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Stream of Consciousness

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El Zilcho
  • El Zilcho

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#1

Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:43 PM

Society will teach you that you deserve your Prince Charming or perfect Wife, but you don't. You'll never get them. You'll settle for a man/woman who doesn't make you vomit as much as the next option, because life is hard and imperfect. It's harsh. But it isn't scaled or balanced by our morals - people die everyday with menial worries such as to where their next meal is coming from, how they're going to survive the next skirmish, is their drinking water going to kill them. These problems pale into comparison when you can't get sex, when you're snubbed by a friend, when you miss out on that promotion.

We pout, we shout, we cry out and scream. We're entitled because we're special. Everybody deserves what magazines and media tell us. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an anarchist. I don't particularly hate that our world as a whole has inseminated us with false expectations. Just going with it. I think to myself, I'm worthy of riches. I was born into a modern world, where opportunity and success are hard wired into our very essence. I will succeed and I will break into the 1%. I can do this because I'm me, right?

Wrong. I'm not going to be rich. I'll settle for middle class at most, because it's a lottery out there. I'll marry someone who I can probably just stand, I'll have children and feel empty inside. I'll achieve the material objectives I always dreamt of, only to realise I overshot the true happiness in life while looking for that Mercedes. That BMW. Executive lounge. All around I'll have brief glimpses of epiphanies that I'll barely taste, deluded by my own desires.

Are we really that simple? Am I really that simple? Are you?

Can I honestly say I'd forego all societies trappings to save people less advantageous than me? Most probably not. This makes me no better than everyone else. This means I don't deserve to roll around in gold plated velvet. And I won't. Because even those who get there aren't worthy. I listen to their music and bop my head to the sh*t they spew, the money they 'blaze', the cars they 'roll' in. Infantile stupidity. Propagating jealousy.

There isn't a Hollywood for us.

Why am I writing this? Why do I feel the need to self exercise these silly demons now, and here? I don't know. I'm worried if I stop to proof read it, I'll risk regretting this and deleting it. Like a drunken facebook picture. So I keep typing. And hope you read it.

Ziggy455
  • Ziggy455

    I'm the writer.

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  • Joined: 02 May 2007
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#2

Posted 27 March 2012 - 09:14 PM

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Tuesday, Mar 27 2012, 19:43)
Society will teach you that you deserve your Prince Charming or perfect Wife, but you don't. You'll never get them. You'll settle for a man/woman who doesn't make you vomit as much as the next option, because life is hard and imperfect. It's harsh. But it isn't scaled or balanced by our morals - people die everyday with menial worries such as to where their next meal is coming from, how they're going to survive the next skirmish, is their drinking water going to kill them. These problems pale into comparison when you can't get sex, when you're snubbed by a friend, when you miss out on that promotion.

We pout, we shout, we cry out and scream. We're entitled because we're special. Everybody deserves what magazines and media tell us. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an anarchist. I don't particularly hate that our world as a whole has inseminated us with false expectations. Just going with it. I think to myself, I'm worthy of riches. I was born into a modern world, where opportunity and success are hard wired into our very essence. I will succeed and I will break into the 1%. I can do this because I'm me, right?

Wrong. I'm not going to be rich. I'll settle for middle class at most, because it's a lottery out there. I'll marry someone who I can probably just stand, I'll have children and feel empty inside. I'll achieve the material objectives I always dreamt of, only to realise I overshot the true happiness in life while looking for that Mercedes. That BMW. Executive lounge. All around I'll have brief glimpses of epiphanies that I'll barely taste, deluded by my own desires.

Are we really that simple? Am I really that simple? Are you?

Can I honestly say I'd forego all societies trappings to save people less advantageous than me? Most probably not. This makes me no better than everyone else. This means I don't deserve to roll around in gold plated velvet. And I won't. Because even those who get there aren't worthy. I listen to their music and bop my head to the sh*t they spew, the money they 'blaze', the cars they 'roll' in. Infantile stupidity. Propagating jealousy.

There isn't a Hollywood for us.

Why am I writing this? Why do I feel the need to self exercise these silly demons now, and here? I don't know. I'm worried if I stop to proof read it, I'll risk regretting this and deleting it. Like a drunken facebook picture. So I keep typing. And hope you read it.

I want to shake you and scream at you that the world is not so black and white. To see such cynicism in a work is a outrage. Of course I know it's just a quick piece, but maybe I'm too queer and such because I'm actually seeing things with a much more optimistic view. I like this piece, it's a very raw honest mind vomit, I can honestly say though that I have felt like this myself hundreds of times. You see a lot of pain in the world and it is not hard to see the motivation behind which this was written.

A tight read Zilch'! smile.gif

El Zilcho
  • El Zilcho

    Virtuoso

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 14 May 2008
  • European-Union

#3

Posted 27 March 2012 - 09:50 PM

Thanks man, was in a bad mood and decided to shout at society like a drug addled hippy. tounge.gif I'm always a lot more optimistic than this but teenage existential crises come about now and then.

Ziggy455
  • Ziggy455

    I'm the writer.

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  • Joined: 02 May 2007
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#4

Posted 27 March 2012 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Tuesday, Mar 27 2012, 21:50)
Thanks man, was in a bad mood and decided to shout at society like a drug addled hippy. tounge.gif I'm always a lot more optimistic than this but teenage existential crises come about now and then.

You will receive no quarrel with me on the subject. We are both cut from the same cloth. It's good to know there are others who can bash out their pain into words. biggrin.gif




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