reunion with the house burning in the background, that may or may not get a reaction from the crowd this time. Pooh thanks Piglet for everything that he has done, which was nothing before a minute ago.

Battered and bruised, all of them climb into Pooh's car. Before Pooh leaves he pulls alongside Piglet, asking him if he's sure about leaving. Because remember, the government was supposed to be listening to Pooh. Piglet nods and Pooh says "We'll come back for you." Piglet sees them off, and he walks into his burning home. As Pooh drives away, the house explodes in the background.

If you've seen the Devil's Rejects, you'd know the Free Bird scene. If you haven't, watch the movie first. The Free Bird scene will ruin the entire movie for you if you don't. This scene play nearly identical to the one in The Devil's Rejects, music and all, except with flashbacks from the war, like earlier in the movie. Eventually Pooh comes upon a police roadblock, like in his vision. I guess the government was listening after all. Pooh looks back to Rabbit and the bird. He thinks about all he had done in the movie, and wasn't going to stop for the government. He finds some guns. He takes a desert eagle, rabbit gets a shotgun, and the bird gets an M-4. They are about to make their epic final stand when a train comes out of nowhere, hitting the car and killing all 3 instantly. That's where the movie ends.


Whew! That was quite the long summarization. Like I said at the start, I really like this movie's plot, but my 12 year old mind butchered it. I would like to rewrite it with original characters and better twists. I really want to, but I don't think I'd do it the right way. There are 3 more movies to summarize after this one. This was 65 college ruled notebook pages long. It was great to revisit this after so long and it was fun to rewrite. I will definitely do the other movies. Well, what do you guys think?

TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

    The Bearded Child

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#304

Posted 07 May 2013 - 09:59 AM

QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Tuesday, May 7 2013, 02:19)
Everything...

What the fuaaa...

You basically just wrote the entire story.

Vercetti21
  • Vercetti21

    V21

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#305

Posted 07 May 2013 - 01:14 PM

Good ol' Writer's Discussion.

I'll be dropping in over the summer quite a bit - hopefully with some new writing in the works. I'm just too damn apathetic to write anything of real substance right now, but I'm pretty sure it's just a (2 yr) phase.

Shameless admission that GTA V is bringing me back..

VProductions
  • VProductions

    Mack Pimp

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#306

Posted 07 May 2013 - 02:51 PM Edited by Eminence, 07 May 2013 - 04:02 PM.

QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Tuesday, May 7 2013, 03:19)
[snip]

Dafuq, I read shorter novels than your description. Anyway, doing it with your own characters is a great idea, you might have the next block buster movie. (y)

orbitalraindrops
  • orbitalraindrops

    Homie

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#307

Posted 07 May 2013 - 05:02 PM

Pizza delivery guy. You should post that sh*t in the Official Forum Stoners. They'll fap to that sh*t. Proper high timez. It was kinda interesting but I stopped reading after the fourth line or so. That sh*t is too heavy.

VProductions
  • VProductions

    Mack Pimp

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#308

Posted 07 May 2013 - 07:46 PM

QUOTE (orbitalraindrops @ Tuesday, May 7 2013, 18:02)
Pizza delivery guy. You should post that sh*t in the Official Forum Stoners. They'll fap to that sh*t. Proper high timez. It was kinda interesting but I stopped reading after the fourth line or so. That sh*t is too heavy.

It needs more conspiracy to go there lol

The Pizza Delivery Guy
  • The Pizza Delivery Guy

    Just A Stupid Kid.

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#309

Posted 08 May 2013 - 04:05 AM Edited by The Pizza Delivery Guy, 09 May 2013 - 04:17 AM.

Yeah, that was really expected reactions. I had to work today, I really wish I had a chance to start this early. But whatever here's my IN DEPTH REVIEW for my second crappy movie:

At the beginning the camera would show an ocean. Then a pirate ship would appear. On board are a bunch of cartoon characters, and what would ya know it? Pooh is the captain. That's right. Pooh is alive again, yes. I'll explain it in a moment. So they're just hanging out in the ocean when quickly they see land. On the land is a WWE Stadium. Yep. On top is wrestler Sheamus. He makes a terrible joke I made about Ireland when Pooh realizes he can't stop his ship. The ship crashes into the stadium, and since they are there already, Pooh just decides to stay for the show.

After the show, Pooh tells his first mate Piglet he is turning over captain status over to him. Why? Pooh is going to become a WWE wrestler. Even though Piglet protests, Pooh just walks back into the stadium.

So Pooh goes to Vincent McMahon's office. A joke in the script is that Mr. McMahon hates it when people are in their office when they aren't supposed to be. Pooh says that he wants to be in the WWE and McMahon laughs in his face. Pooh explains who he is: The guy that led a squadron of fighter jets to victory in the latest war. McMahon asks if it's the war between cartoons that had an enrollment poster in every department store. Pooh said he quit the army after nearly getting 2 of his friends killed.

He takes out a flip cam and it shows the final moment of the previous movie. Instead of getting hit by the train, they all jumped out of the car at the very last second. He then became a pirate. He has no idea why and he doesn't like it. Great choice of profession then. After such an emotional conversation McMahon decides maybe he can get Pooh into the WWE, as long as he respect's McMahon's authority and defeats big stars. Pooh doesn't sound thrilled at all and when he tries to leave McMahon's office, he is blocked by Sheamus. Sheamus is angry that Pooh has hit him with his ship. Sheamus was the one that was angry to begin with and when he leaves, Pooh is the one that "Isn't done with" Sheamus. But Sheamus just leaves.

Piglet is already at sea talking about baseball when a new ship appears!! On board that vessel is Bugs Bully. He is Bugs Bunny's evil twin. Bugs is Piglet's first mate. Piglet says that evil twins are put into movies when writers run out of ideas. Bugs Bully uses missiles to fight Piglet, and who else but the Incredible Hulk comes out of no where to help. The Hulk throws a rock and it knocks out Bug's Bully's assistant Little Bill. So Bugs Bully uses Little Bill as ammunition against Piglet. Little Bill breaks Piglet's pirate ship in this single hit. Apparently Little Bill can cause more damage than a missile. Well, the ship sinks.

Back to the WWE, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler give exposition like they always do in real life, saying there is another new rookie that will reveal himself against Pooh. It heads backstage to Pooh. Randy Orton comes out to say good luck to Pooh. Orton was my favorite wrestler when I watched WWE. I had to insert him into the story, I apologize. When Orton says this Pooh gets defensive, assuming he will be attacked by Orton. Orton responds by saying he only attacks important people and Meatloaf.

Pooh heads down to the ring and we meet the other new rookie: It's the Jolly Green Giant. Except he now is named the Not-So Jolly Green Giant because his wife left him. He joined WWE to take out his anger. Pooh asks if they can talk it over and gets stepped on.

Pooh has been hospitalized as a result of being stepped on. Piglet visits him in the hospital. Pooh's injuries are as follows. This is exactly how I wrote it: "Well, I got steped on by the Not-so Jolly Green Giant. He crushed every bone in my body, I lost my left lung, gullbladder, right kidney, and pancreas. I lost 300mL of blood and you can die when you get 301mL lost... this sucks."

A nurse brings in Pooh's lunch and Piglet makes a Mexican joke. Pooh is offended by the Mexican joke and it startles the person Pooh is sharing a room with. Pooh motions Piglet to see who it is. It's Bill Cosby. He does stereotypical Bill Cosby stuff and Piglet says how it must be unbearable, Pooh says to check out who is across the hall. Piglet leaves and checks out the room across the way. The person there is Ken Jennings, the guy that won a bunch of money in Jeopardy a long time ago. Ken apparently has some sort of smart disease because everything he says is something really smart. When Ken begins listing every decimal value in pi, Piglet leaves the hospital.

Next is another WWE moment. Jerry Lawler summarizes the previous 10 minutes of the movie just in case someone had gone to the bathroom then. He also says that the Not-So Jolly Green Giant has already won the Intercontinental Championship. Randy Orton is in the ring and suddenly Pooh comes out. He says that he can't believe he's better already. Sheamus comes out and actually makes a well written statement: "You have lots of nerves to come out here! Too bad I have to pinch all of them." Pooh isn't even phased by Sheamus until N.S.J.G.G. rips the roof off of the stadium. Sheamus says that he and N.S.J.G.G. are now tag team partners. He tells Pooh to find a partner for when the teams will face off later.

Pooh is now in the locker room wearing a restraint jacket in deep thought about partners. Orton comes in and agrees to being Pooh's partner after he asks only once. The way I wrote it with Orton sighing I guess I wanted the two to slowly grow partnership but that really ruined any chance of that.

We're back at sea again. All of Piglet's crew is in a little raft since the ship sunk. Over the previous scene, Piglet came up with the idea to steal Bus Bully's ship. They float to Bully's keep. Piglet climbs the side of the ship and at the top drops a rope for the others. As soon as the crew are in the ship they have been able to get it sailing. Just as quick a small raft is chasing after them now firing. They fight for a while and Piglet gets away with Bully's ship. They had barely gotten away from the little raft alive and Piglet says that they need to train to become better pirates. To fill this scene I just wrote (training montage).

Back at WWE, the tag team match is beginning. Pooh says to Orton he has a special finishing move and says he'll bring it out later. That's all the info on the move he gives Orton. I fill this part by saying (begin match. go for 3 min.) Pooh tags Orton in and they execute the special move. Orton pins Sheamus, and it looks like he and Pooh will have the win when the N.S.J.G.G. merely lifts Orton off of Sheamus and flicks Orton into Pooh. He then steps on them both.

Pooh is back in the hospital again. He and Orton have been conveniently placed in the same room. Not to mention Bill Cosby is there again too. Orton is disgusted at the idea of Bill Cosby and Pooh tells him to check next door. Homer Simpson, going from leader of the Adult's shows army in the last movie to a guy that blew his leg off with a homemade bomb, is in the other room. Orton tells Pooh they should just get better.

The next scene is blatantly copying a movie I assume I wrote right before writing this part. The giant is just walking somewhere at night when he falls into a pit. In some control room, a scientist says that there was a drastic weight change in pit 3.72101237991. The test goes on anyway. It turns out it is the sand test from Spider Man 3. The Not-So Jolly Green Giant transforms as a result from that to the Sandman.

Piglet said that they needed to gain more territory. They find the leader of the Penthouse Ship Fleet and fight them for 2:51 minutes. Piglet says it was almost too easy to beat them. Right after saying this Piglet is surrounded by Bugs Bully's $50 fleet. Piglet asks if the $50 meant that was the amount of money Bully spent on it. It actually means that Bugs Bully's fleet was 100 times better than 50 Cent. Piglet insults Bully's intelligence and Bully says he would sink them if it wasn't his ship they were on. Little Bill who somehow managed the attack from earlier asks Bully what they should do now. Bully tells them to leave. Why? Because Bully has the detonator switch from the first movie!! Told you it would stay relevant in the series.

The next scene starts with more WWE announcer exposition. It's been 2 weeks since the last WWE scene occurred. Sheamus and the N.S.J.G.G., who is now the Sandman, have won the Tag Team Championship. Orton and Pooh have recovered from their injuries. The announcers are interrupted by Sheamus and Sandman. Sheamus says that he and Sandman are the phenoms of WWE, and they want more title shots. Pooh and Orton come out to protest this. Pooh says that they'll have to beat him and Orton for #1 contendership first. Without Orton's consent, he put him vs Sandman in Hell in a Cell. Pooh will fight Sheamus in a ladder match. The first match starts already after the announcers summarize what just happened in case the crowd are complete morons. But first...

Piglet is discussing with Bugs Bunny how they need more ships for their Sinkhole fleet. Bugs says that he's known a guy for a decade, he builds stuff, but never a ship. At the guy's house the guy says the very same thing. Piglet says they will provide materials, and the guy says he will try. After one of those circle transition things the guy shows them the ship. It says in the notebook that it looks amazingly well built, but has a chicken leg holding the bow together. I don't get it either.

Next is one of my favorite parts of the movie. After docking the ship, Piglet goes home. He begins to put dishes in his dishwasher. He pauses dramatically and says "Wait a minute, I don't own a dishwasher..." Piglet then goes to the bathroom and turns on the shower. He looks in the mirror and takes off his captain hat (Hope your visual image of Piglet hasn't been ruined by adding this hat). When he moves the hat and can see the mirror again, his image is replaced by Michael Jackson's. Piglet screams. Michael Jackson says he is haunting people's houses because it is adequate excitement. He scares Piglet once again. Piglet enters his shower and stands there for a while doing normal shower scene stuff. Suddenly the shower curtain rips open. The psycho music plays, a dude is holding a knife, and Piglet screams yet again. It turns out that dude is Pooh, who is returning Piglet's butcher knife. Pooh really knows how to make an entry.

So Piglet asks how Pooh's match went. He takes out what I call a portable T.V. which now could easily just be a smartphone. On it it shows that both he and Orton won their matches, but Orton lost his arm. The doctors got it attached again, but Orton has to take 9 months to recover. I have no idea what the doctors are basing that recovery time off of since Pooh's horrific injuries healed in only one week. Pooh pretty much ends that with saying he needs a new partner. The conversation is cut off when Piglet's phone rings. Apparently, Bugs Bully's ship already got stolen. Pooh thinks it is his original ship, the Grande Bolas. It has taken me up until now to find out what "Big balls" was in Spanish. Piglet never told Pooh it had sunk. Pooh is in shock, and Piglet tries reassuring Pooh by saying he has a brand new ship. Pooh tells Piglet to just go, and Piglet runs out of his house. From outside, we can hear Pooh say "Michael Jackson?"

Next we're back in the WWE locker room and Pooh is talking to Orton on the phone when Sheamus barges in. Sheamus says Pooh doesn't deserve an Intercontinental Championship title shot. Pooh says he will easily beat William Regal. Sheamus laughs. He tells Pooh that Regal isn't the Champion. If you can remember, Sandman is. Pooh faces off against Sandman. He punches Sandman, but it nearly breaks his hand. Sandman says that since he is made of sand, his ego can be as solid as a rock or free as a cloud of dust. Pooh tells him to lay off the similes and fight. Pooh is defeated by Sandman.

Back with Piglet and the pirates, Piglet is asking Bugs Bunny how the Bugship was stolen. Bugs just says: "Well we were asleep and suddenly it was moving." Piglet says that their "safety net of safety" was gone with the ship back with Bully. This is evident because already Bugs Bully's $50 fleet is already attacking Piglet's ship. They fight for a while, and Little Bill tells Bugs Bully that if they don't retreat the ship will sink. So Bully retreats. Piglet's crew jump with joy. Piglet says they're going to attack Bully tomorrow.

Now on the WWE Pooh is finally facing Sheamus for #1 contendership for WWE Championship. They fight for 2 1/2 minutes when Pooh is defeated. Pooh is devestated. He goes home after the match.

It's the next day and Pooh turns on the news. For some reason national news is covering the WWE. Sheamus has won the WWE Championship. Pooh shouts "Nooooo!" very dramatically. He goes to the WWE and paces the locker room talking to himself. He remembers how Orton had told him that Sheamus was mental, and would do anything in the world to beat you. Wait, Pooh thinks, Orton didn't say that, he actually said: "If you ever touch my waffles again I will RKO the life out of you." Sheamus comes in to gloat, and when he leaves Pooh sits down thinking how he had lost his touch after the war in the last movie. He gains confidence after hearing Orton's voice saying:"Remember to submit before the pin." I have no idea what it means, and it is never brought up again. It gives Pooh confidence, and he is prepared for his next match.

Back again with the pirates, they have found Bugship and are ready for battle. They fight for 2 minutes and then sees Bully with the remote detonator. Piglet tells his crew to stop firing. Bully doesn't know why they have stopped firing, then realizes he still has the remote detonator. He gets very cocky, even going as far as to tease Piglet's crew in 5 year old levels of immaturity. Little Bill tells Bully not to rub it in their face too much. Bully doesn't listen. Piglet asks Bugs Bunny why Bully is acting so immature. Bugs says, "What? He's an asshole!" Piglet suddenly gets an idea. Little Bill keeps telling Bully to stop acting like an idiot. Bully says he can do whatever he wants with the remote detonator, and he hoists it high above his head. Piglet now comes swinging in on a rope and he grabs the detonator out of Bully's hand. Piglet's crew cheers from the other ship as Piglet flies around on the other side... hitting a wall. He gets captured.

So Pooh is about to go in for his confidence boosted match when he is called by Bugs Bunny. Bugs says that Piglet has been captured. Pooh says he will be there right after WWE. Once he loses yet another match and yet another #1 contendership spot, he tries to leave the arena when McMahon sees him. Pooh is really trying to leave, but McMahon keeps him there long enough for him to tell Pooh that Orton wanted to give him the Money in the Bank briefcase. Pooh suddenly doesn't care about Piglet anymore, and he goes to tell Sheamus this.

Sheamus is cutting a promo about how awesome he is when Pooh comes out. He stands on the stage and explains how he got the briefcase and how he will see Sheamus at Wrestlemania. Some random narrating voice says that Pooh brought Sheamus back down to eath. Everyone complains about the narrating voice, so it goes away.

Now we find Piglet in a prison area on the Bugship. He finds that Dennis Anderson, Terry Labonte, and Alan Jackson are also trapped on this boat. Pretty random assortment of celebrities. Piglet hopes he can get out fast. Bugs then orders a raid on the Bugship. The entire crew piles onto the Bugship. For this scene I wrote (They go in and get Piglet it takes 5 minutes and play some sort of song.) Once they find Piglet they make for an exit. They come upon a fork in the place. Piglet bends over and picks up a fork. Some Bugship guards see them and the Sinkhole crew have to jump overboard. Bully sees this and is angry. Little Bill asks what they will do now. Bully says it is okay, they still have half a movie to kill them. That's right, we're only a little over halfway done.

I just found out something wild: That bird from Noggin is named Z. That will be easier to write than "the bird". Anyway the WWE is back on and Pooh is watching over an NXT rookie, even though Pooh is still a rookie himself. Who is Pooh's rookie? Ronald McDonald. Yep. Rabbit and Z, who you remember from earlier also survived, come in. Rabbit makes a joke and hears studio audience laughter. He asks where it's coming from? Pooh says he has to go watch his NXT rookie. Rabbit asks who it is. Ronald comes in saying he forgot his boots. Rabbit asks in a sarcastic way: That is really your rookie? This gets more studio audience laughter. Pooh says that Ronald wanted him, but Pooh really wanted the sumo wrestler. More studio audience laughter. Z blinks. Pooh yells at Z for using such bad language, Ronald isn't that bad!

Jeff Burton out of nowhere shouts "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!!!!" Game show music begins to play and the audience cheers. What you're about to read about is the most pointless thing in all 4 of these movies. This is the game show That's What You Think. Jeff Burton explains the game's rules. They play the game and lose about 2 minutes later. All they win is a potato. The entire set is cleared. Pooh says they should just go and watch Ronald.

After Ronald's match the WWE arena breaks out into a riot, causing the entire structure to fall apart. Pooh finally agrees with Z, maybe Ronald is pretty bad.

Next we're with Piglet who is relaxing on a beach being lathered by bikini babes. Bugs Bunny comes in and tells Piglet they should worry about Bully and the detonator. Piglet ignores him, Bugs gets an awkward phone call, and then leaves Piglet to his bikini babes.

Back at Pooh's house, he is watching the news again. "In entertainment news Taylor Swift has been found killing a helpless fly. People are beginning to wonder when newscasters will talk about something actually important in entertainment. In sports, Sheamus is calling out his Wretlemania opponent." Pooh comments on how Sheamus should've run out of "Call outs" by now and goes to his freezer.

What follows is another funny moment in this script: Pooh screams. Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh is sitting in the freezer. Pooh says "What's next? Colin Mochrie asking for peanut butter?" There's a knock at Pooh's door. Colin Mochrie is outside and he is wondering if Pooh has any Bread. Pooh walks back to his kitchen and says "What's next? Leonardo DiCaprio committing suicide outside my window?" Megan Fox walks up to the window and shoots herself. Eeyore who is still in Pooh's freezer says Pooh should just stop talking. Pooh agrees after shouting "When a million dollars rain down on me." Nothing happens. Pooh goes to the door to give Colin Mochrie the bread. Colin asks if Pooh has any jelly as well. Pooh slams the door on Colin, almost immediately it rings again. Pooh says "What now?" Eeyore is there, "Wait, how did I get here?" Pooh slams the door one last time.

It's finally Wrestlemania, and the announcers summarize the WWE portion of the film so far. Pooh and Sheamus come out to finish this, WWE Championship on the line. The match is neck and neck for 4 minutes. Sheamus takes out a lead pipe, and Pooh has to dodge it. Pooh manages to take down Sheamus without getting hit with the pipe and win the WWE Championship.

Here's exactly what I wrote for Sheamus's reaction to the title loss: "Uhgh... Ya ain't gettin the WWE Championship, and ya ain't never gettin the WWE Championship, ya see, I'm prying it from your lifeless hand." He brings out Sandman, and they are about to kill Pooh when RANDY ORTON runs out and KOs Sheamus. This makes Sandman really angry and he grows to humongous size. Pooh says they have to take Sandman like men, but Orton goes and hides behind a bush. It turns out there was an RPG behind the bush and Orton had hit Sandman before he stepped on Pooh. They keep Sandman at bay for a while and realize they will need a lot more firepower.

Right in the nick of time Rabbit comes flying in in a taxi with rockets. Pooh thinks they have no chance to lose when Rabbit is blown up by Bugs Bully and the rest of Bugship. Pooh curses his thoughts and Orton asks what they could possibly do now. Pooh looks at some papers and says they should look west in 10 seconds. Orton asks if that's the script Pooh's reading from. Pooh slowly hides the papers, saying nooo.

Right then, the Sinkhole's new ship attacks Bugship. Piglet isn't on the Sinkhole ship, and Pooh and Orton board the Sinkhole ship. The Sinkhole ship and Bugship go out to sea and begin to battle within a dramatic whirlpool with epic music playing. Pooh comments on how similar this was to the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Sandman, now back to normal size, asks how he can help Bugs Bully. He just can't get wet. Bully doesn't need any help since he has the remote detonator. He hoists it above his head again. Piglet flies in in a little airplane and grabs the remote detonator once again. Sandman goes after Piglet. Piglet's water bottle flies out of the planes cup holder and covers Sandman in water. Sandman starts transforming into mud. He can no longer chase after Piglet and he falls to the sea below. Sandman completely muddifies, and he breaks apart in the waters.

Piglet jumps out of his plane and lands on Pooh's ship. He gives Pooh the remote detonator. Piglet walks off to go and get some more water. Pooh is about to put the remote detonator into a bag when Bugs Bully slashes Pooh with his sword. Bully slashes at Pooh, whilst telling Pooh about his hardships to get that detonator. After all the slashing, Pooh's stomach has wounds that spell out "dick." That's a 13 year old's sense of humor right there. He is pushed down by Bugs Bully and is about to be stabbed when Orton taps Bully's shoulder. Clearly annoyed, Bully turns around and gets RKOed.

Here in the final scene, Pooh is looking at the domain he's created and how he's defeated Bugs Bully. He wonders if Piglet even knows what's happened. Piglet was behind Pooh when he said that, and is offended by how much Pooh thinks he doesn't care. They get into a fight that most couples wouldn't even get into. The fight ends when Pooh says "f*ck you." Piglet responds by saying "No Pooh," pulling out a gun, and finishing with "f*ck you."

A gunshot is heard and the screen would whiten. Pooh wakes up in his bed as his alarm goes off. He sits in bed thinking that it was all just a bad dream, when he looks over to see a Greek god in his bed. The Greek god says "I wouldn't count on it," Pooh screams and wakes up yet again, saying that it was all just a bad dream. He goes outside his house and is suddenly floating in space. Pooh says "Ok, this isn't right." He then bumps into a planet. The planet says "Oh, oh sure, you're in outer-f*cking-space with infinite room and you just have to run into me. Pooh screams once again and wakes up once again. He says to himself it was all just a bad dream. He goes outside his house and sees a giant eyeball. Pooh screams once again. As he screams the camera would pull out, seeing the States, the earth, continue pulling out into space showing the galaxy, many galaxies, and would pull out to eventually a black piece of paper, with a microscope and a man looking through it. The man would say: "Excellent! My experiment is working perfectly; Making multiple living organisms and scattering them out over a universe! I'm so winning first prize in the science fair! And with that, he turns off the lamp on his desk, filling the screen with black, and ending the movie.

Geez, there's still two films left to go and I'm already questioning my sanity! I called these movies "Disaster Cartoon." It was a combination of Disaster Movie and cartoons. Clearly the plot went in a different direction. I left out a lot of random, unimportant scenes in the first movie's review, but did everything for this one. I like the pirate section for the story in this one, but could easily leave out any WWE part and all of the random 13 year old humor.

Well, did you like this one or the first one better? The third one I'll start up on tomorrow.

TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

    The Bearded Child

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#310

Posted 08 May 2013 - 09:56 AM

QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Wednesday, May 8 2013, 04:05)
I'm tired, I'll do the rest tomorrow.

For the love of everything ever always and forever, stahp.

This is hurting my heart.

Lochie
  • Lochie

    darkness washed over the dude

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#311

Posted 11 May 2013 - 02:37 AM

QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Wednesday, May 8 2013, 09:56)
QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Wednesday, May 8 2013, 04:05)
I'm tired, I'll do the rest tomorrow.

For the love of everything ever always and forever, stahp.

This is hurting my heart.

Quoted for truth.

I haven't really been in this area much lately, any stories I should catch up on? A few familiar faces have popped up so I might have a read through some of the stuff on the first page and see if I can offer any feedback.

Zugzwang
  • Zugzwang

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#312

Posted 11 May 2013 - 03:51 AM

I have a problem with writing something for about twenty minutes, losing interest, and then instead of picking it up later I just post it right away.

And then later I log onto GTAF, remember posting it, and being afraid to click on it because of how horrible it is

Coat.
  • Coat.

    Lavish

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  • Australia

#313

Posted 11 May 2013 - 04:33 AM

QUOTE (methods @ Saturday, May 11 2013, 02:37)
QUOTE (TonyZimmzy @ Wednesday, May 8 2013, 09:56)
QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Wednesday, May 8 2013, 04:05)
I'm tired, I'll do the rest tomorrow.

For the love of everything ever always and forever, stahp.

This is hurting my heart.

Quoted for truth.

I haven't really been in this area much lately, any stories I should catch up on? A few familiar faces have popped up so I might have a read through some of the stuff on the first page and see if I can offer any feedback.

I wrote a new chapter on Peasant Blurs. It might be a few pages back but feedback would be nice.

universetwisters
  • universetwisters

    Leben Heißt leben

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#314

Posted 11 May 2013 - 12:59 PM

Quick amigos, I'm going to make a stupid, pointless mashup/crossover on Youtube, and I need ideas, fast. It's going to be called "The Ballad of Thomas the Tank Engine, Mister Rodgers, and Rachel Ray vs. Tommy Vercettii in Leonard, Michigan"

Ziggy455
  • Ziggy455

    I'm the writer.

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#315

Posted 11 May 2013 - 01:42 PM

QUOTE (methods @ Saturday, May 11 2013, 02:37)
I haven't really been in this area much lately, any stories I should catch up on? A few familiar faces have popped up so I might have a read through some of the stuff on the first page and see if I can offer any feedback.

Check out Pet Hate, Eminence's first piece on GTAF for a while. Or maybe hit up Tony's recently finished fable. There's a few goodies out there mixed between the mediocre drivel of the V fans.

El Zilcho
  • El Zilcho

    Virtuoso

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#316

Posted 11 May 2013 - 04:54 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 11 May 2013 - 06:34 PM.

I'm considering returning to Cabal, albeit after I've wrapped up my AS exams (which will be done by the 23rd May).

It was the narrative piece I used in my English AS coursework. The introduction (with tweaks) was what, in accordance with a speech and a commentary comparing both, got me 100%. So I suppose I owe it a return, as it has served me very well in academia!

Lethal Nizzle
  • Lethal Nizzle

    Optima dies, prima fugit

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#317

Posted 11 May 2013 - 10:31 PM

An idea come to me the other day and after a short brainstorming/planning session, I began to write but nothing seemed to work. It appears that after a year of writing nothing but academic essays the creative writing part of my mind is frazzled. Anyone ever get this?

Sweet.
  • Sweet.

    f*ck you foley talking sh*t about my dead girl

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#318

Posted 11 May 2013 - 11:26 PM

I'm Working On Something That Will Take Several Months, Can't Wait To Post It Ill Be Posting Teasers Soon.

Typhus
  • Typhus

    OG

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#319

Posted 11 May 2013 - 11:31 PM

QUOTE (Lethal Nizzle @ Saturday, May 11 2013, 22:31)
An idea come to me the other day and after a short brainstorming/planning session, I began to write but nothing seemed to work. It appears that after a year of writing nothing but academic essays the creative writing part of my mind is frazzled. Anyone ever get this?

My best friend has this.
He went to Uni, had all the originality beaten out of him by idiot tutors and examiners - now he's got a degree but no imagination. Zero. None. Any inspiration he has had has come from ideas I have involved him with.

I don't know what to suggest, because my friend barely listens to most of my ideas - when I try to give him ideas, try to help him, he smiles and nods and says 'Yeah, that sounds good' and doesn't act on a single thing I've said.

I suppose all I can say is that you should be receptive to ideas, unlike him. And, above all else, act on momentary bouts of enthusiasm - don't be like this guy and procrastinate and whine until you're nothing but a tangled mess of excuses and scapegoats.

Tell me, what are you thinking of writing? I love to help people and perhaps we could all have a brainstorming session to get you out of this funk smile.gif

Lethal Nizzle
  • Lethal Nizzle

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#320

Posted 11 May 2013 - 11:54 PM

QUOTE (Typhus @ Saturday, May 11 2013, 23:31)
QUOTE (Lethal Nizzle @ Saturday, May 11 2013, 22:31)
An idea come to me the other day and after a short brainstorming/planning session, I began to write but nothing seemed to work. It appears that after a year of writing nothing but academic essays the creative writing part of my mind is frazzled. Anyone ever get this?

My best friend has this.
He went to Uni, had all the originality beaten out of him by idiot tutors and examiners - now he's got a degree but no imagination. Zero. None. Any inspiration he has had has come from ideas I have involved him with.

I don't know what to suggest, because my friend barely listens to most of my ideas - when I try to give him ideas, try to help him, he smiles and nods and says 'Yeah, that sounds good' and doesn't act on a single thing I've said.

I suppose all I can say is that you should be receptive to ideas, unlike him. And, above all else, act on momentary bouts of enthusiasm - don't be like this guy and procrastinate and whine until you're nothing but a tangled mess of excuses and scapegoats.

Tell me, what are you thinking of writing? I love to help people and perhaps we could all have a brainstorming session to get you out of this funk smile.gif

Well a couple of ideas came out of nowhere really, I noted them down and tried to make them work, but not a lot came of it. I wrote about 200 words before I stopped, re-read what I had written and promptly deleted it all. I don't know, it's a weird feeling; I doubt my imagination has left me, or my desire to write creative prose, it's just at the moment with exams/essay deadlines my writing has become machine-like, writing exactly what's expected of me. I retain my own unique and fluid writing style but when the subject matter is one I can control and manipulate, it doesn't really go anywhere if that makes sense?

It escapes me what my idea was (I had the notes on my phone but I've since had that phone replaced), I believe it was some sort of vignette of sorts about a writer searching for a creative spark that had eluded him, which seems very ironic for this situation. tounge2.gif This isn't something that troubles me by the way, I have bigger things on my mind (in the middle of exam season) but I found suddenly switching from essay-writing to creative prose quite jarring.

BrownBear
  • BrownBear

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#321

Posted 12 May 2013 - 01:17 AM

I've had some ideas for a story and I'd like to hear your thoughts on it. It's a fantasy set in Arthurian England, particularly around Wiltshire and it's surrounding areas, where I live. The tone is sort of a realistic fantasy, there are monsters and magic, but done in a "realistic" way.
I don't have a real idea for a story yet, but I've jotted down a small paragraph or two, here it is, any criticism is extremely welcome.
The green hills seemed to roll on forever, coated in thick early morning mist. A few lonely birch trees sat melancholy on the steep slopes, watching over the bleak landscape. On the outskirts of a deep forest rose a towering hill, dotted with rocks and brambles, atop it stood a gathering of great, ancient stones, carved on them were the ghoulish faces of the Old Gods, staring into the forest around them. Foul whispers of dark and ancient magic resonated from deep within the old stones.
Out of the dark, twisted woods rode three men, haggard and weary, wrapped in thick woolen blankets, rocking sleepily atop their Welsh horses. They trudged wearily up the slopes of the steep hill, stopping at the crest as the morning sun broke the ethereal mist. The leading man stopped to take a swig from the worn leather canteen at his side. They stood silently, watching a great hawk circling the outskirts of the forest, stalking a group of hares below, with a fell swoop, the hawk carried the screeching hare to it's death.

Master of San Andreas
  • Master of San Andreas

    Leaving with a big bang, you guys rock.

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#322

Posted 12 May 2013 - 10:21 AM

Just letting y'all know that I'm putting Ghost Hunter on hold. I am writing a video game story called 'Blackout' which is inspired by TonyZimmzy, Hopefully it should be up by Tuesday. smile.gif

orbitalraindrops
  • orbitalraindrops

    Homie

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#323

Posted 12 May 2013 - 11:58 AM



This reminds me so much of how English Lit was taught at our old school. Only had one decent teacher in the 7 years I was there.

TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

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#324

Posted 12 May 2013 - 09:04 PM

QUOTE (Master of San Andreas @ Sunday, May 12 2013, 10:21)
Just letting y'all know that I'm putting Ghost Hunter on hold. I am writing a video game story called 'Blackout' which is inspired by TonyZimmzy, Hopefully it should be up by Tuesday. smile.gif

Seriously makes me very happy to see I've inspired multiple new releases on this part of the forum as of late. I'll be sure to follow along!

I'm currently re-reading a lot of older pieces on the forums right now and it's been a lot of fun.

I'm four chapters in to my Legacy sequel and it's soon time to get this thing posted up! Just gotta figure out a few things first! I'm gonna be releasing each chapter at a set time on a set day once a week, hoping it draws more readers in. I thought about this a while back, as my Thursday mornings have become synonymous with waking up and religiously watching a new YT vlog that's released every Wednesday @ midnight. It's something I very much look forward to on Thursday mornings, so I shall apply this to writing/releasing! sleepy.gif

Tyler
  • Tyler

    time is a flat circle

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#325

Posted 12 May 2013 - 09:12 PM

I read through some of my older stuff on here. Man I suck[ed]. It's nice to see some of the older stories that are a bit famous though. Most of them are fanfics and I enjoy reading them but let's not go down that rabbit hole again.

VProductions
  • VProductions

    Mack Pimp

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#326

Posted 12 May 2013 - 09:25 PM

My oldest fiction is this http://www.gtaforums...st&p=1061905438 it's funny because the story I had planned for that was pretty awesome, there were like nuclear bombs and cover-ups and massive citywide shootouts etc planned but I scrapped it for a reason I can't remember. sad.gif

TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

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#327

Posted 15 May 2013 - 02:10 AM

Just spent a good 2 hours making the front page for Heart City: Empires. My butt is numb and I'm hungry as balls. Hopefully it's appetizing to the eyeballs and I'll update it consistently. happy.gif

Got me some stories to catch up on by the looks of things!

Master of San Andreas
  • Master of San Andreas

    Leaving with a big bang, you guys rock.

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#328

Posted 15 May 2013 - 05:30 AM

Hey guys, Blackout is up. 32 views and zero replies. sad.gif

Mokrie Dela
  • Mokrie Dela

    МОКРЫЕДЕЛA

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  • Joined: 01 May 2009
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#329

Posted 15 May 2013 - 10:30 AM

QUOTE (Master of San Andreas @ Wednesday, May 15 2013, 05:30)
Hey guys, Blackout is up. 32 views and zero replies. sad.gif

The only reason i haven't replied is because I can't say much. Scripts and that sort of writing are beyond me, and I really can not offer advice or criticism because I simply don't know! I wont reply for the hell of it. As i've said, i just can't get into scripts. Maybe one day i will, but I'm sure you'd want people replying saying "this is good," when they A mean it or B know what they're talking about. I've seen movie scripts of films like "Scarface" and as I looked at it i thought: MEH. But i f*cking LOVE that film. It's just me!


Zimms, damn it i still haven't finished the first one. Jesus, I might catch up this century... sad.gif

TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

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#330

Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:05 AM

QUOTE (Mokrie Dela @ Wednesday, May 15 2013, 10:30)
QUOTE (Master of San Andreas @ Wednesday, May 15 2013, 05:30)
Hey guys, Blackout is up. 32 views and zero replies.  sad.gif

The only reason i haven't replied is because I can't say much. Scripts and that sort of writing are beyond me, and I really can not offer advice or criticism because I simply don't know! I wont reply for the hell of it. As i've said, i just can't get into scripts. Maybe one day i will, but I'm sure you'd want people replying saying "this is good," when they A mean it or B know what they're talking about. I've seen movie scripts of films like "Scarface" and as I looked at it i thought: MEH. But i f*cking LOVE that film. It's just me!


Zimms, damn it i still haven't finished the first one. Jesus, I might catch up this century... sad.gif

It could definitely be read as just a standalone; the first one is script format. The only real links in the narrative from the previous story is character tie-ins, and even then, a lot of people aren't gonna know who some of the characters are any way, as a few were way back in the originals as well.

I'll read the script later this afternoon or late evening, along with a few other pieces. I dunn lost mah day jewb, so I gots'ta start jerb huntin'.




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