Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:45 PM
Edited by Sauron, 31 January 2013 - 08:19 PM.
Last night I decided to go on a romantic bike ride with my girlfriend around sunset. We both popped on our helmets (safety first) and our Live Strong cycling jerseys and headed towards the beach. We arrived as the sun was sinking behind the sea, it was perfect, the sunset was breathtaking with a variety of colours on display, it was kind of like listening to My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion for the first time. My gal was clearly impressed and we held hands and talked about the clouds they were clearly Cumulus but she described them as pink clouds, girls... Anyway it was starting to get dark and we needed to make the ride home because we hadn't equipped our HighBeamer 3000 bike lights. As we are making the ride back I decide to impress my girl with my sweet bike moves. I pop off the curb and get like three feet of air, mind blown. Clearly inspired by my impressive manoeuvre she attempts to launch a sweet air, but with the dark she didn't notice the roadworks sign and pops straight into a ditch. Of course it is all my fault. Her face is all bloody and she has a sore wrist. She starts screaming at me about not equipping the HighBeamer 3000 and how dangerous riding a bike at night is. I apologise profusely telling her about my love of night bike rides, but she won't listen and she turns around and cycles home, leaving me all alone and then it starts to rain. I've tried calling her several times today but she won't answer. Do you guys have any advice on how I can win her back? I'm thinking about watching The Notebook to try and get some pointers because I am kind of embarrassed to talk to my friends about this... ***UPDATE***
Alright guys I took into consideration your replies and a lot of you seemed to think a gift or grand gesture would get me across the line. Despite your great advice I've found myself in quite the pickle and I'm in need of urgent help (again). Let me set the scene.
So I finally get my girl to answer her cellular phone and after a few quick pleasantries (she's still pissed) I convince her to let me make her dinner. Now my girl likes it hot, so I'm over at her place chopping some Dantes Peak style chilli while drinking a few Bud Light's. Anyway after a few brewski's we all know the feeling of natures tide and I was about to blow. So I'm making my assault on the toilet bowl when I start to feel a deep burn in my junk. f*ck! I forgot to wash my hands. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom with a mean case of fire crotch. Anyone know any quick remedies I can find in the bathroom to apply to my junk to get the burn away? I might be able to make a quick raid on the house without my girl getting too suspicious, but I'm trying to keep movement to a minimum while my nether regions feel as though they are cooking in the flames of Mt. Doom.
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