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The Liberty City Militarization Project

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SCAR Cheatulies
  • SCAR Cheatulies

    The Valkyrie

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  • Joined: 07 Jan 2012


Posted 11 April 2012 - 12:25 PM

((Hello there! I'm not a regular here on the Writer's Discussion forums, but having some inspiration lately, I've decided to type up a short story here on a whim. It's a parody of some various things (specifcally of the Gangs section and some of my own in game experiences in multiplayer) but will be written seriously in a first person perspective. This is intended as a one shot, but if those of you here like it, then I may add more chapters to it in the future. If I'm doing anything wrong then please let me know, but otherwise, I hope you all enjoy the story!))

On the edge of the beach of Firefly Island was a very obvious, suspicious green-camoflauged tent, pitched up next to the docks. I'm sure my uncertainty was obvious as I approached it, but the hobo pissing on the side of it didn't seem to notice or care as he glanced over at me, nodding at me, before I nodded back to him in return and entered the building. Standing around a table with a map of the city on it were three men, all ranging in various ages, wearing green army uniforms. The first, a young man who couldn't have been out of his teen age years, glanced at me nervously before quickly looking back to the ground submissively, while the other two watched me with a steady gaze, the second being a more middle aged man while the third was noticably older, having grey hair and an eyepatch. Everything was quiet for a moment, a nervous whimper heard from the younger one, while the middle age one stared at me, before the older man groaned with impatience and rolled his eyes.

I had expected them to say something to me, but after a moment of silence, I straightened my posture and gave a salute. "SCAR commander reporting for duty, sirs." The middle aged man nodded, before stepping forwards and speaking. "You are just what I expected from the Special Combat And Recon unit commander, young and strong but professional-looking as well." The middle aged man then returned back to the table, before picking up a clipboard with neat paper on it, looking it over before a confused look appeared on his face.

"Your code-name is Cheat... Cheat-oo-lees...? Cheat-uh-lease? Uh... how the hell do you say this...?", the middle aged man mumbled to himself, before the younger one glanced over his shoulder. "I think his name is Cleatus, sir." Before anyone could say anything else, the middle-aged man quickly turned around, before slapping the back of the younger one's head, which quickly caused him to be knocked to the side, yelping out in pain, and almost knocking his thick bottle-glassed spectacles off his head. "I didn't ask you pansy!"

I raised an eyebrow, before the middle-aged man looked back to me. "It's pronounced Cheat-you-lies, sir.", I said, before the middle-aged man nodded to me. "Right, Cheatulies. I am Commander Strictland, the pussy over there is Private Edwards, and this awesome guy is Captain Trousersnake."

Captain Trousersnake saluted me, while Private Edwards gave me a half-hearted wave, sniffling as he rubbed the back of his head, before Commander Strictland spoke again. "Mayor Ochoa is sending your branch over to us to be commanded by ours in order to combat the gang problem that has recently been plaguing this patriotic city. As you can see, or maybe not be able to see due to our awesomely hidden and completely matching-camoflauge technology, this is the Army's home base here in Liberty City. Our men, besides the Delta Force, are too horribly trained to combat the gangs directly, and we've been able to hold their forces off long enough before they became a problem, but we have a rather volitile situation occuring in Algonquin at the moment. A few of the many mafia groups here in the city have managed to almost completely take over the projects in northern Algonquin, so the government is instating the Liberty City Militarization Project in order to retake the city from these noobs."

I nodded my head in understanding. "That won't be a problem for us, sir. What is our first task?", I asked, before Commander Strictland replied back. "All we need you to do is invade the Governor Greg Johnson projects and eliminate the mafia forces there that have infested the place."

I reached down into my holster, pulling out my glock, before nodding and putting it away, looking back up at Commander Strictland. "Who are our targets?" Walking over to the wall, Commander Strictland pointed up at the wall, where pictures of a few African Americans were. "They call themselves the Upcity Mob. Apparantly they are not related to Italians in any sense."

I then nodded. "I've killed black people before, sir. This won't be a problem." Strictland then nodded, a grin on his face. "Excellent!"

"I shall get my organization together and get right to work." I gave a salute, before leaving after I received one in return. By now, there were a few more of the homeless surrounding the tent, a couple of them squating down near the back of it, grunts and farts able to be heard. I figured it wouldn't be long before they were caught and executed, but it was a rather bad idea to set up a military base near a unoffical homeless town. I made my way back towards the stairs that went to the fair, ready to get my men.


My five-man squad and I had managed to secretly infilitrate the Greg Johnson projects, stacked up on the second floor against the wall, our weapons aimed at the door. Those there were myself, Magics, Amp, Crusader, and Cyborg, all code-named after special abilities they all had. My name was based around the fact that I had managed to escape, or "cheat", death many times, but due to the typer at the computer who had put in the codename falling asleep and slamming his head on the keyboard, my official codename was Cheatulies but my squad just called me Cheat. Magics was able to magically complete his objectives no matter the situation, Amp was noisy and liked to cause explosions, Crusader has gone on many operations, and Cyborg was part robot due to an accident involving something with a dog food factory and underwear. Magics and Crusader were the two closest to the door so their shotguns were ready to fire, while the rest of us had M4s.

Attached to our heads were Gamebox microphones that were plugged into our cellphones, which would allow for easy communication between all of us. We weren't issued top-of-the-line mics as it was too expensive, and Mayor Ochoa was a cheap asshole. But because of the cheap sh*t we were using, this wouldn't be traced back to the government anyways. I pressed my ear up against the wall nearby, listening to what was going on inside, the letters "UTM" barely able to be recognized on the wall, which was sloppily spray painted. Loud rap music from what I recognized as The Beat 102.7 was blasting, but I could still hear noises.

"Oh, snap! Yo, check this out, homie! Look at what Crystal just did on America's Next Top Hooker! Dayum!" A rather deep voice boomed out over the music.

A higher-pitched voice then spoke. "Ooh, sh*t! She got dat sh*t goin' on, son! Yeah!" They stopped talking for a moment after that.

The high-pitched voice then quickly returned. "Emanuel! Get outta dat closet son, there's no one going to come in and kill us! You paranoid, nigga! Fo real, crackhead!"

A stuttering voice was then heard. "B-but I saw them! The b-bush men are h-hiding outside! Th-they got guns! R-rifles!"

"Damn it.", I muttered to myself. Our position had been compromised. There was no time for a countdown. "Alright men, let's go in there and slaughter them."

Just as Crusader shot the doorknob off, gunfire from inside could suddenly be heard. The targets were heard screaming, and over the span of ten seconds, the gunfire suddenly stopped. We quickly filed in through the hallway, everyone checking the four rooms that were nearby, two on the left and two on the right, before I entered the last door at the end, only to find that two bloody bodies lied in the middle of the floor, with a skinnier hispanic one sitting back against the wall in the closet with holes in his body. I noticed the window was open, and I quickly rushed to it. Looking outside, I noticed five men in ghuillie suits rushing across the street carrying M4s.

As the rest of my squad entered the room, I could heard Commander Strictland's voice in my ear. "Sorry Cheatulies, but it seems that Delta Force has managed to dispatch your targets before you all could. They did so on orders from a different commander, something about cleaning up the city in order to help out the Michael Graves compaign. You are recieving new orders, though. Two bosses from seperate mafias are having a meeting in an apartment room nearby, and you are being ordered to take them out... they are just next door."

The mic then shut off, before I turned to my men, speaking to them. "Alright, everyone move to the next door down, move it." They nodded, before we quickly returned to the abandoned hallway, stacking back up against the wall near the next door. I then pressed the quick-dial on the cell phone, calling back the command center. "Strictland, who are the targets?"

Strictland's voice could be heard next. "Captain Trousersnake managed to infiltrate the apartment building yesterday and put cameras in the bathroom, which luckily has the perfect view of the living room they are currently in right now. Target one, known as Boss Falcon, is on the left with his men, while target two, Boss Man, is on the right with his men. Anyone who interferes may be killed, but your priorities are the bosses." I nodded, before then pressing the off bottom on the cellphone attached to my belt.

Once again, I pressed my ear against the wall, before I heard voices. The first, coming from the left, sounded like an Arab man, likely Indian. "I really respect your own mafia mister, so I think that it would be in our best interests to make an alliance, you know? That way we can really work together and we will help out your own organization any time you all want." An amused laugh among snickers could be heard, before the voice on the right then spoke.

"Well, we can do that, but there's one problem. I am the only boss here in Liberty City. Remember that!" Shuffling around could be heard, before what presumably was Falcon could be heard speaking again. "Oh, oh sh*t, what the f*ck are you doing?!"

Gunfire once again erupted, but this lasted for much longer, and screams of agony could be heard. "On three, we bust in... one... two... three...!" Magics shot the door open, before we quickly filed in, weapons raised and aimed as what appeared to be Falcon being shot could be seen, his men simply staring around and glancing around idiotically before they were shot next, before we could do anything. Boss Man then turned around, his eyes widening as he saw our five man group. "What the hell is this, what's going o-"

Boss Man was interupted as his face was shot off with a shotgun blast, sending his body flying back across the room, hitting the wall with a thud and sending a splatter of blood over it. His men aimed their weapons again, but semi-automatic shotgun shells began to fill their bodies, along with the automatic assault rifles pounding bullets against their flesh, barely giving them time to fire wild shots into the room. In a matter of seconds, the room was filled with a variety of corpses, the floor and walls painted in blood and bullet holes. I glanced around the room, taking note of everything, before quickly leaving the apartment and motioning for my men to follow me. "We're leaving, come on!"

As we made our way down the stairs, I was interupted by a phone call, stopping us before we could leave. It was Nighthawk, one of our pilots. The sound of helicopter blades could be heard in the background before we spoke. "Sir, we're getting into a dog fight with some other attack helicopters! Since when do mafias have pilots?!" Before the actual operation began, I had ordered a squadron of seven Annihilators to position themselves around the projects incase backup was needed, but now they were the ones being attacked.

We quickly ran outside, and I looked up, only to see what I could only described as "Chopper-gedon". SCAR's annihilators were firing at other annihilators that were charging towards them, but the pilots were obviously inexperienced, flying around all over the place, some of them diving before crashing into buildings and exploding. Soon, a chase was beginning between two of the helicopters, before one of the annihilators noticed and began to chase after the one chasing his teamate, a British voice able to be heard over the mics. "Greasy, get back here!" Gun fire and blades was all that could be heard besides the voices.

A young, child-like voice could then be heard, apparantly coming from Greasy. "Preppy, no! Naruto-san, help me!" Flying in from over a nearby building was an orange helicopter, likely from an experienced decorated pilot of some sort, the words "Nine-Tailed Fox" printed on the side, before the Annhilator rammed into the one chasing, chopping off its tail, before the tailess helicopter crashed into a building and exploded. More shooting then occured as more mafia choppers flew in from above, before another SCAR annhilator flew past the three, three mafia helicopters chasing after that one.

"I can't get them off my tail!" Preppy's voice could then be heard. "Quick Eagle, do a barrel roll!" Eagle, the one being chased, did as told, before the mafia pilots collided into two buildings, the one in the middle descending before crashing into the subway station. This was enough for us.

"Everyone, quick, move! We... are... leaving!" We then began to run from the apartments towards the streets, but as we did, helicopter parts began to fall from the sky, forcing us to duck and weave, dodging the flaming metal. At some point along the way, I was seperated from everyone else, but I continued going, only looking over my shoulder once to see my men blocked off by an out-of-place tail piece. On the street was only one vehicle, which was a taxi cab.

I waved towards it, and it stopped right in front of the stairs, before I quickly climbed in. Panting, and almost out of breath, I quickly spoke to the driver. "Take me... to Hove Beach... hurry quickly... please." Nodding, the driver then took off, although he seemed to follow the speed limit despite the chaos going on around us. The vehicle turned the corner, before driving down the street, beginning to speak to me as he kept his eyes on the road.

"So, that's some battle, huh? Well, I suppose that's Liberty City for ya, always something new and interesting every day.", the driver said nonchalantly, stopping at a red light as we reached near the east ride of Middle Park. I stared at him in disbelief, just panting, before suddenly, lights lit up in the cab roof above, and I looked up to see them in confusion. "What...?"

Turning his head, the driver looked at me, grinning maniacly, his nonchalantness turning into one of excitement. "Welcome to Liberty City Cash Cab, friend! It looks like you are our lucky player today!" All I could do was stare at him in shock, while the light turned green and he focused his attention back on the road, still following the speed limit as he took me to my destination. It seemed like the stressful day was only just starting.

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