Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

Sex is overrated

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
339 replies to this topic
Xcommunicated
  • Xcommunicated

    Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here.

  • Moderator
  • Joined: 25 Sep 2002
  • United-States

#61

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:56 AM

QUOTE (Forty @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 01:34)
QUOTE (Xcommunicated @ Feb 20 2012, 05:07)
OP, if things don't improve over time as you gain more experience, but you are still left with an unquenched desire, then I have four simple words for you:  GET WEIRD WITH IT.

• Try unique and innovative positions. Some examples include Doggy Style helicoptered into Reverse Doggy Style, the Piledriver, and the Wheelbarrow.


It is nigh impossible to quantify the entertainment value of going batsh*t kooky with one's sexual exploits. Some of my most treasured and fun experiences were the most adventurous, and you learn a lot about yourself when you free your mind of its inhibitions and just get f*cking weird. You can learn a lot about the other person, as well. I have learned over the years that it is far less common that you will freak someone out in bed than it is you will awaken something in them that enjoys what you're doing. Who cares? Toe-f*ck her. Jizz on her face and then punch her in the nose. Make her smell her own butthole. Throw caution to the wind.

Also, for the explorers out there, a new position I'm working on that I have yet to try: The Houdini.

Set a girl up near a window and start f*cking her doggy style. When she is in the throws, quickly pull out and have your friend slip in to her from behind without her seeing, then go outside the window and wave at her. BOOM! Houdini!

Houdini... awesome f*cking idea. I've thought up a few that I haven't tried yet either. One I call the anonymous Eiffel Tower involves a woman halfway through a wall or some sort of divider with one dude on one end and another dude on the other end. It'd be a good work around for those not into two dudes on one chick.

Another one, The Sexorcist, involves having a hydraulic system hooked up to a bed. The dude is strapped onto the mattress and the woman rides cowgirl trying to stay on. Not so sure I'd try this one though in fear of a broken cock.

As far as other good locations go, I can't forget to throw backyard sex out there. Night time front yard sex is great too so long as you're not on a busy street. One time I boned a chick on someone's roof which was an insane rush from the fear of falling, the fear of being caught and the thrill of getting off all at once. Heck I'd even like to try f*cking in the crawl space under someone's house at some point, so long as it's in the winter time so there won't be bugs and sh*t crawling about.

orbitalraindrops
  • orbitalraindrops

    Homie

  • Andolini Mafia Family
  • Joined: 16 Feb 2012
  • None

#62

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:06 AM

QUOTE (Piperka @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 02:41)
The first time you do it it's not what you expect, and plus because you're still young and have your expectations high. But once you keep doing it and get older, and do it with someone you love it does get a lot better.

According to your birthday your'e a year younger than me or is that just a fake birthday?
smile.gif

As for kinky stuff, I reckon it'd be kind of fun to try S and M out at some point.

Exxon
  • Exxon

    The Obvious Child

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 Oct 2010

#63

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:29 AM

This topic is goddamn hilarious! lol.gif

Forty
  • Forty

    he shouts stroke darker the strings

  • The Precinct
  • Joined: 01 Sep 2002
  • None

#64

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:47 AM

QUOTE (Xcommunicated @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 01:56)
QUOTE (Forty @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 01:34)
QUOTE (Xcommunicated @ Feb 20 2012, 05:07)
OP, if things don't improve over time as you gain more experience, but you are still left with an unquenched desire, then I have four simple words for you:  GET WEIRD WITH IT.

• Try unique and innovative positions. Some examples include Doggy Style helicoptered into Reverse Doggy Style, the Piledriver, and the Wheelbarrow.


It is nigh impossible to quantify the entertainment value of going batsh*t kooky with one's sexual exploits. Some of my most treasured and fun experiences were the most adventurous, and you learn a lot about yourself when you free your mind of its inhibitions and just get f*cking weird. You can learn a lot about the other person, as well. I have learned over the years that it is far less common that you will freak someone out in bed than it is you will awaken something in them that enjoys what you're doing. Who cares? Toe-f*ck her. Jizz on her face and then punch her in the nose. Make her smell her own butthole. Throw caution to the wind.

Also, for the explorers out there, a new position I'm working on that I have yet to try: The Houdini.

Set a girl up near a window and start f*cking her doggy style. When she is in the throws, quickly pull out and have your friend slip in to her from behind without her seeing, then go outside the window and wave at her. BOOM! Houdini!

Houdini... awesome f*cking idea. I've thought up a few that I haven't tried yet either. One I call the anonymous Eiffel Tower involves a woman halfway through a wall or some sort of divider with one dude on one end and another dude on the other end. It'd be a good work around for those not into two dudes on one chick.

Another one, The Sexorcist, involves having a hydraulic system hooked up to a bed. The dude is strapped onto the mattress and the woman rides cowgirl trying to stay on. Not so sure I'd try this one though in fear of a broken cock.

As far as other good locations go, I can't forget to throw backyard sex out there. Night time front yard sex is great too so long as you're not on a busy street. One time I boned a chick on someone's roof which was an insane rush from the fear of falling, the fear of being caught and the thrill of getting off all at once. Heck I'd even like to try f*cking in the crawl space under someone's house at some point, so long as it's in the winter time so there won't be bugs and sh*t crawling about.

Hahahaha! Your Eiffel Tower idea sounds like an old school glory hole with an entire woman shoved through it instead of some guy's dick.

I also want to helicopter-f*ck a broad sometime. That move seems like the bees knees. Maybe not so much for getting off but the comedic value would be through the roof.

Xcommunicated
  • Xcommunicated

    Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here.

  • Moderator
  • Joined: 25 Sep 2002
  • United-States

#65

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:17 AM

QUOTE (Forty @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 03:47)
I also want to helicopter-f*ck a broad sometime. That move seems like the bees knees. Maybe not so much for getting off but the comedic value would be through the roof.

Check out my last post in the OGA. I tried the wheelbarrow once and it was awesome. It may come off as a bit degrading for the chick since she's having to walk around on her hands while you're holding her legs and going to town, but as long as she doesn't have any hang ups about it, it's a fun one to do. I did get a bit carried away and ended up smashing her head into the wall. Fortunately she didn't get too pissed at me.

Mister Pink
  • Mister Pink

    Sax & Violins

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 03 Nov 2004
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [Music] 2013
    Best Contributor [Music] 2012

#66

Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:12 AM

If you think it's overrated, you're not doing it right. I almost thought like you at 17/18 then I meet my ex and she was mad for it. We had sex all over the place, handjob on the back of the bus, discreetly entering her standing up outdoors on a quiet street in a busy city centre night out. We've also had 2 threesomes. You need to find someone you click with sexually. At the moment you are inexperienced and so are the chicks you're with. When you find someone you are comfortable with and you get past a certain phase then you start busting out all the freaky sex. Then you'll know sex isn't overrated, lol.

chris
  • chris

    Everton FC

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 15 Apr 2009

#67

Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:18 AM

I agree with OP, gay sex on the other hand mmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm

stinomontana
  • stinomontana

    contract chiller

  • Members
  • Joined: 01 Feb 2008

#68

Posted 20 February 2012 - 11:02 AM

This is still gtaforums, right? rolleyes.gif

Secura
  • Secura

    Fallen and Reborn

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2010
  • United-Kingdom
  • Discussion Award [Gaming]
    Literary Prowess [General Chat]

#69

Posted 20 February 2012 - 11:35 AM

QUOTE (vertical limit @ Sunday, Feb 19 2012, 21:54)
Girls, if your age is on the clock then you are too young for the cock. - Dave Chappelle

user posted image

Well I'm going to jail confused.gif

Exxon
  • Exxon

    The Obvious Child

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 Oct 2010

#70

Posted 20 February 2012 - 12:01 PM Edited by Exxon, 20 February 2012 - 12:02 PM.

There are some weird-ass motherf*ckers around here lol.gif

EDIT
Maybe I should've used another word for motherf*ckers turn.gif

GTA-King
  • GTA-King

    I was alive.

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 08 Jul 2006

#71

Posted 20 February 2012 - 12:31 PM Edited by GTA-King, 20 February 2012 - 02:18 PM.

I literally lol'ed when I learned what a Houdini was Forty! Sounds pretty fun/funny. Must try this sometime!

Have you heard of the Superman? Well, if not, it's when you cum on a girls back and then you put the covers on it and it sticks. Thus, resembling a cape... like Superman!

Or the Cleveland Steamer, when you literally sh*t on their chest.

And of course, the Strawberry Shortcake, which is when you cum on the girl's face and then punch her in the nose so that the blood mixes in with the cum... thus resembling a strawberry shortcake!


I blame my friends for this knowledge. moto_whistle.gif

TensaZangetsu
  • TensaZangetsu

    Dark Esper

  • Members
  • Joined: 03 Sep 2011
  • United-States

#72

Posted 20 February 2012 - 01:21 PM

No it isn't because i never had it! lmao

T.Rez
  • T.Rez

    NIN

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2011

#73

Posted 20 February 2012 - 01:22 PM

I'm still a virgin myself. I'm not desperate to have sex but I feel like I'm missing out. Like I want to just experience it so I can put my mind at rest.

OysterBarron
  • OysterBarron

    You need a Pearl necklace? Hit me up ;)

  • Zaibatsu
  • Joined: 17 Dec 2004
  • United-Kingdom

#74

Posted 20 February 2012 - 01:55 PM

I remember this kind of topic when guilty by association was about! it can get kinda weird trust me. my first time was great i had chassed this girl i liked for over a year and i had it in my head that she was the one i wanted to loose it to! roll on when i firsr got with her and 2 weeks in we had sex for the first time both of us were virgins and it was amazing i had wanted it for so long with this girl i couldnt believe i was having sex and i was having it with the girl i wanted to do it with it was great. i must addmit i was under the immpression it would only last a few mins but it was slightly uncomfortable and i lasted 2 hours witch is a damn sight longer than i have manadged since! so yes i think you havent found the right person yet!

but sex isnt a cure for deppresion you may want to get some support about that!

Bernard Jazz
  • Bernard Jazz

    Dud dats not gas, dats a chikn.

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Apr 2004

#75

Posted 20 February 2012 - 01:57 PM

QUOTE (T.Rez @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 13:22)
I'm still a virgin myself. I'm not desperate to have sex but I feel like I'm missing out. Like I want to just experience it so I can put my mind at rest.

I was pretty much the same, I wasn't particularly bothered about getting laid but once it did happen that changed.
Sex is great.

tubbs51
  • tubbs51

    Superbowl 48 Champs! GO SEAHAWKS!!

  • Angels of Death MC
  • Joined: 28 Aug 2009
  • None

#76

Posted 20 February 2012 - 02:01 PM

TUBBSthezombie looks up at the sky expecting asteroids and brimstone



Never thought i'd see a topic like this here... kinda like a Nun becoming a prostitute. lol

Moonshield
  • Moonshield

    amplifier worship

  • Moderator
  • Joined: 19 Jul 2002
  • Mongolia
  • Best Senior Moderator 2013

#77

Posted 20 February 2012 - 02:07 PM

QUOTE (Xcommunicated @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 02:56)
QUOTE (Forty @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 01:34)
QUOTE (Xcommunicated @ Feb 20 2012, 05:07)
OP, if things don't improve over time as you gain more experience, but you are still left with an unquenched desire, then I have four simple words for you:  GET WEIRD WITH IT.

• Try unique and innovative positions. Some examples include Doggy Style helicoptered into Reverse Doggy Style, the Piledriver, and the Wheelbarrow.


It is nigh impossible to quantify the entertainment value of going batsh*t kooky with one's sexual exploits. Some of my most treasured and fun experiences were the most adventurous, and you learn a lot about yourself when you free your mind of its inhibitions and just get f*cking weird. You can learn a lot about the other person, as well. I have learned over the years that it is far less common that you will freak someone out in bed than it is you will awaken something in them that enjoys what you're doing. Who cares? Toe-f*ck her. Jizz on her face and then punch her in the nose. Make her smell her own butthole. Throw caution to the wind.

Also, for the explorers out there, a new position I'm working on that I have yet to try: The Houdini.

Set a girl up near a window and start f*cking her doggy style. When she is in the throws, quickly pull out and have your friend slip in to her from behind without her seeing, then go outside the window and wave at her. BOOM! Houdini!

Houdini... awesome f*cking idea. I've thought up a few that I haven't tried yet either. One I call the anonymous Eiffel Tower involves a woman halfway through a wall or some sort of divider with one dude on one end and another dude on the other end. It'd be a good work around for those not into two dudes on one chick.

Another one, The Sexorcist, involves having a hydraulic system hooked up to a bed. The dude is strapped onto the mattress and the woman rides cowgirl trying to stay on. Not so sure I'd try this one though in fear of a broken cock.

As far as other good locations go, I can't forget to throw backyard sex out there. Night time front yard sex is great too so long as you're not on a busy street. One time I boned a chick on someone's roof which was an insane rush from the fear of falling, the fear of being caught and the thrill of getting off all at once. Heck I'd even like to try f*cking in the crawl space under someone's house at some point, so long as it's in the winter time so there won't be bugs and sh*t crawling about.

I've broken my old bed before - an old oak 3' high standing bed from the 30's. The bottom right leg broke right off and the whole bed teetered over. We kept going.

One fun thing to try is the changing of the guard - start in missionary, roll over to cowgirl, spin her to reverse cowgirl, roll over to doggy, and return from whence you came.

GTAfear
  • GTAfear

    Think of a yellow rubber duck!

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Jun 2009

#78

Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:01 PM

Wow, I'm actually glad someone posted something like this...

I also have similar fears and opinion. I am a virgin and I imagine sex as something very beautiful, maybe even magical! And now I fear I could be disappointed, too. But I will wait and do it only with someone I truly love, which makes me more secure...

QUOTE (orbitalraindrops)
Additionally I also thought that sex would feel so good that as soon as I was inside her I'd come.


Lol, I also have this fear and it worries me. Glad to know there are others who think similarly.

Thanks for sharing this, man! blush.gif

Gtaghost22
  • Gtaghost22

  • Members
  • Joined: 22 Dec 2011

#79

Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:11 PM

QUOTE (vertical limit @ Sunday, Feb 19 2012, 21:54)
Girls, if your age is on the clock then you are too young for the cock. - Dave Chappelle

LOL! I Love Dave Chappelle!

On Topic: @OP i 100% agree with you.. Sex is OVERRATED! Its not the worst thing ever, but its obviously overrated!

Forty
  • Forty

    he shouts stroke darker the strings

  • The Precinct
  • Joined: 01 Sep 2002
  • None

#80

Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:26 PM

QUOTE (GTAfear @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 09:01)
QUOTE (orbitalraindrops)
Additionally I also thought that sex would feel so good that as soon as I was inside her I'd come.


Lol, I also have this fear and it worries me. Glad to know there are others who think similarly.

This cannot be a fear of a man when having sex, or it will come true. Climax is of course the ultimate goal, just accept that it will happen and don't worry about when, or that time will approach very quickly.

The wheelbarrow wall-smash could be some sort of new combo move, Xcomm. Bruise her ass cheeks and her eyesocket simultaneously.

ToniForelli
  • ToniForelli

    Tap Tap Tap! *Troll food*. Umad?

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 20 Jul 2011

#81

Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:32 PM

Off to pornhub

Gtaghost22
  • Gtaghost22

  • Members
  • Joined: 22 Dec 2011

#82

Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:38 PM

QUOTE (stinomontana @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 11:02)
This is still gtaforums, right? rolleyes.gif

I dont know why! But i cant stop laughing since i saw this post^^

orbitalraindrops
  • orbitalraindrops

    Homie

  • Andolini Mafia Family
  • Joined: 16 Feb 2012
  • None

#83

Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:53 PM

Heres another thing which bothers me and I don't know if it does for anyone else but when I'm with a girl and wer'e getting it on at some point I will suck on her tits. It feels nice, although doesn't really taste of much and she doesn't seem to mind it but nonetheless I have this huge urge to do it. Why?. What is the evolutionary purpose for this. To make sure she can give babies sufficent nutrition. I mean whilst I'm doing it that's the last thing that's going through my head, I just want to suck some juicy breasts but there has to be an evolutionary angle behind it. Or at least I think there is.

okei
  • okei

    Dressed to kill like I'm Gianni Versace

  • $outh $ide Hoodz
  • Joined: 04 Aug 2008

#84

Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:01 PM

Don't wank for a week.

Bernard Jazz
  • Bernard Jazz

    Dud dats not gas, dats a chikn.

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Apr 2004

#85

Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:05 PM

QUOTE (okei @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 16:01)
Don't wank for a week.

Ha, I tried abstaining from wanking for as long as possible once. I lasted 8 whole days, I wouldn't recommend it.

Vercetti27
  • Vercetti27

    Staunton Faction

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jan 2009

#86

Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:14 PM

QUOTE (Mealing @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 16:05)
QUOTE (okei @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 16:01)
Don't wank for a week.

Ha, I tried abstaining from wanking for as long as possible once. I lasted 8 whole days, I wouldn't recommend it.

cold turkey is never easy. I think theres a real gap in the market from some kind of anti-masturbation drug, like nicotine patches, only for your cock.

Tryst
  • Tryst

    Professionally Retarded

  • Andolini Mafia Family
  • Joined: 09 Dec 2003

#87

Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:15 PM

QUOTE (orbitalraindrops @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 15:53)
Heres another thing which bothers me and I don't know if it does for anyone else but when I'm with a girl and wer'e getting it on at some point I will suck on her tits. It feels nice, although doesn't really taste of much and she doesn't seem to mind it but nonetheless I have this huge urge to do it. Why?. What is the evolutionary purpose for this. To make sure she can give babies sufficent nutrition. I mean whilst I'm doing it that's the last thing that's going through my head, I just want to suck some juicy breasts but there has to be an evolutionary angle behind it. Or at least I think there is.

A few things are at play there, one naturally thats where you get your dinner when you are a baby. And there is still part of that at play here.
Second, its pleasurable for the woman, so if you are doing your job right in bed thats what you are moving in to accomplish (unless of course you are such a dense self centered jerk you don't care about the woman's pleasure at all).

TensaZangetsu
  • TensaZangetsu

    Dark Esper

  • Members
  • Joined: 03 Sep 2011
  • United-States

#88

Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:27 PM

I can't go one day without wanking, if i see a fine ass girl anywhere, my dick starts jumpin

GTAfear
  • GTAfear

    Think of a yellow rubber duck!

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Jun 2009

#89

Posted 20 February 2012 - 05:23 PM Edited by GTAfear, 20 February 2012 - 05:26 PM.

QUOTE (Forty @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 15:26)
QUOTE (GTAfear @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 09:01)
QUOTE (orbitalraindrops)
Additionally I also thought that sex would feel so good that as soon as I was inside her I'd come.


Lol, I also have this fear and it worries me. Glad to know there are others who think similarly.

This cannot be a fear of a man when having sex, or it will come true. Climax is of course the ultimate goal, just accept that it will happen and don't worry about when, or that time will approach very quickly.

The wheelbarrow wall-smash could be some sort of new combo move, Xcomm. Bruise her ass cheeks and her eyesocket simultaneously.

Thanks for the tip! blush.gif

EDIT: This section has become more interesting than the GTA V section for me...

Guns N R0se
  • Guns N R0se

    King of the Mountain

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 Jun 2009

#90

Posted 20 February 2012 - 06:25 PM

QUOTE (GTAfear @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 17:23)
QUOTE (Forty @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 15:26)
QUOTE (GTAfear @ Monday, Feb 20 2012, 09:01)
QUOTE (orbitalraindrops)
Additionally I also thought that sex would feel so good that as soon as I was inside her I'd come.


Lol, I also have this fear and it worries me. Glad to know there are others who think similarly.

This cannot be a fear of a man when having sex, or it will come true. Climax is of course the ultimate goal, just accept that it will happen and don't worry about when, or that time will approach very quickly.

The wheelbarrow wall-smash could be some sort of new combo move, Xcomm. Bruise her ass cheeks and her eyesocket simultaneously.

Thanks for the tip! blush.gif

EDIT: This section has become more interesting than the GTA V section for me...

GTA V is crap.

And you don't have to worry, do the following
  • Get girl
  • Do "your business"
  • Throw the whore a towel and tell her to get the f*ck out




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users