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El Zilcho
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#1

Posted 03 July 2012 - 08:00 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 03 July 2012 - 09:10 PM.

"I've been told they're my finest feature, my eyes. The darkest shade of brown you'll ever see... enigmatic and unyielding, they are chasms. If the eyes are a window into our souls, then mine are firmly closed. Either that, or what lies inside is hollow. My eyes will captivate and burn into you, but ultimately tell you nothing about who I am, nor my motivation or humanity. Would I help you when you need it most? Or carry on, like so many of our kin? My eyes won't tell you that. But you can guess, if you like. And stare, stare all you like. For I stand behind the mirror. I control what you see about me."

"Is that defensive? That reaction to others?"

"It's enjoyable, I certainly enjoy watching others guess about me. Speculate, scribble away on note pads or interview me. For all you know, I could be fabricating all this. All your efforts are ultimately futile; which gives me immense satisfaction. It is the ape studying the man."

---

"I'm detached, so horribly so, that humanity revolves around me like some morbid diorama. Out of touch, out of sympathy. It's almost as if I'm too old for it, but stuck amongst it nevertheless. Little children mill around me, seduced by the Hook-a-Duck or Whack-a-Mole - while I just stand and stare. Is my derealization and disdain shallow, or your emotion? I'd like to experience your kindergarten world for a day, just to see if I could swap my Brown eyes for your Blue."

---

"Does anything stir joy in you? I feel like when I speak with you, you're a machine, you know? You're 'operating' rather than living. Is that right?"

"Yes. Yes, I suppose it is. I look towards my days as levels, with objectives, with stimuli. 'Schadenfreude' best describes my earthly joys. I take pleasure from watching the little failures in life - delivering the bad news, crushing the best laid plans and turning my back on those who love me the most. I am aimless, but when those sadistic victories come around, there is nothing more directly beautiful and easily achieved than the tears of someone totally robbed of their dignity, their integrity. To corrupt and tarnish is an inexplicably perfect endeavour; to return life to the entropy from which it inexorably built itself. The power I wield when doing this is gorgeous in of itself."

"It's interesting you say that, regarding your behaviour towards women. Can you explain your point of view there?"

"Again, I'm different, but most probably similar to those outcasts. Sexually I am human, my attractions to the fairer sex as strong as any warm blooded creatures. Except, I must bask in Sun to stir my Arctic veins. You know already, my approach remains misogynist. Rather, it has remained on equal footing with my hatred for all life. I place emphasis on them purely because they can take our gaze at will; they can pull my Brown eyes out of formation, if only for an instant. In this, this potent power, I find the fire needed to prey upon them. It must be universal, because there are so many out there like me.

I use people, and using women is the natural progression. In some parts of the world it's also the most acceptable of my hobbies."

---

"Would you say you comprehend your abnormality? I mean, do you know you're not normal, in that sense?"

"I suppose that depends on your definition of normal. I eat, breath, and sleep like anyone else. I can charm you, and day to day I frequently do. Should I control what urges I have, I can function like any other of our human machines. I keep a semblance of my humanity, as a mask, from which I derive comfort. Because I know I'm superior to you, but I keep that within me. Behind my eyes and firm handshake, I am something so warped you couldn't even imagine. So yes, I do comprehend my abnormality. But I also comprehend your weakness. And I like that. I like it that way."

"You're very predatory. Do you see yourself that way?"

"Of course. But aren't all of us? In the world where we live, predatory behaviour rewards us. It allows me to function. I just take it a step further."

---

"Could you ever change?"

"Why would I want to? Why would I want to be one of you?"

Ziggy455
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#2

Posted 03 July 2012 - 08:33 PM

Very expositional, yet, in a good way! I love the format of interviewer and interviewee. It's well written and the interviewee seems like a real Alpha male. He seems real. Is this just a one shot? biggrin.gif

I'd like to see where you can go with this character, see if he develops or changes.

El Zilcho
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#3

Posted 03 July 2012 - 08:47 PM

QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Tuesday, Jul 3 2012, 21:33)
Very expositional, yet, in a good way! I love the format of interviewer and interviewee. It's well written and the interviewee seems like a real Alpha male. He seems real. Is this just a one shot? biggrin.gif

I'd like to see where you can go with this character, see if he develops or changes.

Oh, I'm carrying on with it wink.gif Thanks a lot for the feedback.

El Zilcho
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#4

Posted 03 July 2012 - 09:09 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 03 July 2012 - 09:12 PM.

"This, I have to say, is one of my fondest memories:"

Skoot

"Skoot was my childhood dog. I remember he was rather old when I was a kid, shaggy and slightly decrepit. Not much good any more he'd limp and lie around the house all day, a wasted shadow of his former bubbly self. He disgusted me. I think that repulsion toward aged tenacity, the pointlessness of it all would stay with me for many years to come. Despite the years we'd spent together, I just couldn't relate to his insistence on soldiering on. I thought it selfish. I knew it wasn't deliberate, he wasn't conscious of my frustration. But nevertheless his hanging on to life (at this point nothing more than a nuisance) was immoral to me. It should have been inspirational. It wasn't.

I believe I was 11, going on 12, when I decided to act. His pestilence was beyond offensive then, bumbling around in such a stupid and obsolete fashion. In hindsight my actions provided the perfect chance for practice. It was an opportunity to learn how to cover ones tracks, how to deal with those unworthy of life. It was my own coming of age story. Unorthodox huh?"

"You killed him?"

"Indeed. First I doused him in petrol. It was a pain taking the jerry can and Skoot in one trip, but I managed. Finally, using one of those, uh, click barbecue lighters, I set him alight. At first the flame remained on his back in quite a funny way, like a hairy and flea ridden birthday cake. It quickly spread into a fireball, and Skoot most definitely lived up to his name haha. I never saw him run so fast. Once he reached the corner, he flailed in a sort of spasmodic way, like a bucking bronco. It took another 10 seconds before he twitched to a halt.

I made sure to return the jerry can and use as little as possible, leaving and returning during the night. I had to ensure no one knew; even at that age I outsmarted my parents. Flyers were distributed, but they never found Skoot. Testament to my natural ability, if I may be so arrogant."

"You felt no remorse at all? Not even fear? At that age, most would be scared by such a sight, let alone one perpetrated by their own hands."

"No. I felt nothing. A little bit of a thrill on the ride back, nothing negative."

"Why did you choose to burn him? Wasn't it impractical and unnecessarily harsh?"

"I thought it would be interesting. And I wouldn't get my hands too dirty; not that that would be an issue today. But then, no."

Adler
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#5

Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:08 PM

The first piece I mostly enjoyed, despite not being a fan of the interview format myself. But the character himself is fascinating, and apparently not quite as Hollow as I'd imagine he'd be from the title. I'm guessing that the interviewer must be a psychiatrist/psychotherapist/psychologist or something of the sort?

Well anyhow my own impression of him is that he seems as if he tries so hard to transcend human nature, but natural instinct pulls him back to being human, such as how women can pull his eyes "out of formation." He's aware of this though by saying that "sexually he [is] human" so I do give him credit for not being defensive in that regard, but I find that the more he puts up defenses to protect his ego, the more he shows himself to be human. The extra "if only for an instant" added to that line about women turning his attention serves as his method of keeping his delusion of superiority intact, and avoid marring his own self-image.

My view of this character begins to break down in the second piece though.

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Tuesday, Jul 3 2012, 13:09)
Finally, using one of those, uh, click barbecue lighters, I set him alight.

This line seems a little out-of-character to me. Surely someone with such grandiose ideas about himself and possessing an immense vocabulary wouldn't have such difficulty identifying a "click barbecue lighter?" tounge.gif

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Tuesday, Jul 3 2012, 13:09)
Skoot most definitely lived up to his name haha. I never saw him run so fast. Once he reached the corner, he flailed in a sort of spasmodic way, like a bucking bronco. It took another 10 seconds before he twitched to a halt.

The laugh also seems out-of-character since the character portrayed in the first piece retains a consistently stoic personality while the "haha" sounds like an unnatural expression of delight for this character.

I enjoyed reading his detailing of his revulsion for his dog at the beginning of "Skoot" though, and overall I'm interested in reading more of what this character has to offer. A little hint on the setting of the interview would be nice too. rolleyes.gif

El Zilcho
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#6

Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:18 PM

Thanks for the response Adler, my idea with the second piece was to actually add in more hesitation in the speech, because it seemed quite perfect first time around, and in an interview it would be more human. But I can understand what you mean; it's hard to communicate that his laugh was more of a cynical, inhumane chuckle at his own wordplay, but I didn't want to include transcript markers [like this or something]. I appreciate the analysis, I'm going to continue trying to carry through his character as I proceed and keep him interesting... hopefully you guys don't mind a little graphic violence, because I intend to push a few boundaries. Next piece in the pipeline as we speak.

El Zilcho
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#7

Posted 04 July 2012 - 11:17 PM

How did you find school?

Paradoxical. It forged my potent social prowess, my charm and eagerness to meander my way into success. As an ecosystem, I was an apex predator. In that respect, I enjoyed it. But I also hated the controlled environment. I could only deride my exs the easily hated recluses until discipline caught up, which while easily ignored, resulted in restrictions. I hated the restrictions. So, I knew I had to grow up to fulfil my needs. However, I would say the benefits outweighed the downsides - my time in the upper social circles taught me the fickle, disposable nature of this species' friendship, the ease with which I could slither between cliques and manipulate the airheads to my bidding. I found that talent indispensable come later life.

---

Helping Hand

The next, hmm, shall I say, characteristically relevant story I have is one from when I was 17. Either 16 or 17, I can't quite remember. Before this point I had still periodically kicked out at animals, and systematically channelled my frustration through bullying. As I said, I was totally restricted but not free to work either. I yearned for something unsupervised, a chance to test my limits so to speak.

But I digress. After graduation I was able to earn money by working at the local cinema, all the while looking for things to satiate my hunger. It was one of those unknown void, you know? Something I couldn't quite pinpoint, which I was missing, and I desperately needed back. It wasn't long before I understood what I was missing, was inflicting suffering.

On a return walk from one of my obligatory drinking trips (required to necessitate prolonged social standing) I stumbled across a short cut. It was dark but led out from the street and cut through 2 blocks, and would put me straight onto my home neighbourhood. Halfway through navigating the bins and bags of refuse, I stumbled across a dishevelled homeless man, sprawled over some cardboard and rapped in his stinking rags. At first my mouth began to form an apology, but my disgust commandeered me momentarily and I stopped midway through.

"Hey man, can ya help a brother out?" He rasped, like the wheezing, cancerous stereotype you could imagine he was. He was gesturing up at me in a plea of charity. I considered walking and leaving him in his squalor, but as I prepared to do so, he, he brushed my knee with his calloused hands. I couldn't have that.

So you snapped?

It started off more composed than that. Aha, you could say I did help him out. I gave him the beating of a lifetime. It started with a foot on his fingers, followed by a flurry of stamps to his head, my heels angled downward. It was very vicious, but thrilling. He tried to grab my leg in defence; the f*ck just didn't learn. It just, pushed me beyond any sort of controlled violence. I dropped a knee into his, um, mouth I think it was. Very satisfying. A minute later he was crumpled in a foetal position, my kicks reverberating off his spine.

Once I was tired out I, quite inexplicably, grabbed his tattered shoe and threw it over the alley wall. At the time it was some idiotic final punishment for daring to touch me; I felt righteous but looking back it was a weak display of power. I since learnt how to degrade people so much more beautifully than that.

You hadn't perfected your art.

Haha, no. No, far from it.

Adler
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#8

Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:20 AM

I enjoyed this latest piece but it wasn't as graphic as I thought it'd be lol. I braced myself for the worst when you said you wanted to push a few boundaries.

I wish you had expanded a little more on his self-proclaimed status as "apex predator" in school. The dog and the hobo were defenseless victimes, but I would have liked to see how this still unnamed character dealt with kids his own age. From the brief narrative about school, it seems they were more victims to his charm and manipulation than to his violence.

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Wednesday, Jul 4 2012, 15:17)
I considered walking and leaving him in his squalor, but as I prepared to do so, he, he brushed my knee with his calloused hands. I couldn't have that.

I found this line pretty funny by the way. He's definitely overreacting. tounge.gif

El Zilcho
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#9

Posted 14 July 2012 - 08:23 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 14 July 2012 - 08:30 PM.

QUOTE
I enjoyed this latest piece but it wasn't as graphic as I thought it'd be lol. I braced myself for the worst when you said you wanted to push a few boundaries.

It is coming. Not just yet, but it will. I'll disgust myself when I do it, but I want Him to be totally unlikeable.

First Time For Everyone

So, could you tell me about your first murder?

It was uncharacteristic, and by that I mean, my future killings wouldn't be so spontaneous. I would learn the importance of meticulous planning, of extending and truly enjoying the experience. It was also weak.

Weak?

I derived my very first blood lust, but it was not prolonged. It was over in under a minute, so it left me hungering for more. It also provided no chance for me to dominate my victim, no chance for what would become the closest thing to a calling card for me - control. But despite my, uh, dismissal of it, it was a momentous moment. It took me a month to work up the courage, but this preparation also helped me to find a target. A gorgeous blond, couldn't have been over 25, always kissing and prancing around with her boyfriend. I loved that. The more people I hurt, indirectly, the better. I've always wondered about whether or not I could execute a spree, if it was viable or suited to me. A series is more interesting. But I digress.

She was young, her beauty very purposely formed... she worked very hard on her appearance, you know the type. I wasn't sure if she was a whore or a nice girl, but I enjoyed the prior. It gave me the fuel, the fire, with which I could strike.

Your disdain for the control she held over you, it was linked to how attractive she was, correct?

Yes. I regret somewhat not having my way with her, but I hadn't prepared. She was one of the most captivating of my victims.

Did you know her personally?

Thankfully no, from a afar only. I made certain to avoid personal killings, whenever possible.

It was a Friday night. She passed my watch point, slightly inebriated. My eyes latched onto every detail, how her tight cream dress caught the sodium yellow of the street lights. Every passing shadow was alive, pointing and glancing across her. It was so perfect. I stood and admired that, fleeting glimpse. My adrenaline was pounding, that dry taste in my mouth was so prominent, I could almost smell it. I moved quickly. Jogging to catch up, I dropped down the low steps from her apartment and deliberately bumped into her; she stumbled drunkenly and extended her arm outward, grasping my shoulder for balance.

"Hey!"

A car alarm exploded to life, down the other block. It jarred me from my comfort zone - I very seriously considered going home, the sweat breaking on the back of my neck. Haha, it was almost like that plunge, when you approach someone at the bar. Heart rending, so very susceptible to retreat. But no... I was here now, it was time.

"So sorry miss. You're out late?" was my mundane opening; I'd learn to strike them down with mere words in future.

"I'm celebrating!" She stood up straight and extended her arms out, palms upward. It was so, so, deliciously innocent.

"Oh. Well then, in that case."
My hand flew out of my jacket. There was no time for her to scream, I made sure of that. Within an instant I had grasped her neck with my gloved hands, and my frenzy began. Sharp end of the claw hammer, battering her skull into crumbly chunks. She let out an inhumane, guttural plea. Unintelligible but satisfying. I drove further until her brains were torn beautifully from her cranium, dropping with that comical squish you expect from wet flesh. My hammer left a jagged, very asymmetrical hole in her right temple, the tip of it scraping the other side of her skull ever so slightly. Throughout all this, I was lost in her eyes, as they fluttered and were obscured by thick crimson. My Brown met with her Blue, one set curiously terrified, the other merciless.

Then, I let her drop... but her hand remained stuck on my leather jacket, awkwardly latched on. It was ironic, but wondrous, how now her empty shell had developed an attachment to me. Peeling back those digits from my lapel, I realised I had to do this again. It was a revelation. It wasn't who I wanted to be, a spontaneous idiot, I realised this. I had to prepare. But I was going to kill again. That much, I told myself.


She was found the next morning by dog walkers. But her killer never caught... She was, as you guessed, only 23. Just engaged, out for the night to celebrate.

Yes. And you know what else? She was four days pregnant.

SIKKS66
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#10

Posted 14 July 2012 - 10:15 PM

This is very cool. Would make a great short film project for one of those few aspiring film-makers that wonder this thread for ideas.

Keep it up and I'll keep reading. I know it's only going to get more disturbing wink.gif

Adler
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#11

Posted 24 August 2012 - 03:37 AM

Sayyy... are you going to get around to continuing these fond memories of the homicidal but lovable psychopath? I'm looking forward to seeing more. smile.gif

El Zilcho
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#12

Posted 30 June 2013 - 06:11 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 30 June 2013 - 06:17 PM.

Tragic Beauty

Hatred has such a sublime aesthetic, donít you think? It is a fire, and a blade, in the hand of those who wield it. In competition, in employment, in politics, it is inextricable from progress. It is a fuel for us all. On the other hand, love is written about endlessly; it becomes formulaic and boring, and faster than hatred, it bleeds away. I see so many more facets to antipathy; it motivates more than the softer virtue. I think love, if I can be qualified to talk of an affliction I havenít suffered, pales in comparison with the base human condition. I mean, well, look at Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet. They are consumed by collective, tribal hatred. Itís beautiful. That dashed potential and wilted naivety, so common to tragedy, is what makes it so perfect. I can safely say I take pleasure from that pain, rather than catharsis. Why would I need to be taught a lesson on folly? I do the teaching.

Thatís an interesting way to read Shakespeare.

Yes, well, I see more than most. If that example doesnít tickle you, how about Othello? The entire play is Iago. He drives it, and draws my sympathy simply for being the only intelligent one there. The man, in almost every scene, transcends all others. That is undeniable. He is superior.

Iím intrigued; would you say you see yourself in him?

No. Thatís because he has what has evaded me Ė an enemy. Iíve longed for one, someone who I could truly hate; someone worthy of my efforts. I have, instead, contended with gutter spawn and droolers, people who are contemptible but easily crushed. I clean, rather than disassemble, when I kill them. That, for me, is a modern tragedy. To take a hated enemy, and pluck away, piece by piece, their potential and livelihood would be fantastic. But for that to happen, one has to hate. I donít hate anyone specifically. I dislike in equal measure.

Why say things so Ďhatefulí then? You've taken pride in how much bile you have, yet now you are dissociating yourself from it?

I use the word hate, or its synonyms, for convenienceís sake. It sounds better than dislike; just like blood pouring from an open neck beats coughing and spluttering. It is more visceral. I think, on the whole, what classes as dislike for me is probably hatred for everyone else. I do want to skin people alive when they skip in queues, after all.

Actually, don't you too?

Ziggy455
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#13

Posted 01 July 2013 - 03:48 PM Edited by Ziggy455, 01 July 2013 - 03:52 PM.

Hitting back up on this, I'm starting to see the bigger picture. I like this character. He isn't the everyman of the generation, or is he? That's the big question really. How much of ourselves do we see in the man? The protagonist --the antagonist? It's got a very Silence Of The Lambs essence about it but goes much beyond it in terms of character dialogue and much more. I'm starting to really envision the character and the dialogue is brilliant in my eyes.

QUOTE
No. Thatís because he has what has evaded me Ė an enemy. Iíve longed for one, someone who I could truly hate; someone worthy of my efforts. I have, instead, contended with gutter spawn and droolers, people who are contemptible but easily crushed.


I loved this line for some reason. Because it shows the frustration that the man really finds no pleasure in destroying people who are already destroying themselves.

And yes, I hate it when people jump the queues too. Keep this up, let's see where it's going.




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