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Cheating

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Ziggy455
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#1

Posted 16 February 2012 - 01:15 AM

Well my girlfriend of the last three years has cheated on me and left me for her new boyfriend. This NEW boyfriend is in fact her ex who she lost her virginity to and following that, he cheated on her twice, with her best friend. Now I'm not condoning my actions over the last three years, I've never hit her, never cheated, always tried my best to support her. She claims she's wanted her ex back for a long time and eventually she couldn't stop herself and got with him.

I was just wondering if anybody here condones cheating or have had their own experiences with a cheating partner or ex?

Chunkyman
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#2

Posted 16 February 2012 - 01:34 AM

Cheating is bad, M'kay. bored.gif

But seriously, I wouldn't ever place trust in someone who cheated on their partners, and without trust the relationship will likely fail.

Ziggy455
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#3

Posted 16 February 2012 - 01:58 AM

QUOTE (Chunkyman @ Thursday, Feb 16 2012, 01:34)
Cheating is bad, M'kay. bored.gif

But seriously, I wouldn't ever place trust in someone who cheated on their partners, and without trust the relationship will likely fail.

It's been a week and my ex is back with her cheating ex. He's cheated on every partner she has had and now officially so has she. So I'm not really going to be surprised when her new partner goes off and cheats again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Mister Pink
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#4

Posted 28 February 2012 - 08:59 PM

I've lost all faith in males and females alike. I recently found out that a person I'm very close with has cheated on his girlfriend of 5 years. You'd never expect him to do that.

I was also dubious about my ex of 4 years and her best friend cheats also I've cheated in the past and so has my other ex.0

I just don't think people are supposed to me with one person. In the future I envision the human race having many 'life partners.' It's already going that way. I think we may adapt to being less hurt when partners cheat. I'm not talking in 20 years, I'm talking maybe hundreds.

It's not right to cheat but we all do it. Women are as bad as men. The more I see it, the more I become convinced that true-love doesn't exist. If it does it's a happy coincidence that two lovers are faithful. Most people will cheat, no matter what they tell you.


sivispacem
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#5

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:22 PM

This can come back to D&D if it becomes a proper debate. Right now, it's basically just another "share your feelings" thread.
Moved.

Guns N R0se
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#6

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:24 PM

I feel bad for you sad.gif Bitches and whores

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#7

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:29 PM

Cheating is WRONG! no doubt about that

Ziggy455
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#8

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (ThePinkFloydSound @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 20:59)
I've lost all faith in males and females alike. I recently found out that a person I'm very close with has cheated on his girlfriend of 5 years. You'd never expect him to do that.

I was also dubious about my ex of 4 years and her best friend cheats also I've cheated in the past and so has my other ex.0

I just don't think people are supposed to me with one person. In the future I envision the human race having many 'life partners.' It's already going that way. I think we may adapt to being less hurt when partners cheat. I'm not talking in 20 years, I'm talking maybe hundreds.

It's not right to cheat but we all do it. Women are as bad as men. The more I see it, the more I become convinced that true-love doesn't exist. If it does it's a happy coincidence that two lovers are faithful. Most people will cheat, no matter what they tell you.


My girlfriend treated me like sh*t, made me out to be a c*nt. However I remained faithful for three years. I believe people's morals are slipping, but I do believe in true love. I believe we can still very much mate for life, if our heads weren't stuck up our arses. I never would cheat, not in my life, and I believe there's somebody out there that you can spend the rest of your life with. Te odds are against you, but it can happen. I know I've felt real love, true love, it's rare and usually stems from an early age if you know someone long enough. smile.gif

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#9

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (Guns N R0se @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 16:24)
I feel bad for you sad.gif Bitches and whores

I feel bad for you because you're a jackass.

Guns N R0se
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#10

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:30 PM

QUOTE (*MURDOC* @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 21:29)
QUOTE (Guns N R0se @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 16:24)
I feel bad for you  sad.gif   Bitches and whores

I feel bad for you because you're a jackass.

I didn't do anything confused.gif

Tyler
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#11

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:32 PM

QUOTE (ThePinkFloydSound @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 14:59)
I just don't think people are supposed to me with one person. In the future I envision the human race having many 'life partners.' It's already going that way. I think we may adapt to being less hurt when partners cheat. I'm not talking in 20 years, I'm talking maybe hundreds.

It's not right to cheat but we all do it. Women are as bad as men. The more I see it, the more I become convinced that true-love doesn't exist. If it does it's a happy coincidence that two lovers are faithful. Most people will cheat, no matter what they tell you.

You should check out 'Brave New World' bro.

Also, cheating is wrong in contemporary society and I don't think it's impossible to keep a monogamist relationship at all. Then again I define personal relationships as something where both parties feel strongly enough for each other to actually try to be together despite our supposed genetic predisposition.

Casual relationships with multiple partners is fine if you're not making anyone cheat on serious partners and all that jazz, but they tend to be less fulfilling than the serious relationships (at least on the non-physical stuff) for obvious reasons. It's whatever, though. Don't play around with people's hearts but don't date swingers if you plan on marrying after 2 years of a relationship.

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#12

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:36 PM

Of course it's wrong you moron. Tell her to f*ck off.

Mister Pink
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#13

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:40 PM

Cheers Tyler, I'll check it out. Posts from you guys give me hope. Sorry to sound so negative. Some times I think I've just been disillusioned, maybe I believed in T.V. and Hollywood too much and I find the reality of the fact that people cheat so much - too much for me.

I though all women were innocent growing up and it was hard for me to deal with it when I found out my ex cheated on me.

@Ziggy: Fair play to you bro. Maybe I'll think like you again. Also, sorry your ex did that to ya.

lil weasel
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#14

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:45 PM

If you haven't entered in to a 'Contract' there isn't any cheating. In a 'Marrage Contract' it would be called Adultry. Which by current use isn't even punished. So how could 'cheating' among unmarried, un-contracted couple be 'bad'?

Ziggy455
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#15

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (ThePinkFloydSound @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 21:40)
Cheers Tyler, I'll check it out. Posts from you guys give me hope. Sorry to sound so negative. Some times I think I've just been disillusioned, maybe I believed in T.V. and Hollywood too much and I find the reality of the fact that people cheat so much - too much for me.

I though all women were innocent growing up and it was hard for me to deal with it when I found out my ex cheated on me.

@Ziggy: Fair play to you bro. Maybe I'll think like you again. Also, sorry your ex did that to ya.

We all have to learn, we learn from cradle to grave. You may have been disillusioned, but we all tend to overthink things until the complication becomes so overthought, that we entirely miss the purpose behind things. There is somebody out there for everyone, and no matter how much you argue with them, or fight with them, the beauty of things is that you want to be with that person through all of the sh*t. All of it, the fights, the laughs and the cries. It's important to believe in other people, even though you've been shown the harshness of the modern human.

I've had a rough life, quite terrible in fact, but through it all I guess I've always had one girl on my mind. One I've loved since I met her, and I think that's what's kept me going. Regardless of the pain of cheating or otherwise. mercie_blink.gif

Mister Pink
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#16

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:48 PM

Morally bad, knowing that its hurting your partners feelings? I don't know if you actually believe your last comment Weasal or it's a quote but I thought its obvious. biggrin.gif

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#17

Posted 28 February 2012 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (lil weasel @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 16:45)
If you haven't entered in to a 'Contract' there isn't any cheating. In a 'Marrage Contract' it would be called Adultry. Which by current use isn't even punished. So how could 'cheating' among unmarried, un-contracted couple be 'bad'?

It's more of a trust issue genius.

lil weasel
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#18

Posted 28 February 2012 - 10:04 PM

QUOTE (*MURDOC* @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 21:48)
QUOTE (lil weasel @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 16:45)
If you haven't entered in to a 'Contract' there isn't any cheating. In a 'Marrage Contract' it would be called Adultry. Which by current use isn't even punished. So how could 'cheating' among unmarried, un-contracted couple be 'bad'?

It's more of a trust issue genius.

What do you think a contract is?
And, I didn't think it showed smile.gif

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#19

Posted 28 February 2012 - 10:04 PM

Humans aren't meant to be in monogamous relationships. Those ideals come about by culture shaping the mind.

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#20

Posted 28 February 2012 - 10:39 PM

It's not right obviously. And don't feel bad about it chances are she's been cheating behind your back for some time now.

Sluts gonna slut.

QUOTE (JOSEPH X @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 22:04)
Humans aren't meant to be in monogamous relationships. Those ideals come about by culture shaping the mind.

Good luck with your forever alone goals in 2012.

Ziggy455
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#21

Posted 28 February 2012 - 11:02 PM

QUOTE (JOSEPH X @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 22:04)
Humans aren't meant to be in monogamous relationships. Those ideals come about by culture shaping the mind.

If culture nowadays is teaching us anything, they're teaching us that life is one big party and you should f*ck everything.

You sir, need luck on your quest of celebite travels!

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#22

Posted 28 February 2012 - 11:14 PM

My current girlfriend cheated on her husband with me, and we are going on six months in our current relationship. She has left her husband, and as terrible as that sounds her marriage was a complicated situation. I never thought I would allow myself to partake in such a thing, I come from a broken home and always despised the idea of being "that guy". I found myself in a situation I didn't anticipate. I have known this woman for over seventeen years and have always had strong feelings for her. She is six years older then me however, so age and eventually living in different cities never allowed us to have a relationship. I never quite stopped thinking about her though. We kept in touch as friends, and when I moved back to my hometown we began to hang out. A long time had passed since we really had any time to spend together, and I had grown as a person and done many things with my life. It wasn't like she was the only woman I had ever fixed my attention on, but something about her has always been different.

Anyway, we were at an event together and she started making it very obvious that she had feelings for me. Everything I had ever felt for her just came rushing back into my mind and I couldn't stop myself... We are currently living together and everything is going well, and I anticipate that everything will continue to go well. I have been asked, how I can trust a relationship that started in this way? I don't have a good answer. All I know right now is its the most natural easy relationship I have ever had with someone.

As hypocritical as it sounds I still believe cheating to be wrong in principal. I sincerely regret causing anyone pain over what we have done, but at the same time I think its hard to understand a situation until you are the one going through it. As f*cked up as it is I understand my parents better as well. I think a little of what TheFloydSound has said rings true. Monogamy can be difficult. Especially if it is a relationship that grew and persisted for the wrong reasons. I think if you truly believe you belong with someone then life is too short to deny yourself a chance to find out if it works based solely on the fear of societies issues with cheating.

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#23

Posted 28 February 2012 - 11:24 PM

QUOTE (lil weasel @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 17:04)
QUOTE (*MURDOC* @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 21:48)
QUOTE (lil weasel @ Tuesday, Feb 28 2012, 16:45)
If you haven't entered in to a 'Contract' there isn't any cheating. In a 'Marrage Contract' it would be called Adultry. Which by current use isn't even punished. So how could 'cheating' among unmarried, un-contracted couple be 'bad'?

It's more of a trust issue genius.

What do you think a contract is?
And, I didn't think it showed smile.gif

I guess we've established that people don't necessarily gain intelligence as they age.

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#24

Posted 28 February 2012 - 11:56 PM

Personally, I think it's f*cked up to cheat on someone. I've been cheated on a few times and it's never been an easy thing to get over. My last relationship changed everything for me. She left me purely because we were drifting apart. As much as it killed me inside, I completely understood where she was coming from and had nothing but respect for her honesty. Purely for breaking up with me that way, it made things a little easier because I had no questions that went unanswered. Still, it f*cked me up because I'm a fool for love and I let myself become too invested.

I must admit that I can definitely see the temptation though. There had been a few times where I had been hanging out with some friends either drinking or smoking pot and, mainly because of the intoxication of people, they became quite flirty. I've slept with a few of my female friends and we've always been cool about it. I always knew when things may have gone too far so I knew when to back off. The temptation was there but I never got too close. Thank god.

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#25

Posted 01 March 2012 - 01:27 PM Edited by rodneythesavior, 01 March 2012 - 01:30 PM.

Every girlfriend I've ever had has cheated on me. On my 19th birthday, I found out that my girlfriend and my "best-friend" had had sex. I couldn't trust anyone for a long time. Everyone makes mistakes, I've cheated once. I felt so bad about it, that I told my girlfriend immediatly, and eventually we worked through it.
QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Wednesday, Feb 15 2012, 17:58)
Once a cheater, always a cheater.

That's not necessarily true. My current girlfriend was dating this douche for 2 years before me and her hooked up. She broke up with him, and we started dating. It was rocky for a while, she cheated on me with him for the first two months, but I told her it was either him or me. She chose me. We've been together ever since. (that was nearly 3 years ago... damn time flies) And we have a daughter now.

What I'm trying to say is. It really depends on the girl/guy's personality. You have to take alot of things into account. In your situation, you're right (sorry sad.gif ) But you can't say 'Once a cheat, always a cheat' Keep your chin up, eventually you'll find the right girl. colgate.gif

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#26

Posted 01 March 2012 - 06:37 PM

QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Thursday, Feb 16 2012, 01:15)
Well my girlfriend of the last three years has cheated on me and left me for her new boyfriend. This NEW boyfriend is in fact her ex who she lost her virginity to and following that, he cheated on her twice, with her best friend. Now I'm not condoning my actions over the last three years, I've never hit her, never cheated, always tried my best to support her. She claims she's wanted her ex back for a long time and eventually she couldn't stop herself and got with him.

I was just wondering if anybody here condones cheating or have had their own experiences with a cheating partner or ex?

He was probably better at giving head or had a bigger penis or something. Life's a bitch.

I've never cheated on anyone i've been serious with, that's because if I was just going to shag people willy nilly, I wouldn't get in a relationship. Most girls are fine with a casual relationship nowadays anyway. I've been in a relationship for 5 months now though and it's serious, I have no intention of f*cking anything with a pulse anymore, that got boring when I was like 18.

I don't think i've ever been cheated on either.

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#27

Posted 01 March 2012 - 06:47 PM

What is it with girls (some genuinely intelligent, some slags) constantly falling for people who do not care for them at all, allowing themselves to be used, and forsaking those who are truly worth their time? Honestly, it makes me wonder if the majority of them are shallow because the amount of people I've seen hurt, the amount of close friends of mine (including a few girls) who've proven this over and over again; it's just ludicrous.

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#28

Posted 01 March 2012 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Thursday, Mar 1 2012, 20:47)
constantly falling for people who do not care for them at all

Some girls are just plain stupid. Tell them some nice things, they'll do everything for you. I always considered women to be much more shallow than men.

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#29

Posted 01 March 2012 - 09:04 PM

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Thursday, Mar 1 2012, 18:47)
What is it with girls (some genuinely intelligent, some slags) constantly falling for people who do not care for them at all, allowing themselves to be used, and forsaking those who are truly worth their time? Honestly, it makes me wonder if the majority of them are shallow because the amount of people I've seen hurt, the amount of close friends of mine (including a few girls) who've proven this over and over again; it's just ludicrous.

It's a damn shame that this is often true. My housemate who has a lot going for her in terms of attraction, intelligence and just overall personality, has the biggest prick of a boyfriend I know of. He's cheated on her, talks to her like she's sh*t and never bothers to put any effort into making her happy. She's always whining about him and yet she does f*ck all about it. I had a huge crush on her around the time we met and she eventually told me that she liked me too. Without sounding too pompous or full of myself I can honestly say that I'd be a million times better than him. But, of course, he's far better looking, dresses fashionably, a vain twat so obviously he's the better choice. This is a perfect example of woman-logic.

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#30

Posted 01 March 2012 - 09:14 PM

QUOTE (NaidRaida @ Thursday, Mar 1 2012, 14:08)
QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Thursday, Mar 1 2012, 20:47)
constantly falling for people who do not care for them at all

Some girls are just plain stupid. Tell them some nice things, they'll do everything for you. I always considered women to be much more shallow than men.

My father related to me a story from a book he is reading that was written by a psychologist. The book focuses specifically on developing relationships and why people do stuff like what you just said they do.

The story detailed a patient of the psychologist who constantly fell for men who didn't treat her well mentally or emotionally. It came out that in her past, her father had been very similar in terms of being cold or loving her conditionally, and as you'd expect of a child, she always sought to gain his affection. This ended up translating into her relationships. Subconsciously she sought a man who was similar to her father so that she could show herself that she could win his affection by proxy--that is, if she could get someone similar to her father to love her, she make her father to love her, and she would feel validated.

People love to use the term "daddy issues" to describe girls with psychological problems, but using such a euphemism really undermines the deep complexity of a lot of mental issues that both men and women suffer from on account of poor parenting. What girls like the one above need are some good counseling and supportive, upfront friends.

As for the question about cheating, I can't believe it's actually a question. Going behind the back of someone you pledged monogamy to is cowardly, foolish, selfish, and potentially dangerous if the sex is unprotected. While I do believe that humans are polyamorous by nature, cheating is unacceptable. Always. Better to just ditch the person and then get your jollies off with someone else.




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