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Well I think my dad is cheating on my mom...

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NikoGTA4
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#1

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:42 AM

Well I just heard my dad having a conversation with someone in his room. I'm quite shocked by what I heard in fact. I'm really shocked. He was calling her "baby" and saying things like "I love you".
Well I don't f*cking know what should I do. Should I confront him? Should I tell my mom?

They've been together for 32 years. I'm 18 years old, i've got 2 older sisters. My mom is battling breast cancer and he has the audacity of having such a conversation while me and my mom are at home. i'm really heartbroken.

I know it's dumb to write this on a gaming forum but hell, i'm shaking right now.

I'm scared that if I tell my mom it will tear apart my family. We're already in such a bad situation.
I don't know I think i'll definitly tell her about it.

Have you ever been in such a situation?

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#2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:43 AM

Confront him. Man to man, tell him what you heard.

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#3

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:50 AM

Did you hear in what context he said it. It could be a giant misunderstanding. If not especially considering the current situation with the health of your Mother: Confront him and if you really feel te need to do so, you can kick the living hell out of him. Cheating at it self is awfull but cheating on a woman with cancer is criminal in my opinion. His wife needs him now more than ever! Things like this disgust me.

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#4

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:55 AM

You should tell him casually that you overheard him call someone on the phone baby and you were wondering if he was cheating on your mom. Tell him that it concerned you a lot and ask him to be honest. Don't go in there angry and ready to fight. It could all be a big misunderstanding.

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#5

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:58 AM

Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

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#6

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:59 AM

Are you sure he wasn't talking to one of your sisters?

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#7

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:00 AM

Tell him to meet you at some place away from home, don't want to get your mother mixed in on this, considering the circumstances.
If things go wrong, drop him.




NikoGTA4
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#8

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:01 AM

QUOTE (NKOH @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 21:59)
Are you sure he wasn't talking to one of your sisters?

Nah dude I don't have a sister called "Cindy"

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#9

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:02 AM

QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:58)
Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

Could it be maybe someone he works with that he jokes around with? I really am having trouble trying to comprehend how someone could cheat on his wife that is fighting cancer. I hope for the best!

NikoGTA4
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#10

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:05 AM

QUOTE (Raavi @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 22:02)
QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:58)
Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

Could it be maybe someone he works with that he jokes around with? I really am having trouble trying to comprehend how someone could cheat on his wife that is fighting cancer. I hope for the best!

I know dude, you know what? A long time ago he said he was working with some Cindy, that's what I first thought, but you dont' say things like that to coworkers you know.

And yeah that's a f*cking low move, my mom is fighting for her life.

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#11

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:05 AM

QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 02:58)
Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

Then just apologize for eavesdropping and ask him. What else can you do if you really want to know?

Kifflom112
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#12

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:08 AM

confused.gif Hmph...
My dad cheated on my mom back in 2011. My mom found out a day after me and my sister flew to North Carolina alone - late June 2011. Surprisingly they're still together, but my mom still talks about the incident. I don't think my dad got all crazy with it as that bitch he met with was fugly, I'm sorry. lol.gif

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#13

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:10 AM

QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 04:05)
QUOTE (Raavi @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 22:02)
QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:58)
Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

Could it be maybe someone he works with that he jokes around with? I really am having trouble trying to comprehend how someone could cheat on his wife that is fighting cancer. I hope for the best!

I know dude, you know what? A long time ago he said he was working with some Cindy, that's what I first thought, but you dont' say things like that to coworkers you know.

And yeah that's a f*cking low move, my mom is fighting for her life.

No you don't. You could jack his phone after he says goodbye to that woman and call her back to hear her reaction when she sees you dad's number calling. It can be very telling. If you confront him he wil deny it most likely.

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#14

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:10 AM

i'll wait for the right moment I just can't keep this for me.

Oh and he was calling from his laptop. He sure really want to hide this.

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#15

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:10 AM

Good luck, and good luck to your mother.

Other than that there isn't much you can or should do. Your parents are their own people with their own lives.

At best you can hope your dad isn't a dick. If it helps my dad is a dick so you wouldn't be the only dude who has an ass for a father. 'Still love my dad though...
.

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#16

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:12 AM

Don't tell your mom though. She sounds like she's having a rough time already.

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#17

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:20 AM

S a m e t h i n g h a p p e n e d t o m e , b u t t h a t w a s w h e n I w a s l i k e 5 . E x c e p t H e w a s n ' t c h e a t i n g , h e w a s b e a t i n g m y m o t h e r i n s t e a d . N o w I ' m 1 9 , H a v e n ' t s e e n m y f a t h e r s i n c e 2 0 0 8 . I f e e l y o u t h o u g h B r o .

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#18

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:25 AM

QUOTE (Raavi @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 20:02)
QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:58)
Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

Could it be maybe someone he works with that he jokes around with? I really am having trouble trying to comprehend how someone could cheat on his wife that is fighting cancer. I hope for the best!

I don't think it being an awful thing to do keeps people cheating normally, so I don't see why it would be much different in this case. Of course all of the "whys" are probably just the same as the whys for any other relationship... There's probably been a lapse of intimacy, perhaps he feels like he's going to lose her and doesn't want to feel alone, who knows. Not that I'm justifying it, but those are typically the reasons why this kind of thing happens.

Don't ask him about it, don't confront him or accuse him about it or anything like that... Just remind him of the marriage vows he took. Focus on the "in sickness and in health, until death do us part" segment of them. Of course he'll deny it if you confront him about it, but if he has a shred of humanity in him reminding him of this oatha and the connection he has with your mother should be a definite reality check.

The problem is man... The damage is already done. Even if he doesn't continue with the affair and never tells her about it, that's going to be an issue between the two of you for the rest of your life. Meanwhile, if he tells your mother about it that is going to be heartbreak she doesn't need. The question you have to ask yourself--and can only answer yourself--is does she deserve to know.

Honestly, if he has a co-workers named Cindy and you heard him talking to a Cindy I'd say it's pretty likely. Affairs with co-workers are some of the most common after all.

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#19

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:34 AM Edited by NikoGTA4, 28 February 2013 - 03:43 AM.

QUOTE (SagaciousKJB @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 22:25)
QUOTE (Raavi @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 20:02)
QUOTE (NikoGTA4 @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:58)
Well I don't know cause I kinda listened to the door, I was curious since he was laughing and all, then the serious talk started...

For christ sake, how could he do that...

Could it be maybe someone he works with that he jokes around with? I really am having trouble trying to comprehend how someone could cheat on his wife that is fighting cancer. I hope for the best!

I don't think it being an awful thing to do keeps people cheating normally, so I don't see why it would be much different in this case. Of course all of the "whys" are probably just the same as the whys for any other relationship... There's probably been a lapse of intimacy, perhaps he feels like he's going to lose her and doesn't want to feel alone, who knows. Not that I'm justifying it, but those are typically the reasons why this kind of thing happens.

Don't ask him about it, don't confront him or accuse him about it or anything like that... Just remind him of the marriage vows he took. Focus on the "in sickness and in health, until death do us part" segment of them. Of course he'll deny it if you confront him about it, but if he has a shred of humanity in him reminding him of this oatha and the connection he has with your mother should be a definite reality check.

The problem is man... The damage is already done. Even if he doesn't continue with the affair and never tells her about it, that's going to be an issue between the two of you for the rest of your life. Meanwhile, if he tells your mother about it that is going to be heartbreak she doesn't need. The question you have to ask yourself--and can only answer yourself--is does she deserve to know.

Honestly, if he has a co-workers named Cindy and you heard him talking to a Cindy I'd say it's pretty likely. Affairs with co-workers are some of the most common after all.

I know man. That's what I'm really afraid. I'm afraid that I tell my mom, she's somewhat gonna lose hope and all that stuff, and so my dad will know that I told her so he's gonna be pissed at me forever. But as I said, I just can't keep this for myself. It hurts too much. My mom trusts him, I trusted him, my whole family does. I'm probably only going talk about it to one of my sister and see how it goes.

My other sister is mentally disabled and it's going to break her heart even more, she's 27, she doesn't really have a big maturity and she has affective disorders and I just can't imagine my parents breaking away in such a bad family situation.


And you know what? It all makes sense now. He never let us approach his computer, he had condoms in his office drawers...

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#20

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:43 AM

I'd say wait and try to hear if he talks to het again or try to find his laptop. Cause if your mothers cancer is really bad it could get worse if she finds out about it so its a tough spot :\

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#21

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:47 AM

Seriously dude, don't tell your mother, it's not worth it. As much as it sucks to, hold it in man. Telling her is just going to break her heart and make her angry at your dad who probably still loves her.

I would keep it to myself if I were you, at least till the whole cancer thing disappears.

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#22

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:48 AM

Talk to him casually. There's nothing wrong if he told the truth.

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#23

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:51 AM

You know what you do. You blackmail the f*ck outta him. New car, money, sh*t like that, and if the chick is fine, f*ck k her too. If not then get a knife and slice his f*cking throat slowly.

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#24

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:00 AM

QUOTE (VoiceoftheVoiceless @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:20)
S a m e t h i n g h a p p e n e d t o m e , b u t t h a t w a s w h e n I w a s l i k e 5 . E x c e p t H e w a s n ' t c h e a t i n g , h e w a s b e a t i n g m y m o t h e r i n s t e a d . N o w I ' m 1 9 , H a v e n ' t s e e n m y f a t h e r s i n c e 2 0 0 8 . I f e e l y o u t h o u g h B r o .

Seriously, what kind of buttf*ckery is this???

OT: I agree with about everything here. Snoop around a little bit, but don't get too involved or act too suspicious. If you think there is definite proof of an affair, confront him away from your mother. Even if he denies it, it may just make him rethink things, and either come clean, or just end the affair and let it go quietly. If that doesn't work, knock him one in the jaw, talk a bunch of family crap (though it isn't really crap) and make him feel horrible for what he is doing.
If he doesn't stop cheating, at least make him feel miserable for doing it.

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#25

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:01 AM

I am so sorry. I don't know what you should do.

Any man who cheats on his wife (especially during such a time!) isn't going to be swayed by a "think about your vows" talk. People don't just spontaneously forget about their marriages. Affairs are big commitments, with risks that the adulterer deemed worth taking.

Your mother needs a new companion. Make sure you are able to support her, at least you can be a better man that your dad is.

Do you think there is any chance your mother knows, but doesn't want to make a scene and upset the family?

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#26

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:03 AM

My mom cheated on my dad when I was 10, apparently she f*cked the guy and got an abortion. f*cking disgraceful, but we still have a good relationship. I guess I really didn't have a choice, I was a little kid when it happened. They got divroced, and now we are happier. I think you should confront him. If it all is a misunderstanding (It's possible), then just apologize and forget about it.

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#27

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:11 AM

QUOTE (fatal1ty619 @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 23:00)
QUOTE (VoiceoftheVoiceless @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 03:20)
S a m e t h i n g h a p p e n e d t o m e , b u t t h a t w a s w h e n I w a s l i k e 5 . E x c e p t H e w a s n ' t c h e a t i n g , h e w a s b e a t i n g m y m o t h e r i n s t e a d . N o w I ' m 1 9 , H a v e n ' t s e e n m y f a t h e r s i n c e 2 0 0 8 . I f e e l y o u t h o u g h B r o .

Seriously, what kind of buttf*ckery is this???

OT: I agree with about everything here. Snoop around a little bit, but don't get too involved or act too suspicious. If you think there is definite proof of an affair, confront him away from your mother. Even if he denies it, it may just make him rethink things, and either come clean, or just end the affair and let it go quietly. If that doesn't work, knock him one in the jaw, talk a bunch of family crap (though it isn't really crap) and make him feel horrible for what he is doing.
If he doesn't stop cheating, at least make him feel miserable for doing it.

Y o u w o u l d n ' t u n d e r s t a n d a n y w a y , k i d s d o n ' t b e l o n g o n t h e s e f o r u m s , n o w g e t o f f . A n d I w a s n ' t f u c k i n g t a l k i n g t o y o u .

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#28

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:32 AM

QUOTE (Mr.Mordecai @ Thursday, Feb 28 2013, 11:51)
You know what you do. You blackmail the f*ck outta him. New car, money, sh*t like that, and if the chick is fine, f*ck k her too. If not then get a knife and slice his f*cking throat slowly.

Are you out of your mind? confused.gif

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#29

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:38 AM

QUOTE (Mr.Mordecai @ Wednesday, Feb 27 2013, 21:51)
You know what you do. You blackmail the f*ck outta him. New car, money, sh*t like that, and if the chick is fine, f*ck k her too. If not then get a knife and slice his f*cking throat slowly.

confused.gif This type of situation isn't really a joking matter. It's rather serious and in actuality pretty heart breaking. I should know...

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#30

Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:44 AM

Get off the internet and go talk to one of your family members, someone you can trust, hanging out here wont help you. by far the best advice you can get from people here is to confront your father.




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