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The Black Cat

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Dr-Mayhem111
  • Dr-Mayhem111

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#1

Posted 31 January 2012 - 12:57 AM Edited by Dr-Mayhem111, 10 March 2012 - 03:58 AM.

user posted image
An action/comedy story about the "finest" cops

Introduction

I'm sure you may have read many stories about criminal world from a criminal point of view, but have you ever read a story about the criminal world from a cop point of view? This story will be like a script which will give a better image and if you want, you could act it out.

This series will have 10 seasons with 20 episode every season. This season is about two cops James "Jimmy" Murdoch and Tony Crandell. They are a unusual mix of cops but together they always solve any case and leave a trail of blood. This is for people to read and imbrace the action being thrown at you and the comedy that happens quite alot. Hope you enjoy, let's begin with the adventure.

Ep:1 Pilot

Info: Liberty City's dangerous streets are about to get more dangerous. Two street cops get promoted to detective.


[James in a cop car alongside with his current partner George Naven patrolling in Star Junction]

George: Have you ever had a dream James?

James: What?

George: Have you ever had a dream?

James: Why do you ask me that?

George: Well because you seem to be many peoples nightmare also because of the fact you are a loose cannon.

James: Wow George, how long have you been wanting to say that to me?

George: Ever since you shot that one burglar at the gas station.

James: But he didn't die.

George: You shot him in the head!

James: Don't be stupid I missed and got him on the neck.

George: Which caused him to be permently paralyzed from the neck down.

James: Iím I gonna get arrested now?

George: Iím just saying to control yourself.

James: Yes Mom.

Dispatch: All units all units please be advise we have a grand theft auto in progress, the vehicle is a red Dukes heading northbound towards East Holland, suspect possibly armed and dangerous. Proceed with precautions.

James: This is car 56A enroute. Yeah some action.

George: Here we go again.

[Jimmy turns on the sirens and puts the pedal to the metal. He makes it to East Holland but there was no sign of the red Dukes, until it hits his police cruiser from the side causing the police cruiser to be out of the chase.]

James: F*ck that stupid moron.

George: You okay?

James: No my f*cking pack of cigarettes are destroyed.

George: This is car 56A, we are out of chase.

James: F*ck that Iím still going after him.

George: What are you doing?

James: You can either come with me or stay here waiting for the cops to come get you when the chase is done. Your choice?

George: All right letís go.

[James commandeers a white Vigero and continues to chase the stolen red Dukes. James golden skill of driving managed to pay off when he reached the car where he immediatly started hitting the stolen vehicle with great force.]

James: Yeah paybacks a bitch.

George: You have officially lost your mind.

James: Yes I have.

[James continued hitting the car and then it crashed into a tree and the driver quickly gets out of the car holding a Mac10 then runs towards the ocean.]

James: Wait here George.

George: Are you gonna kill him.

James: Ummmm..... no.

George: Okay good, I got your back partner.

James: I know you do George, let's do this.

[The suspect keeps running until he reaches the edge, he then stops, turns around and then aims the gun at James but he doesn't shoot.]

Suspect: Stay away from me or I'll shoot!

James: No you drop the weapon or I'll shoot.

Suspect: F*ck you!

James: No f*ck you!

Suspect: don't make me shoot because I will.

James: Look just calm down okay, I'll drop my weapon if you drop yours.

Suspect: Do you think I'm stupid?

James: Judging by the way you drive I can honestly say yes.

[George sees the situation and tries sneak up to the suspect to disarm him. He was getting closer, James notices him and tries to distract the suspect so George can disarm him. George accidentally steps on a twig making a noise even the suspect heard. The suspect turns to George and shoots him twice in the chest, James quick draws his other gun and shoots the suspect in the head. James rushes to George.]

James: NOOO, George, George, GEORGE. Please say something!

George(weak): Hey James, stop being a bitch.

James(weak laugh): Haha how come now you get a sense of humor?

George(weak): Because of this song called "The Last Laugh". I forgot who sings it.

James: Love Fist, 1988.

George: Oh yeah that's right, how does it go?

James: "Stepping into a battlefield of love, I look around and all I see is nothing but forgotten souls. Loving someone is like an adventure, you feel excitement then you feel bored".

[George sings along]

George: "You used to love my stupid jokes, I used to love the way you laughed, but sadly I have to say it's time for the last laugh."

Together: We had alot of good times, we had alot of good laughs, we traveled around the world and we saw the ancient wonders. We heard some jokes and we both laughed joyfully. But I must tell you, I'm not going to be around. I'm going back to the military. I know your heart is something I'll have, but for now let's just celebrate this last laugh."

[George sings the last note of the song and dies peacefully. James couldn't hold the tears, he cried his eyes out. Back up had finally arrived, but it was too late. Two weeks pass and James is in for a surprise.]

Location - East Holland Police Department. Time - 11:33 am. Date - Jan. 30 2012.
Murdoch's desk


Captain: Murdoch in my office now.

James: Oh great, what the f*ck did I do?

Christian: He probably wants talk about George.

James: The captain can only live for so long.

Christian: After the Yakuza and Colombian Cartel in 2001, it's a mystery to alot of people he's still walking.

James: Yeah I know the story, he had Kenji at gunpoint and then he was shot in both legs by a Cartel member blah blah blah, he's not made of titanium.

Christian: I'm just saying, he's been through alot.

James: And I've been through gunfights, car chases, explosions, Claude Speed, The Leones, and Gerald McReary. And he was shot in both legs, wow what a superhero.

Christian: That Claude Speed wasn't easy, what happened to him?

James: I don't know, probably got killed or something. He's been missing for over ten years.

Christian: What was that girl that used to the wife of Salvatore Leone? Umm...

James: Umm... It started with a M right?

Christian: I think so.

Captain: MURDOCH IN MY OFFICE NOW!

James: Well I gotta go, try find out that name.

Captain Davis's Office

Captain: Alright Murdoch I know you're still feeling bad because of Naven's death, but I got a surprise for you.

James: What a new case, evidence on some murder, Francis McReary's grave location.

Captain: You do know you are not allowed to be near his grave.

James: Why?

Captain: You pissed on his grave when the funeral was over.

James: He was a big Richard.

Captain: A big Richard?

James: A dick, he was a dick.

Captain: Anyway, ready for your surprise?

James: Not really.

Captain: Too bad. Meet Tony Crandell.

Tony: Hey, hi, hello, how are you doing?

James: Who's he?

Captain: He is your new partner.

[James stares at Tony for about a few seconds, then he whispers]

James(whispering): You gotta be sh*tting me.

[End of Ep.1]

Dr-Mayhem111
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#2

Posted 31 January 2012 - 07:41 AM

The Black Cat

Ep:2 New Partner

Info: James gets a new partner and he doesn't seem to like him much. The captain assigns them to a murder case to test the new guy.


Location - East Holland Police Department. Time - 11:41 am. Date - Jan. 30 2012.
Captain Davis's Office


[Captain Davis gives James a new partner, but he is not to happy.]

Tony: Hey partner.

James: Shut the f*ck up, really Captain a new partner? Did you by any chance get high off that drug bust we did last month?

Captain: Just a little, listen Murdoch we thought if you got a new partner you might feel better...

[James interrupts Davis]

James: Feel better, right now I feel like strangling the sh*t out of this guy. I don't want a new partner so you and Sonny..

[Tony interrupts James to correct him]

Tony: It's Tony.

James: Can go f*ck yourselves.

Captain: That is no way to talk to me.

James: Oh shut up I'm your cousin.

Captain: I'm also your Captain so fix the attitude, go to Roy, and pick up your new case file.

[James and Tony exit the Captains office]


On the way to Roy's desk

Tony[excitedly]: This is great, I'm gonna be working with James Murdoch. This is gonna be epic.

James: Look, if we're gonna be partners let's get a few things straight: I don't like people who talk to much, I don't like people annoying me as I'm driving, and I'll shoot you if you break these rules. Understand?

Tony(scared): Yes sir.

James: Good, now lets get that case file.


Roy's desk

James: Hey Roy.

Roy: Jimmy how's it going?

James: Not good, I gotta new partner.

Roy: Really, where is he?

Tony: I'm right here, right next to my partner.

Roy: Tony Crandell from Hove Beach, haha I feel sorry for you?

James and Tony: For who?

Roy: For you two, Tony will annoy the sh*t out of Jimmy and Jimmy will shoot Tony just for some peace and quiet.

Tony: He really is gonna shoot me?

Roy: I was once his partner, and because I spilled coffee all over him, he started shooting at me with Glock 17. Luckily I manage to be okay, needless to say I got a new partner and he was suspended..

James: That's right Tony, so you better watch out. (Evil laugh)

Tony(gulps): Oh sh*t.

Roy(laughing): Anyway what do you need Jimmy boy?

James: The new case file that was assigned to me.

Tony: Ahem.

James: Oh yeah and Tommy.

Tony: Its Tony.

James: Whatever.

Roy: Here you go, good luck Jimmy.

James: Thanks Roy see you later.

Roy: Try not to kill this one Jimmy.

Tony: Yeah try not to kill this one. Please.

James: I'll try let's go.


In Murdoch's car

Tony: Whoa nice car.

James: Now that I got promoted I can go undercover.

Tony: No it's "now that I've been promoted"

James: What?

Tony: You said "I got promoted" the correct way saying it is "I've been promoted.

James: What are you a cop or my f*cking english teacher?

Tony: I'm just trying to help you speak properly.

James: Oh yeah well help this "f*ck you" to speak properly.

Tony: Wow that anger that many people told me, this is so real its great.

James: Shut up we're here.

[They exit the vehicle]


Location - Purgatory Car Wash. Time - 11:57 am.

[James walks up to Officer Ryan Banks]

James: What do we got?

Ryan: One dead body, a weapon, and a written message found in his jacket.

Tony: Is he dead?

James: No he's just taking a nap in a car wash and spilled tomato juice all over him.

Tony: Sorry, I'm not used to seeing dead bodies.

James: Well get used to it because hanging with me, you'll see a series of dead bodies.

Ryan: Jimmy you might know him.

James: What?

Ryan: Yep, check it out.

[Ryan Banks uncovers the dead body, James quickly knows who it is.]

James: No f*cking way.

Tony: Who is that?

James: My uncle.


End of Ep.2

Vital_Dial3
  • Vital_Dial3

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#3

Posted 02 February 2012 - 11:07 AM

Pretty f*cking sweet if you ask me, I just want to read more. A good blend of serious drama and comedy.

Dr-Mayhem111
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#4

Posted 06 February 2012 - 11:26 PM

QUOTE (Vital_Dial3 @ Thursday, Feb 2 2012, 07:07)
Pretty f*cking sweet if you ask me, I just want to read more. A good blend of serious drama and comedy.

Thanks, I'll post more soon.

Dr-Mayhem111
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#5

Posted 11 February 2012 - 01:25 AM

The Black Cat

Ep:3 Visiting an old friend

Info: James and Tony's first case as detectives involve the death of Robert Nicholas Murdoch, James uncle, who ever did this is going to pay.


Location - Purgatory Car Wash. Time - 12:00 pm. Date - Jan. 30 2012.

[ James sees the dead body of his Uncle, get ready for some action. ]

Tony: Your Uncle?

James: Yeah, how the f*ck did this happen?

Ryan: Reports of gunshots being heard here last night, we have no suspects but one little piece of evidence.

James: Let me see it, come on Tommy.

Tony: It's Tony.

James: Whatever Montana, lets just go.

[ James, Ryan, and Tony walk over to the evidence. Ryan hands James an old and dirty rag, James knows who's it is right away. ]

James: Frank Vallard.

Tony: The singer?

James: No he.. wait there's a singer named Frank Vallard?

Tony: Yeah, he sings Opera's.

James: Wow you really are a queer.

Tony: What!

James: Nothing, I'm talking about this mechanic in Bohan who always has a dirty rag with the initials "F.V." on it.

Tony: Good work but is this enough to make him a suspect, I mean like you say he's just a a mechanic.

James: He does custom car improvements for gangs all around Liberty City, so he would be my first guess. Lets go there.

Tony: Alright.



In Murdoch's car

Tony: I have to know, what car is this?

James: You are a cop and you don't know what car this is?

Tony: What's that suppose to mean?

James: It means you are a f*cking idiot but I'll gladly tell you what car this is.

Tony: I am not a f*cking idiot.

James: Oh yeah then tell what car that is in front of us.

Tony: Sure it's a........... Futo.

James: You think that's a Futo?

Tony: Yyyeess?

James: That's a Blista Compact.

Tony: I was just about to say that.

James: My car is a Dukes with a 440 engine and speed that goes up to 200.

Tony: Wow, that is cool. You do any stunts with this baby?

James: Hell yeah, five years ago I was chasing this guy who robbed a taxi depot in hove beach. He went all the way to Bohan where I got him from the top.

Tony: Got him from the top, what does that mean?

James: It means I jumped off the unfinished bridge and hit his car.

Tony: Holy crap.

James: I know right, okay we're here.

[ James and Tony arrive at Frank's Garage in Bohan. ]

James: Okay I thinks it's best for you to go talk to him.

Tony: What, why?

James: Because as soon as he see me, he'll have a heart attack.

Tony: Alright I'll go, cover me if something happens.

James: You got it, don't worry you'll be fine.

[ Tony enters the garage. ]

Tony: Excuse me sir do you have a minute.

Frank: Yeah sure, what do you need?

Tony: Do you by any chance know a Robert Nicholas Murdoch?

Frank: Yeah why?

Tony: He was killed yesterday, I just came here to tell you. I'm sorry for your loss James.

Frank: Whoa I ain't that crazy ass fool.

[ James enters the garage. ]

James: No I am.

Frank Oh sh*t, hey James you think I was involved?

James: We found your rag at the crime scene, you know what that means?

Frank: No what?

[ James pulls out his customed Desert Eagle and points it at Franks head. ]

James: It means if you don't tell me something I'm gonna shoot you in between your eyes, do you want that?

Frank: F*ck you James, I'm telling the truth I wasn't involved, I'm being set up.

Tony: Who would set you up?

Frank: Carlo Pavano.

Tony: He's the brother of the Boss of the Pavano Family.

Frank: Yeah him. Anyway it all started last year when I was suppose to make his limo bulletproof because he was at war with a San Andreas crime empire known as the Chiazza Crime Syndicate. He pays me $25,000 and takes the limo after it's been improved.

James: I don't get it, why was he scared of them?

Frank: They are a powerful family that can take over this god forsaken city in a matter of days, but they choose to not expand their empire towards Liberty.

Tony: Yeah okay, why is Carlo setting you up?

Frank: Something about a car bomb that went off the day after I installed the bulletproof parts. He has been after me ever since.

[ A convoy of black Oracles stop in front of the garage with men getting out the cars shooting at the garage. ]

Frank, James, and Tony: OH sh*t!

[ Bullets flying everywhere, Frank, James, and Tony take cover behind a car. ]

Tony: Okay we are f*cked. Do you have a plan?

James: Yep, hey Frank you still have that armory here?

Frank: Yeah.

James: Good, cover me!

[ James runs to the back of the garage and opens the door to Frank's secret armory. ]

Tony: What's taking him so long?

Frank: How long have you guys been partners?

Tony: Few hours.

Frank: You better get used to this.

Tony: Why does everyone keep telling me that?

James(yelling): Because these little f*cks are gonna meet my little friend!

[ James kicks down the door and begins shooting a M4A1 with grenade launcher. ]

James: Die motherf*ckers!

Tony: Has this happened before?

Frank: What, Jimmy shooting multiple bad guys with black market weapons?

Tony: Yeah.

Frank: He did the same thing when he got in a shootout with Claude Speed.

Tony: No sh*t. Oh f*ck this I'm getting a gun.

Frank: Your right, I'm in.

[ Both Tony and Frank run back to the armory and pick up serious firearms. Tony picks up two MAC11's and Frank picks up an M60 custom and empties the clip towards the attackers. ]

James: You think you can take me!

Tony: It just got personal!

Frank: I'll have what she's having.

James and Tony: WHAT!

Frank: Nothing.

[ Carlo is seen in the distance by Frank and immediately warns James and Tony. ]

Frank: Holy sh*t, it's him!

James: Who?

Frank: Santa Clause, I'm seeing Santa in the distance. Carlo you dumbf*ck!

James: Get him!

Frank: Don't worry I got something for him.

[ Frank pulls out an RPG and kills Carlo, causing an incredible explosion killing the rest of the attackers. ]

James and Tony: HOLY SH*T!

Frank: Now that's one hell of a barbeque.

Tony: Damn what a mess, we should get out of here before the........

[ Sirens being heard in the distance interrupts Tony. ]

Tony: Cops arrive.

James: Well aren't we f*cked.

Frank: I'm good right?

James: Let's just play this one by ear Frank.

[ Captain Davis steps out of his police cruiser and walks towards the two detectives. ]

Captain: What the f*ck happened here?

James: Got a friendly visit from the Pavano's.

Captain: The Pavano's?

Tony: Yep, they attacked us first.

James: Yeah and we took fire.

Captain: With black-market weapons?

James: I could have caused alot more damage, consider this city lucky. Let's go Tony.

Tony: Wow you got my name right.

[ James and Tony walk away and enter James's car and drive away. ]


End of EP.3

Vital_Dial3
  • Vital_Dial3

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#6

Posted 21 February 2012 - 01:54 AM

QUOTE
Frank: I'll have what she's having.


biggrin.gif(Family Guy reference) Funny sh*t man you continue to impress me!

Dr-Mayhem111
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#7

Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:20 AM

The Black Cat

Ep:4 The Dukes of Liberty
Info: The beginning of James and Tony's case and so far we had a big shootout and a prime suspect. But things are a little slow ever since the shootout, but you are in for a surprise.


Location - East Holland Police Department. Time - 2:17 pm. Date - Feb. 13 2012.
Murdoch's desk.


[Two weeks after the shootout in Bohan, James and Tony have nothing until they get called down to Middle Park to investigate a murder.][/center]

Tony: This suck.

James: What does?

Tony: This wait for another lead, two weeks past already and we have nothing.

James: I know, it's pretty weird that there hasn't been any criminal activity lately.

Tony: I noticed, if the Pavano's are causing crimes in Algonquin and then all of a sudden they remain quiet after a shootout, isn't that telling you something?

James: Maybe they're in hiding, you do remember that Carlo got killed in the shootout.

Tony: By killed don't you mean barbequed?

[James and Tony chuckle]

James: I know right.

Tony: That was one hell of a explosion.

James: I always knew Frank had a armory in his garage, but I was thinking pistols and shotguns. Not a f*cking RPG.

Tony: How did you and Frank first meet?

James: In 2008, there was this rumor that a ship full of drugs, cars, and 2 million dollars worth of diamonds was coming in. I had to investigate to see if it was true, turned out it was. The ship arrived and docked in East Hook.

Tony: The Platypus.

James: That's right. Franks brother Oscar was the cook who was selling the diamonds.

Tony: No sh*t, how did he get them?

James: Some Russian guy claimed it was stolen from him and that caused alot of tension across the entire city. Bikers, Mafia families, street gangs from Northwood, even rich people like Yusef Amir and Tony Prince were after the diamonds. So many shootings, murders, deals and sh*t like that happened constantly because of those f*cking diamonds.

Tony: Where does Frank come in?

James: Frank was in Las Venturas, when the diamonds came in, I know pretty strange right.

Tony: Yeah.

James: He came back when the bullsh*t about the diamonds started to simmer down. Then he calls me personally to tell me his brothers missing, so I told him I'll find him. Because really I just wanted to end the bullsh*t. When I was just about to end the diamond fiasco, the fat prick ended up being dead, beheaded.

Tony: Ewww, who did it?

James: I don't know, after that there was even more tension. A plane that was leaving Liberty City exploded in the air which ended the diamond bullsh*t.

Tony: So nobody got the diamonds?

James: Someone did get the diamonds, you will never guess who.

Tony: Who?

James: Some homeless guy found the diamonds in a little bag in a trash can in Meadow Park.

Tony: What?

James: Yeah not ain't that a bitch.

[James receives a phone call from Officer Banks.]

James: This is Murdoch.

Banks: Hey Jimmy we need you here in Middle Park, some mafia member was killed.

James: Okay I'll be right there.

[James hangs up the phone.]

Tony: Who was that?

James: That was Banks, we got us a murder.

[James and Tony make their way to the garage, Captain Davis stops them.]

Davis: You two are not going to the Middle Park crime scene.

James: Why not Captain this is part of our case.

Tony: Yeah, besides what are we going to do exactly other than investigate.

Davis: I know you Jimmy, you are very very dangerous. You are off this case.

James: WHAT! Are you f*cking kidding me Captain!

Davis: No I'm not f*cking kidding you, you are off this case and that is final. This discussion is over.

[Captain Davis leaves.]

Tony: What now?

James: We go to Middle Park.

Tony: But the Captain said...

James: Nobody listens to the Captain okay, so come on.

Tony: I don't know Jimmy.

James: Look, if you want to be my partner, you need to grow some balls alright.

Tony: You know what, you're right let's go.


In Murdoch's car.


Tony: So a murder happened?

James: Yeah, I think the Pavano's are behind this.

Tony: Maybe, but it could be anybody I mean this is a crazy city. Everyday I'm hearing about a crazy european hired gunman in the news.

James: I know what you mean, this city is for mental people.

[Tony see's a car following them.]

Tony: Is it me or is that car following us.

[James looks back at the car and see's the driver pulling out a gun and starts shooting.]

James: OH SH*T.

[James steps on the gas.]

Tony: Who is that?

James: I don't know but he is in trouble.

[James drifts around Middle Park and speeds towards Bohan.]

Tony: Bohan really?

James: You ask to many questions, can't you just say a sentence that ends with a period and not a question mark?

Tony: Whats that suppose to mean?

James: I guess not.

[James continues speeding through Boulevard and reaches the incomplete bridge.]

Tony: Oh great now what are you doing?

James: Fasten your seat belt.

[Tony puts on his seat belt.]

James: And your fingers, keep as many as them crossed.

[James Dukes and the shooters Sentinel are side by side racing to the end of the bridge. Little does the shooter know, the bridge finishes in the air.... literally.]

Tony: Oh god, you can't be serious.

James: Just in case, it's been nice knowing you.

Tony: WHAT!

[James laughs maniacally.]

James: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[James Dukes and the shooters Sentinel go off the jump.]


To be continued.
End of episode 4.

Dr-Mayhem111
  • Dr-Mayhem111

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#8

Posted 06 March 2012 - 05:55 AM

The Black Cat

Ep:5 The Dukes of Liberty Part II
Info: The beginning of James and Tony's case and so far we had a big shootout and a prime suspect. But things are a little slow ever since the shootout, but you are in for a surprise.


Where we left off.

QUOTE

[James continues speeding through Boulevard and reaches the incomplete bridge.]

Tony: Oh great now what are you doing?

James: Fasten your seat belt.

[Tony puts on his seat belt.]

James: And your fingers, keep as many as them crossed.

[James Dukes and the shooters Sentinel are side by side racing to the end of the bridge. Little does the shooter know, the bridge finishes in the air.... literally.]

Tony: Oh god, you can't be serious.

James: Just in case, it's been nice knowing you.

Tony: WHAT!

[James laughs maniacally.]

James: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[James Dukes and the shooters Sentinel go off the jump.]


Location - South Bohan. Time - 2:51 pm. Date - Feb. 13 2012.
Murdoch's desk.


[James car makes the jump no problem, the shooters Sentinel landed upside down injuring both the driver and the shooter. Jimmy and Tony get out the car and point their guns at the assassins asking questions and getting answers.]

James: Get out now. Get the f*ck out now!

Tony: Come on Sleeping Beauty get out of the car right now or I'll shoot the gas tank.

[The two assassins get out of the car]

James: Okay first things first, who are and who sent you?

[The two assassins remain quiet]

Tony: What's the matter, cat got your tongue or is that pieces of glass shoved down your throat? ANSWER ME?

Assassin 1: No.

James: Well if you don't tell me something I can guarantee you it will happen so talk.

[The two assassins remain quiet]

James: Not talking huh? Well let's just see if a bullet to your skull will help.

Assassin 2: f*ck you!

[The other assassin pulls out a pistol and James shoots him twice. Assassin 1 attacks James to get away but Tony shoots him in his foot.]

James: Holy sh*t Crandell that was some wild west shooting, good job partner.

Tony: Thanks.

James: Now Tony, I need you aim your gun towards his nuts, any sudden movements you pull the trigger.

Tony: Okay.

Assassin 1: Whoa what are you doing?

James: We're just making sure that you don't try anything like that cheap shot you threw at me. At least this way, you move an inch and your nuts will be on the ground rotting so you better start talking.

Assassin 1: Okay, what do you want to know?

James: Who are you and who sent you?

Assassin 1: My names Henry.

James: Henry what?

Henry: Bardiani.

James: Okay Mr. Bardiani now that we know who you are, can you please tell us who sent you?

Henry: I can't remember his name, I know it's like a spanish name but he's Italian.

Tony: Yeah no sh*t. Try to remember quick or you'll remember the date you and your nuts were separated by a bullet for the rest of your life.

Henry: Umm... umm...

James: You're running out of time.

Tony: Forgive me lord for I have sinned!

Henry: CARLOS SOMETHING!

James: Carlos something, I remember him, what about you Tony?

Tony: Oh yeah he was the guy who got shot in the nuts because he wouldn't gives us a proper name.

Henry: Like I said, he's Italian but his name sounds spanish.

James: Did his last name start with a P by any chance?

Henry: Yes, uh Palano or something like that.

James: Pavano.

Henry: Yeah that's right, Carlo Pavano.

James and Tony: You've got to be sh*tting me.

[Tony puts his gun away]

Tony: Alright Henry you're free to go.

Henry: What about my foot?

James and Tony: WHAT ABOUT YOUR F*CKING FOOT?

Henry: Nothing, I'll just go.

[Henry leaves. James and Murdoch drive back to their precinct in East Holland to tell the Captain what happened.]


In Murdoch's car.

James: Alright, this sh*t is starting to make sense to me.

Tony: How?

James: Carlo pretended to be dead for the past two weeks so that he can get us by surprise, go after Frank, and put the blame on someone else.

Tony: On who?

James: Jimmy Pegorino.

Tony: But he's dead.

James: Exactly, the cops would've thought that the Pegorino's were moving on Pavano's territories and putting them under full investigation, and then... put them in prison for years.

Tony: I say it again, he's dead.

James: Are you familiar with Phil Bell?

Tony: No.

James: He was an associate of the Pegorino family, the most respected one.

Tony: His name doesn't sound Italian.

James: That's because he's not... well he is but... he's mostly Irish.

Tony: Okay and...

James: Just look him up on the police database, then come back to me.

Tony: What is he dangerous?

James: Nope just a slick son of a bitch with connections to the Commission.

[James and Tony arrive at their precinct.]

Location: East Holland Police Department. Time: 03:28 pm.

James and Tony: Hey Captain.

Davis: How come ever since you two were partners it has been nothing but bad news.

James: Well it's a first time for everything and everyone so we bring you good news.

Davis: Oh great let's throw a party. What's the good news, you retiring?

James: Far from it.

Davis: I knew it was too good to be true.

James: Here is our good news. Tony would you please do the honers?

Tony: Why thank you I shall.

Davis: Could you just get to the point already!

Tony: Carlo Pavano is still alive.

Davis: What?

James: That's right. He sent two amateurs to kill us moments ago as we going to...... uhhh?

Tony: Get... some... donuts.

James: Yeah yeah and coffee.

Davis: Don't bullsh*t me, you were on your way to the Middle Park crime scene.

James and Tony: Yes.

Davis: Well look here... [Davis gets a phone call] "Davis here. Uhuh. Okay. When and where? Okay I got the perfect guys for the job. Okay you take care now. [Davis hangs up.] Well boys it's your lucky day, I'm putting you back in the case.

James: Yes thank you Captain.

Tony: Yeah thanks. Why?

Davis: The FIB are getting in this case as well and they need our help. So you tell them what happen and they'll assist you with this case.

James and Tony: The FIB?

James: What do they want?

Davis: Who knows, just go to this address and help them.

James: Okay Cap. See ya.

Tony: See ya Cap.

Davis: Oh by the way, meet your FIB advisor, Victoria Coakly.

[Victoria is a stunningly beautiful woman who catches both James and Tony's attention.]

Victoria: Hi I'm Victoria.

James: Hi I'm Tommy.

Tony: I'm John.

Victoria: You mean James Murdoch and Tony Crandell. I read your portfolio and I must say it is great to be working with you two. Let's get started shall we?

James and Tony: SHE'S MINE!


End of EP.5


Dr-Mayhem111
  • Dr-Mayhem111

    4th Generation Corsino Capo Crimini

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#9

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:02 AM Edited by Dr-Mayhem111, 14 March 2012 - 04:10 AM.

The Black Cat:
Devin Williams calls the cops.

This will be a mini episode of the black cat and its called "Devin Williams Calls the Cops." This is about a man who calls the cops to report a crime that happened to him, and its going to be real funny. Hope you enjoy.

Location - Northwood Apartments
Time - 03:17 pm
Date - 2/3/2012
Crime - Grand Theft Auto


Devin: 911 is a joke. 911 is a mothaf*cking joke!

[Police knock on the door]

Devin: Finally.

[Devin opens the door]

Devin: Well it's about time Republican Space Rangers!

Cop 1: Excuse me sir?

Devin: I called y'all an hour ago.

Cop 2: What's the problem here sir?

Devin: Get inside and I'll tell you.

[The two police officers enter Devin's apartment]

Devin: Okay thank you for joining me. Here's what happened, I went outside to get a new jacket over at Modo right? I walked because it was close and I didn't want to waste gas. I come back, I see glass all over my parking space and tire marks like someone was burning out. I look up and my car's gone.

Cop 1: Okay what your car's year, model, and color?

Devin: 2008 Sentinel, black.

Cop 2: Wow those are nice cars.

Cop 1: Yeah they're fast.

Devin: Yeah they also carry a lot of weed, which was in my car when it was stolen. That's right, all my weed is gone along with my whip.

Cop 2: I'm sorry, did you say all of your weed is gone along with your whip?

Devin: Come on Roscoe P. Coltrane, don't tell me you don't what weed is man. Pot, reefer, marijuana!

Cop 1: We know what weed is sir.

Devin: Alright well quit dorking me around here alright, I'm a man who's been robbed. They took three rolled up roaches and 10 pounds of Sour Mama Piff that I harvested last weekend, alright. So go and get on the case, Roy and the Donut Monster.

Cop 2: You do know we're cops right?

Devin: I don't.... I don't even understand what's happening here. The dudes that stole my car along with my weed is getting away and I'm talking to the cops right here.

Cop 1: Can you tell me what happened sir?

Devin: Alright thank you Cole Phelps. Your partner Officer Ethan Bawsaq here keeps jacking me around but I can see that you with it, alright. So last night, I was at this house party in Alderny City, I shut it down, got real drunk. I decided to drive back to my place for a little after party, you know what I'm talking haha.

Cop 2: Wait a minute, you drove drunk?

Devin: Catch up Enos, alright. Officer Miami Vice is listening and trying to investigate, what you doing? Exactly nothing.

Cop 1: What's your name sir?

Devin: Devin Williams, thats D-E-V-I-N W-I-L-L-I-A-M-S, some people call me Cop Killah. At this point I'm in my car, I'm driving and I lose control and almost hit this cop car in Purgatory, luckily he didn't see me. At this point I make it back to my pad where the party is already happening and let me tell you, it's a white christmas if you know what I'm talking about hahahahahahaha if you know what I'm talking about.

Cop 2: You were doing cocaine?

Devin: Yeah okay thank you for joining us Gordy Tubbs, me and Officer something here were talking about a crime that happened, it's nice to see you here. Yes I was doing cocaine. Most I've ever done. And everybody in this piece was talking over one another, we watching a bootleg copy of Princess Bubblegum: The Movie. And this one girl she tried to leave and we wouldn't let her, so we slip her some GHB and put her in the back room, she could be there still, I do not know. At this point, I go out to get a jacket, which I stole cause I don't got no money. When I come back that's when my car and my weed was stolen. So there you have it, Street Sweeping Jones and Boss Hogg. Let's get on the case......... Why are you not left yet?

Cop 2: Let me get this straight. You got drunk and drove drunk too?

Devin: Almost hit a cop car in Purgatory.

Cop 2: Then you snorted some cocaine?

Devin: Most I've ever done.

Cop 2: You held a girl against her will?

Devin: She was screaming.

Cop 2: And you stole a jacket, is that about right?

Devin: What the f...... And my car that was full of weed got took man! Have you not been listening to a single word I been saying?

Cop 1: Okay here's what we're gonna do, uuhhh we're gonna arrest you know cause everything you said is illegal.

Devin: What you talking about man.

Cop 2: Driving drunk, doing drugs, kidnapping, and stealing is against the law.

Devin: What... aww man this is ridiculous. I called you, I called y'all. I guess this is what happens if we elect John Hunter.

Cop 1: Alright let's go.

Devin: Whoa whoa whoa hang on Judge Brown, what if I had information about a murder?

Cop 2: Well we could probably knock some of this down if you had information on a murder.

Devin: Cuffs please?

[The cops take off the cuffs]

Devin: Would it hurt or help me if I was the murderer in question?

Cop 1: It would differently hurt.

Devin: Okay so... Holy hell what's that behind y'all.

[The two police officers look back and Devin runs away]

Cop 2: Aw man.

Cop 1 and 2: Freeze!


End of EP.

Ziggy455
  • Ziggy455

    I'm the writer.

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  • Joined: 02 May 2007

#10

Posted 24 March 2012 - 02:31 AM Edited by Ziggy455, 24 March 2012 - 02:33 AM.

QUOTE
Devin: Nine one one is a joke. Nine one one is a mothaf*cking joke!

[A knock is heard at the door.]

Devin: Finally.

[Devin opens the door, two police officers stand in the hallway.]

Devin: Well it's about time Republican Space Rangers!

Cop 1: Excuse me sir?

Devin: I called y'all an hour ago.

Cop 2: What's the problem here sir?

Devin: Get inside and I'll tell you.

[The two police officers enter Devin's apartment.]


The problem with scripts and people who think they can write them is that they give no insight into the scene The first thing you need to focus on is FORMATTING. Notice how I have centred the writing, colour coded each character and given a tiny bit of insight into the scene. All of these are marked in red.

You're not giving us any kind of imaginative detail into the scene, it's just dialogue! A script should contain an opening paragraph, generally explaining the scene. Is it day or night? Is Devin sweating out of stress? What do the cops look like? What does the apartment look like? It's all about detail.

Also, always write a number as word. Nine one one not 911. Try and format this, it'll make things easier on yourself and the readers. Besides that, it's not that bad. Focus on this.




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