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[Storyline] The Flats - Chapter 2 is HERE!

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BK90s
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#1

Posted 03 February 2013 - 02:33 PM Edited by BK90s, 11 January 2014 - 12:24 PM.

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PLOT

The year is 1992, and the place is Idlewood, South Central, Los Santos. Tyrell Dukes is an afro-american young man, who likes to mess around with his friends, chill on the corner, smoke blunts and drink liqour. Maybe he would be an educated citizen of the U.S.A. in the future, a responsible adult, but he will not. Because he got an older brother, Gerain, who has been a member of a local street gang called Front Yard Ballas since a long time. Gerain built his reputation on the streets, and in his set, while their mother didn't take care of them, so now he lives in a nice house in East Los Santos, he rules things in his set as a captain, and enjoys life as it supposed to be. He tried to force his young brother to try to learn something in school, but he early became a truant, so instead, now he wants him to represent the set Ballas, and become independent, even if he have to do it in an illegal way. Tyrell has the Ballas mentality in himself, hates all the hostile gangs around himself, but he has a few problems with getting jumped into the set...
 

CHARACTERS
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Character's nameCharacter's background
TyrellHe is our main character. A good shaped, young guy, who really learnt how to handle a weapon, some business, and problems. He is a typical gang banger, with some street knowledge in his pockets, who knows that sometimes he has to do wrong things, but he also knows that if he wouldn't do these things, he wouldn't survive. This makes him a sober, clever, but non-believer person.
NelsonA guy from the ghetto who Tyrell grew up with. He's kind of hyperactive, funny, dumb, but clever though. He is the joker of the neighbourhood, if there is a chance to make a joke out of someone, he is the first one to shoot that. He says that he prefers to slang things on the corners, instead of running around with a gun, but if he has to run around with a gun, he will definitely do that too.
T-DownAnother guy from the ghetto who Tyrell grew up with. He might look skinny, but he really has a good fitness and stamina, which makes him a good fighter, no matter that is he has a gun or he hasn't. He is a great strategist, and he is also pretty intelligent, but sometimes he can lose his grip if there is no-one to tell him what to do. He still can control other people though, and he is an excellent soldier.
JiggaA youngen who lives around the hood as well. He is a little younger than the guys above with a few ages. He is good with the guns, but he has weak physique, which always makes him a laughing stock around the hood. He tries to put work in for the set, and prove that he has skills in hustling, but at the end of the day, he gets in some kind of trouble, which needs to be settled by the senior gang members.
GerainTyrell's big brother. A guy who grew into the gang culture, and got his PhD from it with a little overstatement. He is a typical suburban thug, who doesn't knows, and doesn't wants to know anything else out of his neighbourhood. He got pretty made from gangbanging, got his own big house, a store in East Los Santos, and a good reputation in the Ballas, which he represents 24/7/365.
KaneOne of the Front Yard Ballas set's O.G. He's a mademan, he has a big house, a whole lot of goons, and big connections. He was the first person who made a Ballas set rise real high, he unified the Ballas sets with pacts, and created the Council of the Four Ballas sets, which he leads. Long story short, he is like a godfather at Ballas, he is a long time homie of Gerain, which makes Tyrell available to meet with him in the future.
EskayA Ballas O.G. from the Rollin' Heights Ballas set in Willowfield. He's the kind of guy, who takes care about those individuals - as a third person - who disturbs the Ballas' objectives. He's mysterious, he hates equivocate, but has a big power in his hands, even in those parts of the city which we wouldn't even believe. He has a lot of guns, even explosives, which he not afraid to give out to his goons, or use it himself.

 

MISSIONS

Chapter 1.: Living In The Streets


Mission's nameDifficulty
Before We Would Start It...Intro
Living In The Street Easy-Medium
Deathwishes Medium
Organized Confusion Medium-Hard
After Midnight Hard
Stick Up Kids is Out to Tax Medium
Just a Snippet of the Cake Easy
The Jigga Medium
Friday Night Live Easy
Let The Game Begin...Hard
Game, Set, Match.Outro

 

CREATOR'S NOTE

This is my first storyline. The inspiration of this storyline is, that there were no other story settled in San Andreas in the GTA III Era after San Andreas itself, so I decided to make a storyline which begins before the original game's story with a little, and after a little bit it will go ahead in parallel with the original story. Some of the missions are pretty hard, so I won't be angry if you dare to use cheat code. It's recommended to not to skip the cutscenes, and to use the newest version of DYOM. If you know any kind of bugs, or if you want to feedback, or you have a review about the storyline, if you got anything to say about the storyline, feel free to leave a post. I hope you guys will like it, have fun!

 

Changelog

v1.1 - A shorter intro mission made for easier progress saving.
v1.2 - Few bugs and other suspicious things fixed.
 

CLICK HERE FOR THE 1ST CHAPTER

CLICK HERE FOR THE 2ND CHAPTER


From yours truly: BK90's.


NexusUndead
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#2

Posted 03 February 2013 - 02:42 PM

Nice job on making the thread. Welcome and good luck on your storyline.

AnDReJ98
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#3

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:33 PM

Hey,welocme to the forum! It's like you've been here for longer time,cause when i see your theard and English,it's perfect! I only need to check out missions,i liked storylines very much in the past,now i'm thinking on doing it again,goodluck! icon14.gif

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#4

Posted 05 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

Hey man, liked it, played it. Here's an idea - can you implement the drive-by chase thing in Chapter 2? notify.gif

BK90s
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#5

Posted 05 February 2013 - 01:14 PM

I will definitely make a try to implement it, thanks for the feedback. wink.gif

Be Kowalski
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#6

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:36 PM

Damn, that's some good sh*t, man. smile.gif Even y'know how to use gangsta slang. tounge.gif Man, I fell in love in "Friday Night Live" mission. It's reminding me "The Hangover" movie. tounge.gif Kee it goin', bro!

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#7

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:59 AM

I still haven't done playing it but i want to give you feedback on it.
First of all, the topic is looking great, best i've seen from someone new. So let's get started:
You have exellent writing, you correctly used the slang terms, only thing i don't like is the use of () instead of : i know it's personal, but i really hate it when people use that. As for cutscenes, i feel you're abusing the Moving option, i'm sure it'll be alot better if they were static, just don't always use it exept for special circumstances. Anyway, the gameplay, for a Gangsta' theme is great, the use of the storyline feature is nice. The lenght of the missions is TOO LONG! Please don't make it always like that. For the story, one thing i always encounter in most MPs is that there isn't a good intro, i mean why are we playing with that guy? What made us do so? What happend to start an adventure?
All in all, this is a mission-pack that you can see that the author really did some hard-work.
For a new comer i'd give you 9/10
And even if you're not, know that my rating wouldn't be any lower than 7/10

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#8

Posted 08 February 2013 - 07:14 PM

QUOTE (Zizo008 @ Thursday, Feb 7 2013, 07:59)
I still haven't done playing it but i want to give you feedback on it.
First of all, the topic is looking great, best i've seen from someone new. So let's get started:
You have exellent writing, you correctly used the slang terms, only thing i don't like is the use of () instead of : i know it's personal, but i really hate it when people use that. As for cutscenes, i feel you're abusing the Moving option, i'm sure it'll be alot better if they were static, just don't always use it exept for special circumstances. Anyway, the gameplay, for a Gangsta' theme is great, the use of the storyline feature is nice. The lenght of the missions is TOO LONG! Please don't make it always like that. For the story, one thing i always encounter in most MPs is that there isn't a good intro, i mean why are we playing with that guy? What made us do so? What happend to start an adventure?
All in all, this is a mission-pack that you can see that the author really did some hard-work.
For a new comer i'd give you 9/10
And even if you're not, know that my rating wouldn't be any lower than 7/10

Look, no offense, but this guy did a spectacular job on making this MP. And the atmosphere of this misson pack is just great. The chars are just great. I felt like i was the Tyrell, so yeah. I'd give him 1000\10. The missions are fine, the length is like it should be, my only problem here, is that the Intro mission must be like a short cutscene. And when i had to load the storyline progress, i had to complete that long-ass mission. I was just frustrated at that.

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#9

Posted 08 February 2013 - 07:18 PM

You misunderstood me mate. I simply listed what should be improved, i was going to say "I may sound negative" but i thought the rating should speak for itself. By the way, i don't think 9/10 is a low rating, is it?

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#10

Posted 08 February 2013 - 07:24 PM Edited by Dude1, 08 February 2013 - 07:34 PM.

QUOTE (Zizo008 @ Friday, Feb 8 2013, 19:18)
You misunderstood me mate. I simply listed what should be improved, i was going to say "I may sound negative" but i thought the rating should speak for itself. By the way, i don't think 9/10 is a low rating, is it?

Nope, I understood you properly. I just think that the rating you gave, you know, could be a little mo' high . confused.gif
And BK90s, are you a rookie? Cuz' i don't think you design like a begginer.

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#11

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:26 PM

Seriously? How could 9/10 be low?

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#12

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:50 PM

I'm downloading it now. I like when a designer takes their time to write and think about the actual story. I'll provide feedback following my completion of the MP.

BK90s
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#13

Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

QUOTE (Dude1 @ Friday, Feb 8 2013, 19:24)
BK90s, are you a rookie? Cuz' i don't think you design like a begginer.

Oh damn, you make me get blushed. blush.gif biggrin.gif And to answer your question, yes, I'm a rookie, I just have some luck with that I started to design just a little before the release of the V7.

And for everyone else, thanks for your feedbacks, I try to do my best to make the next chapter meet with your expectations! smile.gif

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#14

Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (BK90s @ Saturday, Feb 9 2013, 10:39)
QUOTE (Dude1 @ Friday, Feb 8 2013, 19:24)
BK90s, are you a rookie? Cuz' i don't think you design like a begginer.

Oh damn, you make me get blushed. blush.gif biggrin.gif And to answer your question, yes, I'm a rookie, I just have some luck with that I started to design just a little before the release of the V7.

And for everyone else, thanks for your feedbacks, I try to do my best to make the next chapter meet with your expectations! smile.gif

Yeah, and remember - intro is suppost to be just cutscenes, nothing else, so we can skip it.

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#15

Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:59 PM

QUOTE (Dude1 @ Saturday, Feb 9 2013, 23:44)
Yeah, and remember - intro is suppost to be just cutscenes, nothing else, so we can skip it.

Many designers proved that it's wrong.

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#16

Posted 09 February 2013 - 06:09 PM

QUOTE (SatournFan @ Saturday, Feb 9 2013, 14:59)
QUOTE (Dude1 @ Saturday, Feb 9 2013, 23:44)
Yeah, and remember - intro is suppost to be just cutscenes, nothing else, so we can skip it.

Many designers proved that it's wrong.

What? What are you talking about? Well then, if you want a long intro, then just try to pass it every time you load the story line progress. See if you 'll be annoyed or no sneaky2.gif

Zizo.
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#17

Posted 09 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

Well you can do whatever you want in DYOM. I know it's annoying at times but one does not simply force his rules or what he likes onto people in DYOM.

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#18

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:58 AM

Chapter 1.: Living In The Streets

So I've just finished chapter 1 of your new Story-line: "The Flats". Seeing the reviews I thought I'd give the mission pack a shot. I must say that I'm impressed that you took the time to create a thorough story and dimensional characters. Tyrell is a like-able protagonist and his supporting crew make him that much better of a main character. The missions were good in length and detail. When I play missions or story lines I look for good writing, good storytelling, play-ability, and substance. Your story had all of the above. One couldn't tell that you've only recently begun designing missions. The flats offered a good serving of action, drama, and quality. Honestly I can't wait to see what chapter II has to offer.

Note: I did find it, a hassle after my game crashed and having to play the intro over. But once the intro is finished, one can continue from where they left off. I only experienced one crash and that's it. icon14.gif icon14.gif

BK90s
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#19

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:10 PM

And here's the proof for the fact that I'm a rookie. blush.gif Just found out how can you save your progress while you're on a storyline, and realized why you guys grumble about the intro. I'm begging for the apology of all of you guys, and because of this, I added a short intro to help loading your saved progress easier. smile.gif

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#20

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:36 PM Edited by Zizo008, 24 February 2013 - 05:40 PM.

QUOTE (BK90s @ Sunday, Feb 24 2013, 17:10)
And here's the proof for the fact that I'm a rookie. blush.gif Just found out how can you save your progress while you're on a storyline, and realized why you guys grumble about the intro. I'm begging for the apology of all of you guys, and because of this, I added a short intro to help loading your saved progress easier. smile.gif

Wait, you can save progress in a storyline?
That's a proof you're not a rookie. Your propably the best new designer this year, the topic presentation is perfect, you even added the [storyline] tag which clearly chose you want perfection, that you reached. You really shouldn't be begging for anything 'cuz it wasn't that big of a mistake.
But seriously, how do you save? I never explored the storyline feature, i'm going to soon.

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#21

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:49 PM

QUOTE (Zizo008 @ Sunday, Feb 24 2013, 17:36)
QUOTE (BK90s @ Sunday, Feb 24 2013, 17:10)
And here's the proof for the fact that I'm a rookie. blush.gif Just found out how can you save your progress while you're on a storyline, and realized why you guys grumble about the intro. I'm begging for the apology of all of you guys, and because of this, I added a short intro to help loading your saved progress easier. smile.gif

Wait, you can save progress in a storyline?
That's a proof you're not a rookie. Your propably the best new designer this year, the topic presentation is perfect, you even added the [storyline] tag which clearly chose you want perfection, that you reached. You really shouldn't be begging for anything 'cuz it wasn't that big of a mistake.
But seriously, how do you save? I never explored the storyline feature, i'm going to soon.

Y + N while not in mission.

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#22

Posted 16 March 2013 - 11:52 AM

I'm making the second chapter big time, but took a break to play the whole first chapter, and I've found a few bugs or suspicious things which needed to get settled. I immediately fixed it, tested it, so it's now all good, you can download it in the first post. smile.gif If some of y'all really waiting for the sequel, don't worry, it's in the making, it's gonna be great, and I won't stop doing it because this story made me get addicted so much that I must continue it! biggrin.gif

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#23

Posted 16 March 2013 - 12:05 PM

This looks interesting, I'm gonna try it soon. Expect a feedback mate.

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#24

Posted 16 March 2013 - 03:13 PM

I love that you add a little new intro/explanation. smile.gif

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#25

Posted 16 March 2013 - 03:37 PM

"And if someone has an unnecessary greencard to the USA, please! CONTACT ME!"

That maked me laugh. Poor guy. tounge.gif

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#26

Posted 29 March 2013 - 09:15 AM

For a "rookie", you are an amazing designer.

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#27

Posted 16 April 2013 - 06:08 PM

Juan-R began to make reviews about the first chapter. Shoutout for him!

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#28

Posted 17 April 2013 - 12:29 PM

Zizo Shouts for Juan-R's awesome video review!


To be honest, the first feedback i gave was misjudging and unfair. It's because i only played 2/3 missions at that time and i wasn't in a good mood. To compensate, i'm going to make you an overall review on Chapter 1: Living in The Streets , even though i'm not officially a DYOM Missions Reviewer.

Writing: Exellent No grammer mistakes found in this mission, only a few little typing mistakes. The use of the "Gangsta' slangs" is perfect and adds up to the characters personalities.

Presentation: Exellent The use of the storyline feature is great. The cutscenes and the environment are very detailed.

Length: Long Missions seemed a bit long. We play as Tyler, a young balla gang member. Who does different jobs for his gang and fellow friends. Ranging from simple robberies to assasinations.

Difficulty: Medium Mostly we're ordered to kill large groups of enemy gangs, especially the Ballas sworn enemy, The Grove Street Famillies. Missions can turn from easy to hard depending on the way you play.

Variety: Very Good Actors include Tyler, Gerain, T Down, Jigga, Kane and Balla, Vagos, Aztecas and Grove gang members. Weapons include M4, MP5, Micro SMGs, Desert Eagles, Snipers, shotguns. Vehicles include Gang cars such as Savanah, Tahoma, Voodoo, Majestic and alot more. There wasn't much use of objects since the missions rely on base environement.

Overall, this Chapter was very good, only thing that might annoy some of use is the length of the missions. It felt like playing GTA SA's storyline but from another viewpoint thanks to the storyline feature and the mission style. I suggest you tell us where we're going when driving before they start talking since it's a bit confusing. The story was real great and it felt canon to the real game, it would be cool if you add in more references in Chapter 2 like maybe we're the ones doing a drive-by on CJ's mom with the Green Sabre, or showing Big Smoke talking with Ballas.

Rating: 9/10


By Zizo008


Hope you like it BK90s . I know it may be a bit short. But that's only because i didn't go much on the details and it wasn't a mission-by-mission review. smile.gif

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#29

Posted 17 April 2013 - 12:53 PM

I'd give it a 10/10.

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#30

Posted 17 April 2013 - 01:04 PM

QUOTE (Chips237 @ Wednesday, Apr 17 2013, 13:53)
I'd give it a 10/10.

Well, i would like to. But the way i see it, if Codename: Zulu deserves a full rating, then only a select few of missions are good enough for a 10/10, know what i mean?
Still, 9/10 ain't a bad rating is it?




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