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showtime416
  • showtime416

    Crackhead

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#1

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:43 AM Edited by showtime416, 15 April 2012 - 02:54 AM.

What kind of hookers do u guys want this time around? Fat, skinny, models, black, white, asian, hispanic etc. Feel free 2 describe your love 4 the hookers in gta v perhaps maybe some of you want male hookers (cough cough, the_anti_zee) maybe some of u want a hooker database on the internet this time around whatever u want.

Los Santos Pedestrian
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#2

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:46 AM

I want the hooker kind of hooker.

zackryderwoo
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#3

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:47 AM

One with a hole in it

Shaun_Walker
  • Shaun_Walker

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#4

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:49 AM

Doesn't matter....they all sound the same when you destroy them with a baseball bat rampage_ani.gif

DeafMetal
  • DeafMetal

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#5

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:50 AM

Funny ones. Love the random comments they always make.

The_anti_zee
  • The_anti_zee

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#6

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:51 AM

Sad topic

SoftimusPrime
  • SoftimusPrime

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#7

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:53 AM

Hookers with big, jiggly t*ts, you know the kind of t*ts that jiggle like Jell-O in an earthquake with just one step. Also, gimme some variety, if I'm cruising around town in a crispy ass suit, I want a hooker with class. Slender body and a big ass. If I'm just starting off and slummin' it in crusty food-stained sweats, I might go looking for a hooker that reflects my look, so probably a fat sloppy one with a raspy voice and is coughing up phlegm every two minutes. As for race, anything goes.

FilipinoGoblin
  • FilipinoGoblin

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#8

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:55 AM

Ones that are so fat that when I hit them with my Cavalcade they put a dent in it and go through my windshield, and ones that I can act like I am interested in and take them out to the desert and murder them... OH and don't forget the skinny ones that go SKY HIGH when I ram them with my car on a sidewalk killing spree biggrin.gif . Oh and I would like hot ones.

Degrees
  • Degrees

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#9

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:55 AM

Everything the OP said I want all races and all sizes.

azali10
  • azali10

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#10

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:58 AM

'Well, seeing as I don't use hookers I don't care. But does this really matter? This question is a bit weird.

thestoneman420
  • thestoneman420

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#11

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:58 AM

Big, fat ones. Harder to run away from my machete...

Ex Hellraiser
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#12

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:58 AM Edited by fatal1ty619, 15 April 2012 - 03:02 AM.

QUOTE (The_anti_zee @ Sunday, Apr 15 2012, 02:51)
Sad topic

My thoughts exactly. An information deprived society is bound to destroy itself.

I don't give a lying f*ck. I have Battlefield 3 to play instead ph34r.gif

showtime416
  • showtime416

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#13

Posted 15 April 2012 - 02:59 AM

yes, this is why I somewhat want GTA V to be for Kinect, then you can use it to its full potential when u pick up a hooker in GTA, plus i want the RAGE engine to maximize its power in that sequence

InSanitable
  • InSanitable

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#14

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:00 AM

People who play GTA just for the hookers. suicidal.gif

Degrees
  • Degrees

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#15

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:00 AM

QUOTE (showtime416 @ Sunday, Apr 15 2012, 02:59)
yes, this is why I somewhat want GTA V to be for Kinect, then you can use it to its full potential when u pick up a hooker in GTA, plus i want the RAGE engine to maximize its power in that sequence

You serious? mercie_blink.gif

Vikkio
  • Vikkio

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#16

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:02 AM

Some robot mutant alien hooker would be fine.

showtime416
  • showtime416

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#17

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:03 AM

(to everyone posting something bad)
it's called comedy/humor you morons, get a sense of humor and stop sweating your balls off for like one sentence of GTA V info, and "the_anti_zee" is just mad that R* took out the option to hang out with Bernie Crane, he wanted to go "hot coffee" in the Infernus with him.

Finn 7 five 11
  • Finn 7 five 11

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#18

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:09 AM

QUOTE (thestoneman420 @ Sunday, Apr 15 2012, 13:58)
Big, fat ones. Harder to run away from my machete...

That's exactly what i had in mind.

HydraulicWaRiOr
  • HydraulicWaRiOr

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#19

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:12 AM

QUOTE (showtime416 @ Sunday, Apr 15 2012, 03:03)
(to everyone posting something bad)
it's called comedy/humor you morons, get a sense of humor and stop sweating your balls off for like one sentence of GTA V info, and "the_anti_zee" is just mad that R* took out the option to hang out with Bernie Crane, he wanted to go "hot coffee" in the Infernus with him.

Nobody cares. You wanna pull something on him, then hold hands and skip into a f***ing meadow.

Cole Phelps Gta
  • Cole Phelps Gta

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#20

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:13 AM Edited by Cole Phelps Gta, 15 April 2012 - 03:17 AM.

Allright normally i dont give this much thought but when i was playing TBOGT earlier this year i was searching for pro's when i was thinking about this very subject. In V their needs to be a variety of pro's to choose from. Now im not suggesting we go into a brothel and choose a girl lol. But why not have different girls in different areas ? For example in bohan you have alot of cheap ''hood rats'' to choose from. In algonquin their would be really high class expensive girls working the corners e.g if a bohan girl cost $100 algonquin girls cost $600. Other areas would have girls priced somwhere in the middle. Now that's a far as i'd take it. The protag shouldn't catch std's or anything lol.

I just think it would be good to be able to pick my type of girl. Sometimes i want to have fun with a cheap hot rat. Sometimes i feel like speanding money. Other times i just want a regular girl. I also want their to be different types of girls like tall,asain,black,white ect

ak47andgunnin
  • ak47andgunnin

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#21

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:16 AM

your mother

rare.steak
  • rare.steak

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#22

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:16 AM

Clearly a troll thread and no mod gives a f*ck.

Degrees
  • Degrees

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#23

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:19 AM

QUOTE (Cole Phelps Gta @ Sunday, Apr 15 2012, 03:13)
Allright normally i dont give this much thought but when i was playing TBOGT earlier this year i was searching for pro's when i was thinking about this very subject. In V their needs to be a variety of pro's to choose from. Now im not suggesting we go into a brothel and choose a girl lol. But why not have different girls in different areas ? For example in bohan you have alot of cheap ''hood rats'' to choose from. In algonquin their would be really high class expensive girls working the corners e.g if a bohan girl cost $100 algonquin girls cost $600. Other areas would have girls priced somwhere in the middle. Now that's a far as i'd take it. The protag shouldn't catch std's or anything lol.

I just think it would be good to be able to pick my type of girl. Sometimes i want to have fun with a cheap hot rat. Sometimes i feel like speanding money. Other times i just want a regular girl. I also want their to be different types of girls like tall,asain,black,white ect

monocle.gif Thinking like a real pimp.

Snake Without a Tongue
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#24

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:21 AM

One with a hole in it... DAMNIT! somebody already said...

azali10
  • azali10

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#25

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:27 AM Edited by azali10, 15 April 2012 - 03:46 AM.

QUOTE (showtime416 @ Sunday, Apr 15 2012, 02:43)
What kind of hookers do u guys want this time around? Fat, skinny, models, black, white, asian, hispanic etc. Feel free 2 describe your love 4 the hookers in gta v perhaps maybe some of you want male hookers (cough cough, the_anti_zee) maybe some of u want a hooker database on the internet this time around whatever u want.

We should have fat hookers. And not the "slightly overweight kind" either. We should have those obese motherf*ckers, 200-300 lbs easy. Also completley hairless, head to toe, and with only three fingers on each hand. With rashes all over thier skin. And dressed in a tuxedo to make them the classy kind of hookers. Still girls though. I also think some of them should be left handed or wear glasses to add realism. icon14.gif

showtime416
  • showtime416

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#26

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:29 AM

I personally think hookers should have a deeper role in the series, we tend to forget hookers are people 2

EscoLehGo
  • EscoLehGo

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#27

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:35 AM

I want hookers with missing limbs and bullet hole scars. Maybe some of their bullet holes can be fresh and we could have the option of prying it open with our fingers while insulting their profession.

ShotGunRain
  • ShotGunRain

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#28

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:48 AM

Hookers with latex/leather pants like the girl walking infront of the red car.

Kjax39
  • Kjax39

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#29

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:55 AM

Hookers who are trashy as f*ck, high-priced 'classy hookers' (escorts), average ass hookers.....basically a nice wide range of hookers

cp1dell
  • cp1dell

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#30

Posted 15 April 2012 - 03:56 AM

I really want a morbidly obese hooker. Seriously, it could do wonders. You're cruising around Vinewood, and over by the Vinewood Walk of Fame you see some morbidly obese woman, traveling at five feet per hour. You pull up next to her with your Faggio, and honk that little twink horn. She doesn't answer. You beep constantly for the next five minutes until she realizes someone has been following her. She pulls sacks of sugar from her ears, and asks you if you need help. You tell her "Hop on ho," and the morbidly obese woman gets on the back of your Faggio, the back wheel flattens. You drive all the way out to the country-side, behind some abandoned cabin in the woods.

The protagonist pulls out a bed and blanket from underneath the woman's rolls of fat. The two get underneath the blanket, and shes on top. She begins to thrust herself up and down, and a minigame begins. You must move the analog stick up and down to the rhythm of the food swishing around in her stomach. After you beat the minigame, your pelvis collapses. The protagonist is wittled down to 25HP, and a crazy old guy runs out of the cabin yelling "Boomer!" He pulls a shotgun out from another roll of fat belonging to the morbidly obese woman, and shoots her. She explodes sending large bits of fat, flying everywhere. By chance, a piece headshots the player and he dies.

Upon respawning at the hospital, you are informed that you no longer have a pelvis, and can never bang another hooker in your life. You have also contracted Gonorrhea. The protagonist is filled with rage, and rampage missions have returned. You check the obituaries - internet has returned as well - and find the hooker's name filed under "Morbidly Obese Deaths." You "Fondle Search" (parody of Google) her name, and find a medical firm belonging to the morbidly obese woman's sister. The medical firm is then marked on your GPS and you must steal an Ambulance and drive there.

Upon arrival, you find the woman's anorexic sister, and kidnap her. You torture her (by feeding her large scraps of food) into telling you where her family lives. She will tell you that her seven generation family of mexicans live in a two-floor Burger Shot, upstairs. You snap the girl like a twig (melee has been enhanced greatly) and the Burger Shot is marked on your GPS.

Once you reach the Burger Shot (It's always a different location) you are commanded to throw molotovs in the open windows. You set fire to the building (environmental damage has been expanded) and the family rushes out. An angsty teen (there are now children included too) drives over, and turns the radio volume to the max. There is Heavy Metal music playing, and the protagonist finds a minigun in the trash. You can then embark on a rampage, reducing the family to ribbons. The police will arrive on flying jet skis, accompanied by Cole Phelps, and will open fire on you. If you happen to shoot a seagull flying by, the train will crash through Pizza Hut and then credits will welcome to Los Santos.




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