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Kids are dating too young

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BRITLAND
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#1

Posted 12 August 2012 - 02:43 PM

I found this article of 2 primary school students caught making out in a carpark last September
http://www.edvantage...in_carpark.html

But today, kids are longing to have boyfriends and girlfriends. You go onto any primary school playground, and you will find a "couple" holding hands or kissing behind some building and even french kissing when school closes for the day. They are considered cool and very popular by all of the other students because of this "cute" relationship they have with each other.

I used to witness this at my own primary school. It was the talk of the playground. Everyone was shocked to find out that this girl or this guy was "going out" with so and so. I generally tend to be an open-minded person about most things, and I realize that kids at this age are experimenting and attempting to get a peak at adolescence and the world of dating. Yet, I think at this age, dating is overrated and misunderstood, and kids should just stick to being kids.

Whatever happened to the simple pleasures of running around with your friends, games like jump rope, hand clapping games, and tag? It seems instead of looking for fun in these kinds of childhood activities, they are looking in other areas such as dating to occupy and feel good about themselves.

And what do they do as couples anyway? At this age, they do not even understand what dating or a true relationship is. They consider walking around on the playground together and giving each other an occasional phone call or instant message "going out."

I am not trying to sound like an old grump complaining about "kids nowadays," but I do wonder why they have such an interest in it and the effect that it must have on them.

All dating creates at this age is a false sense of maturity. It can also lead to feelings of self-consciousness and an overdone attempt to portray a certain type of appearance and personality to peers. Those dating at this age are bound to overachieve, because it just comes with the territory. If a kid has decided in their mind that he or she is ready to date, then he or she is most likely the kind of person to try much harder than others their age to look a certain way, such as the way they dress or make use of unnecessary and age inappropriate makeup.

I believe that kids are trying too hard to be adults and more mature than they should be at their age level. Yea sure, primary school kids can be very immature, but so what! That's why they are kids! It is a part of who they are at this stage of life. So they should enjoy being immature, enjoy running around with their friends on the playground and having innocent fun. It is about time kids start being kids and leaving the adult stuff up to the adults.

What are your Thoughts?

General Goose
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#2

Posted 12 August 2012 - 02:57 PM

Yeah, I agree with you in the sense that it is kids just pretending to be older than they are, trying to act with a sense of maturity and understanding about relationships that you just can't have before your teenage years, let alone before your adult years. However, it's nothing to worry about. These sorts of relationships rarely cause problems. I remember a few such couples in my primary school; no couple lasted more than a few months.

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#3

Posted 12 August 2012 - 03:43 PM

Agreed.

When I was at primary school there were always like 5 douchebags "mourning" over their loss.
Whenever I wanted to play tag, there were kids going "oh no but I really wanted her waaah boo hoo" then the next day they are "going out" with someone else.

I never even kept up with this system, didn't care who was "dating" who.
For that reason I was left out.
WTF is wrong with being normal nowadays?

Whenever people cried about this crap I just walked past and laughed and got a sh*tstorm of "concerned girlfriends" going 'WHY ARE U LAUGHING AT BRADLEYCHAD MCDOUCHE HE'S MY LIFE I RELY ON HIM WAAAH WAAAH".

Looking back, it's f*cking hilarious.

sivispacem
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#4

Posted 12 August 2012 - 04:29 PM

Um, might I mention that three or four hundred years ago, people were married with children within about 12-18 months of a woman (or, more accurately, a girl) beginning to menstruate?

BRITLAND
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#5

Posted 12 August 2012 - 05:09 PM

QUOTE (General Goose @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 14:57)
Yeah, I agree with you in the sense that it is kids just pretending to be older than they are, trying to act with a sense of maturity and understanding about relationships that you just can't have before your teenage years, let alone before your adult years. However, it's nothing to worry about. These sorts of relationships rarely cause problems. I remember a few such couples in my primary school; no couple lasted more than a few months.

fare enough but at my primary school everytime i left and this was about P4-P7 when we left to go home you saw couples that age french kissing, thats really disturbing in my view, also did you click the link? The two kids nibbling at each others ears then hugged & kissed for 10 mins? they have a pic of the boy with the girl on his lap!

General Goose
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#6

Posted 12 August 2012 - 05:25 PM

Eh, that sh*t happens with some kids, they wanna try doing things they don't get the significance of. It happens, and as sivispacem mentioned, at least our society no longer encourages, forces or condones kids into serious relationships at young ages. Nothing we can do to prevent some kids from trying things like that except for common-sense things like good parenting and good education.

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#7

Posted 12 August 2012 - 08:51 PM

I agree, even though i'm still a teenager myself.
Kids in my school who had "girlfriends" had "SWAG" (God so f*cking annoying, SWAG)
The relation always seems fake, like they aren't really loving each other.
Like in my school, bad kids also made the other kid do stupid things.
Like, be with the cool kids, smoke weed or drink alcohol. So they started doing this during the relation, and once its over (Which usually is in like 1 month)
The one kid is addicted to smoke or smoking weed (I'm aware of it that weed has no addictive stuff, but still. Kids keep doing it)

Back when i was 11, there was this very active playful kid i knew, and one day he had a relation.
But ofc in a relation, you need to be together on the playground, so the guy became boring and dint play with any of the other guys anymore because his girl couldn't accept the fact he wanted to play tag or anything else.

Well thats my opinion, i think relations in school for kids from 8-16 is pretty fake and stupid.

[Sorry if my spelling is horrible x) ]

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#8

Posted 13 August 2012 - 02:03 AM Edited by sivispacem, 13 August 2012 - 07:12 AM.

I had the exact same problem in grades one and four. Those were sh*tty days indeed.

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#9

Posted 13 August 2012 - 06:34 AM

Oh my god they're making out. OH THE HORROR!

So f*ckin' what? Kids trying to act like they're older than they really are. What else is new?
Also what sivispacem said. That sh*t was the norm throughout most of human history. Notable exceptions are Sparta and Egypt. Spartans didn't even get married until they were 30 years old, and Egyptians could do whatever the f*ck they wanted because their parents didn't have a lot of control over their children.

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#10

Posted 13 August 2012 - 07:21 AM

I disagree.
Kids have been trying to act more mature since the dawn of time, what kid doesn't wanna be grown up?

I remember when i was 7 i had a "girlfriend" basically she told me "You're my boyfriend now" and we would exchange pecks on the cheek, that was about it, it didn't mean anything obviously, and no harm came from it, just some fun, i didn't become a womaniser, i didn't have self-conscious issues, and i had another when i was about 10, similar sort of thing, we hung out a little exchange some light kisses on the cheek.

There will always be kids who mature and/or hit puberty earlier than others and will be interested in exploring this aspect of life, it's purely experimental and fun, it is no big deal. What's the difference between a 10 year old that has a light moustache growing and acts like 13 year old and has a girlfriend, to a 13 year old the same distance through puberty and of the same maturity level?

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#11

Posted 13 August 2012 - 07:23 AM

...we were bragging about finger banging in grade school. In the 80s.

There is a pervasive mentality that the yesteryears were chaste. This is ignorance and hogwash at best; concentrated whitewashing of history at worst.

To add to sivi's statement above, I'd mention that, right up until the 40s and 50s, this sort of 'too young to...' was unheard of. 13 year old boys had fulltime jobs in the mine and babies were having babies before it ever became a meme.

As always, I blame widespread fundamentalist religion for rearing it's ugly head after the war. wink.gif

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#12

Posted 13 August 2012 - 11:05 AM

I don't see it anything to worry about. Maybe the hooking-up, but probably 80% of primary school relationships wouldn't even say 'hi' to each other. LOL!

I remember a thing called 'girl germs'. Maybe a small kiss and a hug by a few relationships. That was the news of the school. The good old days.

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#13

Posted 14 August 2012 - 06:17 AM

Society's watchdogs have been perverting natural selection for years.
Did Jesus mommy (age presumed to be 12) avoid being stoned to death for adultry by claiming devine intervention?
Humans have an attraction to the opposite sex for centuries.
Before there was 'sex education' and 'health science' to inform kiddies of the birds and the bees the cuddling and touchy-feely was the way it was done.
Why is it that kids go 'Yuch' and girl's have cooties? And, then suddenly one day the boy's can't get close enough.
It's Natural, until adults get involved. It comes down tribal morals. You believe what you're told, or you rebel and leave the tribe.

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#14

Posted 14 August 2012 - 10:58 AM

So, I'm not sure what your point was, but was it basically "oh, things were better when we let kids mess around with themselves and find things out on their own"? If so, I don't think that message should apply to sex ed.

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#15

Posted 18 August 2012 - 04:05 PM

Admittedly, it's a bit odd to see twelve year olds making out, but what questions - or answers - is this article raising? Is the media too sexualised? Are kids losing their virginity too young and it's having negative effects on their future interpersonal relationships? Is this all this hot preteen tongue lashing speeding up the spread of some kind of freak mouth virus? What are we supposed to be discussing here?

QUOTE
Whatever happened to the simple pleasures of running around with your friends, games like jump rope, hand clapping games, and tag?


hahaha okay they're obviously not seven.

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#16

Posted 18 August 2012 - 04:18 PM

I'm 12 in 24 days, and I've never dated, nor spoke to a girl.. nor actually had any "Real-life" friends, I never went to school so I just sit in the house all day on the computer (except when I have to do home-work and to go shopping, always with my parents. Never go outside by myself, my parents (well, my mum) is over protective.)
And that's been my life so far, yeah.

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#17

Posted 18 August 2012 - 04:21 PM

QUOTE (ManDog @ Sunday, Aug 19 2012, 02:18)
I'm 12 in 24 days, and I've never dated, nor spoke to a girl.. nor actually had any "Real-life" friends, I never went to school so I just sit in the house all day on the computer (except when I have to do home-work and to go shopping, always with my parents. Never go outside by myself, my parents (well, my mum) is over protective.)
And that's been my life so far, yeah.

sh*t bro, intense.

12 year olds making out doesn't seem so bad by comparison. Shifty41s_beerhatsmilie2.gif

sivispacem
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#18

Posted 18 August 2012 - 04:23 PM

QUOTE (ManDog @ Saturday, Aug 18 2012, 17:18)
I'm 12 in 24 days, and I've never dated, nor spoke to a girl.. nor actually had any "Real-life" friends, I never went to school so I just sit in the house all day on the computer (except when I have to do home-work and to go shopping, always with my parents. Never go outside by myself, my parents (well, my mum) is over protective.)
And that's been my life so far, yeah.

This is not General Chat. If you want idle banter, please go there.

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#19

Posted 18 August 2012 - 04:33 PM

QUOTE (sivispacem @ Sunday, Aug 19 2012, 02:23)
QUOTE (ManDog @ Saturday, Aug 18 2012, 17:18)
I'm 12 in 24 days, and I've never dated, nor spoke to a girl.. nor actually had any "Real-life" friends, I never went to school so I just sit in the house all day on the computer (except when I have to do home-work and to go shopping, always with my parents. Never go outside by myself, my parents (well, my mum) is over protective.)
And that's been my life so far, yeah.

This is not General Chat. If you want idle banter, please go there.

I think his point was that this topic has an undertone of "kids get away with too much these days, parents are so lazy blah blah blah". I think the OP was contending that kids are treated like adults far too early, and ManDog was pointing out that the inverse can be much more damaging. Or maybe it was just idle chit chat. I don't know, he's like, 11. Shifty41s_beerhatsmilie2.gif

But yeah, "KIDS OF UNDETERMINED AGE CAUGHT MAKING OUT" is a bit of a stupid headline, and not very good fodder for a political discussion. What are we meant to be talking about here?

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#20

Posted 25 August 2012 - 10:11 AM Edited by oysterbarron, 25 August 2012 - 10:14 AM.

It's funny you should say that but i was doing normal things in the playground when i fell for my first serious girlfriend at age 9. We were together for 4 years after that and she taught me alot about the birds and the bees she was much more experienced than me in relationships. We both never wanted to be parted. Experimetation is a part of growing up and it saddens me some of you haven't experienced it yet. Most of the things you mention in the op have never effected me either.

I might add that was 18 years ago for me so its not a recent thing.

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#21

Posted 25 August 2012 - 04:05 PM Edited by sivispacem, 25 August 2012 - 04:20 PM.

They are just insanes.Love is one thing but doing such kind of stuffs is totally stupid things which these guys do in public.

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#22

Posted 25 August 2012 - 10:25 PM

QUOTE (BRITLAND @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 07:43)
I am not trying to sound like an old grump complaining about "kids nowadays," but I do wonder why they have such an interest in it and the effect that it must have on them.

I think this topic is dumb and the quote above shows exactly why that is.

do you really "wonder" why kids have an interest in intimacy?
perhaps it's because such an interest is completely natural and is nothing new.

as Sivis already pointed out, kids today are actually engaging in intimacy at a LATER age than they did historically.
hundreds and/or thousands of years ago the average human life expectancy was barely 40-something years old. people who made it to 50 or 60 were rare and ANCIENT.

children were married off the moment they reached puberty.
you get a girl who starts bleeding and a boy whose hair starts to sprout out of his chin and the families arrange for a union. the only difference between then and now is that we don't officially marry kids. we let them run around and explore their hormones a little. not every kid is going to do this either. some are more bold than others, but this basically just comes back to the parents.

the environment that the child is raised in will have a huge effect on their behavior in this regard.
there's a reason why most female strippers and male prostitutes come from "broken" homes. it's the same reason why most teenage pregnancies occur amongst lower-income/less educated families.

but kids "dating too young" is not an issue.
it's completely normal. it doesn't necessarily have any bearing on what happens to them later in life.

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#23

Posted 26 August 2012 - 02:25 PM

QUOTE (LazyboyEight @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 21:13)
Agreed.

When I was at primary school there were always like 5 douchebags "mourning" over their loss.
Whenever I wanted to play tag, there were kids going "oh no but I really wanted her waaah boo hoo" then the next day they are "going out" with someone else.

I never even kept up with this system, didn't care who was "dating" who.
For that reason I was left out.
WTF is wrong with being normal nowadays?

Whenever people cried about this crap I just walked past and laughed and got a sh*tstorm of "concerned girlfriends" going 'WHY ARE U LAUGHING AT BRADLEYCHAD MCDOUCHE HE'S MY LIFE I RELY ON HIM WAAAH WAAAH".

Looking back, it's f*cking hilarious.

What is normal?

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#24

Posted 26 August 2012 - 07:28 PM

I remember my first boyfriend! Gosh many moon ago - he's now straight, but we have to discover ourselves somewhere - and I had a girlfriend

And are kids growing up too fast or are you just noticing it more because it's slammed on Facebook almost immediately?

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#25

Posted 30 August 2012 - 05:49 AM

There are these two kids who I believe are (still) going out.
The girl used to slap me around to get attention some ugly Puerto Rican chick. Sh#t you should see her eyes she looks like she's stoned. And the other kid tries to be a hard-a*s as if he is the living Mike Tyson..
I hated them they always held hands kissed etc as if they wanted to show off.

My sister's friend had a boyfriend who never spoke to eachother outside of school. They were on and off for weeks. These kids just like to show seeing as they don't have a relationship outside of the school.

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#26

Posted 02 September 2012 - 09:07 AM

Man, kids are having sex to young these days. I remember back in the day when I was in grade 8, just kissing a girl you felt like a badass. Now, kids are sleeping around at young ages, it's ridiculous. Kids just try and grow up so fast, then you before you know it your 20 years old in a grocery buying some milk waiting in line and you say: ""WHAT THE sh*t HAPPEND"?

sivispacem
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#27

Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:40 AM

QUOTE (Alenko @ Sunday, Sep 2 2012, 10:07)
Man, kids are having sex to young these days. I remember back in the day when I was in grade 8, just kissing a girl you felt like a badass. Now, kids are sleeping around at young ages, it's ridiculous. Kids just try and grow up so fast, then you before you know it your 20 years old in a grocery buying some milk waiting in line and you say: ""WHAT THE sh*t HAPPEND"?

Have you read any of the damn topic before you posted? It's highly probable that kids are having sex later than ever.

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#28

Posted 02 September 2012 - 08:34 PM Edited by Alenko, 02 September 2012 - 08:38 PM.

QUOTE (sivispacem @ Sunday, Sep 2 2012, 04:40)
QUOTE (Alenko @ Sunday, Sep 2 2012, 10:07)
Man, kids are having sex to young these days. I remember back in the day when I was in grade 8, just kissing a girl you felt like a badass. Now, kids are sleeping around at young ages, it's ridiculous. Kids just try and grow up so fast, then you before you know it your 20 years old in a grocery buying some milk waiting in line and you say: ""WHAT THE sh*t HAPPEND"?

Have you read any of the damn topic before you posted? It's highly probable that kids are having sex later than ever.

Well, no sh*t man. hahaha. But yeah, I know what the topic is about. When I was a kid, I'd refrain from 'going' out with girls because it never felt like I was 'going' out. I laughed when kids would brag about how they were all going out.

sivispacem
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#29

Posted 02 September 2012 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (Alenko @ Sunday, Sep 2 2012, 21:34)
Well, no sh*t man. hahaha. But yeah, I know what the topic is about. When I was a kid, I'd refrain from 'going' out with girls because it never felt like I was 'going' out. I laughed when kids would brag about how they were all going out.

Sorry, what on earth is your point? Please refrain from posting in D&D unless you have something intelligent to contribute.

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#30

Posted 02 September 2012 - 10:11 PM

QUOTE (sivispacem @ Sunday, Sep 2 2012, 14:57)
QUOTE (Alenko @ Sunday, Sep 2 2012, 21:34)
Well, no sh*t man. hahaha. But yeah, I know what the topic is about. When I was a kid, I'd refrain from 'going' out with girls because it never felt like I was 'going' out. I laughed when kids would brag about how they were all going out.

Sorry, what on earth is your point? Please refrain from posting in D&D unless you have something intelligent to contribute.

I dunno...what do you want me to say? pigs can fly over the moon? Are you high?




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