Late night bike ride
Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:27 PM
|QUOTE (Sauron @ Wednesday, Jan 30 2013, 19:45)|
|Clearly inspired by my impressive manoeuvre she attempts to launch a sweet air, but with the dark she didn't notice the roadworks sign and pops straight into a ditch. Of course it is all my fault. Her face is all bloody and she has a sore wrist. She starts screaming at me about not equipping the HighBeamer 3000 and how dangerous riding a bike at night is. I apologise profusely telling her about my love of night bike rides, but she won't listen and she turns around and cycles home, leaving me all alone and then it starts to rain. I've tried calling her several times today but she won't answer.|
HAHAHAHA, LOL LMAO!
Seriously mate, i feel sorry for you. Would hate to be you right now, LOL.
Posted 31 January 2013 - 02:56 PM
- If you successfully get back together with her, you can do things like whisper or yell out "HighBeamer 3000" and "Watch out for that ditch"when making out, cuddling and watching tv, and during lovemaking,
- Leave repeated messages on her phone using sound effects of bicycle wheels spinning. How quickly she changes her number indicates your level of success and that you're getting the response you want.
- Repeatedly send her manuals on cycling safety and road hazard safety in the mail and email. You can also plaster her car windshield with these or even get creative and send her flowers at work with these manuals in place of a card.
- If she has a lawn then litter it with all kinds of bicycle parts ranging from big to very small. This way she'll still be greeted with surprise reminders months later when walking in or mowing the grass.
- Collect hundreds of road construction signs and plant them all along her daily route to work or anywhere else she goes. The risk is high and the work is strenuous with this one, but the payoff is ten fold.
- Rent (or steal) a backhoe and recreate the ditch where the accident occurred in front of her home. You can choose to take it a lot further and fill the recreated ditch with HighBeamer 3000 lights to really drive your point home.
Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:18 PM
Edited by Sauron, 31 January 2013 - 08:27 PM.
Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:34 PM
|QUOTE (Xcommunicated @ Thursday, Jan 31 2013, 15:56)|
| I personally like to approach most quarrels and problems in life with rigorous passive-aggressive behavior. Here's a few ideas ranging from simple to absurd to get you started.|
Scrap my post, this is the chosen one!
Posted 01 February 2013 - 01:43 AM
Posted 01 February 2013 - 01:54 AM
|QUOTE (methods @ Thursday, Jan 31 2013, 21:42)|
You've already demonstrated value by proving how badass you are doing jumps on your bike. Next time you see her dunk a few knuckles in her plunderhole then let the rest of the system do its work.
The DENNIS System actually works.
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