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Drunk stories

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NikoGTA4
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#1

Posted 18 November 2012 - 07:59 PM


Basicly just post your stories involving you under the influence of the blessed alcohol.

For me, at my 18th birthday I went to the bar with a few friends and boy, I was probably the drunkest I've ever been. I wasn't sick or anything, it simply was a blackout for me.
Started drinking at 11PM and by 2AM I had lost all my inhibitions. We went to a 24 hour restaurant and I asked for a pizza. The second the guy went to make it, I forgot what I asked for. Then I thought I heard a guy I know in the restaurant and I asked everybody in there "Have you seen Louis, Do you know Louis". Then I went to the bathroom like 6 times only to find out that it was locked everytime, so I pissed outside, by the window, infront of everybody. One time when I came back from pissing, I was searching my friends in the restaurant because I thought they had changed places just the f*ck with me but they hadn't. Then the pizza arrived. I was told that I was eating like a pig, and when I finished eating it, I didn't remember what I ate. When I went to pay it, I didn't even remember eating at all.
When one of my friend showed me the videos he filmed, I couldn't believe it. I didn't recognise me at all.
When you get drunk at that level, it's like if you lose your intelligence and the only thing you have left is your instinct, or the most basic form of intelligence.


One other time, I came home from a bar. I went to my bathroom and started vomiting like a crazy. I fell asleep on the floor and my mom found me there, I stood up to go to my bed, missed the door frame and knocked my face on the wall. As I've been told by me mom, I was trying to walk up the stairs normally to show her I wasn't drunk, but I was failing miserably to make her believe that. The next morning I was still drunk, and I woke up in a vomit stained bed and the worst alcohol smell in my room.


Oh and also in high school, we had like a "before prom" which is like a few days before the real prom and it is in the middle of the week, so the main goal is to arrive sh*t faced the next morning at school. If there was a price, I probably would have won it. Out of probably 150 people I was the drunkest, something which I'm not really proud because I projected an alcoholic image of myself to some people, like acting like an idiot in front of the girl I liked. In fact the party was in the woods which was a great place, but still I didn't remember anything the next morning. That morning was the hardest wake up of my life. sh*t faced at 7AM, the worst headache, alcohol breath, completely dehydrated... People could tell I was still drunk at school.

Harley
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#2

Posted 18 November 2012 - 08:19 PM

you're not very good at alcohol.

Sup3rman
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#3

Posted 18 November 2012 - 08:37 PM

Indeed weird, i don't have any stories with alcohol, because alcohol doesnt affect me really. I don't really get drunk or anything, i dont have these memory blanks or whatever. I could even drive a car i think under the influence of alcohol, becuase i dont even go out of balance when im "drunk". I havent tried it because just in case dont want to wreck a car.
Anyway, i get tired before i get drunk mostly. Also, when i drink, i just drink and dont f*ck about.

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#4

Posted 18 November 2012 - 08:38 PM

The first time I got drunk, I was 16 years old. I went to the local graveyard with some friends. I'd been smoking weed almost literally all day. We went to, what I guess would be considered the corner of the place, and started getting f*cked up. I'm a lightweight, thanks dad! and after eight sips of some kind of vodka, I was stumbling and needed to be dragged by my drunk buddies to the impending football game. We get there, two of us manage to sneak in, and I hoist the least drunk of us over a fence so he can get in. That leaves me as the one on the outside.

It's all a blur around here, but I remember some things. I got in by blending in with a crowd, found my girlfriend at the time there and made out with her, passed out during that, and she found my friends. They apparently dragged me to another fence and let me rest there. I was in and out of consciousness when they grabbed me and pulled me back up to my feet. The cops busted some other teenagers for drinking and now they were looking around for others. We nonchalantly stumbled out of the game and went back to one of their houses. The last thing I remember is going into his basement and taking one of the biggest bong ever, then passing out for the night. I guess they all did the same a couple minutes later.

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#5

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:15 PM

Sold my car to my mate we went out clubbing and I had the keys on me. I get home at 2 am realise ive lost the only set of keys while out clubbing. Ring my mate that we gotta go back out and retrace my steps. 4 hour journey by foot all round my town and surrounding villages no luck. Get back home all hope lost find the keys were in my pocket all along fml.

There was the other time when I tried to beat up a bush. The bush won.

Law0070
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#6

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:17 PM

Alcohol and me...we have a good relationship, the times it turned out bad..well, I can count those on one hand I guess ("turned out bad" = vomit)

funny thing is, the time i was most drunk (had quite a lot of beers) i didn't vomit, I only arrived home at 'bout 4, after making a detour of 8 km (originally had to bike in a straight line home, approx 3 km, I was in the town next of my hometown, ended up riding though 4 towns, getting stopped by the police ("are you drunk?", -"ghaaarhhg ehhhrhrh mahbe..." - "just walk home and it's ok, leave the bike on your side" <- didn't do that) and getting redirected to the right place tounge.gif woke up naked, completely blacked out in my bed at 1pm, pants was torn, lost my backlight from my bike and my bike's standard...but it was a good night, i think tounge.gif


the times i vomited were usually due to mixing, or plain excessive alcohol (always beer, don't trust myself with vodka etc)


of course there are some "tricks" me and my friends use to deal with negative effects from alcohol or to prevent extreme drunkness...eating fat food BEFORE you go to the pub (not after...Derp) usually helps (mcdo, lasagna...)



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#7

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:22 PM

In the early 70s I owned an MG 1100.
I parked in front of a bar & grill while I went into a store next door.
When I came out four drunks were looking it over and making snide remarks.
After I got in they grabbed the rear bumper and lifted the rear of the car off the ground.
Imagine their suprise as I drove off.
Front wheel drive cars were nearly unknown in those days.

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#8

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:25 PM

hanging out a few weeks back a girl brought a bottle of smirnoff and had half of it.
sh*t was hilarious when she jumped into a lake and lost her brand new iPhone biggrin.gif

NikoGTA4
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#9

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:28 PM

QUOTE (Harley @ Sunday, Nov 18 2012, 15:19)
you're not very good at alcohol.

Nah it's not always like that don't worry. These are the worst stories. I'm usually a good drinker.

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#10

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:36 PM

I honestly have several hundred drunk stories, most recent one is from Friday, I'll keep it real .
After cops broke up a house party I went with a mate and wondered between a few places, ended up at a drug house and some guy was being stupid with a knife so I asked my mate where he lived and left, never been to his house, got there, rang the twisting door bell (old old house), no answer, I got Rug from his porch and climbed under and went to sleep. Half an hour later his sister came out and asked me what I was doing and mentioned her brother called to say I was coming...she didn't expect me under the rug though.
I replied "it was cold, I had to rug up."
She laughed "come inside".
She put me to bed and that was that, it was a little embarrassing the next morning because she's pretty hot, but it's a funny enough story haha.

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#11

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:36 PM Edited by GTA-King, 18 November 2012 - 09:41 PM.

QUOTE (Harley @ Sunday, Nov 18 2012, 20:19)
you're not very good at alcohol.

lol.gif

I think the drunkest I've ever been would have to be at my friend's graduation party. I just felt like getting totally sh*t faced, because I had reached an important milestone in my life... graduating.

Anyway, I started the night out drinking Millers. After my 5th one, I started playing pool in the garage with some of my friends. Couple hours go by, then we decide to go sit by the bonfire with everyone else at the party. Pretty much everyone was sh*t faced, so I thought I'd try and catch up. After finishing my 12 pack of Miller, I ATTEMPTED to make smores... didn't turn out so good, but it was edible... lol. After that, my friend's dad had some vodka he wanted to share with us, so we took a few shots... and boy was I jacked! Shortly after that, my friend grabbed some bottle rockets out of his room, and we had a war with them outside. So f*cking fun. At one point, a rocket flew right past my head, so I rolled as another rocket flew over me. It was like the Matrix. Everyone got a kick out of that.

After that, I threw up in the woods, and somehow made it back to the bonfire. I was talking to this kid I've never met in my life about the galaxy, and life on other planets. We shared a 6 pack of Budlight. Eventually, he stumbled off and it was just me and some other guy that was passed out by the bonfire. I thought it would be a good idea to try and count the stars in the sky. So I looked up and started counting. I kept leaning my head back while counting, and eventually fell backwards off the chair and passed out. The only things I remember after that were shooting a bottle rocket out of my mouth, and almost breaking my neck on the trampoline. I woke up on the living room floor.

Easily one of the best nights of my life. icon14.gif

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#12

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:39 PM

QUOTE (Law0070 @ Sunday, Nov 18 2012, 21:17)
(always beer, don't trust myself with vodka etc)

Vodka is bad news... lol.gif

Outside the building where my cousin's wedding due was taking place I drank a raw half bottle of Vodka very quickly (during one of my first times drinking mind you, and I'd had a lock of Beer and Skittle Bombs before hand). We were tipping picnic tables up over the street, jumping from table to table inside the bar, climbing trees.....

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#13

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

Well damn yesterday I got drunk and right now I'm still hungover. I've got this chest pain around my heart...
Yesterday I tried the test of saying the alphabet while trying to walk on a straight line. I couldn't say "L-M-N-O-P" correctly.

I hate hangovers....

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#14

Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:02 PM

Well, my next door neighbour is kind of uptight. I don't like the guy, he's also hyper-religious which is a major turn-off. But one day, I'm on the roof with my son and he comes over and asks to talk. He tells me that he's impressed with my ability to live life on the edge and wants some advice.
I don't really turn up to work much so it was no problem to just take my neighbour and head out to Las Vegas on a spur-of-the-moment road trip. So, we go to Caesar's Palace or some sh*t and are just getting bladdered, I mean, totally pissed. My neighbour lost all his money on the roulette table by betting on numbers he remembered from f*cking Bible verses and then we met these two cocktail waitresses.
Turns out alcohol makes you stupid, because we ended up marrying these lovely ladies and my neighbour had to make up a story about being gang-raped by aliens to square the whole deal with his first wife.
I just forgot about the whole thing until right now.

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#15

Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:19 PM

The craziest sh*t I went through was back in 2009 when me and a friend got to visit my cousin in the hospital, everything wen't smooth and the visit was over, so we had to take our supplies and leave...
It was midnight and while waiting for our bus we started combining some vodka with energy drinks, after hour and a half the bus was nowhere to be found, so we decided to walk back to the hotel. (which was no that far anyway, but we were hammered)
Next to the bus stop was a small farm, we 'crawled' over the fence and started laughing at the cows in the stable, when we finally got enough of that we started pushing it out of the stable (yes, we were that stupid). So we were standing in the middle of the road on a cow which had no plans of moving. But we had some team work and eventually got to the hotel in one piece, the biggest problem was that we were 3 instead of 2.
We 'parked' the cow outside and went in to continue our drinking contest, in the morning when I got out the cow was missing, we figured it out that got back to his owner (I hope?)

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#16

Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:21 PM

QUOTE (Typhus @ Sunday, Nov 18 2012, 17:02)
Well, my next door neighbour is kind of uptight. I don't like the guy, he's also hyper-religious which is a major turn-off. But one day, I'm on the roof with my son and he comes over and asks to talk. He tells me that he's impressed with my ability to live life on the edge and wants some advice.
I don't really turn up to work much so it was no problem to just take my neighbour and head out to Las Vegas on a spur-of-the-moment road trip. So, we go to Caesar's Palace or some sh*t and are just getting bladdered, I mean, totally pissed. My neighbour lost all his money on the roulette table by betting on numbers he remembered from f*cking Bible verses and then we met these two cocktail waitresses.
Turns out alcohol makes you stupid, because we ended up marrying these lovely ladies and my neighbour had to make up a story about being gang-raped by aliens to square the whole deal with his first wife.
I just forgot about the whole thing until right now.

I see what you did there Homer.... nice one haha

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#17

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:18 AM

I once confirmed that you can't do that movie style crawl out a window 15 stories up and shimmy across the ledge along the outside of the building 'thing'. Well...you can't do it drunk at least. You can get out there, but somehow your legs are sober enough to not let you fully extend, let alone lift a foot off of the ledge.

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#18

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:27 AM

Eh last weekend I got drunk just drinking beer which is weird because normally I hate beer and only drink spirits.

I remember walking around like a zombie yet from all I drunk I never woke up with a hangover.

Anyway there was this one time when I was 15 and at my year 10 formal after party (2001) I was so drunk I picked a fight with a tree stump, fell into a barbwire fence and was sick for about a week.

Good times they were. ph34r.gif

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#19

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:40 AM

I don't drink. It clouds the mind and makes men stupid. I prefer runs at dawn.

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#20

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:41 AM

I enjoy drinking just just as much as the next person, but I hardly ever get drunk anymore though. I just don't see the point. Perhaps it has something to do with watching the paramedics spend half an hour trying to resuscitate a dead kid I found while working who was drunk and suffocated himself in his own vomit in his sleep. I dunno.

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#21

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:56 AM

QUOTE (Sup3rman @ Sunday, Nov 18 2012, 20:37)
Indeed weird, i don't have any stories with alcohol, because alcohol doesnt affect me really. I don't really get drunk or anything, i dont have these memory blanks or whatever. I could even drive a car i think under the influence of alcohol, becuase i dont even go out of balance when im "drunk". I havent tried it because just in case dont want to wreck a car.
Anyway, i get tired before i get drunk mostly. Also, when i drink, i just drink and dont f*ck about.

You're not magic buddy, alcohol will effect you the same it does with anyone else, you probably just drink less. I for one black out easily so when I really am far too drunk I usually don't get any good stories out of it, I mean I have some but they mostly reflect poorly on me.

Finn 7 five 11
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#22

Posted 21 November 2012 - 05:26 AM

QUOTE (Mike Tequeli @ Wednesday, Nov 21 2012, 15:56)
QUOTE (Sup3rman @ Sunday, Nov 18 2012, 20:37)
Indeed weird, i don't have any stories with alcohol, because alcohol doesnt affect me really. I don't really get drunk or anything, i dont have these memory blanks or whatever. I could even drive a car i think under the influence of alcohol, becuase i dont even go out of balance when im "drunk". I havent tried it because just in case dont want to wreck a car.
Anyway, i get tired before i get drunk mostly. Also, when i drink, i just drink and dont f*ck about.

You're not magic buddy, alcohol will effect you the same it does with anyone else, you probably just drink less. I for one black out easily so when I really am far too drunk I usually don't get any good stories out of it, I mean I have some but they mostly reflect poorly on me.

Well now i know that sup3rman is a complete bullsh*t artist, I somehow missed the post on first reading.

Lol on Sunday at the pub I said the funniest thing, we were leaving and all my mates were smoking, one offered me one and I Said:
"I just realized, I don't even need to smoke because all you guys do."

Tequili, why not share? It's the internet, who gives a f*ck what people think? I come here and say stupid sh*t until I get shown to be wrong, then I am better for it. C'mon!

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#23

Posted 21 November 2012 - 06:29 AM

Heres a recent one.

Got really baked one evening, we all got bored and decided to hitup downtown. Everyone abruptly left while I was taking a bong toke. I raided the fridge and drank a 6 pack to myself and made a sandwich. Found out where everyone was and I took a cab there. Met my friends but they had some ladies with them that they just met. I was drunk by then and waayy too happy. I bought people shots, even strangers who I thought were "cool". I started flirting with one of the girls and we ended up at her friends house. We had a room to ourselves. We kept doing shots and kissing and stuff like that. She took a piss break and I stood up, instantly fell over onto the table. Heavy breathing, heart pounding, heart racing but I was smiling. I was soo drunk. I then proceeded to vomit outside the bedroom window. We cuddled in bed and she wanted to f*ck, but I was just too far gone. I spent that morning projectile vomiting all over the sink and toilet.

Control your consumption people and remember that its not a contest

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#24

Posted 21 November 2012 - 07:36 AM

I prefer weed over alcohol anytime.
Getting drunk was three years ago. We did drink beer before that but the first time getting drunk was with dry gin.

Neat shots of dry gin: The hot liquid passing through the food pipe and settling in the stomach was funny to experience. After having 4-5 such shots, I wanted to get drunk.

My friend filled a mug and squeezed two lemons in it. I drank it at once then through the bottle then sucked another lemon. It was so much fun. I told my friends that it was fun but I felt nothing like drunk.

So this all time asshole friend tells me to have a ride in the merry go round. It was 2am. We go down his apartment and I notice how I'm faltering at walking and thinking. I go to the playground, sit on the merry go round and once it got started, the world started spinning.

I ask him to stop after 2 minutes or so. By the time I climb out, other friends come to accompany us. A friend mocks me by challenging me to run a race with him. I get so easily provoked, I abuse him and call him on for the race. I run real fast but another friend puts a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I crash on the friend holding the half empty bottle and it falls.

Wooho! No one gets to get drunk except me. I start apologising. I abuse. I was in no control of my words as if on auto-pilot.

We walk out of the premises of his building as I was getting louder. Out on the road, we sit and have a smoke and everyone is having fun conversing with me. When I hear a car coming, I freak out saying that the cops would arrest me and when the car passes by, I abuse the hell out of them at the top of my voice.

Soon, I got nauseous. I puke and for once I even fell on my not so good looking slime. I felt so gross when they told me this the next morning. My friends were all f*cked up lol.

They managed to pull me while I was half passed out. I blacked out in the elevator while apologizing to a friend.
When I wake up the next morning, I'm wearing clothes which are not mine. Not even my (too embarrassing) underwear lasted with me through the night.

Never got drunk again. Getting high is way better.

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#25

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:37 AM

I hate the blackouts man.
I tend to have them when I get very drunk. I'm scared as hell to make a fool of myself and not remembering it. I hate getting to the point of not being concious of what's around me. That's even worse if I am drunk and then I smoke weed. It makes my head spin.

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#26

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:57 PM

I once fell straight backwards into a wooden support pole in my friend's basement. It had an outlet on the bottom with a nightlight in it. My head smashed and shattered the nightlight and there was glass everywhere. I didn't feel a thing. Southern Comfort f*cks you up.

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#27

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:07 PM

QUOTE (m8son @ Thursday, Nov 22 2012, 20:57)
I once fell straight backwards into a wooden support pole in my friend's basement. It had an outlet on the bottom with a nightlight in it. My head smashed and shattered the nightlight and there was glass everywhere.

Good night, then? biggrin.gif

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#28

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

the last time i was really drunk I woke up in a puddle of puke with pieces of my door around me while spooning my guitar, that's literally all i can remember, made me learn to stay away from Vodka.

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#29

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:09 PM

I got the drunkest I've ever been for my 20th birthday. I stood outside Subway at midnight and slurred demandingly delicately articulated that I wanted some fries, then my friend brought me some and I threw them on the floor and demanded a burger instead. After that I attempted to get back inside the club, but I was rejected and at only 12.30 my friends took me home in a taxi then had to carry me inside my house. I was desperate to stay out and tried my best to resist by hanging onto my garden fence and then the door frame of the front door but I was eventually overpowered and conceded defeat.

Then my dad and sister helped me upstairs and undressed me, and I ended up puking all over myself on the toilet. So they had to shower me to get the vomit off me, which meant that they had to get me nekkid and see my hairy buttocks and of course, my penis. They were so traumatised, the doctor mentioned "A hybrid of Gulf War syndrome and shell shock" or something like that. I was a mess at that point though and thankfully didn't remember that part. Then they got me into bed and all was well. Until I woke up in the night and mistook my lovely leather office chair for the toilet, and gave it a golden shower.


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#30

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:14 PM

It was on some Friday night, 2008. My cousin called me to invite me for a bowling game. But instead, I decided to drive us to an old European bar that some yokel used to own. I don't remember how much of vodka I drank. But we were so drunk we literally didn't know how to walk. I drove my cousin back to his Taxi depot. And suddenly, I wasn't drunk at all.

Crazy night.




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